Marlon made no mention of 'heaven' to April when trying to explain what had happened to Donna but it's a sure bet the funeral will be held in the church.
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Perhaps he should have said to April "But mummy was a bad person so she'll go to hell where she will burn in flames for all eternity and the same will happen to you if you don't do your schoolwork".
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Perhaps he should have said to April "But mummy was a bad person so she'll go to hell where she will burn in flames for all eternity and the same will happen to you if you don't do your schoolwork".
I’d agree with that Mo, honesty is usually the best policy I find.
He should have described Donna’s death to April in great detail, and reminded her what a watermelon looks like when you smash it onto the floor.
An actual demonstration would have been rather handy.
That’s what mummy looks like now, he should have said.
Then he should have had her draw a picture of it for Bob, after handing her a fresh box of red crayons.
He should also tell Ashley and Vicar-of-Dibley that he wants Donna’s gravestone to accurately reflect her life, namely with the following inscription … “Here lies a thief, a liar, an adulteress, a murderer, and a bent copper.”
Marlon made no mention of 'heaven' to April when trying to explain what had happened to Donna but it's a sure bet the funeral will be held in the church.
He should also tell Ashley and Vicar-of-Dibley that he wants Donna’s gravestone to accurately reflect her life, namely with the following inscription … “Here lies a thief, a liar, an adulteress, a murderer, and a bent copper.”
It’s for the best when all’s said and done mate.
A fair and considered summation of selfish Donna, UQ.
It's difficult to know how the kids at school will react when April does her show and tell after the summer holidays. On the one hand no one likes a coppers kid, but on the other hand she's got murderous genes so maybe they won't trouble her too much.
I’d agree with that Mo, honesty is usually the best policy I find.
He should have described Donna’s death to April in great detail, and reminded her what a watermelon looks like when you smash it onto the floor.
An actual demonstration would have been rather handy.
That’s what mummy looks like now, he should have said.
Then he should have had her draw a picture of it for Bob, after handing her a fresh box of red crayons.
He should also tell Ashley and Vicar-of-Dibley that he wants Donna’s gravestone to accurately reflect her life, namely with the following inscription … “Here lies a thief, a liar, an adulteress, a murderer, and a bent copper.”
It’s for the best when all’s said and done mate.
OMG Unc! You often make me blush for one reason or another, but never before at such utterly shameless, callous crassness as this!
Soon as I stop giggling, you can expect a serious talking to. >:( (:D)
Where do you want a funeral for someone who doesn't believe to be held exactly?
It is incredibly hypocritical that people get married in churches and have funerals and burials in churches if they don't believe in God. There should be another set up for funerals.
It is incredibly hypocritical that people get married in churches and have funerals and burials in churches if they don't believe in God. There should be another set up for funerals.
That's true enough.
The last time I was in a church was when I fell through the ruddy roof of one, after climbing up there to pinch the lead.
It is incredibly hypocritical that people get married in churches and have funerals and burials in churches if they don't believe in God. There should be another set up for funerals.
Its just as hypocritical for Churches to allow non-worshippers have their marriages, funerals/burials in their buildings purely for financial reasons.
Ultimately, if everyone's happy, what's the problem?
I’d agree with that Mo, honesty is usually the best policy I find.
He should have described Donna’s death to April in great detail, and reminded her what a watermelon looks like when you smash it onto the floor.
An actual demonstration would have been rather handy.
That’s what mummy looks like now, he should have said.
Then he should have had her draw a picture of it for Bob, after handing her a fresh box of red crayons.
He should also tell Ashley and Vicar-of-Dibley that he wants Donna’s gravestone to accurately reflect her life, namely with the following inscription … “Here lies a thief, a liar, an adulteress, a murderer, and a bent copper.”
It’s for the best when all’s said and done mate.
Kids tend to respect honesty, UQ. It's the only way.
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Perhaps he should have said to April "But mummy was a bad person so she'll go to hell where she will burn in flames for all eternity and the same will happen to you if you don't do your schoolwork".
I would not put the above past Moron. Mr oh so holier than thou.
It is incredibly hypocritical that people get married in churches and have funerals and burials in churches if they don't believe in God. There should be another set up for funerals.
I thought you had to be baptised to be able to have a church burial and be buried in church grounds. maybe times have changed.
