Do you feel sympathy for these parents?

24567

Comments

  • springtimeloverspringtimelover Posts: 745
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Jerrica09 wrote: »
    No, I'm not expecting others to agree with me, and I'm questioning whether my opinion is too harsh, but I suppose I'm remembering my experiences as a parent.

    A seven week old isn't a big robust baby, it's a tiny little thing that would look lost on a sofa. I can't even imagine putting a seven week old (and younger) down on the sofa when both parents are there in the same room. It's lovely to have them sleep in your arms, they barely weigh anything.

    Maybe it was that I was a madly over-protective parent, I don't understand the cavalier approach.

    I never had any sympathy for the McCanns either. I just think that when it comes to your kids you don't take any chances.


    Hmmm plenty of babies have died while being held , Good yours did not or you might have found a complete lack of sympathy :rolleyes:
  • Jane Doh!Jane Doh! Posts: 43,307
    Forum Member
    woodbush wrote: »
    It's fairly obvious she was a druggie and probably cared little.

    That's an odd conclusion to reach. The two don't always go hand in hand. Do you think that all addicts care little for their children?

    Yes, of course I have sympathy. They lost a child. They may have been naive but they weren't abusive or neglectful.
  • sutiesutie Posts: 32,645
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Jerrica09 wrote: »
    No, I'm not expecting others to agree with me, and I'm questioning whether my opinion is too harsh, but I suppose I'm remembering my experiences as a parent.

    A seven week old isn't a big robust baby, it's a tiny little thing that would look lost on a sofa. I can't even imagine putting a seven week old (and younger) down on the sofa when both parents are there in the same room. It's lovely to have them sleep in your arms, they barely weigh anything.

    Maybe it was that I was a madly over-protective parent, I don't understand the cavalier approach.

    I never had any sympathy for the McCanns either. I just think that when it comes to your kids you don't take any chances.



    I was desperately over protective with my children too. I do condemn her for drug taking, but I also feel sympathy for her and the McCanns.I simply can't imagine how anyone copes with losing a child.
  • horwichallstarshorwichallstars Posts: 16,514
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    My daughter is 6 now, and slept on the sofa loads of times when she was a baby. At that age they can't roll over, and will pretty much stay where you put them. Seems that the issue here is that the baby was "propped up" - quite how is unclear. I also co-slept with my daughter until she was 7 months old, and she came to no harm.
  • GraathusGraathus Posts: 3,116
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    They did something every parent does without thinking of the tiny risk and were unlucky enough to get caught by it.

    Of course they have my sympathy.
  • 2shy20072shy2007 Posts: 52,576
    Forum Member
    I'm sure my children sparked out on the sofa a million times. And in those days all the advice was to put babies to sleep on their tummies. It is a wonder anyone survived.

    This, I am sure most of us popped baby on the sofa for a snooze at one time or another, my first had to be propped up because he had projectile vomiting .

    When he was young the advice was to put them on their side with a wrapped towel along their backs to stop them rolling on their backs, how times change.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,811
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    There but for the grace of God. My babies slept on sofas countless times. Those poor parents will be tortured by this every day of their lives. My heart goes out to them both.
  • TasiTasi Posts: 1,950
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    We lost our daughter in 2010. We had been her carers for 32 years. I feel sympathy for any parent who has lost a child, for whatever reason.

    It is something one never gets over, and no matter what the cause, I wouldn't wish the grief we have been through on anyone
  • BerBer Posts: 24,562
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Unless her drug taking was in any way responsible for the death of her child then I don't see how its even relevant to the situation and is just a nasty judgmental stick for smug self-satisfied people to beat someone with.
  • AddisonianAddisonian Posts: 16,377
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    The parents made a terrible choice.
    But yes, I do feel sympathy for them. I wouldn't wish the loss of a child on anyone.
    I was going to say however that they should be made to pay for their neglect but I suppose they'll be paying for this for the rest of their lives.
  • kim1994kim1994 Posts: 7,332
    Forum Member
    I also left my babies sleeping on the sofa and I am sure it is not uncommon

    I feel sympathy for them and I cannot understand why someone would not.
  • irishguyirishguy Posts: 22,172
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Addisonian wrote: »
    The parents are clearly not fit to be looking after a dog let alone a baby.
    But yes, I do feel sympathy for them. I wouldn't wish the loss of a child on anyone.
    I was going to say however that they should be made to pay for their neglect but I suppose they'll be paying for this for the rest of their lives.

