I think that some people who are parents, or at least pass themselves off as parents sort of come across as "Oh look at us, our reproductive organs work!" and "Oh crap, I've got this overwhelming responsibility now!"
I've got this friend who just whinges about the responsibility of being a parent, and how hard and tiring it is :rolleyes:. It's plain to see he struggles with parenthood half the time. I just think to myself, why have a child if you're going to whinge about the responsibility!? :rolleyes: I think it would be fair to say his missus wanted a child more than he did! :rolleyes: Sorry but it's true! The other thing is they've got another baby due in November, so the workload is obviously going to be doubled, so if it's difficult now, well.........he probably have a nervous breakdown!
Having their 2nd child I'm not sure whether to say congratulations or commiserations!
However it is true that whatever you feel about other people's kids you DO adore your own.
You might, but I'd hardly say all parents do. Otherwise, why would sexual, verbal and physical abuse happen? Why do I see so many common mothers swearing at their children when I go to rough areas?
You are talking about yourself. I see many people who really shouldn't be parents and obviously don't adore them, they seem to find them an inconvenience.
I have to say the OP is entitled to their opinion.
I have 2 children & although i love them dearly, sometimes I yearn for my childless days. without the responsibilty, without worrying about the world they're growing up in 7 without the money worries.
Having said that, children are the adults of tomorrow & thank goodness some of us choose to have them. They are the doctors, policemen, teachers, nurses & so on of tomorrow & we need them.
You might, but I'd hardly say all parents do. Otherwise, why would sexual, verbal and physical abuse happen? Why do I see so many common mothers swearing at their children when I go to rough areas?
You are talking about yourself. I see many people who really shouldn't be parents and obviously don't adore them, they seem to find them an inconvenience.
I'm sure there are many genuine people, good parents, who had children because they really wanted them. But what about the others?
Are they having children because "it's expected" or "they don't want to disappoint the relatives" or maybe "our parents really want to be grandparents.
Perhaps "all their friends are having children and they don't want to be the odd ones out"?
Or is it to avoid work and claim social security in some cases?
I do think that people who want to be parents should undergo some training. After all, if you want to drive a car on public roads you have to pass a test, otherwise you would be a menace. If you want to practice medicine you have to qualify.
If you want to have a child and lay the foundations for someone's life, you need no training at all. In the past this would probably have come from relatives and extended families nearby. How many people have this support now?
What is wrong with compulsory parenting classes?
But I do believe households where any of the following apply should have no right whatsoever to be parents....
Involvement in serious or violent crime
Use of hard drugs (heroin, cocaine and derivatives)
Repeated incidents of domestic violence
Serious alcohol issues
Repeated incidents of failure to supervise children and allowing them to "run wild", especially if this is leading to criminal activity or damage.
In these cases children should be removed and placed with those people who want children but can't for medical reasons.
OP, see your point. I don't hate kids and sometimes even get broody, but when I really think about it I'd have kids for selfish reasons - to carry on my family's name and heritage, and to have a family to be there for me. I love being an aunty but I love giving the kids back. I'm not that maternal and feel I would be held back by having children and would end up taking on dual responsibilities as no matter what happens/changes, it tends to be the woman who should be primary carer of the child.
If I have children I will be in my 30s, probably late 30s. I'm glad career woman now can have children in their 30s and 40s. Part of me would like them younger, to enjoy my grandkids growing up, but then we are living for longer & longer. I love my freedom and independence, and I love my relationship with my partner as it is.
I do feel some people have children and don't understand the weight of the responsibility, and just how radically their lives change. I have seen friends like this. I almost feel angry with them. I know just how much a child would change my life. I am in full control of my life and where I'm heading; to be left with a baby in my arms would be chaos.
Mr P would be fabulous and I know it, but I still feel the enormous pressure of being a Mother is put upon the woman and I'm not ready for that.
I would like a family and I come from a big family that is always getting bigger. But I put myself first. I've done well from putting myself first and maybe a time will come in my life when me and my partner are ready to devote our lives to someone else who will become number one priority.. but it won't be anytime soon.
I do think parenting is a massive job and I have respect for those who truly plan it, and do a great job. I think full time Mothers/Fathers who put their children first and provide for them have a tough job and it's not an easy one. Being an actual good parent is hard - anyone can have a child, being a parent is difficult.
Comments
I've got this friend who just whinges about the responsibility of being a parent, and how hard and tiring it is :rolleyes:. It's plain to see he struggles with parenthood half the time. I just think to myself, why have a child if you're going to whinge about the responsibility!? :rolleyes: I think it would be fair to say his missus wanted a child more than he did! :rolleyes: Sorry but it's true! The other thing is they've got another baby due in November, so the workload is obviously going to be doubled, so if it's difficult now, well.........he probably have a nervous breakdown!
Having their 2nd child I'm not sure whether to say congratulations or commiserations!
You might, but I'd hardly say all parents do. Otherwise, why would sexual, verbal and physical abuse happen? Why do I see so many common mothers swearing at their children when I go to rough areas?
You are talking about yourself. I see many people who really shouldn't be parents and obviously don't adore them, they seem to find them an inconvenience.
I have 2 children & although i love them dearly, sometimes I yearn for my childless days. without the responsibilty, without worrying about the world they're growing up in 7 without the money worries.
Having said that, children are the adults of tomorrow & thank goodness some of us choose to have them. They are the doctors, policemen, teachers, nurses & so on of tomorrow & we need them.
I'm sure there are many genuine people, good parents, who had children because they really wanted them. But what about the others?
Are they having children because "it's expected" or "they don't want to disappoint the relatives" or maybe "our parents really want to be grandparents.
Perhaps "all their friends are having children and they don't want to be the odd ones out"?
Or is it to avoid work and claim social security in some cases?
I do think that people who want to be parents should undergo some training. After all, if you want to drive a car on public roads you have to pass a test, otherwise you would be a menace. If you want to practice medicine you have to qualify.
If you want to have a child and lay the foundations for someone's life, you need no training at all. In the past this would probably have come from relatives and extended families nearby. How many people have this support now?
What is wrong with compulsory parenting classes?
But I do believe households where any of the following apply should have no right whatsoever to be parents....
Involvement in serious or violent crime
Use of hard drugs (heroin, cocaine and derivatives)
Repeated incidents of domestic violence
Serious alcohol issues
Repeated incidents of failure to supervise children and allowing them to "run wild", especially if this is leading to criminal activity or damage.
In these cases children should be removed and placed with those people who want children but can't for medical reasons.
If I have children I will be in my 30s, probably late 30s. I'm glad career woman now can have children in their 30s and 40s. Part of me would like them younger, to enjoy my grandkids growing up, but then we are living for longer & longer. I love my freedom and independence, and I love my relationship with my partner as it is.
I do feel some people have children and don't understand the weight of the responsibility, and just how radically their lives change. I have seen friends like this. I almost feel angry with them. I know just how much a child would change my life. I am in full control of my life and where I'm heading; to be left with a baby in my arms would be chaos.
Mr P would be fabulous and I know it, but I still feel the enormous pressure of being a Mother is put upon the woman and I'm not ready for that.
I would like a family and I come from a big family that is always getting bigger. But I put myself first. I've done well from putting myself first and maybe a time will come in my life when me and my partner are ready to devote our lives to someone else who will become number one priority.. but it won't be anytime soon.
I do think parenting is a massive job and I have respect for those who truly plan it, and do a great job. I think full time Mothers/Fathers who put their children first and provide for them have a tough job and it's not an easy one. Being an actual good parent is hard - anyone can have a child, being a parent is difficult.