How do you deal with colleagues you can't stand?
Is ignoring them the best option? Or do you find making an effort to be pleasant more effective?
There's a certain colleague I can't even look at the moment, who has been attempting to 'grass' me up on a regular basis for months, from pulling up my work and sending it to my manager, to taking an extra few minutes on break, to spreading rumours etc.....all very childish. The latest stunt was her listening to a private conversation of mine from a toilet (as you do) and then spreading the gossip around the office within minutes. Final straw for me.
This person has already been confronted and spoke to by management about the above, but moving forward - I'm finding it really hard to be civil to this person.....
There's a certain colleague I can't even look at the moment, who has been attempting to 'grass' me up on a regular basis for months, from pulling up my work and sending it to my manager, to taking an extra few minutes on break, to spreading rumours etc.....all very childish. The latest stunt was her listening to a private conversation of mine from a toilet (as you do) and then spreading the gossip around the office within minutes. Final straw for me.
This person has already been confronted and spoke to by management about the above, but moving forward - I'm finding it really hard to be civil to this person.....
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How did she overhear a private conversation in the toilet?
Be civil, otherwise it just looks as though you might be at fault, and she'll use that against you as well. In fact be pleasant - probably choke you to do it, but all the fault is then in her court.
But do be ultra cautious and guarded about her. Make sure you don't say anything controversial or personal when she is anywhere about. Indeed, ensure you are in a private place where you can't be overheard.
Stick strictly to rules, make sure your work is up to scratch - and then observe her. Watch and wait. Your opportunity will come at some stage.
You couldn't make it up could you? LOL. There's a corridor with the gents, females, and then a separate 'disabled' toilet with it's own door and lock, which she was sitting in and listening through the wall....
Sounds like she is a bit of a nutcase.
Sound advice Blueblade. Thing is, I've been civil for a long time, knowing that this person has been trying to 'stitch' me up, and what's worse is that she's always pretended to be ultra cool and tried to befriend me over our time there, when so when it first came to light, I didn't even suspect this person at all.
It's got to a point now though, where I can barely even bring myself to talk to her, let alone be civil.
I caught somebody a pearler with that a year or two back. She'd copied everybody into an e mail, when she disagreed publicly with something I'd said on a technical matter, and questioned how I knew my interpretation was correct from a technical procedure circular. I simply copied everybody back, notifying her that I was confident my interpretation of the author's guidance was correct, as I was the the author - which I was.
That shut her up :kitty:
(if she'd had the intellect, she'd have realised the bulletin was mine anyway, as it had the month year, and my initials, at the top of the first page)
Yep, that's bang out of order. The person in question does similar to me, but sends through my potentially 'incorrect' customer responses directly to my manager. She does the same to other people too. A bit sad in my opinion....
If it gets to a point where it becomes intolerable, then raise the matter at the next review with your manager. Put your concerns to them - From what you say, I've no doubt they'll be aware anyway.
How frequently does your manager hold 1:1's or general reviews ?
Yep, she's definitely a bit of a nut case, and is very 'toxic' to be around. The thing is though, she's good at pretending she likes you, which means you don't see it coming...
She has a long term sickness problem, which means she rarely gets through a week without going off sick - this has been going on all year. Many think her illness is 'imaginary', including me, so I reckon she's on thin ice anyways.....
I hate the copying-everybody-in, it's a real supercilious attempt to try and look good by running somebody else down in public. Good when it backfires though.
My manager has assured me that she's been 'spoken' to and that he will be having one last 'conversation' with her too about it, so hopefully that might do some good....
One to ones and goal reviews are held monthly....
Yep, all sounds very similar to this person. Her illness is apparently 'anxiety' (which totally contradicts her aggressive and often hyperactive nature) and some sort of stomach pain that seems to come and go throughout each week. She'll be absolutely fine one minute, and then will start walking around the office holding her stomach in pain and putting on a real show. It all looks so dramatic and fake.
Any idea of how your employer finally managed to get rid? Which grounds did they terminate her contract on? Word on the street is that higher management have had enough but can't really prove that she's not actually sick, despite having an internal doctor assess her and claim that he couldn't find anything wrong....
It sounds like this woman is an attention seeker.
At any rate, the great news from your point of view is that your manager is fully aware of the situation, and is obviously monitoring it. The nightmare scenario - which i've seen - is when such an individual has the management team in the palm of their hands.
I have experienced this. In this scenario, the best thing is to start looking for an external job ASAP. You will never win.
Sounds like you're already on the case with it anyway, but the above is the best advice.
Nothing to be gained by doing anything other than pursuing it through the proper channels. From what you've described, it sounds like her conduct is bordering on harassment, and ensuring the company are kept aware of her behaviour is key - they have a duty of care to protect you from such behaviour.
Then gather the evidence, and follow the policy and get rid of her.
I am amazed that she can have so much time off. If it were where I work, she would already be under 'supervised sickness' with a view to controlling her sickness levels.
Gives you a little rosy glow ;-)
Absolutely agree with you. It's usually a childish attempt at making someone feel or look bad. I am sure those others who are decent people who receive these emails think the same.
My other gripe is those offices where people can sit 'gossiping' on instant messengers. It's the ideal tool for nasty gossips and I've seen people caught out being cruel and slagging off people on these things. I'd ban them in any office workplace.
Oh yes, the more advanced sociopaths are a nightmare.
As for the OP if the offender is having lots of time off sick you already have them on the ropes so just stick it out. She will trip herself up.