My rule of thumb to spot a bad film!

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  • GulftasticGulftastic Posts: 127,412
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    If the same person's name appears more than three times in the opening credits.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,538
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    marlman wrote: »
    If Johnny Depp is in it it's gonna be crap.

    If Johnny Depp is in it and Tim Burton directed it it will be double crap.

    Works for me!

    Edward Scissorhands and Ed Wood are brilliant. Also Sweeney Todd.

    Only in recent years has the collaboration really soured.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,538
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    Gulftastic wrote: »
    If the same person's name appears more than three times in the opening credits.

    Are you referring to every film made by, cut by, edited by, directed by, produced by, written by Robert Rodriguez? :)
  • JohnbeeJohnbee Posts: 4,019
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    Blimey Downtonfan, I had forgotten Ed Wood. That is the first one I saw with Johnny Depp when I had never heard of him and I instantly thought that he was a great actor who would be a major star.

    And as for Oscar winners being boring:

    On the Waterfront
    In the Heat of the Night
    The French Connection
    The Godfather
    The Sting
    The Silence of the Lambs
    Unforgiven

    I like Titanic a lot as well. Actually I could have included a very great many more, but I choose those as dead certs.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,316
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    Look no further than the movie's title . .
    That say's it all . . .
  • Slarti BartfastSlarti Bartfast Posts: 6,607
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    Just look for the words "Steven Segal in..." and that gives a clue as to the quality of the movie.

    Also any second sequel that calls itself "Something or other 3D"

    And any title with the word "Ninja" in it.
    Clearly you've never seen this film

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108258

    How can it fail to deliver with a title like Surf Ninjas?
  • Hound of LoveHound of Love Posts: 80,106
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    Remakes.
  • balthasarbalthasar Posts: 2,824
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    1. If the film has more scriptwriters than actors.

    2. The trailer received wild applause at Comic-Con.

    3. It has a kitchen sink title example... Blood Zombie Bikini Babes at the gates of Castle Dracula.

    4. Never mind the plot, Feel the CGI budget.

    5. It is about Sport.

    6. The Director thinks Shaky Cam makes a film more scary.

    7. Damon Lindelof was allowed anywhere near the script.
  • JaiJaiJaiJai Posts: 541
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    "Staring...Adam SANDLER!"
  • kegsiekegsie Posts: 2,800
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    If the film is based on a video game. This for instance will undoubtedly be one of the worst movies of all time

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/23463568
  • CreamteaCreamtea Posts: 14,682
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    ShaunIOW wrote: »
    For me its any film advertised with the tagline "staring XXX from 'insert popular film here'" or "Directed by the director of 'insert popular film name here'"

    Worse is "From the Producer of........" Who gives a sh!t?!
  • GulftasticGulftastic Posts: 127,412
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    Creamtea wrote: »
    Worse is "From the Producer of........" Who gives a sh!t?!

    My favourite is on the 'Battleship' posters:

    'FROM HASBRO THE COMPANY THAT BROUGHT YOU TRANSFORMERS'

    They should have added 'SO YOU'VE ONLY YOURSELF TO BLAME'
  • darkjedimasterdarkjedimaster Posts: 18,621
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    kegsie wrote: »
    If the film is based on a video game. This for instance will undoubtedly be one of the worst movies of all time

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/23463568

    Just be thankful that Uwe Boll hasn't got anything to do with it. There should be a law against that man making films.
  • ErythroleukosErythroleukos Posts: 1,118
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    balthasar wrote: »
    3. It has a kitchen sink title example... Blood Zombie Bikini Babes at the gates of Castle Dracula.

    That sounds absolutely amazing. If I were a film studio I'd give you a billion trillion dollars to get that in the can and hire some actors. Vin Diesel and Paris Hilton for example.
  • MrMarpleMrMarple Posts: 3,437
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    KMKYWAP wrote: »
    LOLWUT

    Probably a stupid question, but what is LOLWUT?
  • Hound of LoveHound of Love Posts: 80,106
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    JaiJai wrote: »
    "Staring...Adam SANDLER!"

    And this!:D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 264
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    That sounds absolutely amazing. If I were a film studio I'd give you a billion trillion dollars to get that in the can and hire some actors. Vin Diesel and Paris Hilton for example.

    I would love to see that. Speaking of crappy films with contrived names, has anyone seen Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus? I saw some of it on Syfy once. What a load of complete and utter tripe! The CGI and special effects were abysmal beyond belief! I also found it very telling how the two lead actors were a pair of has-beens, in the form of Lorenzo Lamas and Deborah Gibson. Now, I'm not putting them down, but surely they must have been hard up to have accepted a role in that tripe?

    I remember another bad film from that same company (The Asylum) called Battle of Los Angeles; a parody of Battle: Los Angeles. I seem to recall this particular movie involving flying saucers and ninjas! :rolleyes:

    Going back to ways to spot a bad movie, lately the presence of any of the Smith family seems to be a good rule; especially with the likes of After Earth, a Will Smith and son extravaganza which has also been said to have connections to Scientology! :eek: Not that that would surprise me, what with Will Smith supposedly being a member of said cult.
  • YuffieYuffie Posts: 9,864
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    ^^^

    Syfy are obsessed with sharks and octopus's (octopie ? )

    A few days ago I heard about sharknado .. check out the trailer on youtube
    Then I heard about Octoshark .... you should really check this trailer out. They're brilliant.

    Haven't had the balls to watch any of them yet !
  • SuperAPJSuperAPJ Posts: 10,402
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    GoshBagosh wrote: »
    I usually agree...but Black Swan was great
    KMKYWAP wrote: »
    LOLWUT
    MrMarple wrote: »
    Probably a stupid question, but what is LOLWUT?

    It's a combination of 'LOL' (Laugh out Loud) and 'What??'. In other words, KMKYWAP is displaying amusement and faux disbelief at GoshBagosh's notion that Black Swan was a great film!
  • treefr0gtreefr0g Posts: 23,655
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    ironjade wrote: »
    The presence of any combination of the following:
    Gerard Butler
    Irish Film Board
    Lottery Funding
    Taylor Lautner
    Owen Wilson
    Vince Vaughan

    That's my trigger, right there.

    A Vince Vaughan movie has almost certainly been filmed in his or Ben Stiller's house on a very tight budget.
  • Finny SkeletaFinny Skeleta Posts: 2,638
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    If the majority of the film's poster is taken up with one word reviews - "Awesome! - Angling Times", "Outstanding - Practical Caravan" - and loads of four and five stars.

    Generally that means a rubbish film with an abnormally high marketing budget.
  • CreamteaCreamtea Posts: 14,682
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    Yuffie wrote: »
    ^^^

    Syfy are obsessed with sharks and octopus's (octopie ? )

    A few days ago I heard about sharknado .. check out the trailer on youtube
    Then I heard about Octoshark .... you should really check this trailer out. They're brilliant.

    Haven't had the balls to watch any of them yet !

    And coming soon... Ghost Shark!!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 169
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    I usually find if the film has been heavily promoted, its going to be rubbish.
    Some films do the talking for themselves:D
  • cazzzcazzz Posts: 12,218
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    another for Vince Vaughan, Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston (always plays Rachel from Friends)
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