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Insulting, patronising or a nice compliment.

[Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,273
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in Advice #1
I've recently starting working in a school, I'm training to be a TA. On my first day at break time I was in the staffroom and a women came in and said....''You only look like a bit of a kid yourself, what you doing in here?'' I laughed and joked...''I'll take that as a compliment''. She got her drink and walked out.

I know it sounds daft but that comment has made me all self concious now. Usually I'd be chuffed to bits at someone saying I looked young but in that context I found it a bit rude. Am I being silly?

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    GetMeOuttaHereGetMeOuttaHere Posts: 17,357
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    #2
    Depends on the tone she used, although as she didn't expand the conversation it could suggest she was being less than complimentary. Then again staff in schools are always very busy, you could have caught her on the run. I wouldn't take it too personally.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,273
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    #3
    GetMeOuttaHere wrote: »
    Depends on the tone she used, although as she didn't expand the conversation it could suggest she was being less than complimentary. Then again staff in schools are always very busy, you could have caught her on the run. I wouldn't take it too personally.


    It wasn't really in a jokey tone at all, it was a bit strange to be honest.
    I guess it's easy to take things the wrong way when you dont know someones personality though.
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    CaminoCamino Posts: 13,029
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    #4
    Who was she exactly? Just see what she is like in the future it may just be how she talks to people.
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    SystemSystem Posts: 2,096,970
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    #5
    Sounds like a bitchy comment to me, not a joke at all. I'd wait for the next encounter with her to see how she behaves before making a judgement.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 13,717
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    #6
    GOGO2 wrote: »
    I've recently starting working in a school, I'm training to be a TA. On my first day at break time I was in the staffroom and a women came in and said....''You only look like a bit of a kid yourself, what you doing in here?'' I laughed and joked...''I'll take that as a compliment''. She got her drink and walked out.

    I know it sounds daft but that comment has made me all self concious now. Usually I'd be chuffed to bits at someone saying I looked young but in that context I found it a bit rude. Am I being silly?
    She doesn't know you, so it was a rather personal comment to make to a stranger - for all she knew, you could have had a condition that makes you look a lot younger than you are & you could be sensitive about that. By the same token, you don't know her either - maybe she was just being friendly but it didn't come across as friendly as it should have because she didn't stop for a chat & was rushing to go somewhere else.

    I'd let it go. You'll get to know her or know about her in due course. If she continues to make comments that you find uncomfortable & especially if it's only you she's doing it to, have a quiet word with her & explain that you'd prefer her to stop doing it & why. :)
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 13,717
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    #7
    Deleted - double post.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 26,853
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    #8
    Don't sweat the small stuff.

    It will become clear as you get to know people, when they are joking/being friendly and when they are not.
    Also whether they tend to be bitchy or nice etc etc.

    It would be a shame to judge this person on one comment.

    If it turns out that she was being insulting and is this type of person, then you can think again.

    For now, I would take it as a compliment simply because thats the easiest way to live with it based on lack of personal knowledge.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,871
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    #9
    I wouldn't take any notice, people say daft things all the time without thinking.
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    RebelScumRebelScum Posts: 16,008
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    #10
    GOGO2 wrote: »
    I've recently starting working in a school, I'm training to be a TA. On my first day at break time I was in the staffroom and a women came in and said....''You only look like a bit of a kid yourself, what you doing in here?'' I laughed and joked...''I'll take that as a compliment''. She got her drink and walked out.

    I know it sounds daft but that comment has made me all self concious now. Usually I'd be chuffed to bits at someone saying I looked young but in that context I found it a bit rude. Am I being silly?

    I think you'll need to develop a much thicker skin if you want to work in a school. Dont mean that in a nasty way :)

    Of course if you want to "repay the compliment" to her, next time you see her in the staffroom, before you get your drink and walk out, you can say something like "I though this was a school not an old people's home".
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,640
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    #11
    I'd say she was being nice and not to worry, its the childrens comments you need to worry about far more cutting
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,273
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    #12
    RebelScum wrote: »
    I think you'll need to develop a much thicker skin if you want to work in a school. Dont mean that in a nasty way :)

    Of course if you want to "repay the compliment" to her, next time you see her in the staffroom, before you get your drink and walk out, you can say something like "I though this was a school not an old people's home".

    Haha no I wouldn't do that :D.
    I'm ust going to asume (untill I know otherwise) that she was being nice, it is quite flatering really. If she wasn't then she's the one with the problem not me.

    Admittedly I dont have a very thick skin. I'm working with little kids though so the ''cutting'' comments they come out with usually make me chuckle, to myself obviously, as far as they're concerned I'm livid! :D
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    academiaacademia Posts: 18,225
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    #13
    She probably came into the staffroom and thought you were a pupil. This happens all the time in staffrooms when the new teachers and TAs start. I wouldn't bother about it.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,228
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    #14
    academia wrote: »
    She probably came into the staffroom and thought you were a pupil. This happens all the time in staffrooms when the new teachers and TAs start. I wouldn't bother about it.
    I think the OP is working in a primary school.. so I don't think it is possible to mistake her for one of the pupils!!!!
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    iamhumaniamhuman Posts: 2,197
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    #15
    Unless of course the OP had a plastic tray with a small portion of chips, a small cake and a little carton of milk with a straw coming out lolol.
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    Sun_BeamSun_Beam Posts: 11,600
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    #16
    As someone else said, all depending on her tone, I'd take that an an insult, like she was belittling me. I'd be wary of this woman, and if she made similar comments again, or made you feel uncomfortable in any way, tackle her over it as you dont need to be spoken to in that manner.
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