How the hell did this woman ever get a job as a fashion journo?
This comment made me laugh:
Hatcult, Toronto, Canada:
Next time, wear a bra, wear the right size, not 2 sizes too big, put a look on your face that doesn't say...I'm on my way to the hangman's noose. Any one of these outfits can be worn with right accessories and the right attitude.
Spot on!
EDIT: Forgot to say Bravo! to coldcomfort for that excellent post from David's POV :cool::D
M & S must be SO pleased that Lizard has done justice (!) to their new range. That black lipstick really helps, too. Honestly, the DM pic. looks like something from a Halloween Party.
Maybe I'm getting a bit soft in my old age, but I sort of feel sorry for DScrace. OK, OK, he thought hooking up with his old non-girlfriend might have been good for business but oh boy, it's boomeranged back at him spectacularly. The old saying: Be careful what you wish for ...
So far: Lizard has not just cast doubts about his hygiene ... smelling of nicotine, long nails. Dirty laundry not thrown in whatever dirty laundry is supposed to be thrown chez Lizard/Dscrace. Of course, long nails are not necessarily unhygienic (unless they break off in the dough) and unless the nicotine-smelling baker rolls his body in the dough as an alternative to kneading it with machines/ hands, then his smoking habit shouldn't really be an issue.
So lizard has put the boot into his business (his partners/investors must be thrilled) but she's also been so nasty about his ex girlfriend, ex wife, his poor kids ... the children can't have been happy at her comment that he left his wife because he couldn't stand not being the centre of attention when they were born. Charming. This is stuff that Dscrace may have told her, in pillow talk or whatever, but she should not have told the world. Dreadful behaviour. Plus all those digs about his 'forgetting his wallet' etc. and banging on about all the stuff she's bought him ... oh please, woman, we know, we KNOW, you are rich - £1 a word, I believe, which explains a lot ...
Still, what does the DM and MoS care? They permit the ghastly Shona Sibary to write about her kids, including her teenage daughter, with accompanying photographs. Must be such fun for the kids when they go to school, their privacy totally invaded. Surely, please, the DM group has a duty of care to protect children?
Sorry - I digress. As I said, I feel a bit sorry for Dscrase. As the old saying goes, when you sup with the devil, you need a long spoon. Think on, David.
"having endured a sudden drop in income when I emerged from my TV job."
Um, didn't her TV job last about three weeks? Yes, when you finish an engagement you stop being paid for it.... I don't quite think this is what she means? Did she "emerge" to find that she'd been downsized at work?
I suspect the drop in income was due to her sudden disappearance from the weekday Mail - she only seems to have the Dreary and one, maybe two, incoherent rants in the MoS these days. Her Monday fashion farticles (which always seemed to make sense and sounded like they were written by someone else) have vanished since she left CBB.
Maybe I'm getting a bit soft in my old age, but I sort of feel sorry for DScrace. OK, OK, he thought hooking up with his old non-girlfriend might have been good for business but oh boy, it's boomeranged back at him spectacularly...
In some respects I feel sorry too... I've gone back through my life, to live through bad times and ask myself whether there's ever been a time when I'd have been tempted to sell my soul - or at least consider offering it up - to Liz Jones as column-fodder; but the conclusion I've come to is no... not for any money, or at any of the darkest times of my life.
Maybe DScarce had no idea what he was letting himself in for when he hooked up with La Lizard but I still can''t feel sorry for him as he doesn't have to sit at take it like he presumably has been. He comes across as a pathetic, doddery individual with no backbone for letting LJ write about his personal life every week.
Cold Comfort, brilliant! Lot's of nails hit firmly and hysterically on the head there. Good to see that devoted 'animal lover ™' Liz, alledged owner of 113 rescued animals is happily about to put the poor, ailling collie Michael in Dscrace's cellar when she shacks up in his batchelor luuurve nest. Imagine where the other 112 are living! Or is she going to move the sainted Nic into the cellar with them all as well? Good that these crazy kids are taking moving in together seriously by discussing it all via the world's longest and most punctuated and grammar correct text messages. Has Liz ever actually TALKED to a man in the flesh?
It does seem interesting that Liz and David only really seem to get on when they are texting or shagging. Any time they spend together when that is not happening seems to have moved on slightly from them taking turns to whine anxiously about who loves who the most, to them irritating the hell out of each other.
It does seem interesting that Liz and David only really seem to get on when they are texting or shagging.
Good God, I hope no one breaks in to their 'shag-pad' and publishes a sex-tape... it doesn't bear thinking about...
The elderly baker running his dirty finger-nails up and down Lizard's quivering spine... his greying pony-tail brushing against her rampant horse-tattoo... building towards an inevitable climax.
And then the dirty old baker leaving first thing in the morning, leaving Liz to deal with soiled bed-sheets. :o
Liz's beau sadly reminds me of Windy Miller from Camberwick Green.
