Congratulations expect the doctors and midwives to keep telling you about it being riskier with you being older, but remember that there are a lot more older mums and dads these days, and the vast majority go on to have completely happy healthy babies.
I met a lovely woman through a breast feeding group who had just had her first at 41, and she had a lovely little girl she absolutely adored.
The thing to remember with all of these risks and tests etc is that the majority of the time, the odds are still in your favour - for example the Down's syndrome testing; you are categorised as high risk with odds of 1:100 or lower, but even so if given those odds you have to think that if you were to line up 100 babies, the odds are that only 1 of them might have Down's syndrome.
As mentioned folic acid is important, and just generally take good care if yourself and try not to get too stressed out.
My friend had a child in her late 30's and made a brilliant mom. However when she was in hospital someone reported her because they thought she was stealing a baby that wasn't hers. Luckily she saw the funny side and was pleased that the hospital had such good security.
41 isn't old, I'm 42 and not old so you can't be :P
Congrats, your bloke will no doubt be over the moon
Hmm. I told him last night and he just went very quiet for a while. He was obviously in shock. He was lovely to me after that but we haven't talked about it properly yet. I think he'll be fine, I know he's a good dad because he is great with his 3 year old.
Mumsnet, once you get past the ridiculous acronyms, will provide a lot of support. People mock mumsnet, but there's some genuinely nice people on the site.
Hmm. I told him last night and he just went very quiet for a while. He was obviously in shock. He was lovely to me after that but we haven't talked about it properly yet. I think he'll be fine, I know he's a good dad because he is great with his 3 year old.
What sort of relationship does he have with the mother of his toddler? That child will be a sibling to your baby.
I'd just like to add my congratulations, Bathsheba. As a women in her 30s who hopes to have children someday, older mum stories always make me feel very happy.
People say older mums are a new concept, but my grandma had my uncle had 42 (although it was her last child, not first). So older mums always existed.
I'd be a bit careful about telling everyone before 3 months just to be on the safe side (and that's the case with any pregnancy, not just an age thing), but it's great to share the news at this early stage with family and close friends.
I'd just like to add my congratulations, Bathsheba. As a women in her 30s who hopes to have children someday, older mum stories always make me feel very happy.
People say older mums are a new concept, but my grandma had my uncle had 42 (although it was her last child, not first). So older mums always existed.
I'd be a bit careful about telling everyone before 3 months just to be on the safe side (and that's the case with any pregnancy, not just an age thing), but it's great to share the news at this early stage with family and close friends.
Aw does that make us all close friends Shappy? That is brilliant. :)
I am sure I will get some comments about this but I wouldn't not like to have a baby in my 40's. Just the thought of starting again with a small baby fills me with dread. This is because I have already raised 2 children which I loved doing but I wouldn't want to do it all over again.
so he's not even with the mother of his 3 year old? in and out of that childs life at the speed of light? ...classy, im sure you love him and think he is wonderful but thats as good as abandoning the other kid, not sure i could settle with a man with a toddler elsewhere, yeh I know I can take a hike with this comment, but its food for thought
I'd just like to add my congratulations, Bathsheba. As a women in her 30s who hopes to have children someday, older mum stories always make me feel very happy.
People say older mums are a new concept, but my grandma had my uncle had 42 (although it was her last child, not first). So older mums always existed.
I'd be a bit careful about telling everyone before 3 months just to be on the safe side (and that's the case with any pregnancy, not just an age thing), but it's great to share the news at this early stage with family and close friends.
Yes, I've looked at my family tree and I have loads of female ancestors who had babies well into their 40s.
I am sure I will get some comments about this but I wouldn't not like to have a baby in my 40's. Just the thought of starting again with a small baby fills me with dread. This is because I have already raised 2 children which I loved doing but I wouldn't want to do it all over again.
It's my first though so I'm going into it blindfolded lol. I wasn't maternal as a younger woman but I fell in love with my nephew and niece when they came along in the last few years.
