Buying lobster to cook dinner for my husband (who at the time was still the boyfriend then). Anyway, as I asked the fish monger for a lobster, the cheeky git said "They're expensive you know", I just looked at him and asked "Why, Do I look like I can't afford them?. I'll tell you what, give me two".
The fishmonger probably thought "reverse psychology, works every time" happily to himself as he wrapped your purchase with a suitably crestfallen expression
I have this friend who in private says I'm spoilt by "Mummy and Daddy" but in public tries to make herself look better than me. She also acts like if you have an accent, other than hers you're less intelligent.
Example:
Her "Lets go to mine! I have the big TV."
Me "Yeah I mean just the other day you were saying mine was only 52". I'm so uncivilised with my tiny TV,"
Last year she asked "My graduation is this year, do you understand degrees?"
I just replied with "Well I'm sure I have some grasp, I mean I'm graduating next year, I'm sure I'll bluff it,"
She also once told me "You say some words funny, it's pronounced like blah-blah-blah,"
Me "Hang on, you've known me how long and you're still only grasping that I have an accent? As someone whose travelled a bit, accents don't amuse or shock me, but oh well,"
She also does that "You'll feel a void missing from your life if you never have children, I think you're just being self centred"
Me: "Nah, i just don't fancy it. I like my luxuries etc and I'm not a very maternal person, I don't mind kids but I just have no desire to have any, I don't want kids, if doing what I want with my own life makes me selfish then I'm am so"
I was in Sainsbury's once and saw one of those stands where people from an energy company try and get you to switch over to them. I was bracing myself to say something like 'I'm not interested' or 'no thanks' but as I went to go past one of the blokes asked me who my current supplier was. For some reason I was a bit thrown/flustered by a different line of questioning so I just said, 'oh I don't know' (because I didn't - we rented at the time and all the energy bills went through the landlord) but before I could clarify he said, 'oh, does your husband take care of all that for you?'. To this day I wish I'd have said something back to him but I was so taken aback that I just walked off!
I used to work in a call centre in Brighton doing telephone market research for a well-known polling company. A lot of people you called would talk to you as if you were really stupid, as if call-centre-worker equals "thicko".
In actual fact, Brighton being the arty, bohemian place it is, most of the workers were just doing the job to make ends meet while pursuing careers such as writing, acting, being an artist/musician etc. And some people were already pretty well-known in their fields, such as several actors who'd already made it pretty big and were recognisable faces from the soaps etc. They just preferred to keep busy between acting jobs rather than sit on their laurels. But it used to amuse me that people were being so condescending towards colleagues of mine that they'd probably been watching on TV the night before, and laughing their socks off at because they starred in a cult comedy or something.
After years of caring for my mum, I jumped at the chance to do something completely different for nine months - to be a interior designer and project manager for house renovation. I'd done it before on a casual basis and with my family working in construction and architecture, I felt confident in doing it. It was great, the house looks amazing and all went really well.....but one thing made me so angry.
I'd often have to go to places like specialist paint shops, carpet fitters, building suppliers, tiling merchants and even fabric shops...and would often go with my partner as he drives a large landrover than can fit building supplies in. I'd walk into the store and I'd approach and start talking to the owners/assistant about what I wanted - I'd start the conversation, I was the one holding the project folder...yet they would immediately turn to my partner and address HIM with the answer. It happened SO often. I found it infuriating, sexist and very patronising!!!
I used to work in a call centre in Brighton doing telephone market research for a well-known polling company. A lot of people you called would talk to you as if you were really stupid, as if call-centre-worker equals "thicko".
In actual fact, Brighton being the arty, bohemian place it is, most of the workers were just doing the job to make ends meet while pursuing careers such as writing, acting, being an artist/musician etc. And some people were already pretty well-known in their fields, such as several actors who'd already made it pretty big and were recognisable faces from the soaps etc. They just preferred to keep busy between acting jobs rather than sit on their laurels. But it used to amuse me that people were being so condescending towards colleagues of mine that they'd probably been watching on TV the night before, and laughing their socks off at because they starred in a cult comedy or something.
Years ago I was a restaurant manager and we had one really rude objectionable customer who used to come and eat quite often and spend a lot of money. He was vastly overweight and when we served his food - all silver service - he wouldn't lean to one side to make serving easier so the young girls hated serving him as he was pressed up against them - yuk he was creepy . Anyway I used to serve him if I was on duty - he knew that if he tried touching me he would get a red hot serving dish touching his neck or in his lap - and one day as I was stretched over him trying to put food on his plate, he said to me " you smell very nice today - what is it ?" I was so shocked at him saying something pleasant I just answered truthfully Chanel No 5 - and he said "Far too good for the likes of you" !
