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Married men in gay bars
floog
Posts: 981 Forum Member
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The other night I was in one of my local gay bars and, going by the rings on their fingers, I couldn't help but notice the number of married men who were also there. Seriously, I would estimate that about a third of the men in that bar were married - obviously on the look-out for sex given their slightly shifty demeanour and the fact that there with was no wife in sight.
What is everyone's opinion on this? Personally, I feel nothing but sympathy for them, sacrificing their own happiness for the sake of conforming and living up to everyone else's expectations. I have less sympathy for their wives - they would have to be stupid to not realise that their prospective husbands are gay prior to marriage (let's face it there are certain things that gay men won't do), and yet they put their own needs first rather than those of their partners.
And before anyone says it, I don't accept that their husbands are bisexual. Bisexual people do not need to be in a relationship with people of both sexes at all times - one or the other is enough!
What is everyone's opinion on this? Personally, I feel nothing but sympathy for them, sacrificing their own happiness for the sake of conforming and living up to everyone else's expectations. I have less sympathy for their wives - they would have to be stupid to not realise that their prospective husbands are gay prior to marriage (let's face it there are certain things that gay men won't do), and yet they put their own needs first rather than those of their partners.
And before anyone says it, I don't accept that their husbands are bisexual. Bisexual people do not need to be in a relationship with people of both sexes at all times - one or the other is enough!
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I know someone who is married and was searching for gay stuff while he stayed at my home. I never said a word, its not my place.
On another note he is a miserable so and so.
ETA: I do find the middle part of your OP rather biased though, those poor men, lying to those women and being forced to marry them, the women are to blame
In this example, could the men have been married to each other or just be having an innocent drink whilst their husbands rather than wives are at home?
I think that's a very unfair assessment on the wives, there a lot of men that suppress their sexuality very well to the point they've almost convinced themselves, how on earth would trusting wives know
Well the ones I've met always want to do some pretty gay things.
Its the done thing in London it seems, there are lots of girls in gay bars apparently who are not gay.
I have never been to one.
Yes I know lots of straight people who love gay bars for the vibe and music etc, I'm not disputing that.
Cheating with a man is worse than cheating with a woman, surely. Its a double lie.
Cheating is cheating in my eyes be it with a man or woman
There are, I know a couple. They go as the bars are nicer and having been out with my OH and her friends to one a few times, I can see why people do.
People are very quick to jump to conclusions.
I don't think its that black and white. Cheatings bad, but the person they choose can matter just as much, whatever gender.
I disagree, I would be just as pissed if my partner cheated with a man or a woman
If a woman refuses to fellate her husband, does that make her a lesbian? From the second paragraph I assume you are gay, trapped in a lavender marriage and resentful towards the wife that you feel 'trapped you'. Easier than manning up and taking responsibility for your life, I suppose. The assumption you make about bisexuals is just a generalisation, like your assumption about women marrying gay men.