Hotels and other Guests, advice needed.

[Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24,724
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I am staying in a hotel and feeling awkward about a couple of issues

When someone is alone with a laptop, do you leave them alone or chat to them as they are away from home and might be lonely or could be working but they could do that in their room. It is not a chat up, just me being my natural friendly self and like to be welcoming to people away from home in my home town.

Same goes in a health club in a jacuzzi/steam room. People swimming are just getting on with it, so is quite solitary.

Where I feel awkward, is that I worry about being snubbed if I talk to them but feel rude if I don't. I am happy to leave them alone but wonder if other people feel this as well?
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  • JulesFJulesF Posts: 6,461
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    Cstar2229 wrote: »
    I am staying in a hotel and feeling awkward about a couple of issues

    When someone is alone with a laptop, do you leave them alone or chat to them as they are away from home and might be lonely or could be working but they could do that in their room. It is not a chat up, just me being my natural friendly self and like to be welcoming to people away from home in my home town.

    Same goes in a health club in a jacuzzi/steam room. People swimming are just getting on with it, so is quite solitary.

    Where I feel awkward, is that I worry about being snubbed if I talk to them but feel rude if I don't. I am happy to leave them alone but wonder if other people feel this as well?

    I would definitely leave someone on a laptop alone. Actually, I would probably not approach someone in a jacuzzi or steam room either, as a lot of people use that kind of thing as a way to wind down and relax without interruptions, but there's no harm in trying to start a conversation, I suppose. It's usually pretty easy to tell if someone doesn't want to chat to you.

    There's nothing rude about simply giving people a friendly smile and leaving it at that, though.
  • wenchwench Posts: 8,928
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    Possibly there is no internet in the rooms and hence why they have their laptop in the reception area, so that doesn't necessarily mean they are lonely.
  • Bex_123Bex_123 Posts: 10,783
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    I'm quite a friendly person and will talk to anyone quite easily, but I wouldn't talk to someone on a laptop or swimming.

    I quite often talk to people in queues :) You can usually get an impression whether someone is the same type of chatty person or prefers to be left alone.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,835
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    Having some random person come up to me and start talking is my idea of hell.
  • TeddybleadsTeddybleads Posts: 6,814
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    Cstar2229 wrote: »
    I am staying in a hotel and feeling awkward about a couple of issues

    When someone is alone with a laptop, do you leave them alone or chat to them as they are away from home and might be lonely or could be working but they could do that in their room. It is not a chat up, just me being my natural friendly self and like to be welcoming to people away from home in my home town.

    Same goes in a health club in a jacuzzi/steam room. People swimming are just getting on with it, so is quite solitary.

    Where I feel awkward, is that I worry about being snubbed if I talk to them but feel rude if I don't. I am happy to leave them alone but wonder if other people feel this as well?

    Funnily enough, this happened to us on holiday recently. Mrs. Bleads spots this lad typing away and staring intently at the screen and told me to go over and ask him to join us for a drink.

    So over I trot and make polite chit chat along the lines of
    -sorry to disturb of your busy working- only to notice the laptop wasn't even switched on which stopped me in my tracks and ended with him mumbling embarrassingly about his battery dying and making a swift exit.

    He spent the next three days choosing to be exactly where we weren't at all available opportunities.
  • Hugh_Hugh_ Posts: 951
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    Great yeah, you get away from it all for a bit in a sauna or sit in a hotel lobby having a coffee and doing some work when some socially inept plonker decides to they need to randomly accost you.

    Learn to respect the space others deserve.
  • Hugh_Hugh_ Posts: 951
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    Funnily enough, this happened to us on holiday recently. Mrs. Bleads spots this lad typing away and staring intently at the screen and told me to go over and ask him to join us for a drink.

    Oh you're part of the "Lifestyle" hey ;);):o
  • jsmith99jsmith99 Posts: 20,382
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    Cstar2229 wrote: »
    I am staying in a hotel and feeling awkward about a couple of issues

    When someone is alone with a laptop, do you leave them alone or chat to them as they are away from home and might be lonely or could be working but they could do that in their room. ............

    They may not have wi-fi in their room. However, I'd assume that anyone on a laptop doesn't want to be disturbed. Who knows what solitary pleasure you might be interrupting.

    By the way, why are you staying in a hotel in your home town?
  • TeddybleadsTeddybleads Posts: 6,814
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    Hugh_ wrote: »
    Oh you're part of the "Lifestyle" hey ;);):o

    I'm afraid I don't appreciate that comment at all.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24,724
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    thedrewser wrote: »
    Having some random person come up to me and start talking is my idea of hell.
    Hugh_ wrote: »
    Great yeah, you get away from it all for a bit in a sauna or sit in a hotel lobby having a coffee and doing some work when some socially inept plonker decides to they need to randomly accost you.

    Learn to respect the space others deserve.

    I imagine your body language would give that impression and I would certainly not intrude but I do know what you mean about people who invade your space.

    The matter came up as I do wonder how many people are feeling lonely and do want someone to talk to them?
  • LostFoolLostFool Posts: 90,623
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    Not everyone on their own is lonely. Some prefer it that way and don't appreciate busybodies interfering in their peace and quiet.

    I travel alone a lot for work. If I'm in a corner with a laptop it's a sign I want to be left alone. If I sitting at the bar then I don't mind some human interaction.
  • JulesFJulesF Posts: 6,461
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    I'm afraid I don't appreciate that comment at all.

    It's a bit weird though. If I was obviously busy doing something and a couple approached me to have a drink with them, it would be the first thing that crossed my mind.

