This is the crucial factor, surely? What people describe as 'proper anxiety' (for want of a better phrase) is just minior anxiety left untreated or un-confronted and allowed to snowball to the extent that the sufferer just gets inreasingly neurotic. Of course there are instances where traumatic events or genuine systematic stress cause anxiety - serving in Afghanistan or nursing in A&A, for example. However, these are few and far between and don't apply to the vast majority of people.
I remember being newly qualified and managing two finance teams in a new job hundreds of miles from girlfriend, friends and family. The previous controller had been fired so I had no handover period. I knew nobody in the factories or in my teams. I was living in a hotel and had never done this job before or had this level of responsibility. Was I anxious? Well, damn right I was. Worked long hours, had bad dreams every night, sometimes had to get out of the office to get over the tears. I can remember the first time I had to go to London and present annual budgets for both businesses to the senior Group management. I had to leave the building afterwards and miss lunch because I couldn't face company.
However, I realised that I could either give into the anxiety, run back to Cornwall and get a job with less responsibility (and pay and satisfaction) or face up to the challenge and make a go of it. I'm really glad I did the latter. With hindsight, I was being a bit pathetic and I've been in far more difficult situations since and coped far better.
Now I know I'm in danger of sounding like that old Nietzschean saw that 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' but there is a grain of truth in it. Once you start telling yourself that you've got some 'disorder', you're in danger of constructing a narrative for yourself that excuses you from any responsibility for changing your own behaviour. If, whenever you encounter something that makes you uncomfortable, you just wimp out and demand drugs or therapy, you're lost.
Again that's different. As I said I've been a manager of a small team with all the stresses that come with that. I was used to working under pressure in London firms, big bucks, tight deadlines etc. A bit of stress is one thing, it's what can inspire, challenge and get us going. I recognise what you went through and it does not compare to what is a debilitating recognised mental illness. It's the same as comparing someone having the blues to someone who has depression.
What the issue is is that I know my anxiety is irrational, but I can't get past it. When I have tried to I have got worse and it has fed my fear rather than abated it. That is when I realised I needed help. Particularly when off the back of being unable to address it myself and "pull myself together" so to speak I didn't want to live any more. So I take issue over your last sentence - I haven't wimped out or lost. I've recognised that I needed support and sought it out.
Travis, you're being that dude who listens to someone talk about their serious clinical depression and tells them just to think positive, happiness is a state of mind, everyone gets sad sometimes, why not try some exercise, etc.
The thread is about anxiety and my remarks are more aimed at people like the poster who claimed that he/she couldn't give a short presentation to an audience of their peers. As I said, if you start telling yourself that you can't do something pretty easy like that, you can start constructing a narrative for yourself that excuses taking any responsibility to change your behaviour. Add a fashionable polysyllabic 'disorder' label and you're good to go.
I specifically mentioned that there are obviously more serious cases caused by genuinely traumatic events or experiences but somehow you seem to have missed that bit in your eagerness to use your 'hilarious' cartoon.
I get anxiety attacks. At my worst, I experienced them all day every day. As soon as I woke up, that horrible feeling would start, until I eventually fell back asleep. It's not that bad now, fortunately, but it's really held me back. There were times when I couldn't even do my grocery shopping. Once, I did go into town and as soon as I got out of the taxi (buses I still dread), it was as though my legs froze up and I quite literally couldn't move for a while.
Social situations, cinemas, busy shopping centres, all these are a no-no. I can't visit the dentist and even the doctor is a real struggle.
About a year and a half ago, I did a "feel the fear and do it anyway" thing. My grandmother was very ill and needed to see me, so I went to the Netherlands where my family live for the first time in eight years. That meant trains and a flight, and spending 12 days completely out of my comfort zone. On top of that was seeing my grandmother, knowing that it may be the last time, as well as meeting new family members we'd just been reunited with.
My mother and sister wanted to go here and there with me, understandably wanting to make the most of me being there. Needless to say, it all became too much, leading to my worst anxiety attacks in years. This then led to much disappointment on their end, and, sadly, they don't understand it. I'm no fun anymore in their eyes. I should just pull myself together. My aunt, who I'd only met once, was heavily upset when I couldn't make it to a barbeque she'd organised during which she wanted to introduce me to my niece and nephews and other people, which completely wrecked that family relationship before it had even started. They now think I'm a freak.
