alcohol advise

leicslad46 · 19/04/14 - 19:30

I have drank since euro 2004 when i used to watch the matches with a pint or two at home. I originally drank lager but moved on to vodka around four years ago. I came home from visiting my dad who was dying from cancer and looked in the drinks cabinet and tried the vodka which was left over from christmas to cope. I liked it and started to move away from lager and drink only vodka. But since the move to vodka there has been a downward spiral that has caused issues. Things came to a head last weekend that led me to say never again regarding the drinking. The resolve has been strong up until yesterday. But with this weekend being a special one with it being easter i have been wanting to have one but easter this year coincides with my dads anniversary falling on monday. I dont want to rock the boat but it is a thoroughly miserable atmosphere. I dont know what to do. Like i have said there has been issues and trust has gone out the window

Wizsister · 19/04/14 - 19:45

I think the first step would be to see your GP but obviously that's not going to happen until Tuesday. You don't have to make easter a special weekend, in the grand scheme of things its just another sunday. Can only really suggest keeping yourself occupied so you're not thinking about alcohol and don't surround yourself with people who are likely to have a drink either. Best of luck, it won't be easy but don't be hard on yourself if you slip.

Shadow27 · 19/04/14 - 19:52

I am so sorry you're struggling. It sounds like you need to replace the alcohol with another, more constructive support as you approach this difficult time. It's a huge task to set yourself alone but a sensible one, as is your honesty in your words.

Have you spoken to Cruse who offer help to get over grief? www.cruse.org.uk/‎

If not, do talk to your GP and don't go through this alone.

leicslad46 · 19/04/14 - 20:16

At the beginning of 2013 i went on the month long dryathlon for cancer research as cancer was what my dad died of. I carried on through february up until the last sunday when i had a drink. With me having nearly two months off it came as a shock to the system and i spent monday at home suffering from a hangover after only a glass. I went back to drinking big time and started drinking at the weekend but that gradually spread to being seven days. I have been sneek drinking where i was sneeking in miniature vodkas(6 a time) seven days a week but the fact that i was spending nearly 100 pound a week on alcohol it was beginning to have a financial impact. My family dont like me drinking vodka as they class it as the hard stuff. But i am reluctant to go back on the lager as i just got my weight down through damn hard work. I am so miserable and that is bringing down my mam who was married to my dad for nearly 47 years. I really want to have a drink but it is ripping me apart by the should i or shouldnt i debate. If i do it is making my mam miserable. If i dont then both of us are going to be unhappy. I could say fcuk it and go out and by a bottle of vodka but dont want to upset anyone

Relly · 19/04/14 - 21:49

Leicslad, I feel for you, I really do. I think when anyone is trying to not do something like drink alcohol or take drugs, or even to not have a ciggie when trying to give up, they find reasons to do it. Your reason is that it's a special weekend. Why is it so special? Because it's a bank holiday? As another poster said, it's just another Sunday, really, with a day off after it. I really do think you're exaggerating the importance of the Sunday as being a reason to do something you feel you shouldn't, but desperately want.

Then there's your dad's anniversary on Monday. Well, it can be hard to get through an anniversary like that without having a drink, if that's how you need to get past it, but (if you don't mind a suggestion) can you not think of it this way: your family don't like your drinking , and your father is your family, so to respect him and the rest you won't do it? Then on Tuesday you can get to your GP asap and talk about further support.

Only a suggestion, Leicslad, and I'm sorry if you feel I've over-stepped the mark in any way. I do hope you manage to keep (ie maintain) those promises to yourself this weekend. x

paralax · 19/04/14 - 22:30

Go to AA, if you have ever known someone who has been drinking heavily for years and seen the damage it has done you would find the strength to stop. I have a close relative who I love dearly who has been alcoholic for years, he now has chronic pancreatitis, and is in severe and constant pain, is stick thin, cannot eat and still forces alcohol down his throat. He vomits many times a day, and I had the misfortune to see him projectile vomiting fresh blood while rolling around the floor in agony.

That is the reality you face if you don't stop while you have your health intact.

Sifter22 · 19/04/14 - 22:37

Are you dependent on it then? You shouldn't just suddenly stop of you're drinking large amounts everyday. Go see the GP on Tuesday I'd suggest. Good luck with it all though, it's so bloody hard to give up. I've relapsed loads of times.

Penny Crayon · 19/04/14 - 23:11

Read Allen Carr's The Easy way to Control Alcohol.

I drank heavily for years - read this book over two years ago and haven't had a drop since. It really, honestly and truly was that easy. If you are serious that you want to stop I really can't recommend this book highly enough.

The man was an absolute genius IMO.

leicslad46 · 25/04/14 - 21:41

Another weekend is here and i have started to become subdued due to me not having alcohol. I havent had any alcohol since the 12th of april and have saved money. Nearly £160. You see i sneeked drank. I used to be buy six miniature smirnoff vodkas every day as well as big bottles. You can imagine that it was having a financial impact. I dont know how i am going to get through the weekend as it now that i am beginning to feel it. I am ok at the beginning of the week up until thursday. But with friday and weekend here the wanting to have a drink is becoming strong

Melp26 · 25/04/14 - 21:48

www.intuitiverecovery.com
Give it a look, they help u figure out the whole should I, shouldn't I internal debate. Good luck x

Wizsister · 25/04/14 - 22:23

Again it sounds like in your mind the weekend is this big deal where its the social norm to relax with a few drinks. In the grand scheme of your life a saturday is just one 24 hour period out of thousands you will experience. Its no different to a tuesday really as thats still just one 24 hour period.
What Im trying to say is keep a perspective on things. And keep yourself occupied, go to the cinema instead of drinking or find something to do in the evenings that you enjoy so you're not thinking about having a drink.

