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Funny things children say - lets have a laugh
technology_love
Posts: 3,179 Forum Member
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A happy thread.
What funny things have you heard children say to others or you?
When I was about 4 my mum and older sister took me to a swimming lesson (private house). There were kids splashing around and I was scared! When the teacher asked me to come in I replied very dryly...."your pool is dirty and I don't like your face"
My mum almost had a heartache through embarrasment.
When I was about 5 I was running down a hotel corridor. An elderly lady stopped me and said "no running in the passage". I replied "I'm not running I'm jogging". She then asked who I belong to. I replied that I belonged to myself.
I dont remember any of these stories!
What have you heard?
What funny things have you heard children say to others or you?
When I was about 4 my mum and older sister took me to a swimming lesson (private house). There were kids splashing around and I was scared! When the teacher asked me to come in I replied very dryly...."your pool is dirty and I don't like your face"
My mum almost had a heartache through embarrasment.
When I was about 5 I was running down a hotel corridor. An elderly lady stopped me and said "no running in the passage". I replied "I'm not running I'm jogging". She then asked who I belong to. I replied that I belonged to myself.
I dont remember any of these stories!
What have you heard?
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AHahahahahahaha
Great!!!
I now have my shopping delivered....
When i was about 5 or 6 we were visiting some friends who lived near us in Germany (my parents were in the Army). The husband was a large, well built black gentleman and I was sitting on his knee examining his hands. I asked him if the rest of him was brown, why were the front of his hands pink?. He replied "The soles of my feet are pink too". I asked why and he said "That's where God stood me up against a wall and spray painted me".
I once asked a guy who had tight curly red hair, but a bald spot right in the middle, why he was bald at that one place. He told me that was where God casted off after knitting him.
Apparently, when my Dad was sent off to Cyprus during the Turkish/Greek conflict I was at school and got upset to the words of the Lords Prayer. Instead of saying "Hallowed be thy name", I used to say "Walter be thy name" and got upset and kicked off when the teachers corrected me.
My brother when young would never shut up, he talked all the time and was forever being told to shut up. One day we were on a bus in Glasgow heading into town when an old woman said "Aren't you two lovely wee boys, what are your names?" and my brother replied "My name's shutup Derek".
But it sounded like, "My dad likes knickers."
The woman gave me a look of scornful contempt and shook her head in disgust as she continued to scan my shopping. It wasn't even worth trying to explain - and by that point I realised that several other people had heard and were staring at me as if I were some sort of weirdo. I had to pay as quickly as I could and just get out of there.
When I asked her what it said, she said
"I don't know, I can't read yet!"
He let out the sort of screaming howl you would expect from someone who had just been slapped, the sort of howl that had parents turning to look at us within a radius of 100yds and pointing at me wailed "HE CALLED ME THE B WORD"
There was a collective sharp intake of breath all round me and much tutting.
I was reduced to looking at people saying "I didn't... I didn't... I said brat honestly!"
Heh.....
Sounds like that child gets his way often and is in need of some boundary settings. Have you got super nanny's number?
My five year old had all of his privileges taken away for naughty behaviour. A few days in he sighed, "oh mummy, I just want my life back" in the most dramatic voice possible. I had to go in another room to laugh!
He is a strapping 19 year old now and turned out a lovely lad in the end,
"I had a Smack!..."
Unsurprisingly my mum was ready to storm in and demand what had happened when luckily my brother continued "yes milk and a biscuit"
When my daughter was about 4 we stayed in a cottage in Scotland that had a hunting/fishing lodge with it. When I took her there she looked at the large deer head on the wall in awe.
She then persisted in asking to go into the small kitchen that ran behind the main room, when taken in there she was genuinely bemused as to where the deers bottom was.
Bless
PMSL. Best one yet!!!!
We were in a Pizza Express having a meal one evening. The waitress was being very polite as standard and was asking my son about his new brother. My son was 6 at the time.
Waitress: "Do you help your mummy feed your brother?"
Son: "No, because I don't have breasts." Waitress turned as red as pizza sauce and just cleared the dishes.
Son: "Why is the baby smiling in his sleep?"
Me: "Oh he must be dreaming about something he really likes."
Son: "He must be dreaming about breasts then."
Told an indian doctor when I was little that I didn't like indians. She had long plaits over her ears like native americans do. Being a cowboy film obsessed child I thought she was a native american and was going to scalp me! My Mum has never lived that one down.
A few weeks ago I was talking to my next door neighbour. Her 3 year old son came out of the house looking upset, she asked him what was wrong. He siad "ooo dat futting dog! He pushed me over!" Glad he couldn't say his K's properly. Neighbours face was a picture. Who knows where he heard that language
He ran into the house where my wife was entertaining some of the other mothers from the school.
"Mummy, mummy," he said, tugging on her blouse as she was in the middle of a conversation.
"Mummy, mummy, mummy," he continued as she asked him to wait.
She finished what she was saying and turned to him to ask, "Yes dear - what is it?"
"Daddy said f****** bollocks."
Hahahahahaha so funny.
One of my step sister's daughter was around 6 or 7 and hated school. She was a bit of a spooilt brat to be honest, always trying to get her own way and going into a tantrum if she didn't. Her mum was taking her to school and she had been promised a chocolate bar if she behaved and went to school, but her mum had forgotten her purse when they got to the shop. So the mum said sorry, but we'll get you one after school and proceeded to lead her daughter across the road to school. The daughter was having none of it and went into a tantrum shouting "No mummy, no, don't hit me again mummy". (For the record, mummy had never hit her daughters, she was one of those who didn't believe in even a smack, but I'll bet she felt like it then).