If only Gordon Murray had the foresight to bring a journalist into his group of characters things could have turned out very differently. Perhaps a bit like Dulverton... or even Reeth.:o
I'm a bit behind I'm afraid, but I've just read her review of the Miranda stage show. I'm not a big fan of Miranda Hart but what a nasty, bitchy, horrible review!
The only reference to her size was a line about tights: ‘One size doesn’t fit all!’
A bakers' convention crashed and burned at a Brixton establishment last night with the perpetrators facing stiff fines following their none too savoury antics.
The Chef's Whites, a gastro-pub in Brixton, SW London, was the venue chosen by a group of Z-list bakers to celebrate the 87th birthday of one of their party. Unfortunately, the sticky-fingered quartet arrived worse the wear for drink and soon rankled other punters, who complained to management about their shocking behaviour. After trying to calm the situation, The Chef's Whites had no alternative but to call the police.
Cartoon baker Fru T Bunn, who hails from Viz, was found cavorting in the foyer, by horrified patrons, with a gingerbread sex doll. The dubious age of the doll was questioned by arresting officers and Bunn admitted she was one of a batch he had baked only a few hours before the party.
Mr. Kipling, of no fixed abode, was also arrested at the scene but later recieved a caution on the proviso that he would make some exceedingly good cakes for the local constabulary.
Others arrested were Windy Miller of Camberwick Green, Trumptonshire, and Old Davey Baker, formally from the Manchestaaah area.
The three defendants are due to appear before magistrates on Tuesday with charges ranging from attempting to corrupt gingerbread minors, and gross indecency with said biscuits, to bringing food into an established eatery. Miller and Baker are also charged with attempting to eat the evidence, after being found in the cells with chunks of gingerbread dolls concealed about their persons.
Last night, a spokesman for the bakers said leniency should be shown, as all the ingredients in the gingerbread dolls were of the low-fat variety, therefore taking into account the country's obesity issues. He added that this could only be a good thing.
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Zil Senoj - Estonia. 2 hours ago.
It is quite clear that Old Davey Baker could not have been involved in any of the above shennanegans, as I know for a fact that he was with the love of his life on that night; a fair maiden who loves animals.
Julie Felt - Kentucky. 1 hour, 59 minutes ago.
I so agree with you Zil. There is no way on this planet that Old Davey would cheat on the love of his life with a hard, dry biscuit when he has gotten creamy-soft Vienetta at home. Much love x x x
Conrad Belker - Wyoming. 1 hour ago.
Garbage! What elderly man in his right mind would turn down a warm, fresh gingerbread doll in favour of a dried-up hag in her mid 50s and . . .
Benny - Crossroads. 3 minutes ago.
aw i think it lovly that their is peopel whoo get toogether after long time too share there love and animals to. it would be good if all everyone loves animal
Zil Senoj - Estonia. 2 minutes ago.
Well said, Benny. It is people like you who restore faith in humanity.
Julie Felt - Kentucky. 36 seconds ago.
I applaud you, Benny. It is people like you who make the world go round. I love you Zil x x x
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:D:D:D Cold Comfort. A convention of Master Bakers! I hope someone on Bunsnet have some grainy photos of them with bags of white powder with 'Flour' conveniently scrawled on the side. Good job the Warburtons Massive didn't turn up with their lethal 2-week old teacakes or it would have kicked off big stylie.
Yes, it's "in which he asks me to move in with him" and I effectively accept even though I find him disgusting and dirty and his flat is foul and has no Illy coffee. If it all goes wrong I'll blame Nic.
Comments
Dunno, Blondie but that facelift of hers is looking especially freaky lately!
http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/whats-on/comedy-news/liz-jones-lost-plot-well-6842875
She's dissed Manchester and the knives are out for Miranda Hart again.
This comment made me laugh:
Spot on!
EDIT: Forgot to say Bravo! to coldcomfort for that excellent post from David's POV :cool::D
LJ is a joke but so are M & S's ads. They make me cringe.
So far: Lizard has not just cast doubts about his hygiene ... smelling of nicotine, long nails. Dirty laundry not thrown in whatever dirty laundry is supposed to be thrown chez Lizard/Dscrace. Of course, long nails are not necessarily unhygienic (unless they break off in the dough) and unless the nicotine-smelling baker rolls his body in the dough as an alternative to kneading it with machines/ hands, then his smoking habit shouldn't really be an issue.
So lizard has put the boot into his business (his partners/investors must be thrilled) but she's also been so nasty about his ex girlfriend, ex wife, his poor kids ... the children can't have been happy at her comment that he left his wife because he couldn't stand not being the centre of attention when they were born. Charming. This is stuff that Dscrace may have told her, in pillow talk or whatever, but she should not have told the world. Dreadful behaviour. Plus all those digs about his 'forgetting his wallet' etc. and banging on about all the stuff she's bought him ... oh please, woman, we know, we KNOW, you are rich - £1 a word, I believe, which explains a lot ...
