But some people just aren't sociable, for whatever reason. Why is that seen as sad? Sorry, I don't understand your way of thnking at all. You just come across asinexperienced and narrow minded to me.
:D:D:D
*thinks back to younger days when parties meant the young studs getting females blootered - as it was the only way a woman would ever consider getting amourous with said males.*
No offence, but if you are a recluse= saddo in my book. People who just confine themself to there houses and don't have any friends to go out with get my sympathy. What an horrible, boring & sheltered way to live.
Whilst I would have worded it more tactfully, I find it very difficult to understand why people don't want to spend time in the company of others.
Is it really a choice or has the reclusive lifestyle been thrust upon some of you and it's just preferable to say that it is a choice?
Of course there are times when I just want to be left alone to relax or concentrate on doing something, but I would never choose to spend a lot of time on my own.
I've always been surrounded by friends and family, and have spent my almost all my adult life with a significant other. I can't imagine living my life any other way.
Sometimes you just have to accept that some people have different opinions to yours and calling them a troll - or some varient thereof - doesn't make you right and them wrong.
Whilst I would have worded it more tactfully, I find it very difficult to understand why people don't want to spend time in the company of others.
Is it really a choice or has the reclusive lifestyle been thrust upon some of you and it's just preferable to say that it is a choice?
Of course there are times when I just want to be left alone to relax or concentrate on doing something, but I would never choose to spend a lot of time on my own.
I've always been surrounded by friends and family, and have spent my almost all my adult life with a significant other. I can't imagine living my life any other way.
Good point you've raised there that is in bold.
What is 'normal' and 'natural' for you in your life and how you grew up: the opposite may be 'normal and natural' for others - and similarly they too, may not be able to imagine living their life in any other way.
Everyone is different. Lots of people are very private and it is so much easier to be so since the internet became so commonplace in the home. What may feel like 'being alone' to some - may not feel like that to others - if they are having some interraction via a pc screen.
If anything I think the internet has allowed the 'recluse' to become a more common day type. If people are happy with that themselves, as long as they are happy - more power to them and all that.
Whilst I would have worded it more tactfully, I find it very difficult to understand why people don't want to spend time in the company of others.
Is it really a choice or has the reclusive lifestyle been thrust upon some of you and it's just preferable to say that it is a choice?
Of course there are times when I just want to be left alone to relax or concentrate on doing something, but I would never choose to spend a lot of time on my own.
I've always been surrounded by friends and family, and have spent my almost all my adult life with a significant other. I can't imagine living my life any other way.
Totally agree, I am skeptical by how much a "choice" some of this was if I'm being frank.
I just cannot understand the mentality of someone who wants to spend long period of time by themselves. It just seems so sheltered. I imagine they will have missed out on a lot of fun.
Sometimes you just have to accept that some people have different opinions to yours and calling them a troll - or some varient thereof - doesn't make you right and them wrong.
and when a brand new poster goes out of their way to deliberately continue insulting others, I have that right of opinion.
and when a brand new poster goes out of their way to deliberately continue insulting others, I have that right of opinion.
I accept I was tactless and I apologies for any offence caused, although my opinion of recluses does remain the same. It's not a way of living I would recommend or understand tbh.
But some people just aren't sociable, for whatever reason. Why is that seen as sad? Sorry, I don't understand your way of thnking at all. You just come across as inexperienced and narrow minded to me.
Spot on!
But when people are like that ^ isn't it surprising some of us prefer our own company!
Whilst I would have worded it more tactfully, I find it very difficult to understand why people don't want to spend time in the company of others.
Is it really a choice or has the reclusive lifestyle been thrust upon some of you and it's just preferable to say that it is a choice?
Of course there are times when I just want to be left alone to relax or concentrate on doing something, but I would never choose to spend a lot of time on my own.
I've always been surrounded by friends and family, and have spent my almost all my adult life with a significant other. I can't imagine living my life any other way.
i guess it is what you are used to! I've never been around people, I find many tiring and hard work, draining maybe.
I don't have contact with my family and I have a few very good very close friends, we txt and email and I see them for lunch/coffee occasionally, I love my life - I wouldn't change a thing! I think I am the happiest I have ever been at any time in my life. I can do what I want, when I want and frequently do!