I'm on the waiting list for one-on-one psychological treatment for PTSD, anxiety disorder and social phobia, but it's a waiting list of over a year. In the meanwhile, I just plod on. I'm doing a University course from home, and am very grateful that I can sit the exams at home as well. I much rather have one person keeping an eye on me for those three hours than sitting in a big room with lots of other students.
The thread is about anxiety and my remarks are more aimed at people like the poster who claimed that he/she couldn't give a short presentation to an audience of their peers. As I said, if you start telling yourself that you can't do something pretty easy like that, you can start constructing a narrative for yourself that excuses taking any responsibility to change your behaviour. Add a fashionable polysyllabic 'disorder' label and you're good to go.
I specifically mentioned that there are obviously more serious cases caused by genuinely traumatic events or experiences but somehow you seem to have missed that bit in your eagerness to use your 'hilarious' cartoon.
You're saying about anxiety what those people say about depression - you're getting it totally wrong in exactly the same way.
And you were wrong about what you specifically mentioned, too - general anxiety without a trigger that you would judge to be sufficiently "genuinely traumatic" does exist, and can be pretty severe. And the cartoon isn't meant to be hilarious, it's 100% serious. That is what you are doing, and it's just as ridiculous when you say it about mental illnesses as it would be if you said it about physical illnesses.
I have always had bad anxiety. It wasn't so bad when I was younger, I was just incredibly shy. But after I was diagnosed with epilepsy at 15 it got increasingly bad. It got so bad that I had to drop out of school because I was terrified of going in. I am scared of buses, busy places, I can't use the phone, can't go to the local shop...it has basically ruined my life for the past 5 years. I rarely leave the house and although my friends say they understand, I don't think they really 'get' it
I had CBT but that didn't help, and now I have just started seeing a hypnotherapist. It's a lot of money, but I hope to god it works!
I have always had bad anxiety. It wasn't so bad when I was younger, I was just incredibly shy. But after I was diagnosed with epilepsy at 15 it got increasingly bad. It got so bad that I had to drop out of school because I was terrified of going in. I am scared of buses, busy places, I can't use the phone, can't go to the local shop...it has basically ruined my life for the past 5 years. I rarely leave the house and although my friends say they understand, I don't think they really 'get' it
I had CBT but that didn't help, and now I have just started seeing a hypnotherapist. It's a lot of money, but I hope to god it works!
A family member of mine had anxiety issues that started having an effect on her leaving the house. Now she won't/can't go out it has turned into agrophobia. She really wants to leave the house but just cannot bring herself to do it.
Been in a host of situations that led to a diagnosed PTSD about a decade ago but I found it something that I could cope with and although difficult I managed to continue my life without too much of an impact.
Then about 4 years ago I was attacked and suffed a serious head injury having been kicked multiple times losing quite a lot of blood , as I've discussed on other threads i was later arrested over the incident and although the case was subsequently thrown out of court the whole thing was a nitemare.
I now suffer from PTSD (which has returned with a vengeance) , depression , I also get tense & angry that's not to mention the physical ailments namely daily headaches for which I take anti-epilisepy meds. So I certainly get it although throughout much of my life I probably didn't get it enough before impacted on me. I'm a bloke in my 40's I'm physically very 'competent' , I've boxed and done MMA training and I'm still a decent build as I find the gym and training eases my worst symptoms when I have the energy and can make myself do it. I'm not the kind of bloke many would immediately picture when you think of depression or anxiety but I certainly suffer from it and it's a nitemare and one that sometimes feels like it'll never end.
My life is crippled by anxiety. Been like this for ten years now and I have made improvements but since late last year, after family issues, I feel like I am rapidly sliding back down. I am having lots of panic attacks again, especially when I am driving, which is not good. Yesterday I decided I would just stay in my house until the end of my days as I can't hack it anymore. It's exhausting, soul- destroying and life ruining. Today, I feel a bit brighter. I haven't been out of my house which is probably the reason why.