    There's a fine line between being friendly and invading someone's personal space or disrupting their personal time.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24,724
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    jsmith99 wrote: »
    They may not have wi-fi in their room. However, I'd assume that anyone on a laptop doesn't want to be disturbed. Who knows what solitary pleasure you might be interrupting.

    By the way, why are you staying in a hotel in your home town?

    Been driven out of my home due to very loud building work around me.

    I work from home and get no peace during the day.

    I have been out to town, out for the day, visited and stayed with people, and have some bolt holes but it gets tiring and feel I'm imposing after a while, so checked into a hotel for a pamper. The weather has been Baltic or wet as as well, so rather stay in some days!

    It has been going on for 5 weeks and no end in sight :(

    I can't go away as my mother is having an operation any day, just waiting for the go ahead (good old NHS).

    Luckily I live in a tourist town and surrounded by hotels where I live. Been a regular on Trip Advisor for reviews and giving mine.
  • modeyinkmodeyink Posts: 2,251
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    jsmith99 wrote: »
    By the way, why are you staying in a hotel in your home town?

    Yeah, this. I can only assume you're visiting your home town yourself, but if it's your home town then surely you have friends/family to stay with?

    Hm.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 735
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    Cstar2229 wrote: »
    I am staying in a hotel and feeling awkward about a couple of issues

    When someone is alone with a laptop, do you leave them alone or chat to them as they are away from home and might be lonely or could be working but they could do that in their room. It is not a chat up, just me being my natural friendly self and like to be welcoming to people away from home in my home town.

    Same goes in a health club in a jacuzzi/steam room. People swimming are just getting on with it, so is quite solitary.

    Where I feel awkward, is that I worry about being snubbed if I talk to them but feel rude if I don't. I am happy to leave them alone but wonder if other people feel this as well?

    In any of those situations, you would not appear to be rude by not talking to someone.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 735
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    If I was sitting relaxing in a hotel or busy typing away on my laptop and a stranger randomly came over to me to check I wasn't lonely, I'll be honest, I'd find that a bit weird.

    As someone else said, it'd be different if I was sitting at a bar on my own. But sitting in the hotel lobby on my own? There could be ANY number of reasons for that.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24,724
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    LostFool wrote: »
    Not everyone on their own is lonely. Some prefer it that way and don't appreciate busybodies interfering in their peace and quiet.

    I travel alone a lot for work. If I'm in a corder with a laptop it's a sign I want to be left alone. If I sitting at the bar then I don't mind some human interaction.

    Thank you - it seems the general consensus is laptop = back off!

    I am not a busybody, I'm simply someone who is naturally friendly and don't want to invade people's space which is why I asked the question.

    The ones who don't care and barge in wouldn't be asking the question.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24,724
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    modeyink wrote: »
    Yeah, this. I can only assume you're visiting your home town yourself, but if it's your home town then surely you have friends/family to stay with?

    Hm.

    I have but after 5 weeks ... with many more to go.... plus most people I know are out during the day.

    Most of my family is dotted around the UK.
  • butterworthbutterworth Posts: 17,872
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    Leave them well alone....

    If I was in a hotel bar or jacuzzi, and someone came up and started talking to me, the only possible conclusion I, or anyone, would reach is that it was a prelude to some sexytime....
  • LostFoolLostFool Posts: 90,623
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    wombat18 wrote: »
    If I was sitting relaxing in a hotel or busy typing away on my laptop and a stranger randomly came over to me to check I wasn't lonely, I'll be honest, I'd find that a bit weird.

    I suppose it depends on whether the stranger was a member of the opposite sex and how attractive they were. ;)

    Although in some hotels you have to be very careful when approached by attractive ladies...
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24,724
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    wombat18 wrote: »
    In any of those situations, you would not appear to be rude by not talking to someone.

    Thank you - I feel less awkward and will leave them to it.

    Which is exactly what I want to do as I am trying to get away from it all too!
  • butterworthbutterworth Posts: 17,872
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    Funnily enough, this happened to us on holiday recently. Mrs. Bleads spots this lad typing away and staring intently at the screen and told me to go over and ask him to join us for a drink.

    If you were at a hotel, and spotted a young girl somewhere, and then asked your wife to go and ask them to join you, what do you think she'd say ? Do you think she'd applaud your friendly nature ?
  • TeddybleadsTeddybleads Posts: 6,814
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    JulesF wrote: »
    It's a bit weird though. If I was obviously busy doing something and a couple approached me to have a drink with them, it would be the first thing that crossed my mind.

    There's a fine line between being friendly and invading someone's personal space or disrupting their personal time.

    The whole point is that he wasn't doing anything except trying to look busy.

    It's not like we pounced on him at first sight. He had been in the shuttle but with us from the airport and we'd exchanged pleasantries most days.

    It would be a sad world if every gesture of congeniality was seen as a prelude to sexual propositions.
  • TeddybleadsTeddybleads Posts: 6,814
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    johnny_t wrote: »
    If you were at a hotel, and spotted a young girl somewhere, and then asked your wife to go and ask them to join you, what do you think she'd say ? Do you think she'd applaud your friendly nature ?

    Yes, I would hope so.
  • iCandy77iCandy77 Posts: 1,457
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    johnny_t wrote: »
    Leave them well alone....

    If I was in a hotel bar or jacuzzi, and someone came up and started talking to me, the only possible conclusion I, or anyone, would reach is that it was a prelude to some sexytime....

    Or that they were a nutter! :D
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