When I was at university, during the second year we had a big influx of students from Singapore.
They were great people and regularly, a good mate of mine and myself would arrange course piss ups to cement relations between the 'new' entrants and the 'old hands'
A lot of the Singapore students would come out, but it only tended to be me and my mates that showed.
No matter we had a great time, the highlight on one occasion being seeing the thinest, teeniest Singaporian girl down a pint of Guinness, much to the vast respect of my mates who couldn't drink the stuff.
On one event, we came round with conkers and string and taught them about conkers competitions, and when we had snow we started an Anglo/Singapore snowball war:D they had never seen snow and loved it.
After waffle now to my point, myself and my mates always referred to them as the 'chinks'
I am sure there is now a deep intake of breath from readers, but there was no casual racism meant, it was sort of like a collective nickname. We would say to them, "beers tonight chinks, be there or else" They called us the "white drunks".
It came about because calling them the 'Singaporeans' did not slip off the tongue.
Not one of them took offence and a couple of my mates are still in contact with one or two of them.
But the OH, during one of our glass of wine, kitchen chats was a bit shocked that we used that term.
My defense was that we genuinely liked these fellow students, and they liked us.
With that you can bend the rules a bit, banter between friends; be it origin, sexual orientation or whatever is part of being mates, the piss take culture if you like, and I see nothing wrong with that.
Equally I would never say to the wife I am going to the '**** Shop for some wine (our little village store, owned by an Asian family) because the context is totally different, I don't know them, they don't know me, they deserve due respect and courtesy.
Just as a matter of interest, what should you call people from Singapore ?
If I'd heard "Singaporeans" I'd just have assumed it was the correct term
Incidentally, just as a twist on the "p*** shop thing. A colleague of mine at work is Indian, and his Father owns a small grocery type store. They can't stand being called the "p***" shop, not because they have any problem with the term, but because they are not Pakistani, and there is a bit of a rivalry, verging on some bad feeling between India and Pakistan. He doesn't have anything againt individual people from Pakistan, but just doesn't like the country.
I once worked with a mixed race guy and he insisted on being called half-cast. Odd, I know, but nonetheless, it was his ethnicity and his right to call himself whatever he wanted, however uneducated or un-PC it sounded. Fair play, I thought.
Now, calling yourself normal is nothing to worry about, providing the context of your comment is explained. If you called gay people abnormal, however, that would be wrong - it just conveys too much negativity.
For me, normal sex implies what the majority partake in, i.e. straight sex. In real terms though, there is no such thing as normal - we're all individuals with individual wants and needs.
I think whether someone finds something offensive depends on the context, your relationship with them etc. And that includes all sexual orientations, colours or creeds.
One of my black friends always phones and shouts "Hey up ma ****!!" down the phone to me, and I am white :eek:
Once our regular postman was off for a while, in his place we had an Asian guy taking over. He came to my gate and my dog started barking her head off (she always does), I went out to see what the commotion was to find him standing at the other side of the gate with my mail. He said "I don't think your dog likes p**is" and laughed. :eek:
My mothers told me a story when I was a wee nipper. We were round visiting some army friends when we were in Germany. I was about 5 or 6 and sitting on the husbands knee, who was a black guy in my dad's regiment I asked him "If you are brown all over why is the front of your hands pink?" He told me that the soles of his feet are pink too. I asked why that was when he was brown and he replied "That's where God put me up against a wall and spray painted me!" :D
I was stood waiting at a tube station once and a woman wearing the same coat as me walked past with her (I assume) elderly parents.
Her dad turned to her and said in a much louder voice than I'm sure he realised "Look that girl has the same coat as you, It looks much better on you lovie"
I'm not sure who was more embarrassed! To be fair the girl looked absolutely mortified!
I dropped a clanger recently. I'm the most non homophobic person ever, I was chatting to my lesbian friend about how the law is a pain for gay couples etc and I said 'It's ridiculous isn't it? It shouldn't make any difference if you are a gay couple or a normal couple.'