Being around people as you describe, makes me feel trapped, suffocated and would end in a very nasty headache.
I accept I was tactless and I apologies for any offence caused, although my opinion of recluses does remain the same. It's not a way of living I would recommend or understand tbh.
i guess it is what you are used to! I've never been around people, I find many tiring and hard work, draining maybe.
I don't have contact with my family and I have a few very good very close friends, we txt and email and I see them for lunch/coffee occasionally, I love my life - I wouldn't change a thing! I think I am the happiest I have ever been at any time in my life. I can do what I want, when I want and frequently do!
Being around people as you describe, makes me feel trapped, suffocated and would end in a very nasty headache.
This sums up much of how I feel about it too. I can come and go as I please - and I do - with or without others around me as and when I chose.
It's a great life and I love it.
I also have friends who are complete party animals and it just isn't for me. They love it - they love telling everyone about their manic social lives - but I find it all too much, lovely as they all are.
I've always been surrounded by friends and family, and have spent my almost all my adult life with a significant other. I can't imagine living my life any other way.
I think this whole paragraph, but especially the bit in bold, is why some people just can't understand those who don't mind being alone. If all you've ever known is being surrounded by people, it would certainly be very jarring to even imagine living in a different way.
I grew up in a family of older people and was an only child, so although I used to go to other people's houses to play/hang out when I was growing up, and had people over to mine, I also got used to my own company from the word go. As a result, I've never found being alone in any way weird or scary. But I can imagine for someone like you, it would be. And that's okay, as we're all different.
I just wish certain other posters would accept that being a loner or being someone who doesn't go out doesn't automatically make someone sad. Only the most narrow-minded would think it does.
I grew up in a family with three siblings so there wasn't much chance of being alone or even having much privacy at all. The best I could manage was to "disappear" into a book.
My working life, as a psychiatric nurse and then a counsellor, has necessarily involved lots of interaction with people. When I was a student nurse I even had a second job working as a barmaid to get a bit more cash.
When I married and had children I did all the usual things, young wives club, PTA, listening to the children read in school, helping on school trips, as well as working. I can remember longing for some time and space to myself.
Now I'm retired, even though I have my two young grandchildren living with me, I do manage to get time to myself and I love it. The hours that they are at school and after they have gone to bed are very precious
I have a few very good very close friends, we txt and email and I see them for lunch/coffee occasionally, I love my life - I wouldn't change a thing! I think I am the happiest I have ever been at any time in my life. I can do what I want, when I want and frequently do!
This sums up much of how I feel about it too. I can come and go as I please - and I do - with or without others around me as and when I chose.
I live alone, have no real friends as such only work colleagues, I feel uncomfortable in groups and prefer my own company. I have a couple of interests which involve me being part of a crowd but I prefer to be unnoticed really. Never had relationships or friends to speak of. Don't really miss what you've never had I suppose.
I also find that when there is pressure to behave in a certain way that I am not comforable with, I tend to just want to get away from this source of pressure and sit somewhere quiet. However, I really like going out if I'm going to see a decent rock/indie band in concert with people who I know and get on with and in that situation, I don't feel the need to be quiet because I'm actually having *real* fun and am not having to pretend to be someone I'm not in order to fit in. I find socialising *much* easier if I'm with people with whom I have important stuff in common, eg. similar tastes in music (because music is very important to me) or a similar way of viewing life. Spending time with people with whom I have nothing in common is really tiring, so I don't do it unless I have to (eg. for work and occasionally socially).
Things I like doing on my own: songwriting, reading (for pleasure or to learn things), going for walks (there is green space around where I live), daydreaming, thinking (anything from where I would like to go on holiday to questions like: "If no-one trusts politicians from any of the 3 main parties, what would be a good alternative system of government and what would be its advantages and disadvantages?"), internet shopping, watching TV on iPlayer, watching music documentaries, playing musical instruments, going for coffee somewhere and just sitting around watching people and staring into space.
Things I do with other people: going for coffee, going to gigs, cinema and then ice-cream and chat afterwards, going to talks/open lectures (sometimes do that on my own too).
