Emma Chawner - the new Jade Goody? (Part 10)

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  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
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    Mehitabel wrote: »
    Maybe it's an insert that can double as a dart board.

    Ooooooooh, I like the sound of that! It'll be like something out of Viz magazine! :D

    I think I had a dream last night that I lived with the Chawners. I remember trying to surgically remove Jenny from under Phil's arm and him shouting at me with his nostril hair billowing. :p
  • greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
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    So folks , is tomorrow the great Chawner tells all day, or will Phil come up with yet another excuse as to why they are not in Closer this week.could it be the Jug has taken out a straining order,or the magazine realised the truth about them and decided they're not the kind of people they want
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
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    greengran wrote: »
    So folks , is tomorrow the great Chawner tells all day, or will Phil come up with yet another excuse as to why they are not in Closer this week.could it be the Jug has taken out a straining order,or the magazine realised the truth about them and decided they're not the kind of people they want

    I'm going to be up bright and early to go get my copy!! (or just shuffle about in the shop looking rather dodgy!) :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 137
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    Sorry of I've been missed but you'll never guess what happened!

    There I was, driving my open sided lorry through Blackburn (as you do) and I came across a beached whale pod! No amount of honking would shift them, I've been on to Greenpeace and they're on their way, phew.

    And how many of us actually flicked through Closer in our local paper shops this week without buying?!! I have to admit, I was so embarrassed that I hid mine in a copy of Razzle.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 22,198
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    Trifle? wrote: »
    Sorry of I've been missed but you'll never guess what happened!

    There I was, driving my open sided lorry through Blackburn (as you do) and I came across a beached whale pod! No amount of honking would shift them, I've been on to Greenpeace and they're on their way, phew.

    And how many of us actually flicked through Closer in our local paper shops this week without buying?!! I have to admit, I was so embarrassed that I hid mine in a copy of Razzle.

    I did, and will be scanning it cover to cover tomorrow: :p But dont worry, it's the only shop in the village and is the centre of all gossip and rumours. So the Chawners would be way down the list of interesting things when you've got Mrs X having an affair with someone young enough to be her son . Not to mention all sorts of titbits. You never go to the shop unless you've got at least half an hour to gossip.

    Will let you all know tomorrow lunchtime, if you can hang on that long. :D
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
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    tally wrote: »
    I did, and will be scanning it cover to cover tomorrow: :p But dont worry, it's the only shop in the village and is the centre of all gossip and rumours. So the Chawners would be way down the list of interesting things when you've got Mrs X having an affair with someone young enough to be her son . Not to mention all sorts of titbits. You never go to the shop unless you've got at least half an hour to gossip.

    Will let you all know tomorrow lunchtime, if you can hang on that long. :D

    I know how that feels! The gossip stops when I enter the shop as I'm still an outsider in the village ;)

    I seen an advert earlier and this weeks Closer will indeed have an insert. I assume it has something to do with their "first ever New You Special..." which will be a thrilling read, I'm sure :D :cool: *crosses fingers and hopes that the plane/boat that brings the papers makes it to the island despite the Audrey-esque winds*
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    The Closer article has to be the biggest load of cobblers I have ever read!
  • lotty27lotty27 Posts: 17,858
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    Well here it is in all it's glory folks!:


    http://www.closeronline.co.uk/RealLife/Reallifestories/the-chawner-sisters-sam-and-emma-weve-got-jobs-at-last.aspx



    Same old same old. No mention of the court case. Still insist they're eating healthily (even though Emma looks as big as Sam nowadays) and that they're not scroungers - Sam has a job (but was on sick leave the last time we checked but of course no mention of that in the article) and Emma does 5 or 6 peoples hair a week (REALLY busy eh? :rolleyes: Especially as 2 of those are probably her parents! :D) Oh and they're doing the Sue Ryder run in September with their dad - of course you are! :rolleyes:

