OP, thanks for starting this thread. My Aunt died at the end of January, so this will be the first Mother's Day that her children will face without her. I must remember to contact them and let them know I'm thinking of them.
My aunt (mum's sister) rang me on the first Mothers Day to see how I was coping and I ended up comforting her, she was in floods of tears. I vowed to stay strong for my children and grandchildren because if ever I cried mum would always say, don't upset youself love. So I knew she wouldn't want me to be upset either.
I really think her children would appreciate a call, it can be a lonely day but have plenty of news ready for them.
I'm one of the lucky one's so far. I am 60, my Mum is 85 and my daughter is 33 and we are all going out for Sunday lunch together along with my 4 year old Grandson. I do try to appreciate my Mum more and more and even at my age dread to think of life without her.
I lost my mum in 2006 (my dad in 1993) and my wife lost HER mum yesterday morning at 4.30.
Sunday is going to be very hard for her, I try to change the TV channel if anything "mother-related" comes on, but when you walk around and the shops are ful of Mothers' Day stuff, It's a bit difficult.
So sorry for your wife and your loss Andy. Please don't try and avoid anything mother related because it will help your wife cry in the way she needs to cry.
The longer she delays it the harder it will be for her.
TBH I don't really excuse what my teachers did as with or without modern PC sensibilities, to me it would be common sense to give it a miss if I had a single child it would upset.
I completely agree. I'm sure it's not essential that children make their cards in school - it's likely that the majority would have a family member to help them at home. I can think of few things more upsetting than having to sit and watch your friends and classmates making cards for their mums when your own mum is no longer around.
My aunt (mum's sister) rang me on the first Mothers Day to see how I was coping and I ended up comforting her, she was in floods of tears. I vowed to stay strong for my children and grandchildren because if ever I cried mum would always say, don't upset youself love. So I knew she wouldn't want me to be upset either.
I really think her children would appreciate a call, it can be a lonely day but have plenty of news ready for them.
My Mum is here with them now, so I'll make sure I speak to them all. My Aunt was my Mum's last remaining sister, so it will be hard for her too.
My mum died 22 years ago and for a very long time I was so angry with her for not being there. Sounds awful but we all grieve in our own ways, don't we?
I think it had to do with what went on prior to her death. I was living abroad and she was supposed to come and visit for Christmas. My then husband suddenly decided that if she came, he would leave home for the duration and ruin my children's Christmas. What do you do? I took the coward's way out and told Mum she couldn't come. She died the next year and I never saw her again.
I think the anger stemmed from not being able to ask her forgiveness for breaking her heart. It took a long time to get over that but I think I've finally forgiven myself and I KNOW she would have done so.
I have a book by Mitch Albom...For One More Day...about losing your mother and the regrets every child - whatever their age - inevitably feels when mum is no longer here. I cried buckets but it is a very cathartic read and I think helped me put everything in perspective.
I didn't get on with my mum at all and she died when I was 18. But for years after that I hated this time of year and avoided the shops because there were signs up everywhere advertising mothers day. A therapist once told me that the actual name for the day is Mothering Sunday, and perhaps I should treat it as a day to mother myself, which I thought was quite a nice way of seeing it.
I now have a lovely stepmum whom I posted a card to this morning and will be having lunch with next week.
My mum died just over 2 years ago. I've been told to remember all the good times we shared but I can't bear to think of them because it is still so painful. I just feel so lonely without her and life just seems so joyless without her. I know she would want me to be happy and enjoy my life but sometimes it is just so hard.
I lost my Mum 15 years ago and I miss her every day. The first few years after she went I couldn't go into shops that sold Mothers Day things but now when I see my daughter with her children being such a good mother I feel that love is never gone it is passed on through the generations. I would give the world to spend one more day with my Mum and I wish I had told her how much she meant to me when she was here.
My mum died nearly 20 years ago now and if anything major happens like the kids passing exams or getting a job the first thought I have still is I must phone mum and tell her. I don't think that will ever go but it is a nice warm thought now rather than a raw painful one.
