It's awful to read this post. Have you tried CBT? My anxiety was very, very specific. I thought I was actually going insane until I eventually wound up in hospital with a suspected heart attack; they couldn't read the heart trace my panic attack was so bad. Then I was referred for CBT and it has, literally, changed my life.
I think many of the posters on here have a distorted view of what real anxiety is. I could (and do) stand up in front of a room full of movers and shakers and speak with confidence. However, five hours later I'd have found a bump on the roof of my mouth and would sit in front of a computer right through the night googling symptoms and diagnosing myself with all sorts while my heart literally pounded in my ears and I was bent in two with chest pain. Every time one of my children mentioned any kind of ache or pain I jumped immediately to the worst possible case scenario, I constantly sought reassurance that they were OK -from medical professionals, family members, friends; all of whom got thoroughly sick of it.
As other posters have said, it is so DEEPLY illogical and uncontrollable - until you get the tools to control it.
Yes I have had CBT which did help. I have also had counselling, hypnotherapy and a short spell in a psychiatric hospital. I was making a steady improvement over the years but it was/is a constant battle to keep in control. My anxiety has got bad over the last few months and has knocked my confidence to pieces. It is a pretend existence. By that I mean that as you have said, your friends, family etc get thoroughly sick of it so you keep it to yourself, wear a mask, and pretend everything is great so as not to lose them.
Yes I have had CBT which did help. I have also had counselling, hypnotherapy and a short spell in a psychiatric hospital. I was making a steady improvement over the years but it was/is a constant battle to keep in control. My anxiety has got bad over the last few months and has knocked my confidence to pieces. It is a pretend existence. By that I mean that as you have said, your friends, family etc get thoroughly sick of it so you keep it to yourself, wear a mask, and pretend everything is great so as not to lose them.
I'm assuming you're on anti-depressants; should you talk to your doctor about trying a different type of medication? I think you have to take it on head-on, if you know what I mean; be determined not to let it take over. Sleep was a big issue for me, because I wasn't really getting any (or not nearly enough) and that makes everything snowball. Maybe you need help with that too. I really hope things improve for you.
This is the crucial factor, surely? What people describe as 'proper anxiety' (for want of a better phrase) is just minior anxiety left untreated or un-confronted and allowed to snowball to the extent that the sufferer just gets inreasingly neurotic. Of course there are instances where traumatic events or genuine systematic stress cause anxiety - serving in Afghanistan or nursing in A&A, for example. However, these are few and far between and don't apply to the vast majority of people.
I remember being newly qualified and managing two finance teams in a new job hundreds of miles from girlfriend, friends and family. The previous controller had been fired so I had no handover period. I knew nobody in the factories or in my teams. I was living in a hotel and had never done this job before or had this level of responsibility. Was I anxious? Well, damn right I was. Worked long hours, had bad dreams every night, sometimes had to get out of the office to get over the tears. I can remember the first time I had to go to London and present annual budgets for both businesses to the senior Group management. I had to leave the building afterwards and miss lunch because I couldn't face company.
However, I realised that I could either give into the anxiety, run back to Cornwall and get a job with less responsibility (and pay and satisfaction) or face up to the challenge and make a go of it. I'm really glad I did the latter. With hindsight, I was being a bit pathetic and I've been in far more difficult situations since and coped far better.
Now I know I'm in danger of sounding like that old Nietzschean saw that 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' but there is a grain of truth in it. Once you start telling yourself that you've got some 'disorder', you're in danger of constructing a narrative for yourself that excuses you from any responsibility for changing your own behaviour. If, whenever you encounter something that makes you uncomfortable, you just wimp out and demand drugs or therapy, you're lost.