    Most surprising? Apparently they've got a HUGE fan base in Japan! First I've heard about these Japanese fans :confused: They're involved in a reality TV programme there - unless of course that's just Chawnerspeak for 'the Bio Channel have sold the programmes to Japan' . I take it the NZ ones have finally got wise to them then ;)
  • MehitabelMehitabel Posts: 936
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    lotty27 wrote: »
    Well here it is in all it's glory folks!:


    http://www.closeronline.co.uk/RealLife/Reallifestories/the-chawner-sisters-sam-and-emma-weve-got-jobs-at-last.aspx



    Same old same old. No mention of the court case. Still insist they're eating healthily (even though Emma looks as big as Sam nowadays) and that they're not scroungers - Sam has a job (but was on sick leave the last time we checked but of course no mention of that in the article) and Emma does 5 or 6 peoples hair a week (REALLY busy eh? :rolleyes: Especially as 2 of those are probably her parents! :D) Oh and they're doing the Sue Ryder run in September with their dad - of course you are! :rolleyes:

    Most surprising? Apparently they've got a HUGE fan base in Japan! First I've heard about these Japanese fans :confused: They're involved in a reality TV programme there - unless of course that's just Chawnerspeak for 'the Bio Channel have sold the programmes to Japan' . I take it the NZ ones have finally got wise to them then ;)

    Can't wait to read the comments after people get to read the article. What a bunch of bull....!

    Thanks, Lotty, for posting the link.
  • AlberonAlberon Posts: 482
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    Total load of cobblers from the first line to the last, not that I expected anything else. I expect this Japanese reality show is one of Phil's Facebook 'friends' playing another joke, though I'd love to see them on that Japanese game show Endurance Clive James used to highlight.

    Audrey has beaten breast cancer before?!? Yes... by never having it in the first place!
  • Saltydog1955Saltydog1955 Posts: 4,134
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    If that picture with Sam in the blue dress is a recent one, they both look fatter than ever.
    but they’re addressing those with sensible diets and regular exercise.

    My left bumcheek they are.:rolleyes:
    Now, however, Emma claims: “We both pretty much eat the same – a banana and yoghurt for breakfast, salad for lunch and a WeightWatchers cottage pie for dinner.”

    Do they barmcake.;)

    Wonder how much Closer paid them for that load of old horseshit, and will it muck up their money?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,204
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    The picture of Sam and Emma is scary, they are both so huge now. Emma is definitely bigger than a size 20, she was claiming size 16 a couple of years back at 15 stone... I'm not sure if Sam's fringe is flattering or not. For the first time I've noticed how much they do look like their parents, I didn't think they did before.

    Oh and as for the article, yes what a load of manure it is.
  • Saltydog1955Saltydog1955 Posts: 4,134
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    Both Samantha and Emma are spending time at home at the moment to look after their mum, Audrey, as they’re worried about her health. She’s already beaten breast cancer once, but doctors are concerned it may have come back. She was awaiting the results of a mammogram when Closer went to press.

    http://www.closeronline.co.uk/RealLife/Reallifestories/the-chawner-sisters-sam-and-emma-weve-got-jobs-at-last.aspx

    Why do they have to stay at home when Phil is supposed to be her carer? He's getting paid by the state for doing it so why do Sam 'n Emma have to be there too? Wasn't it candida and not cancer anyway, so why is she going for a mammogram? I wonder what their local health trust does as far as regular mammograms for women over 50. Mine does them once every three years, so If things are the same in their area, Audrey should have at at least three by now.
  • MehitabelMehitabel Posts: 936
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    Why do they have to stay at home when Phil is supposed to be her carer? He's getting paid by the state for doing it so why do Sam 'n Emma have to be there too? Wasn't it candida and not cancer anyway, so why is she going for a mammogram? I wonder what their local health trust does as far as regular mammograms for women over 50. Mine does them once every three years, so If things are the same in their area, Audrey should have at at least three by now.

