Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)

1117118120122123471

Comments

  • puffin1962puffin1962 Posts: 434
    Forum Member
    Badcat wrote: »
    (and WHAT curry takes 3 hours to make??!! I make curries all the time and the only one that took THAT long was a homemade dhanask which I had to soak 3 types of ruddy lentils and crush some bloody bark and whole spices with a pestle and mortar until my arms fell off. And I didn't complain about it ALL day... was ruddy lovely mind, Mr BC had thirds)

    Perhaps it's something to do with the fact that she often claims to have had her kitchen ripped out ;-);-) Must be quite hard doing curry on the camping stove - or perhaps she is including her (unusually long) driving times to get a takeaway :D
  • puffin1962puffin1962 Posts: 434
    Forum Member
    What is the rubbish she wrote about people not having parties 50 years ago? I grew up in the 1960s Essex like Liz and parties were very common - the old fashioned sort att home with balloons, sandwiches, jelly and cake with party games. My "party-dresses" were always homemade (which would probably have cost Liz 20 years in therapy). I'm not sure why Liz would not have gone to these - either she had no friends or it is one of her memory lapses - like most of the Dreary ;-)

    When I got a little older the traditional party gave way to the "birthday treat" where a few friends were invited to the cinema, bowling or swimming etc
  • Suzy_CatSuzy_Cat Posts: 1,368
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    puffin1962 wrote: »
    What is the rubbish she wrote about people not having parties 50 years ago? I grew up in the 1960s Essex like Liz and parties were very common - the old fashioned sort att home with balloons, sandwiches, jelly and cake with party games. My "party-dresses" were always homemade (which would probably have cost Liz 20 years in therapy). I'm not sure why Liz would not have gone to these - either she had no friends or it is one of her memory lapses - like most of the Dreary ;-)

    When I got a little older the traditional party gave way to the "birthday treat" where a few friends were invited to the cinema, bowling or swimming etc

    Threadbare!Jophurs!Liz is all a bit Tammy, isn't it. I'm convinced she has mixed up her real experiences with ones she saw in photo love spreads, mixed with a healthy dose of Bella at the Bar except with no actual aptitude for anything..
  • PorcupinePorcupine Posts: 25,231
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I saw the engagement photos of her and David - and I immediately took a liking to him (I know that's daft from a photo) but he looked fun and kind.

    I really hope he does leave the 'she devil'. He can do sooooo much better. A life being belittled and downtrodden is not a good life.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 125
    Forum Member
    Spoiler alert: they are still together, despite the hag having said:

    a) he's poor
    b) he's lazy
    c) he's thoughtlesss
    d) he's dirty
    e) he's a lousy shag
    f) he lives in a council flat (swoon)
    g) he buys shit presents
    h) he doesn't appreciate her
    i) he brushes his teeth whilst on the khazi
    j) he smokes

    Yup... despite this, they are still together. Why? Well... he's burnt all his bridges and will take the scraps she throws him despite being pilloried. I feel sorry for him*.

    *doesn't.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 51
    Forum Member
    It has to be a wind-up. It must be . Come on, on real people don't behave like this do they?
    It has to be all about money, for both of them. I think she comes across as really stupid, but them when I compare her pay check with mine...
    I'm the dull one.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 125
    Forum Member
    I think it's six of one and half a dozen of the other.

    As far as the Dreary and her *ahem* relationship is concerned, there is more truth than otherwise. The Dreary had run out of steam and she was deperate for something, anything, to fill the void. She had met up with Dscrace a few years ago, so had a vague idea of what he was up to, like etc. She put out that odd piece about her exes and he was encouraged to get in touch. He was down on his uppers and I think he saw an opportunity to have a taste of the highlife in his declining years. I don't think he had any idea of her MO when it comes to men: write them into the dreary, telling them that it's just a bit of fun/her job/entertainment, big them up, beguile them with gifts, cut them off from their social circle, isolate them and then get stuck in: rubbish their looks, personality, job, habits... the lot. Exactly as she did with her first husband.

    As a consequence, infuriated beyond measure, they will do something that will be a huge betrayal. She kicks them into touch, bemoaning the fact that she is wronged, listing all the trips, presents, treats and the other sacrifices she made for them. She then spends the next 5 - 7 years gnashing her teeth before rinsing and repeating.

    Dcsrace has infuriated her by a) not proposing on time and now b) not pissing off like he's supposed to, but hanging round like a bad smell. As a consequence, she has had to up the ante with regard to abusing him in print... he currently has absolutely no redeeming features... until he grows a pair and tells her where to stick her lighter.

    Then it's back to the bedsit for him and she can drag out the aftermath until retirement.