My mother in law's sister had her first and only son, after a one night stand, aged 49.
:eek: I didn't think that could be achieved without IVF.
I'm not telling my friend that, though. She's been trying for one for years. Only last year that she found out she was entitled to have IVF treatment on NHS, but by then, she was already too old to qualify (she'll be 44 this January). She's also considered too old to be an adoptive parent. So she's quite depressed at the moment. Heartbreaking, really.
so he's not even with the mother of his 3 year old? in and out of that childs life at the speed of light? ...classy, im sure you love him and think he is wonderful but thats as good as abandoning the other kid, not sure i could settle with a man with a toddler elsewhere, yeh I know I can take a hike with this comment, but its food for thought
Well done, you win the Most Passive Aggressive Post of the Day award.
so he's not even with the mother of his 3 year old? in and out of that childs life at the speed of light? ...classy, im sure you love him and think he is wonderful but thats as good as abandoning the other kid, not sure i could settle with a man with a toddler elsewhere, yeh I know I can take a hike with this comment, but its food for thought
Actually she finished with him a couple of years ago because she had met someone else. He has his daughter half of the week, he's a really good dad. There's no way I would have let this happen if I didn't think he was good father material.
Comments
Congrats, your bloke will no doubt be over the moon
You've made an old 40 something very happy
To the Op... Congratulations... don't freak out, everything will be fine xxx
I met a lovely woman through a breast feeding group who had just had her first at 41, and she had a lovely little girl she absolutely adored.
The thing to remember with all of these risks and tests etc is that the majority of the time, the odds are still in your favour - for example the Down's syndrome testing; you are categorised as high risk with odds of 1:100 or lower, but even so if given those odds you have to think that if you were to line up 100 babies, the odds are that only 1 of them might have Down's syndrome.
As mentioned folic acid is important, and just generally take good care if yourself and try not to get too stressed out.
My friend had a child in her late 30's and made a brilliant mom. However when she was in hospital someone reported her because they thought she was stealing a baby that wasn't hers. Luckily she saw the funny side and was pleased that the hospital had such good security.
congratulations!!!
LOL I shouldn't laugh but I did.
Hmm. I told him last night and he just went very quiet for a while. He was obviously in shock. He was lovely to me after that but we haven't talked about it properly yet. I think he'll be fine, I know he's a good dad because he is great with his 3 year old.
People say older mums are a new concept, but my grandma had my uncle had 42 (although it was her last child, not first). So older mums always existed.
I'd be a bit careful about telling everyone before 3 months just to be on the safe side (and that's the case with any pregnancy, not just an age thing), but it's great to share the news at this early stage with family and close friends.
I meant more in the "real world" outside the forums, but we can be close friends if you like.
I'm sure women of all ages are anxious to meet such a mature young man as yourself.
They are civil. I get on fine with his daughter. Her mum had another baby this year with her new partner.
Yes, I've looked at my family tree and I have loads of female ancestors who had babies well into their 40s.
Oh wow, that must have been a shock!
It's my first though so I'm going into it blindfolded lol. I wasn't maternal as a younger woman but I fell in love with my nephew and niece when they came along in the last few years.
:eek: I didn't think that could be achieved without IVF.
I'm not telling my friend that, though. She's been trying for one for years. Only last year that she found out she was entitled to have IVF treatment on NHS, but by then, she was already too old to qualify (she'll be 44 this January). She's also considered too old to be an adoptive parent. So she's quite depressed at the moment. Heartbreaking, really.
Well done, you win the Most Passive Aggressive Post of the Day award.
Actually she finished with him a couple of years ago because she had met someone else. He has his daughter half of the week, he's a really good dad. There's no way I would have let this happen if I didn't think he was good father material.
We weren't using contraception. I thought there was little chance at my age but was leaving it in the hands of nature and he knew that.