I nearly died on the spot. Luckily she knew there was no ill intention there but I did apologise for a good 10 minutes!!
I've analysed the thread and I feel the OP is so overly conscious about acting PC that this so called faux pas was merely him showing his true colours as a homophobe.
When I was 16 (in 1977) I remember having discussions where I thought it bizarre that women should assume their husband's surname after marriage. A pretty minority view then.
I'm militant anti-racist. So much so, that my family say things like "Don't say that in front of <name withheld> as he'll go on and on about it". Implying that they say such things when I'm not there.
When I was 14 I remember being mischievous with all my friends and one of our friends was the single black boy in the village. After we did our deed, I shouted, "Let's run like a n****r". As soon as I said it I felt awful. My only defence was that it was a common phrase at the time.
I'm pro gay. I lived in Brighton for 12 years and often went to gay bars for a drink as they were the closest bars to my flat. Some of my friends refused to go. I found it funny that they automatically assumed that they would be hit upon just because it was a gay bar. On the very infrequent occasions that anyone approached me, I just said I wasn't gay.
So, a few days ago, I had to answer questions to fill in a form. The woman asking the questions insisted on asking each question followed by all options. She was droning on and on and I was getting bored.
She asked what is my sexuality, then started reading out the options. Before she got too far, I blurted out 'Normal'.
As soon as the second syllable left my mouth I was shocked that I had said such a thing.
It was totally against everything I believe.
I immediately said, "I can't believe I said that".
She told me not to worry about it.
For the next 30 minutes I was in that room and said "I can't believe I said that" three times.
Why would I, who am pretty PC, reply with something that is so out of the ordinary (for me)? I admit that I was bored and frustrated at the person asking the questions, but that is no excuse.
Which are you referring to as Crass?
What she said when writing about what she said or what she actually said.
I don't think anything was crass as she never meant anything offensive by it,
If someone happens to be gay, within the context of a group of mates taking the piss, or making reference to it is fair game, just as if another member is a fatty, ginger, black or whatever.
That is part of being mates, we take the piss, because we have the earned the right through personal connection.
I would bet, that if the same gay/fat/ginger/black person was hassled by randoms, his or her mates would pile in.
Regarding sexuality specifically, being hetrosexual is regarded as the norm, purely because most of us are.
Normal, definition: conforming to a standard.
Doesn't infer any special rights is just a definition, if people want to read more into it and form their own distorted views then that is their issue not the users of the word:)
OP, I sometimes think our generation created political correctness but by the same token, we've been around it so long it can piss us off the most, too. If that makes sense.
I say crass and ridiculous things constantly. People kind of expect it of me. The one I am never allowed to forget - because I don't eat meat - is one day my mate (who at that point lived in the US so was used to driving on the wrong side of the road, and was over with a hire car, visiting), was driving us down a country lane, when this pheasant ambled right in front of us. Scared my (PC also veggie) mate was about to swerve dangerously to avoid it, I screamed "Kill the fecker! Kill it!" No-one ever lets me forget that incident.
I said to my niece once to stand up and let the lady sit down on the bus. My niece said in an arsey way "Why have I got to stand". I explained it's the decent thing to do to offer your seat to an elderly person or pregnant woman or anyone generally more needy than yourself.
Woman glared as she sat down and to ease the situation I said when are you due.
My Mum's friend's brother is completely blind, has been since birth, and she is always dropping clangers in his company.
She'll say things like "oh you should have seen it..." or "you'll have to come over and have a look..." or "I didn't like the colour, I would've preferred red..."
The best part is she'll realise what she said, then go "oh I'm sorry, that was so insensitive,. I didn't mean it like that!" and get all flustered and embarrassed. Luckily for her, he finds the whole thing hilarious.
I was doing security training when I worked for DHL, and, during a group session, I saw a guy walk past. Huge guy, shades, suit, big scary-looking dog, etc. I went "Has that guy just seen Men In Black or something?" and the trainer gave me this disgusted look and went "That's Tony. He's blind."
I then had to sit through a further two hours of training with people glowering at me, obviously thinking that I was some dick who spends her days making fun of the disabled. Oops.