If someone had told me ten years ago I would be living like this I would have laughed in their face. I was so outgoing before this hit me. I see people around me going on last minute holidays etc , enjoying life and its killing me that I am letting my fear and anxiety hold me back from living. Believe me I have tried to control it through every way possible, from counsellors to hypnotherapy and basically fighting it from the moment I wake up to I go to bed but I fear I have little to no fight in me any more.
My life is crippled by anxiety. Been like this for ten years now and I have made improvements but since late last year, after family issues, I feel like I am rapidly sliding back down. I am having lots of panic attacks again, especially when I am driving, which is not good. Yesterday I decided I would just stay in my house until the end of my days as I can't hack it anymore. It's exhausting, soul- destroying and life ruining. Today, I feel a bit brighter. I haven't been out of my house which is probably the reason why.
If someone had told me ten years ago I would be living like this I would have laughed in their face. I was so outgoing before this hit me. I see people around me going on last minute holidays etc , enjoying life and its killing me that I am letting my fear and anxiety hold me back from living.
I'm sorry. I find watching a movie or even just typing on here distracts me sometimes if I feel an attack starting.
My life is crippled by anxiety. Been like this for ten years now and I have made improvements but since late last year, after family issues, I feel like I am rapidly sliding back down. I am having lots of panic attacks again, especially when I am driving, which is not good. Yesterday I decided I would just stay in my house until the end of my days as I can't hack it anymore. It's exhausting, soul- destroying and life ruining. Today, I feel a bit brighter. I haven't been out of my house which is probably the reason why.
If someone had told me ten years ago I would be living like this I would have laughed in their face. I was so outgoing before this hit me. I see people around me going on last minute holidays etc , enjoying life and its killing me that I am letting my fear and anxiety hold me back from living. Believe me I have tried to control it through every way possible, from counsellors to hypnotherapy and basically fighting it from the moment I wake up to I go to bed but I fear I have little to no fight in me any more.
That desire I have to stay inside and avoid people I find so frightening , if i feel fine I'll go out and be ok but it's draining I feel like I'm wearing a mask and I'll come home so tired. Sometimes that temptation just to stay in is overwhelming , I literally have to 'force' myself to leave but it's a struggle sometimes.
I'm sorry. I find watching a movie or even just typing on here distracts me sometimes if I feel an attack starting.
Thanks. Most of my panic attacks happen outside of the home but I do use my phone or tablet as a distraction if I can. Obviously cannot do that if I am driving though.
That desire I have to stay inside and avoid people I find so frightening , if i feel fine I'll go out and be ok but it's draining I feel like I'm wearing a mask and I'll come home so tired. Sometimes that temptation just to stay in is overwhelming , I literally have to 'force' myself to leave but it's a struggle sometimes.
Yes, I know what you are talking about. I wear the same mask. I have been housebound through agoraphobia and I am trying not to let myself get to that stage again.
It's quite funny I just spotted this particular post because I've just this minute printed off from the internet a page about The Neurotic Personality....
Anyway to cut a long story short, I've always described myself as a worrier and someone that gets anxious very often, but after reading some of these posts I doubt now that I suffer from the same anxiety. I think (and without consulting the prof opinion of a doctor) that I compusively worry basically all the time, my mood swings are lengendary, I can burst into tears for no apparent reason, I get into real rages and afterwards I realize that I shouldn't have. Ever since a little girl I've suffered with compulsive obsessive disorder. Ranging from checking that my school bag was under my desk several times an hour, to checking at least 8 times that the door was shut, the fridge was shut, the cooker was off, the windows closed, the televisión off (even though deep down I knew they were all off - why was I still staring at them!)
Then there is my compulsive cleaning.
And after reading what I've just printed off about the neurotic personality, I've recognized so much of myself in their words, that obv I must be it....?
I think I've recently started to get panic attacks. I'm not sure really how they are in detail. But what happens with me is for example, if I'm to be late and it isn't my fault, I will suddenly get either very emotional or very angry, and think the worlds against me, feel very much like a victim, probably take it out on whoever is closest, and I suppose in a way I'd feel panic. Because things aren't going my way and I feel I haven't got any control to do anything about it?
Does that mean I'm having a panic attack?
Thanks. Most of my panic attacks happen outside of the home but I do use my phone or tablet as a distraction if I can. Obviously cannot do that if I am driving though.