It is also why babies often get baptised in hosp if there is a chance they will die as they would not be allowed to be buried if they weren't.
always what. i was let to believe i may be wrong
as someone else said theres always the local crem.
I'm reading up on it you don't have to if you get buried in a normal cemetry but u cant be buried in church grounds without being baptised.
Where do you want a funeral for someone who doesn't believe to be held exactly?
You can have humanitarian (so no religion at all) services in a crematorium (went to one a couple of years ago) and I assume there is some way to allow them to be buried rather than cremated but of course that is likely to be in a church yard.
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Perhaps he should have said to April "But mummy was a bad person so she'll go to hell where she will burn in flames for all eternity and the same will happen to you if you don't do your schoolwork".
Wow, well that certainly is cruel to be kind. It might stop her constantly asking to be taken to her though!
All joking aside, they explained it to April really badly - all that "gone to fight bad peopke in the sky" business. No wonder the poor little mite doesn't understand why she can't go up to the sky too or Mummy doesn't just come back after finishing fighting the bad guys like she did when she went to work each day.
Maybe they could take her to the vets to see an animal put to sleep and then just explain Mummy's gone to sleep the same way? Or is that cruel?
I thought you had to be baptised to be able to have a church burial and be buried in church grounds. maybe times have changed.
It is also why babies often get baptised in hosp if there is a chance they will die as they would not be allowed to be buried if they weren't.
always what. i was let to believe i may be wrong
as someone else said theres always the local crem.
I'm reading up on it you don't have to if you get buried in a normal cemetry but u cant be buried in church grounds without being baptised.
TechnicalLy speaking you are right (also that you should reside in the Parish, be a regular church goer, in the case of funerals not have committed suicide) but I think most churches have slackened the rules a lot partly just to be kind but more because they need the money and to make weddings in particular more attractive in this competitive market of civil ceremonies at hotels etc.
Wow, well that certainly is cruel to be kind. It might stop her constantly asking to be taken to her though!
All joking aside, they explained it to April really badly - all that "gone to fight bad peopke in the sky" business. No wonder the poor little mite doesn't understand why she can't go up to the sky too or Mummy doesn't just come back after finishing fighting the bad guys like she did when she went to work each day.
Maybe they could take her to the vets to see an animal put to sleep and then just explain Mummy's gone to sleep the same way? Or is that cruel?
It would certainly be cruel if the animal was fit and well.:o
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Perhaps he should have said to April "But mummy was a bad person so she'll go to hell where she will burn in flames for all eternity and the same will happen to you if you don't do your schoolwork".
I'll sort R April out good and proper. I haven't had kids yet but I know how to deal with them as I used to be one.
1) Tell her we're going to see what mummy did, like a day out. She can dress up like a police officer if she wants.
2) Spend the morning painting two hard boiled eggs, one with all pretty brunette hair and nice eyes, very shapely, a rather pert rear... >:( That one is mine. She can do one with straggly hair and a predator grin on it or something.
3) Tell April to tape 'em together for authenticity.
4) After a nice bit of stilton and crackers for lunch, maybe a glass of wine to smooth out the nerves and an ice cold beer for me, take her out in the car. We can probably steal one with no repercussions.
5) Take her to the nearest multi-storey car park. Then I'd tell her, in no uncertain terms, that her mother, though hot, took a mans life and this is how she did it.
6) Proceed to fling the two eggs over the edge of the building.
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Perhaps he should have said to April "But mummy was a bad person so she'll go to hell where she will burn in flames for all eternity and the same will happen to you if you don't do your schoolwork".
I’d agree with that Mo, honesty is usually the best policy I find.
He should have described Donna’s death to April in great detail, and reminded her what a watermelon looks like when you smash it onto the floor.
An actual demonstration would have been rather handy.
That’s what mummy looks like now, he should have said.
Then he should have had her draw a picture of it for Bob, after handing her a fresh box of red crayons.
He should also tell Ashley and Vicar-of-Dibley that he wants Donna’s gravestone to accurately reflect her life, namely with the following inscription … “Here lies a thief, a liar, an adulteress, a murderer, and a bent copper.”
It’s for the best when all’s said and done mate.
Have ever considered becoming a bereavement counsellor, UQ?
I'll sort R April out good and proper. I haven't had kids yet but I know how to deal with them as I used to be one.
1) Tell her we're going to see what mummy did, like a day out. She can dress up like a police officer if she wants.