Comments
*thinks back to younger days when parties meant the young studs getting females blootered - as it was the only way a woman would ever consider getting amourous with said males.*
Is it really a choice or has the reclusive lifestyle been thrust upon some of you and it's just preferable to say that it is a choice?
Of course there are times when I just want to be left alone to relax or concentrate on doing something, but I would never choose to spend a lot of time on my own.
I've always been surrounded by friends and family, and have spent my almost all my adult life with a significant other. I can't imagine living my life any other way.
What is 'normal' and 'natural' for you in your life and how you grew up: the opposite may be 'normal and natural' for others - and similarly they too, may not be able to imagine living their life in any other way.
Everyone is different. Lots of people are very private and it is so much easier to be so since the internet became so commonplace in the home. What may feel like 'being alone' to some - may not feel like that to others - if they are having some interraction via a pc screen.
If anything I think the internet has allowed the 'recluse' to become a more common day type. If people are happy with that themselves, as long as they are happy - more power to them and all that.
Totally agree, I am skeptical by how much a "choice" some of this was if I'm being frank.
I just cannot understand the mentality of someone who wants to spend long period of time by themselves. It just seems so sheltered. I imagine they will have missed out on a lot of fun.
I accept I was tactless and I apologies for any offence caused, although my opinion of recluses does remain the same. It's not a way of living I would recommend or understand tbh.
Spot on!
But when people are like that ^ isn't it surprising some of us prefer our own company!
This was pretty much going to be my response!
i guess it is what you are used to! I've never been around people, I find many tiring and hard work, draining maybe.
I don't have contact with my family and I have a few very good very close friends, we txt and email and I see them for lunch/coffee occasionally, I love my life - I wouldn't change a thing! I think I am the happiest I have ever been at any time in my life. I can do what I want, when I want and frequently do!
Being around people as you describe, makes me feel trapped, suffocated and would end in a very nasty headache.
Then you shouldn't. If it's not for you!
:eek:
It's a great life and I love it.
I also have friends who are complete party animals and it just isn't for me. They love it - they love telling everyone about their manic social lives - but I find it all too much, lovely as they all are.
I think this whole paragraph, but especially the bit in bold, is why some people just can't understand those who don't mind being alone. If all you've ever known is being surrounded by people, it would certainly be very jarring to even imagine living in a different way.
I grew up in a family of older people and was an only child, so although I used to go to other people's houses to play/hang out when I was growing up, and had people over to mine, I also got used to my own company from the word go. As a result, I've never found being alone in any way weird or scary. But I can imagine for someone like you, it would be. And that's okay, as we're all different.
I just wish certain other posters would accept that being a loner or being someone who doesn't go out doesn't automatically make someone sad. Only the most narrow-minded would think it does.
My working life, as a psychiatric nurse and then a counsellor, has necessarily involved lots of interaction with people. When I was a student nurse I even had a second job working as a barmaid to get a bit more cash.
When I married and had children I did all the usual things, young wives club, PTA, listening to the children read in school, helping on school trips, as well as working. I can remember longing for some time and space to myself.
Now I'm retired, even though I have my two young grandchildren living with me, I do manage to get time to myself and I love it. The hours that they are at school and after they have gone to bed are very precious
Much the same here.
one wouldn't say:o
http://www.psychologies.co.uk/self/revenge-of-the-introverts/
I never said, 'I want to be alone.' I only said, 'I want to be left alone.' There is all the difference.
Things I like doing on my own: songwriting, reading (for pleasure or to learn things), going for walks (there is green space around where I live), daydreaming, thinking (anything from where I would like to go on holiday to questions like: "If no-one trusts politicians from any of the 3 main parties, what would be a good alternative system of government and what would be its advantages and disadvantages?"), internet shopping, watching TV on iPlayer, watching music documentaries, playing musical instruments, going for coffee somewhere and just sitting around watching people and staring into space.
Things I do with other people: going for coffee, going to gigs, cinema and then ice-cream and chat afterwards, going to talks/open lectures (sometimes do that on my own too).
I never knew that!
Probably the one who said "come up and see me sometime..."....