I had to pull over on the M25 once. I could feel it starting and everything was going hazy and I was in a middle lane. I felt myself go light headed and that wave of fear that makes your skin prickle if you know what I mean. The police were there in mins (once I had pulled over). I started to make an excuse about hearing a funny noise in the car but then started crying. I told them and they were great, put me in the car drove me home and they gave me the number of a tow company to get my car but I had a relative drive out and get it instead.
Yes, I know what you are talking about. I wear the same mask. I have been housebound through agoraphobia and I am trying not to let myself get to that stage again.
Fortunately I'm a long way away from that but I'm a changed man from a few years ago so I'm trying to watch it and keep on top of it , I can feel the desire to just shut the door. I know I lie to people when they text or call and tell them I'm busy or out already when in reality in sat alone in the house. In fairness im suffering the last few weeks but I'm hoping it's a bit of a low period that I'll manage to come out of.
I have General Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia and OCD. So yea i "get it".
Does it effect you if you say you are walking by the side of a road and a large lorry drives by and you just get this feeling? I hope you know what I mean.
I even got it when my brother did a large fart in my room while I was in bed.
I think I've recently started to get panic attacks. I'm not sure really how they are in detail. But what happens with me is for example, if I'm to be late and it isn't my fault, I will suddenly get either very emotional or very angry, and think the worlds against me, feel very much like a victim, probably take it out on whoever is closest, and I suppose in a way I'd feel panic. Because things aren't going my way and I feel I haven't got any control to do anything about it?
Does that mean I'm having a panic attack?
I don't know if I'd call it a panic attack in the way they're normally defined, but it's pretty close, and definitely a symptom of some sort of anxiety disorder, I think. Panic attacks tend to involve physical rather than mental symptoms, but a lot of the diagnosis of stuff is pretty fuzzy.
I've had social anxiety for years and just accept that it is a part of me now. It really hit me in the final years of high school and has severely impacted on my life since then but I have learnt to live with it as best I can. There have been lots of times at work when I have wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow me up, when I've been experiencing intense paranoia and felt totally rubbish which can make saying anything a mammoth task. It's never all bad and I can look back with fondness at some friends I have made in the workplace, but when it gets too much it gets too much.
I had panic and anxiety attacks nearly on a daily basis for a few years. Last year i managed to get them under control and didn't have one for months. Until today. I am now worried sick they will start again like before.
My life is crippled by anxiety. Been like this for ten years now and I have made improvements but since late last year, after family issues, I feel like I am rapidly sliding back down. I am having lots of panic attacks again, especially when I am driving, which is not good. Yesterday I decided I would just stay in my house until the end of my days as I can't hack it anymore. It's exhausting, soul- destroying and life ruining. Today, I feel a bit brighter. I haven't been out of my house which is probably the reason why.
It's awful to read this post. Have you tried CBT? My anxiety was very, very specific. I thought I was actually going insane until I eventually wound up in hospital with a suspected heart attack; they couldn't read the heart trace my panic attack was so bad. Then I was referred for CBT and it has, literally, changed my life.
I think many of the posters on here have a distorted view of what real anxiety is. I could (and do) stand up in front of a room full of movers and shakers and speak with confidence. However, five hours later I'd have found a bump on the roof of my mouth and would sit in front of a computer right through the night googling symptoms and diagnosing myself with all sorts while my heart literally pounded in my ears and I was bent in two with chest pain. Every time one of my children mentioned any kind of ache or pain I jumped immediately to the worst possible case scenario, I constantly sought reassurance that they were OK -from medical professionals, family members, friends; all of whom got thoroughly sick of it.
As other posters have said, it is so DEEPLY illogical and uncontrollable - until you get the tools to control it.
I would recommend CBT too. I haven't had it personally but it was very effective for a friend who had OCD to the point where it was taking over his life.
Does it effect you if you say you are walking by the side of a road and a large lorry drives by and you just get this feeling? I hope you know what I mean.
I even got it when my brother did a large fart in my room while I was in bed.
Perhaps we could rename General Anxiety Disorder as Guff Anxiety Disorder?
Some of the stories on here just make me want to cry.
I hope some of the success stories give you some hope that it can be different.
I get periods when I don't want to engage with anyone, and I will not answer the door or phone or go out. But they are short lived episodes and I cannot imagine how I would cope if they were of a prolonged nature.