pugamo · 25/04/14 - 22:32

You sound dangerously bored. Get out and about, go swimming, cut the grass or something. You're using alcohol in place of a hobby.

shmisk · 25/04/14 - 22:45

Try looking up your local AA meeting- maybe there's one tomorrow you could attend

Penny Crayon · 26/04/14 - 12:46

leicslad46 wrote: »

Another weekend is here and i have started to become subdued due to me not having alcohol. I havent had any alcohol since the 12th of april and have saved money. Nearly £160. You see i sneeked drank. I used to be buy six miniature smirnoff vodkas every day as well as big bottles. You can imagine that it was having a financial impact. I dont know how i am going to get through the weekend as it now that i am beginning to feel it. I am ok at the beginning of the week up until thursday. But with friday and weekend here the wanting to have a drink is becoming strong

please read the book I recommended ^^ - I swear to you it really doesn't have to be complicated and torturous - if you are committed to really wanting to stop that book will seal the deal. You have nothing to lose.

I am not on commission for the sales of this book incidentally:D. Lots of people I know quit smoking with the Allen Carr book - I thought I'd give the alcohol one a go. Believe me I wasn't just a social drinker - I drank a bottle of wine a night every single night - and more at weekends for many years. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol. The trick is in realising that it doesn't have to be hard or a sacrifice ..........it's bloody liberating.

I can feel and understand your yearning for a drink - this book changes your way of thinking - please try it.

leicslad46 · 26/04/14 - 15:40

The trouble is that i didnt used to drink every night or even vodka for that matter. Things came to a head when my dad fell ill and was diagnosed with cancer. That was back in 2009. At that time i used to drink lager and that was a way of coping. My sister used to drink vodka and there was still half a bottle in the cupboard. So one night having visited my dad at the hospital which is only over the road from where i live and looked in the cupboard and thought i try it and havent looked back. Vodka has got a hold on me more so than lager. I have spent more on vodka than i have lager. But this past fortnight i have saved nearly £200 on not having a drink and not buying vodka. The trouble with me drinking is not knowing when to stop. There have been times when i have started drinking at 7pm and have been in bed for about 9pm.

Penny Crayon · 26/04/14 - 17:14

leicslad46 wrote: »

The trouble is that i didnt used to drink every night or even vodka for that matter. Things came to a head when my dad fell ill and was diagnosed with cancer. That was back in 2009. At that time i used to drink lager and that was a way of coping. My sister used to drink vodka and there was still half a bottle in the cupboard. So one night having visited my dad at the hospital which is only over the road from where i live and looked in the cupboard and thought i try it and havent looked back. Vodka has got a hold on me more so than lager. I have spent more on vodka than i have lager. But this past fortnight i have saved nearly £200 on not having a drink and not buying vodka. The trouble with me drinking is not knowing when to stop. There have been times when i have started drinking at 7pm and have been in bed for about 9pm.

Yeah ...............and? Get the book - I'm telling you - you wont look back believe me.

shmisk · 26/04/14 - 18:11

leicslad46 wrote: »

The trouble is that i didnt used to drink every night or even vodka for that matter. Things came to a head when my dad fell ill and was diagnosed with cancer. That was back in 2009. At that time i used to drink lager and that was a way of coping. My sister used to drink vodka and there was still half a bottle in the cupboard. So one night having visited my dad at the hospital which is only over the road from where i live and looked in the cupboard and thought i try it and havent looked back. Vodka has got a hold on me more so than lager. I have spent more on vodka than i have lager. But this past fortnight i have saved nearly £200 on not having a drink and not buying vodka. The trouble with me drinking is not knowing when to stop. There have been times when i have started drinking at 7pm and have been in bed for about 9pm.

its more about WHY you drink

AA is genuinely worth going to, you should maybe think about giving it a try

Susan_A1951 · 26/04/14 - 20:22

OP - if you are dependent on alcohol - and from what you say, you are - then please don't think of going it alone. Get down to your local AA meeting, and there will be one near you. You will receive so much support and help from those who are in exactly the same position as you. Take back your life - seek help. All the very best and good luck.

Flamethrower100 · 26/04/14 - 23:26

how much are you drinking. I love a drink myself. But I go trough spells of not drinking at all. I don't do it to block out pain. I do it cause I am bored.

My dad is in a home now aged 55. He drank up to a bottle and a half of vodka a day at one point. He shat himself, was abusive towards me, and tried to manipulate me into buying him drink. By the end of his drinking he had lost about half of his body weight. He fell over all the time. broke his hip twice. I had to beg him to let me call the ambulance. once he lay on the sofa for 2 weeks with a broken leg. I just thought he was ill. still to this day he swears he never had a problem with drink. And My grandmother who took him to live with her at the end of it all, says that he wasn't drinking a lot. when by that point he was drinking a half bottle a day. the mind boggles. I mean I know I drink more than I should at times, but I hope I never get to that point.

TelevisionUser · 27/04/14 - 20:05

Shadow27 wrote: »

I am so sorry you're struggling. It sounds like you need to replace the alcohol with another, more constructive support as you approach this difficult time. It's a huge task to set yourself alone but a sensible one, as is your honesty in your words.

Have you spoken to Cruse who offer help to get over grief? www.cruse.org.uk/‎

If not, do talk to your GP and don't go through this alone.

That's a good idea because the GP would be able to discuss all the treatment options in respect of dealing with alcohol as well.

Hey there!

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