Am I being unreasonable? (Please read before saying yes!)
clsyorkshire
Posts: 791 Forum Member
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We have some friends down south - a mother, father, two boys aged 8 and 5, and they have also have a newborn daughter.
They are looking for a weekend away and my wife (half joking in the first instance) asked them on Facebook to stay with us at our house. After a day or so, they have now asked if they can stay. I'm somewhat annoyed that she invited them without talking to me first. More so because now I don't feel like I can say no.
My wife is currently off work as she works in a school but I am very busy and stressed at work and I really value my "chill time" in the evenings and at weekends.
As it so happens, my wife's parents are away so she has suggested we sleep there and our friends and their kids sleep in our house. For the whole weekend though I will feel like we will have to entertain them and obviously feed them, and so on.
I do get on well with them, but am I being unreasonable for considering this to be something of an imposition?
I think if we had a newborn, I wouldn't even consider asking to stay at someone's house. I don't think its fair.
They are looking for a weekend away and my wife (half joking in the first instance) asked them on Facebook to stay with us at our house. After a day or so, they have now asked if they can stay. I'm somewhat annoyed that she invited them without talking to me first. More so because now I don't feel like I can say no.
My wife is currently off work as she works in a school but I am very busy and stressed at work and I really value my "chill time" in the evenings and at weekends.
As it so happens, my wife's parents are away so she has suggested we sleep there and our friends and their kids sleep in our house. For the whole weekend though I will feel like we will have to entertain them and obviously feed them, and so on.
I do get on well with them, but am I being unreasonable for considering this to be something of an imposition?
I think if we had a newborn, I wouldn't even consider asking to stay at someone's house. I don't think its fair.
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Comments
It's an awkward situation, I feel for you
They didn't, your wife offered.
As the other poster said, rather you than me.
They were told they could come stay with you if they wanted. They did want to. and now you get to spend time with your "friends", who you likely don't get to see as often as you would like to. Y
our wife is off work and will entertain them during the day, you just have to turn up for the odd evening meal out or social event which should be relaxing rather than something you have to endure.
How soon is this due to happen ? Is there any possibility that you could find a feasible excuse to tell them they can't come after all ?
It's not that long, it'd be different if it was all week but it will soon be over.
Sorry, but this^
In your position, I'd be less than happy, but other than making excuses or getting to the point, you may have to grin and bear it.
I completely understand why this is not ideal but your wife offered and they said yes. So you just have to deal with it, sorry.
You are being totally unreasonable.
How many times as a kid did you stay with friends and relatives? Or as an adult?
It's payback time and only for a weekend.
Living in Devon we often get visitors. And we always moan and have to clean up and put fresh bedding and towels out and do a big shop at the supermarket.
But the visitors always try and minimise disruption and pay their way.
It's a bonding exercise, it's part of life.
Be of good humour and go with the flow. Your wife will probably shoulder most of the burden (although you could try and help out as much as possible).
So it's your wife who is at fault here. Let it be a lesson to her. Next time say only say it if you mean it - preferably by phone - or don't make the offer at all.
Enjoy the weekend!
No you aren't, I would be annoyed if my OH invited people to stay here without consulting with me
As for entertaining them during the day,anhour orrtwo will suffice as they will be knackered anyway.Just enjoy the weekend for chat etc -but definately go over to the other house for sleep both nights.
It's what I do.
The baby may sleep through the night.
I would make sure you know and agree what time the 5 & 8 year old are going to bed. There is nothing worse than tired children disrupting your evening when they should be in bed.
The moral of the story is never to invite anyone to stay with you unless you're fully prepared for them to take you up on the offer. But then you know that now...
It is only a weekend and you have somewhere else to stay, so you need to look after them, and you don't want to... Are you sure thay are friends, my friends would do anything for me, and back the the other way, when I broke up my my wife, my friend and his family put me up for a few weeks... That what friends do...
Maybe you should question if you are a true friend to them.
So best to plan ahead now - If they have a newborn, they might not want to be out and about the whole time anyway. Leave them a fridge full of basic essentials (milk, eggs, cheese etc) & some take away menu cards, a couple of DVDs for the kids, point out the local shops, plan perhaps one activity and one meal out all together and leave them to sort themselves out the rest of the time. They might just want a change of scenery and appreciate time to chill themselves & I'm sure they'll appreciate your generosity.
Then you can have a good bitch about em after they've gone...
I can think of loads of things worse.
Having your fingernails removed.
A knitting needle being pushed into your ear.
A pickaxe in the scrotum.
Lemon juce or vinegar being squirted into your eyeball.
And many, many more...
Incidentally, just because your wife's invited them to stay doesn't mean you necessarily have to stick around.