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How do I stop this?
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I have been with my boyfriend for a year - he is selfish, rude, stubborn, unreasonable, inconsiderate..... the list goes on. I want to finish the relationship and go on with my life but I love him and it hurts so very much. On a daily basis he makes me feel anxious.
I really want the courage to just disolve my feelings for him but while they are still there and fighting strong I just cannot let go - what do I do?
I really want the courage to just disolve my feelings for him but while they are still there and fighting strong I just cannot let go - what do I do?
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You haven't said anything nice about him the things that make you love him. Is it because you're scared of being on your own that you won't leave him because if that's so there's plenty of nice guys out there even though you probably don't think so.
A year isn't long so if you break away now it's better than doing it in 5, 6 or 7 years time. Don't waste any more of your time!
Unless its true of course although its not PC to say, women love blokes that treat them like cr-p.
Sorry to say this op but your list of complaints about your BF do not contain any redeeming facts about him.
Just what is it you love about him,and it must be a lot to put up with all the bad things you have listed.
"My bf batters me every night. He's also rude and has no manners. He is always dirty and never showers. He never shows me any respect and treats me like the dirt under his fingernails....
... Oh but I love him." :rolleyes:
I don't get it either, but it's obviously a HUGE lack of self esteem.
Then again, some women are just plain twisted - I know one woman who's boyfriend beat her, cheated on her, called her names, had her an emotional wreck all the time, and frequently took her money but stayed with him because she said he was cute and the sex was great.:rolleyes: Sick what some women do for a piece of meat.
this.
What's love?
I lived with a guy for 8 years the last 3 of which i put myself through hell, dark days. all in the name of love.
Life is about making yourself happy, if he is not, talk to him directly, give him an ultimatum, if he can't make you happy, it's not worth it.
good luck,
WTF ?!
Can anyone explain that logic to me ?
Thanks.
A lot of women/men have been there and then they grow up and do not understand why they ever put up with crp..
Your post on here tells you/me that it has gone too far. If he loves you he will come looking for you in 6 months time and turn his attitude around? It must be hard to love someone that doesn't give a sht about you?
The 'love list' obviously out-does the 'hate list'
There. Simple!:D
Nobody can tell you what to do, but I think you already know what to do and are just seeking reassurance that it's the right thing.
The problem here is that you don't actually like the guy and you don't like the way he makes you feel about yourself either but it's clear that you are hesitant about ending it because that would mean opting for being alone - that's a difficult choice to make and even more difficult when you are not confident in your ability to cope on your own (practically, emotionally, financially).
Look at it this way - every day that you put off ending this relationship is another day of not being truly happy. Yes it will be sad ending it - and yes you may feel lonely and wish you hadn't done it. But I would bet that you would also feel deeply relieved and eventually you will be proud of yourself that you did the right thing.
While you are with this man you are not going to find someone else that you can like and really love, that will treat you well and make you happy. He is the barrier to your happiness - you need to move him aside!
Bad advice.
He may actually do a 'Raoul Moat' if that happens.
True! And it's very childish.
OP: read your post as though your best friend is saying this to you. What advice would you give her? And why would it be any different for yourself?
Yes, I was blinded by affection (as my best friend put it) but with retrospect, I was blinded by the love of being in a relationship rather than with the guy.
I left him. I'm now with someone amazing, who treats me like I never thought I would be treated. He respects me, looks after me, I enjoy his company (to the point where we just sit and don't have to talk) and we spend as much time as is humanly possible together.
It's a cheesy story, and a bit slushy but it does show you that, if you can gather the strength and good people around you, there are better people and times ahead for you.
Good luck.
I don't think it's so much they like being treated badly as it's a case of getting their heads messed with. The OP says she's anxious all the time - this is down to his unpredictability. Possibly she has been adjusting her behaviour to try and please and appease. It works for a while and then it doesn't - he finds something else to bring her down about.
OP, this isn't love. Your partner should not be making you feel so anxious. Have you been drawn into a situation where you are dependent on his approval and never get it?
Would you put up wth his selfishness and lack of consideration from a friend or acquaintance? Why accept it from a partner with whom you should feel happy and contented and who makes you feel confident in the relationship?
Throw this one back in the pond..