If I am being honest a penis makes a man look untidy :rolleyes:
What do the rolleyes mean? That men are slackers for not going off and getting bits lopped off for tidiness's sake? Or was the smiley directed at yourself for having such an opinion?
Since i hit 30, i've been getting MORE turned on, post orgasm. I've had no complaints since this discovery. Except that one time, very late at night, when i kept things going a bit too long.
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have £9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly £1000 an inch."
The man perks up.
"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor...
"We're getting granite counter tops for the kitchen."
Going for a slash, thinking you're finished, give it a shake, put it back in your pants and then without warning, a tiny bit of wee drops out.
The Viz Profanisaurus describes it as a "WET HURST"
noun: A "Wolstenholme". The final bit of piss which waits until the cock is safely back in the trousers before dribbling out causing a "wet penny in the pocket". From the commentary describing Geoff Hurst's final goal in the 1966 World Cup Final. "They think it's all over....it is now".
Comments
...It won't feel untidy when it's penetrating your cavern like a raging demonic purple-headed meat-spear.
Speaking as a woman, it's no joy for us if it pops out and bangs against the bit between our two orifices!
What's that, then - "not been used in years"?
What do the rolleyes mean? That men are slackers for not going off and getting bits lopped off for tidiness's sake? Or was the smiley directed at yourself for having such an opinion?
Oh no it isn't!
Haven't you ever tried 'keeping going'?
I find that just hurts?!
Since i hit 30, i've been getting MORE turned on, post orgasm. I've had no complaints since this discovery. Except that one time, very late at night, when i kept things going a bit too long.
No. It's when you have a 3-1/2" floppy.
LOL!!!
Superb...
Shouldn't do
That is a phallusy.
I never use my peepee to read threads.
I always use my eyes.
The Viz Profanisaurus describes it as a "WET HURST"
noun: A "Wolstenholme". The final bit of piss which waits until the cock is safely back in the trousers before dribbling out causing a "wet penny in the pocket". From the commentary describing Geoff Hurst's final goal in the 1966 World Cup Final. "They think it's all over....it is now".
Meaning I belong to the half of the population that is expected to do all the dangerous / outdoor / grafting jobs and die earlier as a result.:eek:
That depends on whether you're a Cavalier or a Roundhead, Being a Roundhead i've never had that problem
Most other useful stuff that I have is duplicated (arms eyes etc) and that seems to work well.