Kids learning from Porn about relationships

lola_skyelola_skye Posts: 21,328
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Kids and some adults seem to be learning from porn according to the man on the radio. According to one caller the most accidents for teenagers she's seen in A&E are from young ladies who have been in sex acts gone wrong.

I find this disturbing that young boys and men are getting ideas that real relationships comes from porn and are using the same language and actions which are shown in it. Now whilst most people know that porn is basically fiction and that none of the star would want that sort of relationship for real, some people think that this is the norm.

I think that this should be highlighted in sex ed classes that what they see in porn is not ideal for a healthy relationship and that its ok for girls to not feel pressured into it.

I'm not sure it would help for the 40 year old virgins, I'm sure if they think that expecting a porn style relationship would get them a girl then I guess they're destined for a life on the shelf. The same goes for women who go along with this because they're desperate for love.

What does everyone else think?
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Comments

  • netcurtainsnetcurtains Posts: 23,494
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    You have to be pretty dim if you think porn is like real life. Not once have I ended up fcking the man that has come round to fix my washing machine
  • reglipreglip Posts: 5,268
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    What is a porn style relationship?
  • MuzeMuze Posts: 2,225
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    I saw some show about teaching sex ed in schools and even I was pretty shocked at some of the thing the lads were coming out with :o

    Teenage boys will always be horndogs but wow.... it's clear they must be watching a serious amount of really hardcore stuff to get these ideas :confused:
  • DomestosDomestos Posts: 7,014
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    I'm sure plenty of young girls watch porn too. I wonder what their expectations would be?
  • InspirationInspiration Posts: 62,694
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    Muze wrote: »
    Teenage boys will always be horndogs but wow.... it's clear they must be watching a serious amount of really hardcore stuff to get these ideas :confused:

    Hardcore stuff is the norm now and is one google search away. Most of the videos on the front pages of free porn video sites are hardcore and on the far end of the scale too. It scares me personally to imagine people in their early teens or even younger are watching this content as their own representation of what sex is.

    I think there was a documentary on TV where some boys were asked various questions and a lot of them suggested they thought spitting on a woman as a form of lubrication was acceptable. Obviously it isn't but it's that sort of message they're taking away from the porn they'd been watching. Along with the idea anal sex is standard too.
  • Slarti BartfastSlarti Bartfast Posts: 6,607
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    What should we be teaching kids? That anything other than the missionary position is wrong? That sex should be for procreation only?

    Sex should be what you mutually and consensually enjoy with another person. If you got the idea from porn is that so bad? The most important factor is respect for each other and for yourself. What you actually get up to and where you got the idea is trivial.
  • InspirationInspiration Posts: 62,694
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    What should we be teaching kids? That anything other than the missionary position is wrong? That sex should be for procreation only?

    Sex should be what you mutually and consensually enjoy with another person. If you got the idea from porn is that so bad? The most important factor is respect for each other and for yourself. What you actually get up to and where you got the idea is trivial.

    The trouble is a lot of the standard free porn videos out there now do not send a respectful message. In the majority of cases it's extreme scenarios that simply don't paint anything like an accurate picture of what sex is about and should be.

    I'm not suggesting sex education should be black and white boring with standard positions and nothing else. But it certainly shouldn't be about videos where the girls are spat on to lubricate them.. or made to choke during oral sex.. or held by the throat.. or that every girl should welcome anal sex. It's simply not accurate.
  • lola_skyelola_skye Posts: 21,328
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    What should we be teaching kids? That anything other than the missionary position is wrong? That sex should be for procreation only?

    Sex should be what you mutually and consensually enjoy with another person. If you got the idea from porn is that so bad? The most important factor is respect for each other and for yourself. What you actually get up to and where you got the idea is trivial.

    I'm not talking a bout sexual positions between two consenting adults. I'm talking about learning about realities In a relationship. Some think that that's how to treat a woman the way they treat them in porn films. Watching porn is far less emabrassimg then really asking what a woman wants.
  • FizixFizix Posts: 16,932
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    They'll probably go on to direct "Blue is the warmest colour".

    On a more serious note, I doubt they do, porn is quite obviously nothing like real life relationships. Of course some teens may get some odd ideas but I think some people just have odd ideas in the first place.