    Do you not think that if it was a case of neglect rather than a tragic accident the CPS would have charged them and the case gone to trial? But maybe you know something the detectives investigating the case and the coroner don't know....
  • springtimeloverspringtimelover Posts: 745
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Addisonian wrote: »
    The parents made a terrible choice.
    But yes, I do feel sympathy for them. I wouldn't wish the loss of a child on anyone.
    I was going to say however that they should be made to pay for their neglect but I suppose they'll be paying for this for the rest of their lives.

    There is no neglect that I can see? As has been said lots of us let our babies sleep on a sofa.
  • Hobbit FeetHobbit Feet Posts: 18,798
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    I may have misunderstood but they were in the room with the baby.

    No parent would expect their baby to die when they are awake in the same room. This thread has to be up there in the 20 most dire.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 90
    Forum Member
    Yes I have sympathy. I never would have intentionally put my babies down to sleep for the night on the sofa. However, on more than one occasion I have fallen asleep with my baby on the sofa or in my bed. I have also put them down down for a few minutes while I do something, they have fallen asleep so I left them there and took the opportunity to get some jobs done. I think I would be hard pushed to find anybody in my family/friends circle who hasn't done the same.
  • irishguyirishguy Posts: 22,172
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I may have misunderstood but they were in the room with the baby.

    No parent would expect their baby to die when they are awake in the same room. This thread has to be up there in the 20 most dire.


    Agreed - very nasty considering this is an open, public forum
  • AddisonianAddisonian Posts: 16,377
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    There is no neglect that I can see? As has been said lots of us let our babies sleep on a sofa.
    Yes I know that, which is why I corrected myself in my post :confused:
  • Si_CreweSi_Crewe Posts: 40,202
    Forum Member
    Do we actually have any kind of scheme in this country for training up parents?

    Seems like you always hear about social services discovering abused kids and taking them into care etc.
    The thought of that is going to cause almost ANY parent, however inept, to try and hide their shortcomings from the authorities.

    Perhaps if there was a less judgemental face to social services it'd encourage more parents to seek advice and assistance and it'd prevent stuff like this happening?
  • irishguyirishguy Posts: 22,172
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Addisonian wrote: »
    Yes I know that, which is why I corrected myself in my post :confused:

    This statement
    I was going to say however that they should be made to pay for their neglect but I suppose they'll be paying for this for the rest of their lives.

    would lead your average person to believe that you thought there was neglect but the loss of their child is punishment enough to mitigate it.... something very different to the actual facts.
  • Babe RainbowBabe Rainbow Posts: 34,349
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Yes I do sympathise. They made mistakes. Who among us can claim not to have done that ?

    There are probably many many people who settle their baby to sleep on a sofa like that - would never occur to them that it wasn't safe.
  • BanditaBandita Posts: 3,735
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    It beggars belief that people wouldn't feel sympathy for these parents, I'm sure in the dim and distant past when I had my babies they slept on the sofa sometimes. It's no unknown for sure and it doesn't make them bad parents.
  • Hobbit FeetHobbit Feet Posts: 18,798
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Si_Crewe wrote: »
    Do we actually have any kind of scheme in this country for training up parents?

    Seems like you always hear about social services discovering abused kids and taking them into care etc.
    The thought of that is going to cause almost ANY parent, however inept, to try and hide their shortcomings from the authorities.

    Perhaps if there was a less judgemental face to social services it'd encourage more parents to seek advice and assistance and it'd prevent stuff like this happening?

    Why would they need to contact social services? Surely that's what health visitors/community teams are there for.

    The problem with a gap in knowledge is that by it's very nature you aren't aware that you have it, until you find out (in this case very cruelly) by experience.
  • glasshalffullglasshalffull Posts: 22,291
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I don't doubt the responsibility will eventually be laid at the door of a social worker.
  • Si_CreweSi_Crewe Posts: 40,202
    Forum Member
    Why would they need to contact social services? Surely that's what health visitors/community teams are there for.

    The problem with a gap in knowledge is that by it's very nature you aren't aware that you have it, until you find out (in this case very cruelly) by experience.

    I have no clue what the correct title for the relavent authority is. Social Services, community teams, health visitors. Whatever.

    I was just asking if there IS any kind of scheme available for new parents.

    I agree that there's always the issue that you don't know what you don't know, so to speak, but if you're a new mother and you're on valium for post-natal depression and you're having to drink alcohol to get to sleep at 4am then the chances are that you'd be willing to take any kind of advice that was available.

    Course, if there IS such a scheme and people who're in that state still decide not to bother with it then I guess I stand corrected.
  • springtimeloverspringtimelover Posts: 745
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Addisonian wrote: »
    Yes I know that, which is why I corrected myself in my post :confused:


    :confused: your post says however that they should be made to pay for their neglect There was no neglect just bloody unlucky
Sign In or Register to comment.