2) Spend the morning painting two hard boiled eggs, one with all pretty brunette hair and nice eyes, very shapely, a rather pert rear... >:( That one is mine. She can do one with straggly hair and a predator grin on it or something.
3) Tell April to tape 'em together for authenticity.
4) After a nice bit of stilton and crackers for lunch, maybe a glass of wine to smooth out the nerves and an ice cold beer for me, take her out in the car. We can probably steal one with no repercussions.
5) Take her to the nearest multi-storey car park. Then I'd tell her, in no uncertain terms, that her mother, though hot, took a mans life and this is how she did it.
6) Proceed to fling the two eggs over the edge of the building.
Comments
At home like in America perhaps
I’d agree with that Mo, honesty is usually the best policy I find.
He should have described Donna’s death to April in great detail, and reminded her what a watermelon looks like when you smash it onto the floor.
An actual demonstration would have been rather handy.
That’s what mummy looks like now, he should have said.
Then he should have had her draw a picture of it for Bob, after handing her a fresh box of red crayons.
He should also tell Ashley and Vicar-of-Dibley that he wants Donna’s gravestone to accurately reflect her life, namely with the following inscription … “Here lies a thief, a liar, an adulteress, a murderer, and a bent copper.”
It’s for the best when all’s said and done mate.
And your point is?
A fair and considered summation of selfish Donna, UQ.
It's difficult to know how the kids at school will react when April does her show and tell after the summer holidays. On the one hand no one likes a coppers kid, but on the other hand she's got murderous genes so maybe they won't trouble her too much.
Soon as I stop giggling, you can expect a serious talking to. >:( (:D)
It is incredibly hypocritical that people get married in churches and have funerals and burials in churches if they don't believe in God. There should be another set up for funerals.
That's true enough.
The last time I was in a church was when I fell through the ruddy roof of one, after climbing up there to pinch the lead.
Its just as hypocritical for Churches to allow non-worshippers have their marriages, funerals/burials in their buildings purely for financial reasons.
Ultimately, if everyone's happy, what's the problem?
The local Crem caters for everyone.
Kids tend to respect honesty, UQ. It's the only way.
I would not put the above past Moron. Mr oh so holier than thou.
I thought you had to be baptised to be able to have a church burial and be buried in church grounds. maybe times have changed.
It is also why babies often get baptised in hosp if there is a chance they will die as they would not be allowed to be buried if they weren't.
always what. i was let to believe i may be wrong
as someone else said theres always the local crem.
I'm reading up on it you don't have to if you get buried in a normal cemetry but u cant be buried in church grounds without being baptised.
You can have humanitarian (so no religion at all) services in a crematorium (went to one a couple of years ago) and I assume there is some way to allow them to be buried rather than cremated but of course that is likely to be in a church yard.
Wow, well that certainly is cruel to be kind. It might stop her constantly asking to be taken to her though!
All joking aside, they explained it to April really badly - all that "gone to fight bad peopke in the sky" business. No wonder the poor little mite doesn't understand why she can't go up to the sky too or Mummy doesn't just come back after finishing fighting the bad guys like she did when she went to work each day.
Maybe they could take her to the vets to see an animal put to sleep and then just explain Mummy's gone to sleep the same way? Or is that cruel?
TechnicalLy speaking you are right (also that you should reside in the Parish, be a regular church goer, in the case of funerals not have committed suicide) but I think most churches have slackened the rules a lot partly just to be kind but more because they need the money and to make weddings in particular more attractive in this competitive market of civil ceremonies at hotels etc.
It would certainly be cruel if the animal was fit and well.:o
1) Tell her we're going to see what mummy did, like a day out. She can dress up like a police officer if she wants.
2) Spend the morning painting two hard boiled eggs, one with all pretty brunette hair and nice eyes, very shapely, a rather pert rear...
3) Tell April to tape 'em together for authenticity.
4) After a nice bit of stilton and crackers for lunch, maybe a glass of wine to smooth out the nerves and an ice cold beer for me, take her out in the car. We can probably steal one with no repercussions.
5) Take her to the nearest multi-storey car park. Then I'd tell her, in no uncertain terms, that her mother, though hot, took a mans life and this is how she did it.
6) Proceed to fling the two eggs over the edge of the building.
Should do the job.
IMHO, of course.