    I also don't believe for one second that people doing stuff they saw in a porno is a new phenomenon. The kind of stuff some people do has always gone on. We are just more likely to speak openly about this sort of stuff these days.
  • LaceyLouelle3LaceyLouelle3 Posts: 9,682
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    Injuries from sex acts gone wrong? :o
  • Pisces CloudPisces Cloud Posts: 30,239
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    Kids shouldn't be watching porn before they learn to form normal relationships. Especially, as internet porn can be far more graphic than what it used to be in porn magazines of years ago. I think that is one of the reasons that the age to view was raised because research showed that more and more girls were feeling pressured with regards to what they felt uncomfortable with.
  • D_Mcd4D_Mcd4 Posts: 10,438
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    reglip wrote: »
    What is a porn style relationship?

    Probably involves lots of anal and choking.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 410
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    By the time they start watching porn, you would think most parents would have had "the talk" with them anyway - so surely this would give them a real idea about sex and relationships.
  • CravenHavenCravenHaven Posts: 13,953
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    what porn would that be? Would it be dp, gonzo, dwarf, girl-on-girl, women's watersports?
    Please be more specific. It's a jungle out there
  • mintbromintbro Posts: 6,733
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    There's a huge difference between sex and relationships
  • Esot-ericEsot-eric Posts: 1,293
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    It's a jungle out there

    Ah, 70s vintage.
  • LyricalisLyricalis Posts: 57,958
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    Typical really. Moral panic over porn but absolutely nothing about how adverts and celebrity worship completely warp young people's expectations of what's truly important and leaves them with a lifetime of disappointment and debt.

    Perhaps we need kids exposed to how things really are in all areas of live? We'd better be prepared for the riots though when they realise how much they've been shafted (and not in the porn way).
  • AneechikAneechik Posts: 20,208
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    The trouble with focusing on getting boys to not want to do kinky sex is that firstly there is nothing inherently wrong with kinky sex, and secondly that it robs women of their agency because it just assumes that any decisions about what sex happens is made purely by the men.

    That assumption may be true, but it would be far better for society to teach girls that regardless of what boys say to them, it's actually fine for them to exercise their own sexual agency and say no to the things they don't really want to do.
  • CravenHavenCravenHaven Posts: 13,953
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    Aneechik wrote: »
    That assumption may be true, but it would be far better for society to teach girls that regardless of what boys say to them, it's actually fine for them to exercise their own sexual agency and say no to the things they don't really want to do.
    where is this sexual agency of which you speak and can I get some action in Marbella before the autumn?
  • Sylvester2007Sylvester2007 Posts: 4,066
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    Whilst I wouldn't want kids to watch porn, it's also fair to say they learn a lot from their peers without porn anyway.

    I don't think celebrities/famous people help with peoples body images. It's pretty well known now that kids grow up thinking they must be thin, big breasted or well hung and the musicians that sing about sex when the average age of their fandom is 14 are making it worse and putting pressure onto the youngsters.

    I think porn is nowhere near the top of the list of priorities for youngsters. Sort out what they see on every day TV and hear in every day music as that has a far greater influence.
  • TheSilentFezTheSilentFez Posts: 11,103
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    Does anyone with half a brain actually take relationship advice from porn?
  • frisbiefrisbie Posts: 122
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    I think it naive to imagine any child over eleven is educated by watching porn. I am very very old, our piano legs were covered for modesty but at eleven I knew what went where and when; even boy on boy substitute.
    My problem was to find someone to practice on.
  • LyricalisLyricalis Posts: 57,958
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    Does anyone with half a brain actually take relationship advice from porn?

    The OP is very vague about what the radio show was about and who was hosting it. I'd assume that it was really about kids getting the wrong idea about sex and intimacy by getting their information about how to 'do it' from porn rather than more reliable sources (which we seem to lack in this country). An aspect of adult relationships then, but hardly what the majority of us would spend most of our time together doing.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 246
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    D_Mcd4 wrote: »
    Probably involves lots of anal and choking.

    And pizza, and sometimes midgets and donkeys.
  • MuzeMuze Posts: 2,225
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    I think the OP was talking about healthy sexual relationships.

    Boys need to learn to be respectful and crucially the meaning of real consent, girls need to know they have the right to say no.

    This, IMO, is where extended sex ed in schools in needed, kids need more than the biology and mechanics of things, they need to know how to treat each other and what a 'normal' sex life is IMO.

    Just glad I'm not a teenage girl any more!!
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