I lost my mum in 2006 (my dad in 1993) and my wife lost HER mum yesterday morning at 4.30.
Sunday is going to be very hard for her, I try to change the TV channel if anything "mother-related" comes on, but when you walk around and the shops are ful of Mothers' Day stuff, It's a bit difficult.
Hi Andy
The first thing I thought when I noticed you other thread this morning was, how awful for your wife with her mum passing this weekend. It's bad enough any time but this weekend makes it seem worse.
I know you will give all the support you can to your wife, hugs matter more sometimes I find than words. You also need to remeber that it's your loss too.
I once met a friend of my mums who lost her husband the month before and the first thing I did was give her a big hug. She says she will always remember that hug till her dying day. People said kind, considerate and sympathetic things but failed to notice she needed a human touch in the form of a hug. I felt quite humbled when she told me that, she has five daughters. My mum often said she mentioned it a lot to her too when mum was talking about me.
Once again as I said earlier Andy, my sympathy to you all in the family. I'm sure you will be kept busy and that will help.(x)
Wow my Mum is still around and to be honest she drives me slightly bonkers (I love her to pieces though) and this thread has made me want to take a deep breath and appreciate her even when she is driving me bonkers. So sorry for all those who have lost their Mums and thanks for giving me a little perspective again
Wow my Mum is still around and to be honest she drives me slightly bonkers (I love her to pieces though) and this thread has made me want to take a deep breath and appreciate her even when she is driving me bonkers. So sorry for all those who have lost their Mums and thanks for giving me a little perspective again
I was thinking the same thing. Extra *hugs* for all those people who have lost their mums, I can't imagine how difficult it must be.
My mum passed away on valentines day last year after a sudden illness, she was in hospital for a few weeks and seeing her suffer was awful. 3 weeks after she died I gave birth to her 7th grandchild. I am so sad she did not get to meet him.
It was a really hard time, Eric - my son - was really poorly when he was born and nearly died, spending time with him in the neonatal intensive care reminded me so much of the last few weeks spent with my mum surrounded by monitors, alarms, tubes and wires.
He is fine and healthy now than goodness and everyday I show him a picture of Nanny so he at least knows her face.
I miss her so much and it seems to get harder rather than easier as I don't think I grieved properly at the time with everything that was going on. I pick up the phone to ring her some days and then realise that I can't
My mum died at the age of 30, just before I turned 2. There's always been a void since I have no memories of her, and I feel desperately sad that she knew she was dying and leaving behind 3 young children.
Luckily I have an amazing stepmum who married my dad a couple of years later and raised us as her own, so I've always had someone to celebrate mothers day with. In fact she visited me this week and brought some flowers and a card for my toddler to give me, as I am a single mum, which I thought was really sweet.
My mother died in 2000, and Mother's Day doesn't mean anything to me, one way or the other. But it is very nice to see a thread started acknowledging not all of us have mums any more.
My mum died in 1998. I was only 12 so Ive never really had a proper mothers day where I could treat her with my own money and do fun things. I really do envy those who can do that, Id do anything for just 1 day.
I get my nan (mums mum) something out of respect and love for her and because my mum isnt here to do that. I know she likes it and I like getting her flowers.
Comments
Three of my friends have lost their Mums this year so more than ever I'm thinking of those not lucky enough to have their Mum's with them x x x
My aunt (mum's sister) rang me on the first Mothers Day to see how I was coping and I ended up comforting her, she was in floods of tears. I vowed to stay strong for my children and grandchildren because if ever I cried mum would always say, don't upset youself love. So I knew she wouldn't want me to be upset either.
I really think her children would appreciate a call, it can be a lonely day but have plenty of news ready for them.
Love to everyone one here not as lucky as me xx
So sorry for your wife and your loss Andy. Please don't try and avoid anything mother related because it will help your wife cry in the way she needs to cry.