Still, what does the DM and MoS care? They permit the ghastly Shona Sibary to write about her kids, including her teenage daughter, with accompanying photographs. Must be such fun for the kids when they go to school, their privacy totally invaded. Surely, please, the DM group has a duty of care to protect children?
Sorry - I digress. As I said, I feel a bit sorry for Dscrase. As the old saying goes, when you sup with the devil, you need a long spoon. Think on, David.
I suspect the drop in income was due to her sudden disappearance from the weekday Mail - she only seems to have the Dreary and one, maybe two, incoherent rants in the MoS these days. Her Monday fashion farticles (which always seemed to make sense and sounded like they were written by someone else) have vanished since she left CBB.
coldcomfort - genius
In some respects I feel sorry too... I've gone back through my life, to live through bad times and ask myself whether there's ever been a time when I'd have been tempted to sell my soul - or at least consider offering it up - to Liz Jones as column-fodder; but the conclusion I've come to is no... not for any money, or at any of the darkest times of my life.
I wish him all the best.
Says it all really.
The elderly baker running his dirty finger-nails up and down Lizard's quivering spine... his greying pony-tail brushing against her rampant horse-tattoo... building towards an inevitable climax.
And then the dirty old baker leaving first thing in the morning, leaving Liz to deal with soiled bed-sheets.
Puts me in mind of many Jeremy Kyle guests.
Liz's beau sadly reminds me of Windy Miller from Camberwick Green.
If only Gordon Murray had the foresight to bring a journalist into his group of characters things could have turned out very differently. Perhaps a bit like Dulverton... or even Reeth.:o
Camberwick Green was before my time, so I'm afraid I don't get the reference.
The only reference to her size was a line about tights: ‘One size doesn’t fit all!’
Why should she make reference to her size??
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/columnists/article-2581908/LIZ-JONES-Gangsters-gag-free-comedy-just-80.html
Windy Miller was a baker.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyz_jv_xiB8
The Chef's Whites, a gastro-pub in Brixton, SW London, was the venue chosen by a group of Z-list bakers to celebrate the 87th birthday of one of their party. Unfortunately, the sticky-fingered quartet arrived worse the wear for drink and soon rankled other punters, who complained to management about their shocking behaviour. After trying to calm the situation, The Chef's Whites had no alternative but to call the police.
Cartoon baker Fru T Bunn, who hails from Viz, was found cavorting in the foyer, by horrified patrons, with a gingerbread sex doll. The dubious age of the doll was questioned by arresting officers and Bunn admitted she was one of a batch he had baked only a few hours before the party.
Mr. Kipling, of no fixed abode, was also arrested at the scene but later recieved a caution on the proviso that he would make some exceedingly good cakes for the local constabulary.
Others arrested were Windy Miller of Camberwick Green, Trumptonshire, and Old Davey Baker, formally from the Manchestaaah area.
The three defendants are due to appear before magistrates on Tuesday with charges ranging from attempting to corrupt gingerbread minors, and gross indecency with said biscuits, to bringing food into an established eatery. Miller and Baker are also charged with attempting to eat the evidence, after being found in the cells with chunks of gingerbread dolls concealed about their persons.
Last night, a spokesman for the bakers said leniency should be shown, as all the ingredients in the gingerbread dolls were of the low-fat variety, therefore taking into account the country's obesity issues. He added that this could only be a good thing.
Share or comment on this article.
The comments below have been moderated in advance.
Zil Senoj - Estonia. 2 hours ago.
It is quite clear that Old Davey Baker could not have been involved in any of the above shennanegans, as I know for a fact that he was with the love of his life on that night; a fair maiden who loves animals.
Julie Felt - Kentucky. 1 hour, 59 minutes ago.
I so agree with you Zil. There is no way on this planet that Old Davey would cheat on the love of his life with a hard, dry biscuit when he has gotten creamy-soft Vienetta at home. Much love x x x
Conrad Belker - Wyoming. 1 hour ago.
Garbage! What elderly man in his right mind would turn down a warm, fresh gingerbread doll in favour of a dried-up hag in her mid 50s and . . .
Benny - Crossroads. 3 minutes ago.
aw i think it lovly that their is peopel whoo get toogether after long time too share there love and animals to. it would be good if all everyone loves animal
Zil Senoj - Estonia. 2 minutes ago.
Well said, Benny. It is people like you who restore faith in humanity.
Julie Felt - Kentucky. 36 seconds ago.
I applaud you, Benny. It is people like you who make the world go round. I love you Zil x x x
We are no longer accepting comments on this article.