Oh gosh where do I start with this? Firstly, very few of us want to put a label on ourselves. The opposite is true. We would rather avoid going to the doctors for drugs etc as that would mean admitting we have a mental disorder. To live daily with a debillitating anxiety disorder means fighting the symptoms, battling through it just to get through the day, only to go through it all again the following day and the following day. Wimping out is not an option. In fact it takes a lot of strength and bravery to get through what would be a normal day for you and most other people. Apologies if it sounds like I am getting at your post but I just want to make it clear that Generalised Anxiety Disorder is a debillitating disorder and can hit anyone at anytime and can have serious consequences for the sufferer and those around them.
I'm assuming you're on anti-depressants; should you talk to your doctor about trying a different type of medication? I think you have to take it on head-on, if you know what I mean; be determined not to let it take over. Sleep was a big issue for me, because I wasn't really getting any (or not nearly enough) and that makes everything snowball. Maybe you need help with that too. I really hope things improve for you.
Thanks for your concern. I appreciate it. No I am not on antidepressants. I have a phobia about any kind of drugs due to ironically having a severe reaction to an anti depressant a number of years ago. I do have sleep issues as you have mentioned which I think goes hand in hand with all my other problems. I do need help as you have mentioned. I was hoping that it was just a blip but I think I need to speak to my gp because reading back what I have written on this topic, I clearly need some additional help.
Fortunately I'm a long way away from that but I'm a changed man from a few years ago so I'm trying to watch it and keep on top of it , I can feel the desire to just shut the door. I know I lie to people when they text or call and tell them I'm busy or out already when in reality in sat alone in the house. In fairness im suffering the last few weeks but I'm hoping it's a bit of a low period that I'll manage to come out of.
Sympathy to you for your situation kiteflyer
And to you too scousemick. My best wishes to you and I hope it is just a blip and you will come out the other end soon. X
I've lived with anxiety and depression for over 15 years now. I am not as bad as I was but that's because I live in a comfort zone, I've never left the country for example, I can't travel on public transport, can't drive a car and when traveling in a car can't travel on motorways or even bridges set me off.
But for the most part I have a job, go to work every day, no one know's I have anxiety. I've muddled by with self help books over the years.
Comments
Yes I have had CBT which did help. I have also had counselling, hypnotherapy and a short spell in a psychiatric hospital. I was making a steady improvement over the years but it was/is a constant battle to keep in control. My anxiety has got bad over the last few months and has knocked my confidence to pieces. It is a pretend existence. By that I mean that as you have said, your friends, family etc get thoroughly sick of it so you keep it to yourself, wear a mask, and pretend everything is great so as not to lose them.
I'm assuming you're on anti-depressants; should you talk to your doctor about trying a different type of medication? I think you have to take it on head-on, if you know what I mean; be determined not to let it take over. Sleep was a big issue for me, because I wasn't really getting any (or not nearly enough) and that makes everything snowball. Maybe you need help with that too. I really hope things improve for you.
Oh gosh where do I start with this? Firstly, very few of us want to put a label on ourselves. The opposite is true. We would rather avoid going to the doctors for drugs etc as that would mean admitting we have a mental disorder. To live daily with a debillitating anxiety disorder means fighting the symptoms, battling through it just to get through the day, only to go through it all again the following day and the following day. Wimping out is not an option. In fact it takes a lot of strength and bravery to get through what would be a normal day for you and most other people. Apologies if it sounds like I am getting at your post but I just want to make it clear that Generalised Anxiety Disorder is a debillitating disorder and can hit anyone at anytime and can have serious consequences for the sufferer and those around them.
Thanks for your concern. I appreciate it. No I am not on antidepressants. I have a phobia about any kind of drugs due to ironically having a severe reaction to an anti depressant a number of years ago. I do have sleep issues as you have mentioned which I think goes hand in hand with all my other problems. I do need help as you have mentioned. I was hoping that it was just a blip but I think I need to speak to my gp because reading back what I have written on this topic, I clearly need some additional help.
And to you too scousemick. My best wishes to you and I hope it is just a blip and you will come out the other end soon. X
But for the most part I have a job, go to work every day, no one know's I have anxiety. I've muddled by with self help books over the years.