The longer she delays it the harder it will be for her.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both. xx.
I completely agree. I'm sure it's not essential that children make their cards in school - it's likely that the majority would have a family member to help them at home. I can think of few things more upsetting than having to sit and watch your friends and classmates making cards for their mums when your own mum is no longer around.
I think it had to do with what went on prior to her death. I was living abroad and she was supposed to come and visit for Christmas. My then husband suddenly decided that if she came, he would leave home for the duration and ruin my children's Christmas. What do you do? I took the coward's way out and told Mum she couldn't come. She died the next year and I never saw her again.
I think the anger stemmed from not being able to ask her forgiveness for breaking her heart. It took a long time to get over that but I think I've finally forgiven myself and I KNOW she would have done so.
I have a book by Mitch Albom...For One More Day...about losing your mother and the regrets every child - whatever their age - inevitably feels when mum is no longer here. I cried buckets but it is a very cathartic read and I think helped me put everything in perspective.
Plenty of extra hugs for your mum too.
I now have a lovely stepmum whom I posted a card to this morning and will be having lunch with next week.
Hi Andy
The first thing I thought when I noticed you other thread this morning was, how awful for your wife with her mum passing this weekend. It's bad enough any time but this weekend makes it seem worse.
I know you will give all the support you can to your wife, hugs matter more sometimes I find than words. You also need to remeber that it's your loss too.
I once met a friend of my mums who lost her husband the month before and the first thing I did was give her a big hug. She says she will always remember that hug till her dying day. People said kind, considerate and sympathetic things but failed to notice she needed a human touch in the form of a hug. I felt quite humbled when she told me that, she has five daughters. My mum often said she mentioned it a lot to her too when mum was talking about me.
Once again as I said earlier Andy, my sympathy to you all in the family. I'm sure you will be kept busy and that will help.(x)
I gave myself alcohol poisoning and was then told by my doctor I would be dead before 30 if it continued.
I now grow my own weed to combat my depression and anxiety that the drink gave me.
It's legal for me to drink litres of booze and make a serious mess outside while breaking the law in so many ways.
Smoking weed in my home makes me feel better than any crap pills from the doctor, while not disturbing others. That's illegal.
Pathetic.
Look at the stats. The number of people that died from a booze problem last year was 12,000.
The number of people that died from a weed problem last year was 0.
Just nuke the world and be done with it.
Wrong thread?
Correct idiot?
Well no. Your first line incorporates yourself into the thread. The rest is merely a moan about the desired legality of drugs.
I was thinking the same thing. Extra *hugs* for all those people who have lost their mums, I can't imagine how difficult it must be.
My mum passed away on valentines day last year after a sudden illness, she was in hospital for a few weeks and seeing her suffer was awful. 3 weeks after she died I gave birth to her 7th grandchild. I am so sad she did not get to meet him.
It was a really hard time, Eric - my son - was really poorly when he was born and nearly died, spending time with him in the neonatal intensive care reminded me so much of the last few weeks spent with my mum surrounded by monitors, alarms, tubes and wires.
He is fine and healthy now than goodness and everyday I show him a picture of Nanny so he at least knows her face.
I miss her so much and it seems to get harder rather than easier as I don't think I grieved properly at the time with everything that was going on. I pick up the phone to ring her some days and then realise that I can't
Luckily I have an amazing stepmum who married my dad a couple of years later and raised us as her own, so I've always had someone to celebrate mothers day with. In fact she visited me this week and brought some flowers and a card for my toddler to give me, as I am a single mum, which I thought was really sweet.
There's not a day goes by that she is not in my thoughts. I'd give my right arm to have her back for just a few minutes.
I don't think you ever actually get over losing a parent - you just learn to live with it.
I know it's a cliché, but Mum is always with me, wherever I go. She's in my heart.
I am sorry for everybody that is missing their Mum right now.
I get my nan (mums mum) something out of respect and love for her and because my mum isnt here to do that. I know she likes it and I like getting her flowers.