I walked off and told my boss who went and told him to apologise - which he did with very bad grace !
Soon afterwards he went bust and we never saw him again !
Ive recently cut contact with a friend who was always rude and patronising but since having a baby has got worse.
Shes married but it doesnt seem a happy marriage. They are always arguing and slagging each other off and moaning about money. When she had a baby she asked me if i was going to have one. I said no (me and oh dont want any) and her response was "oh well, you never know what a good relationship is until you have a proper little family".
Excuse me for being happy as i am! On another occasion she implied that one day my oh might love me enough to start a family with me! Im not some desperate woman longing for a baby!
I shouldve twigged what she was like years ago. They were the first in our social group to get a house and she didnt stop bragging. They had a 1 bed terraced house. A few years later we got a 3 bed house, and then our other friends got a 3 bed house. Nobody made a fuss about it. The patronising couple then got a 3 bed house with a loft conversion and now she constantly tells us how she "couldnt possibly manage in a 3 bed house! I dont know how you cope! Why dont you convert your loft?"
Erm because two people can live in a 3 bed house easily? She managed to live in a one bed house which was perfect for her for years so why the sudden turn around?
When my ex's sister came to look at our new house and said "its not as bad as I thought".
MANY MANY times I have had people tell me "your english is very good", well what the hell do you expect after 35 years in England!!! I didn't just get off the boat from China!
When my ex's sister came to look at our new house and said "its not as bad as I thought".
MANY MANY times I have had people tell me "your english is very good", well what the hell do you expect after 35 years in England!!! I didn't just get off the boat from China!
The issue is unless they know how long you've been in the country they are ignorant enough to think you landed fresh off the boat. With people like that don't look at them as being patronising but as misinformed.
Years ago, we lived in an end terrace house which had a chapel on one side and, at the very end of our garden, was a lovely field (was in a big city too, but we were on the edge of a country park). Behind the chapel, and also behind a twenty foot wall, was a small coach company.
Maybe it was because our house was a council house (although didn't look like one, as it was a Victorian terrace) but a step relative came uninvited and unexpected for the day, which was bad enough as I was self-conscious about the mess in my living room and would have rather had some notice to tidy up... He stood at our back window and says "I didn't think they were even allowed to build houses next to bus depots." wtf. It was a perfectly nice house with a huge garden, in a really nice area, with a country park right behind us - and he was going on about the 3 metres of the back corner of the coach depot behind the chapel.
Personally, I found the nutjobs from the church far more of a nuisance than the coaches...
At my old job, there was a very religious lady and when she found out I'm an atheist, she actually asked me where I get my morals from. After that, she spoke to me like I was the elephant in the room or something - almost out of pity, like I was dying of some incurable disease or something and her voice would always go more high pitched. She even, at one points, recommended I go see some sort of doctor (not a normal GP, but I can't remember the name now).
This is something that happened about 7 years ago so it's very old, but it still leaves me shocked at the audacity!
When I was around 17, there was a girl I was friendly with from college. We spoke occasionally, but I wouldn't say we were friends though she was always nice and we got on. Back at this time, MySpace was all the rage (showing my age?!) and we were friends on there.
One night after arguing with my boyfriend, I posted a bulletin filled with some angsty teenage drivel, probably along the lines of "AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH why do I even bother?! ", or basically something similarly attention seeking, in the hopes that someone would ask what was wrong and coddle me. (Just want to add, I thankfully outgrew doing that - it's seriously annoying!)
Anyway, this girl (a good acquaintance at best) then sent a reply to me, along the lines of "Kyle, I think you need to seek help. You always seem so stressed and angry and I worry that your going to hurt someone or yourself. She then helpfully provided me with a link to an anger management course and suggested I look into it. I was absolutely mortified. I certainly never have had an anger issue and I couldn't believe that she thought I did. I just stared at the message for ages thinking of how to reply, before deciding not to say anything.
At first, I thought she was just being rude, but the next day at college she called me over and asked if I'd looked into it because she had been worried for me for a while. She was being completely sincere, which made the whole thing even more mortifying for me! If she had said it as an attempt to shut up an attention seeking 17 year old, I'd probably appreciate it now, but nope, she thought I was a danger to myself and others!
That they thought I was "OK". Like their opinion of me matters. It was someone that I didn't like. Should have come back with "well I don't think that you are OK".
One of the worst (but best) bits of patronage came to me at work a few years ago. Without going into too much detail I had written a detailed technical bulletin at the behest of the office manager who knew I was very skilled at the particular application concerned.