Comments
Again that's different. As I said I've been a manager of a small team with all the stresses that come with that. I was used to working under pressure in London firms, big bucks, tight deadlines etc. A bit of stress is one thing, it's what can inspire, challenge and get us going. I recognise what you went through and it does not compare to what is a debilitating recognised mental illness. It's the same as comparing someone having the blues to someone who has depression.
What the issue is is that I know my anxiety is irrational, but I can't get past it. When I have tried to I have got worse and it has fed my fear rather than abated it. That is when I realised I needed help. Particularly when off the back of being unable to address it myself and "pull myself together" so to speak I didn't want to live any more. So I take issue over your last sentence - I haven't wimped out or lost. I've recognised that I needed support and sought it out.
Who mentioned clinical depression?
The thread is about anxiety and my remarks are more aimed at people like the poster who claimed that he/she couldn't give a short presentation to an audience of their peers. As I said, if you start telling yourself that you can't do something pretty easy like that, you can start constructing a narrative for yourself that excuses taking any responsibility to change your behaviour. Add a fashionable polysyllabic 'disorder' label and you're good to go.
I specifically mentioned that there are obviously more serious cases caused by genuinely traumatic events or experiences but somehow you seem to have missed that bit in your eagerness to use your 'hilarious' cartoon.
Social situations, cinemas, busy shopping centres, all these are a no-no. I can't visit the dentist and even the doctor is a real struggle.
About a year and a half ago, I did a "feel the fear and do it anyway" thing. My grandmother was very ill and needed to see me, so I went to the Netherlands where my family live for the first time in eight years. That meant trains and a flight, and spending 12 days completely out of my comfort zone. On top of that was seeing my grandmother, knowing that it may be the last time, as well as meeting new family members we'd just been reunited with.
My mother and sister wanted to go here and there with me, understandably wanting to make the most of me being there. Needless to say, it all became too much, leading to my worst anxiety attacks in years. This then led to much disappointment on their end, and, sadly, they don't understand it. I'm no fun anymore in their eyes. I should just pull myself together. My aunt, who I'd only met once, was heavily upset when I couldn't make it to a barbeque she'd organised during which she wanted to introduce me to my niece and nephews and other people, which completely wrecked that family relationship before it had even started. They now think I'm a freak.
I'm on the waiting list for one-on-one psychological treatment for PTSD, anxiety disorder and social phobia, but it's a waiting list of over a year. In the meanwhile, I just plod on. I'm doing a University course from home, and am very grateful that I can sit the exams at home as well. I much rather have one person keeping an eye on me for those three hours than sitting in a big room with lots of other students.
And you were wrong about what you specifically mentioned, too - general anxiety without a trigger that you would judge to be sufficiently "genuinely traumatic" does exist, and can be pretty severe. And the cartoon isn't meant to be hilarious, it's 100% serious. That is what you are doing, and it's just as ridiculous when you say it about mental illnesses as it would be if you said it about physical illnesses.
I had CBT but that didn't help, and now I have just started seeing a hypnotherapist. It's a lot of money, but I hope to god it works!
A family member of mine had anxiety issues that started having an effect on her leaving the house. Now she won't/can't go out it has turned into agrophobia. She really wants to leave the house but just cannot bring herself to do it.
Then about 4 years ago I was attacked and suffed a serious head injury having been kicked multiple times losing quite a lot of blood , as I've discussed on other threads i was later arrested over the incident and although the case was subsequently thrown out of court the whole thing was a nitemare.
I now suffer from PTSD (which has returned with a vengeance) , depression , I also get tense & angry that's not to mention the physical ailments namely daily headaches for which I take anti-epilisepy meds. So I certainly get it although throughout much of my life I probably didn't get it enough before impacted on me. I'm a bloke in my 40's I'm physically very 'competent' , I've boxed and done MMA training and I'm still a decent build as I find the gym and training eases my worst symptoms when I have the energy and can make myself do it. I'm not the kind of bloke many would immediately picture when you think of depression or anxiety but I certainly suffer from it and it's a nitemare and one that sometimes feels like it'll never end.
