How much money would you give for a wedding present?

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  • Jambo_cJambo_c Posts: 4,672
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    I'd give different people different amounts, but I'd only give what I could afford.
    I'd always rather give people money and we asked for money when we got married. Wedding gifts were traditionally for people to set up home but most people are already living together and have household items. Money is appreciated a lot more. You're always going to get people who object but I don't see why. When we got married one person didn't give us money (she's known for being awkward), she bought us a few bits and bobs including a picture frame. She probably spent about £20 but everything she bought was horrible, it was exactly to her tastes but not ours. I don't even know where any of it is now, it's probably under the bed in the spare room. Surely that's a complete waste? I'd have appreciated a single pound coin more than that.
  • SnrDevSnrDev Posts: 6,094
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    The amount doesn't matter, what matters is how much you can afford to give. In this case the £300 is money that this pair can't reasonably afford so it's verging on ridiculous to give away an amount that's such a large part of the household budget.

    I'd have thought £100 is a good amount in your position. It's enough not be seen as a bit cheapskate but not enough to seriously dent your own finances.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 487
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    When my brother got married I gave him £100 as basically I didn't know what to buy him for a wedding present as he had his wife had been living together for some time. I had said that, if he wanted, I would give him money and he said that was very generous of me as he knew that we didn't have a lot of money going spare. He used it on his honeymoon and told me afterwards that he had bought a couple of things which he and his wife had wanted but wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise. He still has them and he says that it reminds him both of me and of his honeymoon.
  • wenchwench Posts: 8,928
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    It should simply be what your partner can afford, if she thinks she can afford £300 then let her be generous.

    Also just wanted to point out, I personally think a wedding (hopefully once in a lifetime event) is far more important than a 5 yr olds birthday, after all birthdays come every year.
  • Xela MXela M Posts: 4,710
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    wench wrote: »
    It should simply be what your partner can afford, if she thinks she can afford £300 then let her be generous.

    Also just wanted to point out, I personally think a wedding (hopefully once in a lifetime event) is far more important than a 5 yr olds birthday, after all birthdays come every year.

    You must not have kids. How can your own child's birthday be less important than some relative's wedding :confused:
  • elliecatelliecat Posts: 9,890
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    We are getting married next year, we are getting money of my parents, his Mum and probably my two brother's and sister. They have all said that as we already live together and don't need anything for the house, money would be more useful that way we can put it towards what we want (in our case a deposit for a bigger house).

    As for how much, you give what you can afford and if your other half wishes to give her brother £300 that's up to her she has obviously thought about and decided that is what she can realistically afford/save.
  • wenchwench Posts: 8,928
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    Xela M wrote: »
    You must not have kids. How can your own child's birthday be less important than some relative's wedding :confused:

    You are correct, I have no children.

    But I still think a once in a lifetime event is more important than a birthday that occurs every year.

    If its about money and whether you spend money for a child's present or a sibling's wedding then I say get a cheap pressie for the child and spend more on the wedding.
  • eluf38eluf38 Posts: 4,874
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    Give what you can afford. At our wedding we had a cheque for £200 from someone who wasn't even able to attend the wedding - but he earns £100,000+ annually, so it was small change to him. My parents' middle class friends and senior members of the family gave about £50, but most of our twenty-something friends and siblings gave £20 - £40, and that includes siblings and first cousins. Younger people, especially those with families, do have different priorities to older people who have no children at home or have paid off their mortgage, and you shouldn't feel pressured to give more to 'keep up appearances'.
    I would have hated to think that people had put themselves into debt for our sakes. If your partner wants to help with the wedding, couldn't she offer her time / services in some way? I was really grateful to a friend who helped by altering the bridemaid's dresses, and was really touched when my sister in law's partner offered to sew a tear in our ring-bearing cushion. (He's in the army and did a much neater job than I could!)
    Likewise, when my sister got married we didn't give them a huge present - but I bought her a bridal handbag to carry her tissues, and likewise she found one in a charity shop which matched my dress exactly for my wedding.
    Instead of a lump sum, perhaps her help and support could be more valuable?
  • mellybumpsmellybumps Posts: 368
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    I would give about £50, especially if you have upcoming costs (MOT and daughter's birthday). My cousin and her fiance asked for cash last year - which TBH I think is pretty rude anyway - and I gave them £30. My other half said I was being tight but we don't have much money at all, we struggle most months, and once we'd bought outfits etc the whole day cost us quite a bit. To me £300 is completely excessive apart from maybe as a gift from the bride or groom's parents or someone who has money to burn!
  • Xela MXela M Posts: 4,710
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    If it were my brother getting married I'd probably give in the region of £300, but I wouldn't get into debt just for a wedding.
  • tellywatcher73tellywatcher73 Posts: 4,181
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    When my nephew got married I gave a gift of £100 which seemed reasonable with all the other costs involved with going to the wedding.
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