Sociologist says celebrating singledom is "wrong"
tghe-retford
Posts: 26,449 Forum Member
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This comes about as a survey from the Office of National Statistics suggest that 1 in 10 people aged between 25-44 is now living alone compared to 1 in 50 in 1973.
Professor Frank Furedi stated in the Telegraph that “...what’s wrong is the celebration of the singleton culture, effectively loneliness,” He criticises those whom have been hurt previously in a relationship, indeed, the type whom state that they would rather be single than in the wrong relationship. The sociologist also states that these people do want a "close relationship".
The same article also has a potentially contentious quote from think tank Civitas. David Green states that young people are "...living alone by choice. Loneliness isn’t being forced upon them..." and that being single is a lifestyle choice.
Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/9916134/Britain-becoming-lonelier-place-to-live.html
The arguments above ignore the fact that there will always be a small number of individuals for whom the concept of a "soul mate" - a fallacious, unrealistic and absurd concept - will never be fulfilled because life ain't perfect for whatever reason. Also ignores the concept of asexuality/aromantic and involuntarily celibacy.
It also niggles at those whom see the family unit as the foundation of a stable society, singledom growing in popularity and numbers seen as a threat to that ideal. Although to be fair, the recently published Daily Mail article on this issue was actually pretty neutral.
Do you agree with both - being single a lifestyle choice that should not be celebrated? Personally I think being single should be recognised as a default choice (ie we are born alone and die alone) and no-one should be made ashamed or guilty of being single, nor should be pressured whether by financial or peer pressure to change their marital status.
We should also take note in future that with more potential austerity forthcoming, that single people may well be a desirable target for cuts, considering the Government's respect for "hard working families".
Professor Frank Furedi stated in the Telegraph that “...what’s wrong is the celebration of the singleton culture, effectively loneliness,” He criticises those whom have been hurt previously in a relationship, indeed, the type whom state that they would rather be single than in the wrong relationship. The sociologist also states that these people do want a "close relationship".
The same article also has a potentially contentious quote from think tank Civitas. David Green states that young people are "...living alone by choice. Loneliness isn’t being forced upon them..." and that being single is a lifestyle choice.
Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/9916134/Britain-becoming-lonelier-place-to-live.html
The arguments above ignore the fact that there will always be a small number of individuals for whom the concept of a "soul mate" - a fallacious, unrealistic and absurd concept - will never be fulfilled because life ain't perfect for whatever reason. Also ignores the concept of asexuality/aromantic and involuntarily celibacy.
It also niggles at those whom see the family unit as the foundation of a stable society, singledom growing in popularity and numbers seen as a threat to that ideal. Although to be fair, the recently published Daily Mail article on this issue was actually pretty neutral.
Do you agree with both - being single a lifestyle choice that should not be celebrated? Personally I think being single should be recognised as a default choice (ie we are born alone and die alone) and no-one should be made ashamed or guilty of being single, nor should be pressured whether by financial or peer pressure to change their marital status.
We should also take note in future that with more potential austerity forthcoming, that single people may well be a desirable target for cuts, considering the Government's respect for "hard working families".
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Comments
A hundred years from now, with 10 billion of us, it will make sense to bring up kids communally, in extended families.
Excuse my selective quoting, but I would point out the irony.
I enjoyed my single years and was never yearning for a soul mate. I got lucky though and he just landed in my life
Agreed.
And if anyone should understand that better than most, it'd be a sociologist, you'd have thought...
With far greater opportunities to function in society alone, you will therefore have a higher number of the populous functioning in society alone.
Whether it's celebrated too much I don't know. People who love living alone will obviously say it's great. Just like those who love being married/etc will say that's great.
Ask someone
I'd rather the populace were less populous. Seriously.
I don't think it's necessarily true more people would prefer to live by themselves.
People just end up living by themselves for many reasons - some for the extra benefits doled out by government, some because they're bored of the regular shite that they seem to get day in day out (the upsurge of massive, industrial scale chavvery in the UK), along with a few people that feel more comfortable alone.
I really think community and connections are important.
But that can be done by singletons although it can be harder.
But the discontented singleton forced into a subservient or 'lesser' role and status isn't a good thing. And is still a very real thing.
It's not a question of 'celebrating' singledom, really, but of acceptance that this happens, and that these people (including me) are valuable in our own right, and as part of community and society.
I'm not seeing the irony either - being single doesn't mean you live outside society, or don't care what society thinks. You still have friendships, colleagues, family etc.
Perhaps I'm having a bit of a slow moment, but I don't see what your point is. Do you see a single person as being separate from society in some way?
I chose to stay out of relationships for three years after a bad break-up - I hadn't been single and living alone before... and it did me the world of good, because I learned about myself as an individual, not all the reflections cast by my relationships.
Sorry, I was being sarky-but-nice: "society" is "other people", hence my cr@p joke
I'm quite a solitary person, so I don't condemn similar people; I do challenge that the alternative to "the family" is being alone.
When my ex husband refused a second child, and then left me anyway, my mother gave me some stupid fridge magnet which said:
'Friends are the family you choose for yourself'.
Meant a lot to me.
I think being single or attached should just be as it is - neither should really be "celebrated". But then I'm not so sure I see either "condition" celebrated really. I'm sure you do get some couples who do get overly loved up and can't help but to let everyone know how much they're loved up, but I don't know, I don't necessarily see that as a 'celebration' I suppose.
Likewise, I certainly don't see someone saying they're happy to be single as 'celebrating'. I certainly have no plans to throw an "enforced celibate and proud of it" party personally
At the end of the day, as Argh! has said, do what works for you.
I suppose where children are not involved neither is superior or inferior, but could be superior in a positive relationship, or inferior in a poor one.
http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/382706/Rise-of-the-single-parent-family
Gary Larson word.