Subsequently we had a meeting in Birmingham, involving colleagues from other parts of the country, in which my bulletin, a hard copy of which was given to all attendees, came up for discussion, and I offered to explain one of the more detailed parts of it. Anyway, one of these colleagues, a guy from the London Office - real condescending know it all prat - piped up in a semi sneering way, "are you sure you're up to this, it's a very complex piece of work" to which I replied, "Yes I know, I wrote it" - he looked instantly crushed.
My 2 colleagues from Leeds who had QA'd the bulletin, looked at me and and all three of us found it hard not to burst out laughing.
Too many to mention for me, but I work in a hospital & I do find that a lot of people who are not qualified to do my job & arguably couldn't cope with what I have to do are quite fond of telling me how to do my job.
Not to me but years ago a female colleague came to work wearing wooden earrings. Another female colleague saw them and said to her "those are nice, I wish I could wear cheap jewellery".
Not to me but years ago a female colleague came to work wearing wooden earrings. Another female colleague saw them and said to her "those are nice, I wish I could wear cheap jewellery".
lol - the obvious instant retort to that would be "You can, they'd suit you" :kitty:
Not to me but years ago a female colleague came to work wearing wooden earrings. Another female colleague saw them and said to her "those are nice, I wish I could wear cheap jewellery".
That is similar to a time when a colleague clocked another colleague's new suit and said to the effect of "You're lucky that you can wear polyester suits. I could never feel comfortable in anything but bespoke cashmere suits."
The other colleague said almost bitingly, "It's not polyester." The colleague replied, "Really? Uh, well. Whatever it is, it looks like it's polyester."
He really had no idea why the colleague stared daggers at him all day.
Older female friend of my then boyfriend on meeting me.
Her: 'How are you?'
Me: 'Not too bad'.
Her: 'You're not not too bad - you're either good or your bad; what an inane expression.'
Wagon.
Clearly that isn't the case.
Didn't you respond? What about the other posters? Am I right in thinking they didn't say a peep?
Not said directly to me but something I overheard which was about me - "It's such a shame. She used to be stunning".
Thanks for that.
The same thing happened to me once! A friend came over to me and said "I was looking at old (2-3 years old) pictures of you last night. You were a really handsome boy!"
He said it sincerely, so it was meant as a compliment, but it was certainly a backhanded one!
Comments
Example:
Her "Lets go to mine! I have the big TV."
Me "Yeah I mean just the other day you were saying mine was only 52". I'm so uncivilised with my tiny TV,"
Last year she asked "My graduation is this year, do you understand degrees?"
I just replied with "Well I'm sure I have some grasp, I mean I'm graduating next year, I'm sure I'll bluff it,"
She also once told me "You say some words funny, it's pronounced like blah-blah-blah,"
Me "Hang on, you've known me how long and you're still only grasping that I have an accent? As someone whose travelled a bit, accents don't amuse or shock me, but oh well,"
She also does that "You'll feel a void missing from your life if you never have children, I think you're just being self centred"
Me: "Nah, i just don't fancy it. I like my luxuries etc and I'm not a very maternal person, I don't mind kids but I just have no desire to have any, I don't want kids, if doing what I want with my own life makes me selfish then I'm am so"
I was a little on the bitchy side but
In actual fact, Brighton being the arty, bohemian place it is, most of the workers were just doing the job to make ends meet while pursuing careers such as writing, acting, being an artist/musician etc. And some people were already pretty well-known in their fields, such as several actors who'd already made it pretty big and were recognisable faces from the soaps etc. They just preferred to keep busy between acting jobs rather than sit on their laurels. But it used to amuse me that people were being so condescending towards colleagues of mine that they'd probably been watching on TV the night before, and laughing their socks off at because they starred in a cult comedy or something.
After years of caring for my mum, I jumped at the chance to do something completely different for nine months - to be a interior designer and project manager for house renovation. I'd done it before on a casual basis and with my family working in construction and architecture, I felt confident in doing it. It was great, the house looks amazing and all went really well.....but one thing made me so angry.
I'd often have to go to places like specialist paint shops, carpet fitters, building suppliers, tiling merchants and even fabric shops...and would often go with my partner as he drives a large landrover than can fit building supplies in. I'd walk into the store and I'd approach and start talking to the owners/assistant about what I wanted - I'd start the conversation, I was the one holding the project folder...yet they would immediately turn to my partner and address HIM with the answer. It happened SO often. I found it infuriating, sexist and very patronising!!!
David Van Day needs to get out more.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Van_Day#Personal_life
Anyway. Seriously. Any of us could be going literally down that road, someday. He's alright now, which is the main thing.