    The op-ed pieces are a slightly different kettle of fish and veer fom the latest management 'dare' (editorial meetings: "what can we get her to do next? Tee hee!") hence the positively bizarre 'feature' pieces, to the standard spouting about things of which she knows nothing (generally children) or endless rehashing of how poor she was as a child. She is the only one not to see the hilarity in the phrase 'threadbare jodhpurs'! Right up there with 'wonky tiara' in my opinion.

    She is tired, drinks, has no future to speak of, no real family... if it wasn't so self-inflicted, I could almost feel sorry for her. Then I remember the animal cruelty, so I don't.
  • newbabynewbaby Posts: 824
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    So much of LJ' writing is the "same old thing", whether it be the Dreary or the Op-Ed pieces (which are, frankly, just a regurgitation of past offerings). The common thread is that HER life has been ghastly and awful because of other people.

    Plus ca change...

    But what really bugs me is that the protagonists in last weekend's Dreary are, quite clearly, complicit in the nonsense that LJ writes. All three would appear to be beholden to that evil gremlin: money, and knowing which side of the gluten-free brioche is smothered with vegan spread. The brioche ain't so fresh now...I'd advise abandoning HMS Jones soonest.

    The collateral damage isn't those three, though. It's the nasty, vindictive, venomous and barbed remarks towards more or less anybody from whom she perceives a slight.
  • Suzy_CatSuzy_Cat Posts: 1,368
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    "Dcsrace has infuriated her by a) not proposing on time and now b) not pissing off like he's supposed to, but hanging round like a bad smell. "
    Do you think she consciously wants rid of him though?

    I'd be interested to know how much the Dreary of today is following the same pattern as with her first marriage.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 125
    Forum Member
    Suzy_Cat wrote: »
    "Dcsrace has infuriated her by a) not proposing on time and now b) not pissing off like he's supposed to, but hanging round like a bad smell. "
    Do you think she consciously wants rid of him though?

    I'd be interested to know how much the Dreary of today is following the same pattern as with her first marriage.

    They are all archived and available... if you happen to be free for a day or two you could trawl through her going on about his laziness, fat thighs, obsession with yoga, ingratitude, untidiness... make up a bingo card first and make a game of it!
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    "I began to think he might be dead. I met Isobel to take our dogs for a walk.

    Ah, the heartfelt concern of true love...

    Also, we have the winner for "Least Convincing Alleged Text Of The Year":

    "‘It’s true, and regrettable, that I did not take those feelings fully into account, for which I apologise.’"
  • Suzy_CatSuzy_Cat Posts: 1,368
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    My boyfriend stormed out and did not send me a grovelling or belligerent or indeed ANY text! For ages! My Friend Isobel and I walked "our" dogs, much like a couple, and Isobel agreed that my boyfriend was a terrible person who I should not under any circumstances marry. So I sent him a desperate text and he responded. Now he is back in my clutches I shall resume denigration...


    I hope the money's worth it for both of them. She can't stand him in real life. You can't marry someone for their allegedly romantic texts.
  • BellaFigaBellaFiga Posts: 1,982
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Did Mr Darcy write that text?
  • Suzy_CatSuzy_Cat Posts: 1,368
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I'm sure everyone's read this but I find it very telling:
    http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/aug/02/liz-jones-interview

    Would she like to be with someone? "No! It took me long enough to find him [Nirpal]." Well, if this is true - and I'm not convinced it is - perhaps it is just as well. Her column must be the opposite of an aphrodisiac for prospective partners. If she fell in love, would she consider giving it up? "If they were earning their own living, yeah." Now she sounds more unconvincing than ever. Isn't the truth that the column funds a spectacular lifestyle; that it is her brand, and thus that she has made a kind of Faustian pact with it?

    The Baker assuredly earns his own living, but clearly not to the level that Liz has become accustomed.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 51
    Forum Member
    Suzy_Cat wrote: »
    I'm sure everyone's read this but I find it very telling:
    http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/aug/02/liz-jones-interview

    Would she like to be with someone? "No! It took me long enough to find him [Nirpal]." Well, if this is true - and I'm not convinced it is - perhaps it is just as well. Her column must be the opposite of an aphrodisiac for prospective partners. If she fell in love, would she consider giving it up? "If they were earning their own living, yeah." Now she sounds more unconvincing than ever. Isn't the truth that the column funds a spectacular lifestyle; that it is her brand, and thus that she has made a kind of Faustian pact with it?