Comments
You're a decent person who has been made to feel bad about their use of language by people who need to get over themselves.
Just as a matter of interest, what should you call people from Singapore ?
If I'd heard "Singaporeans" I'd just have assumed it was the correct term
Incidentally, just as a twist on the "p*** shop thing. A colleague of mine at work is Indian, and his Father owns a small grocery type store. They can't stand being called the "p***" shop, not because they have any problem with the term, but because they are not Pakistani, and there is a bit of a rivalry, verging on some bad feeling between India and Pakistan. He doesn't have anything againt individual people from Pakistan, but just doesn't like the country.
I once worked with a mixed race guy and he insisted on being called half-cast. Odd, I know, but nonetheless, it was his ethnicity and his right to call himself whatever he wanted, however uneducated or un-PC it sounded. Fair play, I thought.
Now, calling yourself normal is nothing to worry about, providing the context of your comment is explained. If you called gay people abnormal, however, that would be wrong - it just conveys too much negativity.
For me, normal sex implies what the majority partake in, i.e. straight sex. In real terms though, there is no such thing as normal - we're all individuals with individual wants and needs.
One of my black friends always phones and shouts "Hey up ma ****!!" down the phone to me, and I am white :eek:
Once our regular postman was off for a while, in his place we had an Asian guy taking over. He came to my gate and my dog started barking her head off (she always does), I went out to see what the commotion was to find him standing at the other side of the gate with my mail. He said "I don't think your dog likes p**is" and laughed. :eek:
My mothers told me a story when I was a wee nipper. We were round visiting some army friends when we were in Germany. I was about 5 or 6 and sitting on the husbands knee, who was a black guy in my dad's regiment I asked him "If you are brown all over why is the front of your hands pink?" He told me that the soles of his feet are pink too. I asked why that was when he was brown and he replied "That's where God put me up against a wall and spray painted me!"
Her dad turned to her and said in a much louder voice than I'm sure he realised "Look that girl has the same coat as you, It looks much better on you lovie"
I'm not sure who was more embarrassed! To be fair the girl looked absolutely mortified!
I nearly died on the spot. Luckily she knew there was no ill intention there but I did apologise for a good 10 minutes!!
Which are you referring to as Crass?
What she said when writing about what she said or what she actually said.
I don't think anything was crass as she never meant anything offensive by it,
If someone happens to be gay, within the context of a group of mates taking the piss, or making reference to it is fair game, just as if another member is a fatty, ginger, black or whatever.
That is part of being mates, we take the piss, because we have the earned the right through personal connection.
I would bet, that if the same gay/fat/ginger/black person was hassled by randoms, his or her mates would pile in.
Regarding sexuality specifically, being hetrosexual is regarded as the norm, purely because most of us are.
Normal, definition: conforming to a standard.
Doesn't infer any special rights is just a definition, if people want to read more into it and form their own distorted views then that is their issue not the users of the word:)
I say crass and ridiculous things constantly. People kind of expect it of me. The one I am never allowed to forget - because I don't eat meat - is one day my mate (who at that point lived in the US so was used to driving on the wrong side of the road, and was over with a hire car, visiting), was driving us down a country lane, when this pheasant ambled right in front of us. Scared my (PC also veggie) mate was about to swerve dangerously to avoid it, I screamed "Kill the fecker! Kill it!" No-one ever lets me forget that incident.
Woman glared as she sat down and to ease the situation I said when are you due.
She replied "I'm not pregnant I'm just fat!"
Deafening silence followed.
She'll say things like "oh you should have seen it..." or "you'll have to come over and have a look..." or "I didn't like the colour, I would've preferred red..."
The best part is she'll realise what she said, then go "oh I'm sorry, that was so insensitive,. I didn't mean it like that!" and get all flustered and embarrassed. Luckily for her, he finds the whole thing hilarious.
I then had to sit through a further two hours of training with people glowering at me, obviously thinking that I was some dick who spends her days making fun of the disabled. Oops.