New job - feel terrible?
I have a new job in a school but while usually I'm fine talking to people, I'm struggling to adjust.
There is around 4-5 of us in the office. I just struggle making any conversation and when they talk to me I try my best to reply. It just often silent. I even feel awkward eating in there. They've offered coffees and stated they'll enroll me in an office 'cake bake', but I don't want to look like a miserable ass and say no. Their jokes amongst themselves leave something to be desired, and I seem to have little in common with them.
Walking around is fine (other than getting lost), but it's often daunting seeing new faces and knowing what to say. It was my second day today.
Any advice? Meeting and making friends?
There is around 4-5 of us in the office. I just struggle making any conversation and when they talk to me I try my best to reply. It just often silent. I even feel awkward eating in there. They've offered coffees and stated they'll enroll me in an office 'cake bake', but I don't want to look like a miserable ass and say no. Their jokes amongst themselves leave something to be desired, and I seem to have little in common with them.
Walking around is fine (other than getting lost), but it's often daunting seeing new faces and knowing what to say. It was my second day today.
Any advice? Meeting and making friends?
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You don't want to be excluded until you know who you want to be excluded from... Introduce yourself to everyone and smile and be enthusiastic lots. It will get easier.
It's not that I refuse them bluntly. I politely say no. I prefer water anyway (I have my own). I just feel awkward. Another issue being, I can't currently walk freely around the place. I don't know where anything is. Hopefully it will get better. Surprisingly, unlike my last school everyone is friendlier and more 'full on'. Strange that from school to school there is such a different atmosphere. Anyway, I don't have much to do so it's boredom as well (until my workload increases). Basically, tomorrow I have a meeting where I meet staff from other departments.
I should note I am 16. Only 3 weeks ago I was in school myself. Now I'm working in one.
Anyway, thanks all for the advice (smiling etc.)
Oops sorry didn't realize you were so young. Sorry I didn't mean to sound patronizing. You seemed older in your post. Think I should just shut up.
No problem
Thanks for the advice. I also don't want to be treated like a child by other staff members I suppose.
You sound older and wiser than your years from your post and you are lucky that your workmates sound welcoming. I think the thing to do is just relax and be yourself. I'm sure they'll appreciate you are new, younger and its your first job. We've all been there.
Maybe join in the cake bake to show willing.........you can always buy a packet mix and cheat - that's what I'd do
Good luck!
It's lovely to hear of a young school leaver being given a chance and which will eventually help you to gain experience and more confidence.:-D
You'll get used to the age thing too. I'm a little older at 22 but I'm still the baby compared to everyone else. You think at first you have nothing in common but after a while I found it easier and easier to have conversations with them. Just start off with stuff like how was your weekend, got any plans tonight, did you watch blah blah on the telly last night. These people aren't going to be your best friends but unless they're total a-holes I'm sure you can have a good work relationship with them
I think you will find that what you are going through is perfectly normal and rest assured it will get easier and by the way, congratulations on securing a job straight from school, that is an acheivement in itself in this day and age.
Your colleagues are offering you coffee & cake to include you in their group and get to know you, it would be nice to accept if you can stomach tea/coffee at all! You'll soon get to know them all better, then you (& they) will be more relaxed and the banter will flow. Good luck.
Why not offer to make the coffee? And try to ask questions, even if it's just 'Did you have a nice weekend?' You don't have to talk about yourself if you ask questions, and it makes you seem more outgoing.
Don't worry, within a few weeks you'll feel like part of the furniture.
Well done on getting on the employment ladder.
Admin Assistant, IT support...
Here’s a little tip that may help you integrate a bit quicker.
You’ve obviously met quite a few new people who work in the office and I guess lots of other colleagues pop-in and out.
Remembering the names of all the people you encounter can be very difficult.
Make a small discreet note of the names/job titles of all the people in the office, and on-going as you meet other colleagues; refer to it as necessary.
It builds instant empathy when you are able to address colleagues with their ‘name’.......rather than just, “er......excuse me”. ;-)
I would suggest, OP, instead of politely declining, say something like "I'd love to, but I really can't tolerate caffeine, it makes me all jumpy" or something similar,and that will be more "open", it will lead into a conversation as they come back with something similar ... "Oh ,yes, I'm like that, I can't drink tea in the afternoon" and conversation opens up and you start to make friends.
People can get very touchy about refused offerings. I'll give you a story to illustrate this.
When I was about 16, my dad got me a quick job helping his workmate, who was building his own conservatory. He dug the foundations in the evening, and I turned up while he was at work to shovel the soil into a skip. On the first day, his neighbours popped their heads over the fence, offering tea, (they were of course, nosing about as to what he was doing). I never drink tea so I politely refused, they offered coffee, I had my own cold drinks so again, politely refused, but they kept on, like Mrs Doyle in Father Ted. Eventually they got the hump and said "We're not trying to POISON you" and flounced off.
By the time I got home, my Dad was furious with me. His mate had phoned as the neighbours had been round to tell him how rude and obnoxious I was to them. Never underestimate the power of tea.
For me I find often that new environments can seem unsettling but once I'm used to it, it gets easier.
Do you hate tea / coffee? If so, could you take in some fruit tea or similar that you do like - some are really nice - and offer to make or get the tea and coffee then you're participating.
If you've not got much to do, can you help anyone with their workload? I'm not one who recommends that the newbie should do all the dross but if you haven't got much to do yet, even doing the photocopying for someone will be a help to them.
Being new can be difficult of course, but it can also be a really easy way to start conversations - or participate in them because you keep playing the I'm new, could you tell me about / explain X..? card. You don't have to pretend to be more knowledgeable than you are. ;-) If there seems to be an in joke, you can say something like "there sounds like there's a story there" which will encourage them to explain and you to feel included.
Don't worry about not knowing anything much in your first week - or even your first month. Ask lots of questions, keep notes and revisit the notes to ensure you're remembering stuff, doing it right and on the right track.
You'll be fine and they sound very nice people but don't expect to feel like you're settled this quickly. It'll come, relax, work hard, participate lots and enjoy yourself. You may have left school but you've not stopped learning - really, you've only just started! Good luck with your career.
My old college teacher used to do this to remember the names of all us students - we caught a glimpse of his list one day it said things like:-
lozenger - pink hair, gobby,
Binny - lanky, spotty guy
Julie - short, fat, glasses
etc...
You'll be fine OP, if anything the others will probably want to mother you - let em. You'll find things to talk about once you get to know them and in a couple of weeks you will wonder what on earth you were worried about.
I'd agree with that and any new job for anyone of any age can initially be a bit upsetting because there are new people and routines to get to know. The good points here are that this appears to be a reasonable place to work and give it a few weeks and you'll probably feel much more comfortable. Good luck!
PS These links here might be of use: https://www.google.co.uk/?gws_rd=ssl#q=shyness+hints+and+tips