She probably should have thought about before marrying him 5 years previous.
I can't help feel this situation gets treat with such a double standard. If this was the other way around people would be saying stuff like, he's cheating, he doesn't love you, he should take a shower, he shouldn't be choosing TV over you blah blah blah"
It is true.
You'd hear, he can't satisfy his wife etc... she's entitled to seek it elsewhere, he's a failure in bed etc etc... he must be gay... he's selfish... he must be cheating..
I really can't imagine a scenario where a bloke is repeatedly refusing to sleep with his wife, despite being perfectly able to, and all these folk jumping up and calling the woman a rotter for asking him.
I've read this loads of times now, mainly from women.
Surely when you marry someone, there are certain obligations you accept that you have to meet, and I'd say sex is one of them.
If you turned this around, and it was a women saying how her husband has rejected her sexual advances 24 times in 7 weeks, what would everyone say?
In b4 Jason Watkins comes in to tell everyone he's asexual and that not everyone needs sex in their relationship
Sex is not an obligation. Ever. For anyone. In any situation. Ever.
Male or female. If you don't want to have sex you say no. Simple. Married. Single. In a relationship. Sex is not an obligation. Ever.
Sex is something both participants should 100% want. If they don't. It shouldn't happen. You should never feel obligated to have sex with someone just because you married them. Because quite simply, it's not an obligation. Ever.
Everyone knows spreadsheets will always get you laid. Fact.
Nah - Powerpoint slide presentation is what the guy needed. A 20 slide summary of all the reasons that he deserves sex with lots of little animations and the font in comic sans. Nothing as romantic as powerpoint slides.
Still won't put out...? Well, thats what god gave us hands and kleenex for.
I was always very highly sexed. in all my relationships it was mainly me wanting sex more than my partners and that is saying something
But I had one partner (who the man in this story reminds me of) who would want sex when we snuggled to watch TV or when I was doing something, he would whine and sulk and it really put me off sex with him and in the end we hardly had sex and when we did it was just to shut him up for a little while, but back to square one the next day. It was really soul destroying and put me off sex for a while.
would want sex when we snuggled to watch TV or when I was doing something, he would whine and sulk and it really put me off sex with him and in the end we hardly had sex and when we did it was just to shut him up for a little while, but back to square one the next day.
maybe he just wanted his Winalot and you misinterpreted
That spreadsheet made me LOL. What a loser. He should have talked to her about it face to face. But her excuses were shit and she shouldn't have posted it on reddit. Three times in seven weeks is just bad.
3 times in 6 or 7 weeks, the guy is lucky as shit. I don't think I have even had sex 3 times in the past 6 months, my wife rejected my advances so much that it got me depressed.
Also, who the **** waits until the next day to shower after going to the gym?
Glad I'm not the only one who thinks the bloke comes across as a complete arse. The amusing thing is he's probably highlighting what a crap lover he is by the fact he clearly begs for it every night and only gets it on rare occasions. Maybe he needs to look at what he's doing in the sack or perhaps how he's treating his wife outside of the bedroom rather than making a spreadsheet and posting it on the internet.
The conditions have to be right; not too tired, plenty of time, feeling good, partner hasn't annoyed them lately.
And by the sounds of what she wrote she was lacking a lot of confidence in her own body and if you don't like yourself it's difficult to feel sexy and confident with sex (and before someone clueless says it, no the fact that he wanted to have sex with her doesn't help fix that in her mind!)
I think she is in the wrong for refusing her husband sex...
So if she doesn't want to have sex what should she do then? Lay back and let him do it anyway? Nice... Anyone can refuse anyone else sex whenever they like.
She probably didn't communicate with him well enough to tell him how she was feeling and why she didn't want sex. That's poor in a relationship because you should be able to talk. But waiting to send her a spreadsheet when she was going away? That's beyond childish on his part and very self entitled. Very 'why won't you give me sex?' rather than asking her what's actually wrong.
And by the sounds of what she wrote she was lacking a lot of confidence in her own body and if you don't like yourself it's difficult to feel sexy and confident with sex (and before someone clueless says it, no the fact that he wanted to have sex with her doesn't help fix that in her mind!)
So if she doesn't want to have sex what should she do then? Lay back and let him do it anyway? Nice... Anyone can refuse anyone else sex whenever they like.
She probably didn't communicate with him well enough to tell him how she was feeling and why she didn't want sex. That's poor in a relationship because you should be able to talk. But waiting to send her a spreadsheet when she was going away? That's beyond childish on his part and very self entitled. Very 'why won't you give me sex?' rather than asking her what's actually wrong.
In my experience with women, the answer to that question is normally " there is nothing wrong" while simultaneously sucking a strong citrus fruit of some kind
Some people appear to make too much of a deal of getting sex X amount of times per week / month / whatever. Sometimes me and the wench won't do it for a while, other times, at it like rabbits. Don't really keep track and it doesn't really bother either of us, just do it when we feel like it. I've got a higher sex drive, but I'm quite happy just to bash one out if she CBA.
3 times in 6 or 7 weeks, the guy is lucky as shit. I don't think I have even had sex 3 times in the past 6 months, my wife rejected my advances so much that it got me depressed.
Do you make sure she feels attractive/sexy? Sometimes women just don't want to do it because they don't feel sexy enough.
This guy clearly has an issue with "picking his moment" and therein lies the issue.
Offer her a massage, run her a bath, or even make it a bit more blatant and suggest some some quality time? But make the bloody effort, don't just grope her on the sofa why she isn't expecting it or ask her if the fancies sex when she is just in from the gym!
Surely when you marry someone, there are certain obligations you accept that you have to meet, and I'd say sex is one of them.
Ah, so sex is an 'obligation'?