    These are all part of life's mysteries when it comes to the Chawners. Magazines like Closer tend to straddle the line between fact and bullcarp. If someone says something more than once, they accept it as truth. I seriously doubt they employ a fact checker.
  • Saltydog1955Saltydog1955 Posts: 4,134
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    lotty27 wrote: »
    Well here it is in all it's glory folks!:


    http://www.closeronline.co.uk/RealLife/Reallifestories/the-chawner-sisters-sam-and-emma-weve-got-jobs-at-last.aspx



    Same old same old. No mention of the court case. Still insist they're eating healthily (even though Emma looks as big as Sam nowadays) and that they're not scroungers - Sam has a job (but was on sick leave the last time we checked but of course no mention of that in the article) and Emma does 5 or 6 peoples hair a week (REALLY busy eh? :rolleyes: Especially as 2 of those are probably her parents! :D) Oh and they're doing the Sue Ryder run in September with their dad - of course you are! :rolleyes:

    Most surprising? Apparently they've got a HUGE fan base in Japan! First I've heard about these Japanese fans :confused: They're involved in a reality TV programme there - unless of course that's just Chawnerspeak for 'the Bio Channel have sold the programmes to Japan' . I take it the NZ ones have finally got wise to them then ;)

    Thanks for posting Lotty. :) I went to Tesco today, but forgot to look for the mag. :o:D

    The FB page for Support The Chawners Coming to New Zealand has gone very, very quiet. ;)
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
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    Simi89 wrote: »
    The picture of Sam and Emma is scary, they are both so huge now. Emma is definitely bigger than a size 20, she was claiming size 16 a couple of years back at 15 stone... I'm not sure if Sam's fringe is flattering or not. For the first time I've noticed how much they do look like their parents, I didn't think they did before.

    Oh and as for the article, yes what a load of manure it is.

    I got the magazine to scan it in for everyone not knowing that it was available online. If I knew, I'd have saved my cash! :D Aye right she's a size 20. I was size 20 for a while and I was nowhere near her size! Has Philth been picking up his sewing needles and changing all the size labels in her clothes to make her feel better?
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    No mention of their recent conviction for despicable bullying of their elderly neighbour I see?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,204
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    I hope Closer didn't pay them :mad: the money will be used to pay all their court fees and compensation.
  • AlberonAlberon Posts: 482
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    tenorlady wrote: »
    No mention of their recent conviction for despicable bullying of their elderly neighbour I see?

    Not in the article itself, but the comments under the online version is a very different matter.

    I'm sure some of them are from regular posters here, but they do go a great deal to counterbalance the steaming pile of gibberish the Chawners said.
  • Saltydog1955Saltydog1955 Posts: 4,134
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    Alberon wrote: »
    Not in the article itself, but the comments under the online version is a very different matter.

    I'm sure some of them are from regular posters here, but they do go a great deal to counterbalance the steaming pile of gibberish the Chawners said.

    The twice posted comments by 'Grandmother' are so outraged it's hilarious! Anyone who's posted nasty comments need to get off their 'pedastools'. As one comment said could it be Phil forgetting to use the spellcheck?

    :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,204
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    Its unacceptable that after all of the help they have had that at least 3 of them weigh about the same as a baby elephant each. That article, what a load of pish its so Pro-Chawner it's like Phil et al dictated what the journalist should write. According to that article for example Emma has only lost 4lb in 3 years (19 st in 2009, 18.6 st in 2012) if they were making a concentrated effort like the claim the weight would be falling off at their size.

    Its mind boggling.
  • MehitabelMehitabel Posts: 936
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    The FB page for Support The Chawners Coming to New Zealand has gone very, very quiet. ;)

    Have you found the FB page welcoming the Chawners to Japan? :D That one should be jumping really soon.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,204
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    The Japanese diet might help them lose loads of weight.
    Though I imagine sushi would repeat on Philth.
  • Saltydog1955Saltydog1955 Posts: 4,134
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    Simi89 wrote: »
    The Japanese diet might help them lose loads of weight.
    Though I imagine sushi would repeat on Philth.

    All that raw fish would go well with the smell of Aud's......well I'll leave that to your imaginations.....*boak* :p
  • auntiemauntiem Posts: 450
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    OMG just read the Closer article online. How bizarre.

    Sam is HUGE - what on earth has she done to herself.

    Will be interesting if one of the tabloids does some digging and finds out the girls aren't really working at all and are still claiming benefits.
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