Yes he has been abusive when drunk. Including one time a rant that went on for at least an hour and that time i really got fed up and was ranting back at him
Why didn't you just give up on him then??
A lot of people seem to think that fighting and arguing is a normal part of a relationship, when I really don't think it is.
You don't know this person. The bits you do know are all bad. Drink problem, abusive unreliable. What is it that could possibly be attractive about him?
Just don't take this any further. !if you waste time and money going to meet him he will be drunk and probably abusive and where does that leave you in a strange place? This about yourself and don't even think you can change this loser because you can't. You deserve better.
Cam4 is a webcam wank site - You met an alcoholic Irishman on a porn site.
Do you really need advice ?
Oh my gosh! I just looked at it
I assumed before that 'cam4' was more like ChatRoulette... but it's more like Chaturbate
Yes now really can't see how the OP has fallen for a 'performer'(?). Surely this is no different for falling for a stripper in a club? An angry, drunken stripper with no redeeming qualities...
I assumed before that 'cam4' was more like ChatRoulette... but it's more like Chaturbate
Yes now really can't see how the OP has fallen for a 'performer'(?). Surely this is no different for falling for a stripper in a club? An angry, drunken stripper with no redeeming qualities...
Because we moved on from that to talking on Skype and then on the phone so he became more than just a ''cam4 performer''
And in any case strippers and cam4 performers are still human. He also rarely does anything sexual on cam, just goes on there to talk to people
Because we moved on from that to talking on Skype and then on the phone so he became more than just a ''cam4 performer''
And in any case strippers and cam4 performers are still human. He also rarely does anything sexual on cam, just goes on there to talk to people
He goes on a website that caters towards people stripping and having sex on webcam and people watch. Whether he is on webcam himself or as a guest, he is still using the site (as you said). Surely that is a recipe for disaster?
I think you know deep down that this has absolutely no substance and the fact he has a drink problem, still goes on a site like that (where he will be talking to lots of guys) and most likely has other guys on the go. It's best left alone to be honest. You live in London, plenty of better opportunities!
Mentioning the name of the site was not a wise move
It's easy for people to say "bin him" when they are not the ones in the situation. As someone who is exclusively attracted to men who are terrible for me, I have a lot of sympathy for you.
However, don't be so nice to him. If he acts like an arse and ignores you, do not message him, do not text him, do not call him and if he messages you - take some time before you respond to him. Let him initiate contact. Otherwise you are making it to easy for him and he will lose interest.
I also don't see why it's taking so long for you to meet up. Just arrange something and stick to it.
I also don't see why it's taking so long for you to meet up. Just arrange something and stick to it.
He backs out of everything all the time. I would stick to something but he never does. I can't afford to pay out to go all the way to Belfast if the chances are he won't even arrive to meet me
I find it strange that he backs out. I have dated men with alcohol and drugs problems ( ) but they need to... ahem... make love too, so I would have thought that he would jump at the opportunity to meet you, although I can understand that those type of men are completely unreliable. It's not like he would be scared to show his face, since you've already seen him on camera, so your plans probably just coincided with his benders.
He backs out of everything all the time. I would stick to something but he never does. I can't afford to pay out to go all the way to Belfast if the chances are he won't even arrive to meet me
He might not be able to afford to travel all the way to London though, so maybe if you both decided to travel half way between Belfast and London, it is fair on both of you?
I find it strange that he backs out. I have dated men with alcohol and drugs problems ( ) but they need to... ahem... make love too, so I would have thought that he would jump at the opportunity to meet you, although I can understand that those type of men are completely unreliable. It's not like he would be scared to show his face, since you've already seen him on camera, so your plans probably just coincided with his benders.
Yes - thats how it probably works I guess (as in coincided with a bender)
I find it strange that he backs out. I have dated men with alcohol and drugs problems ( ) but they need to... ahem... make love too, so I would have thought that he would jump at the opportunity to meet you, although I can understand that those type of men are completely unreliable. It's not like he would be scared to show his face, since you've already seen him on camera, so your plans probably just coincided with his benders.
Surely everyone likes a bit of flirting?
He's in Belfast, the OP is in London, he can get the attention he wants without any commitment or effort.
Sorry OP, he doesn't actually sound that interested, but to be honest, you're better off out of it.
As a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, I can safely say that while I was drinking and doing drugs, I was an arsehole, and he sounds like one too.
Comments
Why didn't you just give up on him then??
A lot of people seem to think that fighting and arguing is a normal part of a relationship, when I really don't think it is.
Well its something that happens in most relationships from time to time. But it shouldn't be happening constantly i agree on that
Just don't take this any further. !if you waste time and money going to meet him he will be drunk and probably abusive and where does that leave you in a strange place? This about yourself and don't even think you can change this loser because you can't. You deserve better.
Its a no brainer what the course of action you should take - just move on
Do you really need advice ?
Oh my gosh! I just looked at it
I assumed before that 'cam4' was more like ChatRoulette... but it's more like Chaturbate
Yes now really can't see how the OP has fallen for a 'performer'(?). Surely this is no different for falling for a stripper in a club? An angry, drunken stripper with no redeeming qualities...
Because we moved on from that to talking on Skype and then on the phone so he became more than just a ''cam4 performer''
And in any case strippers and cam4 performers are still human. He also rarely does anything sexual on cam, just goes on there to talk to people
He goes on a website that caters towards people stripping and having sex on webcam and people watch. Whether he is on webcam himself or as a guest, he is still using the site (as you said). Surely that is a recipe for disaster?
I think you know deep down that this has absolutely no substance and the fact he has a drink problem, still goes on a site like that (where he will be talking to lots of guys) and most likely has other guys on the go. It's best left alone to be honest. You live in London, plenty of better opportunities!
It's easy for people to say "bin him" when they are not the ones in the situation. As someone who is exclusively attracted to men who are terrible for me, I have a lot of sympathy for you.
However, don't be so nice to him. If he acts like an arse and ignores you, do not message him, do not text him, do not call him and if he messages you - take some time before you respond to him. Let him initiate contact. Otherwise you are making it to easy for him and he will lose interest.
I also don't see why it's taking so long for you to meet up. Just arrange something and stick to it.
He backs out of everything all the time. I would stick to something but he never does. I can't afford to pay out to go all the way to Belfast if the chances are he won't even arrive to meet me
He might not be able to afford to travel all the way to London though, so maybe if you both decided to travel half way between Belfast and London, it is fair on both of you?
Yes - thats how it probably works I guess (as in coincided with a bender)
Sad really how powerful a drug alcohol can be.
Alcohol is right up there with Heroin and Cocaine
Surely everyone likes a bit of flirting?
He's in Belfast, the OP is in London, he can get the attention he wants without any commitment or effort.
Sorry OP, he doesn't actually sound that interested, but to be honest, you're better off out of it.
As a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, I can safely say that while I was drinking and doing drugs, I was an arsehole, and he sounds like one too.