I'd be well shot of a partner who described it as such.
It shouldn't be.
It should be something freely shared between two consenting people and when it goes wrong, frank discussion is what's needed. You know, like grown ups?
Not spreadsheets.
That spreadsheet made me LOL. What a loser. He should have talked to her about it face to face. But her excuses were shit and she shouldn't have posted it on reddit. Three times in seven weeks is just bad.
Do you really think he just made this without ever attempting to broach the subject before?
It seems obvious to me it's a last straw scenario, like he's tried to talk about it and got the lines of, "we have sex all the time, we did it twice last week, it's not all about sex etc." These are classic lines in sexless relationships, look on any marriage forum and you'll find them all over the place. People don't like admitting there's a problem, and this was his way of saying "look, there's an effing problem"
Also, where does it say he comes in the room and just says, "let's have sex"
Some of you are just proving the double standard. It's so blatant to see yet you'll deny it to the cows come home.
Ah, so sex is an 'obligation'?
I'd be well shot of a partner who described it as such.
It shouldn't be.
It should be something freely shared between two consenting people and when it goes wrong, frank discussion is what's needed. You know, like grown ups?
Not spreadsheets.
OK OK, obligation might be abit strong, but surely you accept that when you marry someone you both commit to certain things.
Saying this, I don't really expect anyone to have sex if they don't want to, so it's more like, if someone no longer wants sex with their other half, they should try and work at it, or just say it's over.
Comments
Well you were off the mark by quite some distance, so thought I'd point that out to you.
What does marriage entitle you to then? Please enlighten me.
Do you really need to use CAPS LOCK so often when writing a message, It's giving me a migraine.
It doesn't entitle you to anything your partner isn't willing to give. Marriage isn't about entitilement.
Are you suggesting it does entitle you to sex when your partner's not up for it? The law changed on that one a while ago.
Sorry. But if it's any consolation, I never use caps lock. I just use the caps when I feel like shouting. Caps lock leads to awful mistakes.
It is true.
You'd hear, he can't satisfy his wife etc... she's entitled to seek it elsewhere, he's a failure in bed etc etc... he must be gay... he's selfish... he must be cheating..
I really can't imagine a scenario where a bloke is repeatedly refusing to sleep with his wife, despite being perfectly able to, and all these folk jumping up and calling the woman a rotter for asking him.
Sex is not an obligation. Ever. For anyone. In any situation. Ever.
Male or female. If you don't want to have sex you say no. Simple. Married. Single. In a relationship. Sex is not an obligation. Ever.
Sex is something both participants should 100% want. If they don't. It shouldn't happen. You should never feel obligated to have sex with someone just because you married them. Because quite simply, it's not an obligation. Ever.
Nah - Powerpoint slide presentation is what the guy needed. A 20 slide summary of all the reasons that he deserves sex with lots of little animations and the font in comic sans. Nothing as romantic as powerpoint slides.
Still won't put out...? Well, thats what god gave us hands and kleenex for.
But I had one partner (who the man in this story reminds me of) who would want sex when we snuggled to watch TV or when I was doing something, he would whine and sulk and it really put me off sex with him and in the end we hardly had sex and when we did it was just to shut him up for a little while, but back to square one the next day. It was really soul destroying and put me off sex for a while.
We are talking about spreadsheets, not spread on the sheets.
Weird outlook.
Are you in a relationship and, if so, how does this obligation thing work?
And where does it end?
Also, who the **** waits until the next day to shower after going to the gym?
I agree. Just as it is his choice to chronicle it in a spreadsheet and demonstrate to her how absurd her excuses are.
And by the sounds of what she wrote she was lacking a lot of confidence in her own body and if you don't like yourself it's difficult to feel sexy and confident with sex (and before someone clueless says it, no the fact that he wanted to have sex with her doesn't help fix that in her mind!)
So if she doesn't want to have sex what should she do then? Lay back and let him do it anyway? Nice... Anyone can refuse anyone else sex whenever they like.
She probably didn't communicate with him well enough to tell him how she was feeling and why she didn't want sex. That's poor in a relationship because you should be able to talk. But waiting to send her a spreadsheet when she was going away? That's beyond childish on his part and very self entitled. Very 'why won't you give me sex?' rather than asking her what's actually wrong.
In my experience with women, the answer to that question is normally " there is nothing wrong" while simultaneously sucking a strong citrus fruit of some kind
Do you make sure she feels attractive/sexy? Sometimes women just don't want to do it because they don't feel sexy enough.
Offer her a massage, run her a bath, or even make it a bit more blatant and suggest some some quality time? But make the bloody effort, don't just grope her on the sofa why she isn't expecting it or ask her if the fancies sex when she is just in from the gym!
Ah, so sex is an 'obligation'?
I'd be well shot of a partner who described it as such.
It shouldn't be.
It should be something freely shared between two consenting people and when it goes wrong, frank discussion is what's needed. You know, like grown ups?
Not spreadsheets.
Do you really think he just made this without ever attempting to broach the subject before?
It seems obvious to me it's a last straw scenario, like he's tried to talk about it and got the lines of, "we have sex all the time, we did it twice last week, it's not all about sex etc." These are classic lines in sexless relationships, look on any marriage forum and you'll find them all over the place. People don't like admitting there's a problem, and this was his way of saying "look, there's an effing problem"
Also, where does it say he comes in the room and just says, "let's have sex"
Some of you are just proving the double standard. It's so blatant to see yet you'll deny it to the cows come home.
OK OK, obligation might be abit strong, but surely you accept that when you marry someone you both commit to certain things.
Saying this, I don't really expect anyone to have sex if they don't want to, so it's more like, if someone no longer wants sex with their other half, they should try and work at it, or just say it's over.