    The Baker assuredly earns his own living, but clearly not to the level that Liz has become accustomed.
    I have come to the conclusion that she, and he, are taking the mick - out of all of us. And sadly, cos it's compulsive, the best way to stop this is to ignore it - if everyone does it- it will die a natural death.
    An analogy is Perez on BB, the more you ignore it, the more outrageous it becomes.
  • Poppy99_PoppyPoppy99_Poppy Posts: 2,255
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I didn't think she had any friends. She seems to have got a few now. Perhaps she forgot she had some.
  • BellaFigaBellaFiga Posts: 1,982
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Yes, who are Isobel and Dawn?
  • PolominiPolomini Posts: 533
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    I don't know who Dawn is, but Isobel is Isobel Davies, a Richmond-based organic clothes producer (among other things) who is in partnership with Liz in a company called Good Food Nation.

    http://www.goodfoodnation.co.uk/who.php
  • BellaFigaBellaFiga Posts: 1,982
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    How can Liz be in partnership with anyone when, as we all know, she has no money?
  • Mr CurmudgeonMr Curmudgeon Posts: 126
    Forum Member
    I may be totally wrong here... but we're in February now and although the Dreary has a necessary time-delay to allow Lizard a few weeks to stitch something - anything - together... the world seems to have slowed-down.
  • Mr CurmudgeonMr Curmudgeon Posts: 126
    Forum Member
    My message to David, is 'do what you do'. Look after your business and leave the media-circus behind. All of this stuff concerning a 'business' in Richmond is worthless, rubbish.
  • Mr CurmudgeonMr Curmudgeon Posts: 126
    Forum Member
    Apparently, and according to Isobel:.. 'Liz Jones is the most famous, best read columnist in the UK... and lives in Somerset with her four rescued collies, 17 rescued cats, rescued horses and sheep.'

    From an 'ethical-website'perspective, I don't think that's quite right. Liz left Somerset amidst a wave of hostility and is now living in Yorkshire. Check out her background on the Daily Mail website... all is far from what it seems.
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Polomini wrote: »
    I don't know who Dawn is, but Isobel is Isobel Davies, a Richmond-based organic clothes producer (among other things) who is in partnership with Liz in a company called Good Food Nation.

    http://www.goodfoodnation.co.uk/who.php

    Both of the sub-companies - Hen Nation and Cow Nation - have been listed as "inactive" for well over a year. I doubt if Selfridge's stock their products any more.
  • puffin1962puffin1962 Posts: 434
    Forum Member
    Suzy_Cat wrote: »
    The Baker assuredly earns his own living, but clearly not to the level that Liz has become accustomed.

    This is the problem with the fantasy land that Liz has created based on a SATC lifestyle of luxury clothing, holidays, cars and presents - the type of lifestyle that was the basis of her drearies about the "rock star". She doesn't want a normal relationship based on partnership - she craves social status, and for people to envy her buttery-soft, luxury life and is quite happy to bancrupt herself to achieve it.

    In her 30 year old fantasy the baker inhabited the rock star lifestyle as well - not the reality of being up before dawn to bake bread - she fantasized that he would sweep her off her feet, shower her with designer gifts and probably a huge 10 carat designer ring - but obviously this is not his personality no matter how much she hints, bullies and whines about gold Dunhill lighters .... :D

    Liz sees herself as part of a Knightsbridge or Manhattan social scene - while the DM downgraded her engagement photo shoot to Crawley. And therin lies the problem Liz and the baker are a "Crawley couple" and she will never be Samantha in Manhattan- but Liz cannot let go of the SATC fantasy and is becoming more absurd the more she attempts to ignore the reality of her life and her desperation for writing fodder.
  • fitnessqueenfitnessqueen Posts: 5,185
    Forum Member
    puffin1962 wrote: »
    This is the problem with the fantasy land that Liz has created based on a SATC lifestyle of luxury clothing, holidays, cars and presents - the type of lifestyle that was the basis of her drearies about the "rock star". She doesn't want a normal relationship based on partnership - she craves social status, and for people to envy her buttery-soft, luxury life and is quite happy to bancrupt herself to achieve it.

    In her 30 year old fantasy the baker inhabited the rock star lifestyle as well - not the reality of being up before dawn to bake bread - she fantasized that he would sweep her off her feet, shower her with designer gifts and probably a huge 10 carat designer ring - but obviously this is not his personality no matter how much she hints, bullies and whines about gold Dunhill lighters .... :D

    Liz sees herself as part of a Knightsbridge or Manhattan social scene - while the DM downgraded her engagement photo shoot to Crawley. And therin lies the problem Liz and the baker are a "Crawley couple" and she will never be Samantha in Manhattan- but Liz cannot let go of the SATC fantasy and is becoming more absurd the more she attempts to ignore the reality of her life and her desperation for writing fodder.

    Not Crawley dahling! Turners Hill. Much posher ;-)
Sign In or Register to comment.