If someone had told me ten years ago I would be living like this I would have laughed in their face. I was so outgoing before this hit me. I see people around me going on last minute holidays etc , enjoying life and its killing me that I am letting my fear and anxiety hold me back from living. Believe me I have tried to control it through every way possible, from counsellors to hypnotherapy and basically fighting it from the moment I wake up to I go to bed but I fear I have little to no fight in me any more.
I'm sorry. I find watching a movie or even just typing on here distracts me sometimes if I feel an attack starting.
That desire I have to stay inside and avoid people I find so frightening , if i feel fine I'll go out and be ok but it's draining I feel like I'm wearing a mask and I'll come home so tired. Sometimes that temptation just to stay in is overwhelming , I literally have to 'force' myself to leave but it's a struggle sometimes.
Thanks. Most of my panic attacks happen outside of the home but I do use my phone or tablet as a distraction if I can. Obviously cannot do that if I am driving though.
Yes, I know what you are talking about. I wear the same mask. I have been housebound through agoraphobia and I am trying not to let myself get to that stage again.
Anyway to cut a long story short, I've always described myself as a worrier and someone that gets anxious very often, but after reading some of these posts I doubt now that I suffer from the same anxiety. I think (and without consulting the prof opinion of a doctor) that I compusively worry basically all the time, my mood swings are lengendary, I can burst into tears for no apparent reason, I get into real rages and afterwards I realize that I shouldn't have. Ever since a little girl I've suffered with compulsive obsessive disorder. Ranging from checking that my school bag was under my desk several times an hour, to checking at least 8 times that the door was shut, the fridge was shut, the cooker was off, the windows closed, the televisión off (even though deep down I knew they were all off - why was I still staring at them!)
Then there is my compulsive cleaning.
And after reading what I've just printed off about the neurotic personality, I've recognized so much of myself in their words, that obv I must be it....?
I think I've recently started to get panic attacks. I'm not sure really how they are in detail. But what happens with me is for example, if I'm to be late and it isn't my fault, I will suddenly get either very emotional or very angry, and think the worlds against me, feel very much like a victim, probably take it out on whoever is closest, and I suppose in a way I'd feel panic. Because things aren't going my way and I feel I haven't got any control to do anything about it?
Does that mean I'm having a panic attack?
I had to pull over on the M25 once. I could feel it starting and everything was going hazy and I was in a middle lane. I felt myself go light headed and that wave of fear that makes your skin prickle if you know what I mean. The police were there in mins (once I had pulled over). I started to make an excuse about hearing a funny noise in the car but then started crying. I told them and they were great, put me in the car drove me home and they gave me the number of a tow company to get my car but I had a relative drive out and get it instead.
Fortunately I'm a long way away from that but I'm a changed man from a few years ago so I'm trying to watch it and keep on top of it , I can feel the desire to just shut the door. I know I lie to people when they text or call and tell them I'm busy or out already when in reality in sat alone in the house. In fairness im suffering the last few weeks but I'm hoping it's a bit of a low period that I'll manage to come out of.
Sympathy to you for your situation kiteflyer
I even got it when my brother did a large fart in my room while I was in bed.
It's awful to read this post. Have you tried CBT? My anxiety was very, very specific. I thought I was actually going insane until I eventually wound up in hospital with a suspected heart attack; they couldn't read the heart trace my panic attack was so bad. Then I was referred for CBT and it has, literally, changed my life.
I think many of the posters on here have a distorted view of what real anxiety is. I could (and do) stand up in front of a room full of movers and shakers and speak with confidence. However, five hours later I'd have found a bump on the roof of my mouth and would sit in front of a computer right through the night googling symptoms and diagnosing myself with all sorts while my heart literally pounded in my ears and I was bent in two with chest pain. Every time one of my children mentioned any kind of ache or pain I jumped immediately to the worst possible case scenario, I constantly sought reassurance that they were OK -from medical professionals, family members, friends; all of whom got thoroughly sick of it.
As other posters have said, it is so DEEPLY illogical and uncontrollable - until you get the tools to control it.
Perhaps we could rename General Anxiety Disorder as Guff Anxiety Disorder?
I hope some of the success stories give you some hope that it can be different.
I get periods when I don't want to engage with anyone, and I will not answer the door or phone or go out. But they are short lived episodes and I cannot imagine how I would cope if they were of a prolonged nature.