Are you that guy I briefly went out with on the rebound who, after I dumped you, kept ringing to say you were remote viewing me?
No that was me.
I like what you've done with your hair today by the way.
I walked off and told my boss who went and told him to apologise - which he did with very bad grace !
Soon afterwards he went bust and we never saw him again !
In case you hadn't noticed, I've moved. Still keeping tabs on where you are though you creepy f**ker.
Shes married but it doesnt seem a happy marriage. They are always arguing and slagging each other off and moaning about money. When she had a baby she asked me if i was going to have one. I said no (me and oh dont want any) and her response was "oh well, you never know what a good relationship is until you have a proper little family".
Excuse me for being happy as i am! On another occasion she implied that one day my oh might love me enough to start a family with me! Im not some desperate woman longing for a baby!
I shouldve twigged what she was like years ago. They were the first in our social group to get a house and she didnt stop bragging. They had a 1 bed terraced house. A few years later we got a 3 bed house, and then our other friends got a 3 bed house. Nobody made a fuss about it. The patronising couple then got a 3 bed house with a loft conversion and now she constantly tells us how she "couldnt possibly manage in a 3 bed house! I dont know how you cope! Why dont you convert your loft?"
Erm because two people can live in a 3 bed house easily? She managed to live in a one bed house which was perfect for her for years so why the sudden turn around?
MANY MANY times I have had people tell me "your english is very good", well what the hell do you expect after 35 years in England!!! I didn't just get off the boat from China!
The issue is unless they know how long you've been in the country they are ignorant enough to think you landed fresh off the boat. With people like that don't look at them as being patronising but as misinformed.
Maybe it was because our house was a council house (although didn't look like one, as it was a Victorian terrace) but a step relative came uninvited and unexpected for the day, which was bad enough as I was self-conscious about the mess in my living room and would have rather had some notice to tidy up... He stood at our back window and says "I didn't think they were even allowed to build houses next to bus depots." wtf. It was a perfectly nice house with a huge garden, in a really nice area, with a country park right behind us - and he was going on about the 3 metres of the back corner of the coach depot behind the chapel.
Personally, I found the nutjobs from the church far more of a nuisance than the coaches...
A witch doctor perhaps!
When I was around 17, there was a girl I was friendly with from college. We spoke occasionally, but I wouldn't say we were friends though she was always nice and we got on. Back at this time, MySpace was all the rage (showing my age?!) and we were friends on there.
One night after arguing with my boyfriend, I posted a bulletin filled with some angsty teenage drivel, probably along the lines of "AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH why do I even bother?!
Anyway, this girl (a good acquaintance at best) then sent a reply to me, along the lines of "Kyle, I think you need to seek help. You always seem so stressed and angry and I worry that your going to hurt someone or yourself. She then helpfully provided me with a link to an anger management course and suggested I look into it. I was absolutely mortified. I certainly never have had an anger issue and I couldn't believe that she thought I did. I just stared at the message for ages thinking of how to reply, before deciding not to say anything.
At first, I thought she was just being rude, but the next day at college she called me over and asked if I'd looked into it because she had been worried for me for a while. She was being completely sincere, which made the whole thing even more mortifying for me! If she had said it as an attempt to shut up an attention seeking 17 year old, I'd probably appreciate it now, but nope, she thought I was a danger to myself and others!
Subsequently we had a meeting in Birmingham, involving colleagues from other parts of the country, in which my bulletin, a hard copy of which was given to all attendees, came up for discussion, and I offered to explain one of the more detailed parts of it. Anyway, one of these colleagues, a guy from the London Office - real condescending know it all prat - piped up in a semi sneering way, "are you sure you're up to this, it's a very complex piece of work" to which I replied, "Yes I know, I wrote it" - he looked instantly crushed.
My 2 colleagues from Leeds who had QA'd the bulletin, looked at me and and all three of us found it hard not to burst out laughing.
lol - the obvious instant retort to that would be "You can, they'd suit you" :kitty:
That is similar to a time when a colleague clocked another colleague's new suit and said to the effect of "You're lucky that you can wear polyester suits. I could never feel comfortable in anything but bespoke cashmere suits."
The other colleague said almost bitingly, "It's not polyester." The colleague replied, "Really? Uh, well. Whatever it is, it looks like it's polyester."
He really had no idea why the colleague stared daggers at him all day.
Clearly that isn't the case.
Didn't you respond? What about the other posters? Am I right in thinking they didn't say a peep?
The same thing happened to me once! A friend came over to me and said "I was looking at old (2-3 years old) pictures of you last night. You were a really handsome boy!"
He said it sincerely, so it was meant as a compliment, but it was certainly a backhanded one!