I took delivery of a lovely foster child on Thursday evening having had only a few hours notice that he was arriving.He is a 13 year old boy from Afghanistan, is a muslim and speaks Pashtu.I would love any advice on how to help him settle in.
Hmmm have you spoken to him about his needs/requirements regarding his faith? I mean he might not be/want to be actively practising. Or he might have a desire to get down the local mosque/masjid, in which case your hubby/partner if you have one would come in handy! (Assuming you are female!)
Hmmm have you spoken to him about his needs/requirements regarding his faith? I mean he might not be/want to be actively practising. Or he might have a desire to get down the local mosque/masjid, in which case your hubby/partner if you have one would come in handy! (Assuming you are female!)
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Yes i am female:D He does not speak any English but he expressed a desire to attend the local mosque through an interpreter.We have found the local mosque and a halal butchers/ grocery.We have also discovered that a local takeaway is run by afghans who know a friend of ours, so we took him there and introduced him.
Thats great, but oh wow that will make things difficult if neither of you speak each other's language! Does he speak arabic? that will make it easier for him to communicate at the mosque anyway
i also should have made clear that my family are not muslim and this is only our second foster child. I therefore am having a crash course with no access yet to a regular interpreter for him.Therefore lots of pointing, gestering and research.Any advice would be great:D
Thats great, but oh wow that will make things difficult if neither of you speak each other's language! Does he speak arabic? that will make it easier for him to communicate at the mosque anyway
He speaks a little urdu and the guy at the halal butchers is a friend of my social workers and has offered to introduce him to the mosque
Can you not ring Social Services over this weekend (they often have a duty social worker available at weekends) & ask them for proper help with this? Is there some sort of fostering hotline in your area that you could contact? Fostering is hard enough & frightening enough on both sides but especially for the children without all of you having to struggle to communicate with each other.
I honestly commend you for being willing to be a foster parent, so please don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way. You don't speak his language or him yours, you know very little of his religious or cultural needs, & you don't yet have an interpreter to help you help him settle in. Were Social Services so desperate for someone to look after him that they had no choice but to put him somewhere where he & the foster parents would have problems communicating, on top of any other problems he might have? And what did they do to help you on Friday (a normal working day), if no-one's going to be around to help you over the weekend?
Is this a very temporary situation? I realise that some foster placements are only for a few days especially in emergencies, in which case it might be excusable. But if he's going to be with you for several weeks, Social Services were wrong to put him in your care without properly preparing you for his arrival, especially if they had considerably more notice than you got that he would need to be placed somewhere, & especially when you are so new to fostering yourself. That's absolutely not a reflection on you in any way whatsoever, as you're clearly trying to do your best in a difficult situation, but you shouldn't have been put in this position in the first place. It's great that you felt able to come on here & ask for help, but provisions for children already in great need shouldn't be dependent on you getting useful information from DS & similar forums - Social Services should have done more for you & him. I feel very sorry for you and this child.
Can you not ring Social Services over this weekend (they often have a duty social worker available at weekends) & ask them for proper help with this? Fostering is hard enough & frightening enough on both sides but especially for the children without all of you having to struggle to communicate with each other.
I honestly commend you for being willing to be a foster parent, so please don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way. You don't speak his language or him yours, you know very little of his religious or cultural needs, & you don't yet have an interpreter to help you help him settle in. Were Social Services so desperate for someone to look after him that they had no choice but to put him somewhere where he & the foster parents would have problems communicating, on top of any other problems he might have? Is this a very temporary situation? I realise that some foster placements are only for a few days especially in emergencies, in which case it might be excusable. But if he's going to be with you for several weeks, Social Services were wrong to put him in your care without properly preparing you for his arrival, especially if they had considerably more notice than you got that he would need to be placed somewhere. That's not a reflection on you in any way whatsoever, as you're clearly trying to do your best in a difficult situation, but you shouldn't have been put in this position in the first place.
The problem is there are few foster carers willing to take on unaccompanied minors and a shortage of muslim carers. on top of that most of the carers I know only want young children.
This is absolutely typical Blair's Britain madness. You have clearly got one hellofa big heart and these days that is hard to find but they should be shot for tapping into it and pumping it dry in the way they have. Does your average Briton even know what Halal meet even is? Yet some how you are supposed to provide care for a child whose needs and beliefs are completely alien to us?! I am disgusted so called New Labour has done this to you and I can only hope for the best for you and your boy but frankly whilst they are still in power you can expect situations like this to keep on happening.
This is absolutely typical Blair's Britain madness. You have clearly got one hellofa big heart and these days that is hard to find but they should be shot for tapping into it and pumping it dry in the way they have. Does your average Briton even know what Halal meet even is? Yet some how you are supposed to provide care for a child whose needs and beliefs are completely alien to us?! I am disgusted so called New Labour has done this to you and I can only hope for the best for you and your boy but frankly whilst they are still in power you can expect situations like this to keep on happening.
thanks.The worst of it was that when he arrived here a month ago, he told them he was thirteen but they said they thought he was sixteen and put him in a lodging house with older males.When a proper assesment was done he was found to indeed be thirteen, hence the need to grt him out of there sharpish! He seems releived to be here at the moment and is getting on well with my children but is understandably very clingy.
Can you not ring Social Services over this weekend (they often have a duty social worker available at weekends) & ask them for proper help with this? Is there some sort of fostering hotline in your area that you could contact? Fostering is hard enough & frightening enough on both sides but especially for the children without all of you having to struggle to communicate with each other.
I honestly commend you for being willing to be a foster parent, so please don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way. You don't speak his language or him yours, you know very little of his religious or cultural needs, & you don't yet have an interpreter to help you help him settle in. Were Social Services so desperate for someone to look after him that they had no choice but to put him somewhere where he & the foster parents would have problems communicating, on top of any other problems he might have? And what did they do to help you on Friday (a normal working day), if no-one's going to be around to help you over the weekend?
Is this a very temporary situation? I realise that some foster placements are only for a few days especially in emergencies, in which case it might be excusable. But if he's going to be with you for several weeks, Social Services were wrong to put him in your care without properly preparing you for his arrival, especially if they had considerably more notice than you got that he would need to be placed somewhere, & especially when you are so new to fostering yourself. That's absolutely not a reflection on you in any way whatsoever, as you're clearly trying to do your best in a difficult situation, but you shouldn't have been put in this position in the first place. It's great that you felt able to come on here & ask for help, but provisions for children already in great need shouldn't be dependent on you getting useful information from DS & similar forums - Social Services should have done more for you & him. I feel very sorry for you and this child.
Agreed. Not being funny but it doesnt sound like you're getting all the support you need from the social services.
this is not a temporary situation.Someone from social services is coming next week to discuss which school he will be attending.My social worker speaks urdu and he has worked with many unaccompanied minors.The local muslim community have been great so far, more useful than social services.The guy from the halal butchers has said he would be happy to teach him English and told me to phone him any time 24 hours a day and the brothers who run the takeaway i mentioned earlier have given me their number if i need any help and find him some easy books to read in pashtu.(he has had no formal schooling)
this is not a temporary situation.Someone from social services is coming next week to discuss which school he will be attending.My social worker speaks urdu and he has worked with many unaccompanied minors.The local muslim community have been great so far, more useful than social services.The guy from the halal butchers has said he would be happy to teach him English and told me to phone him any time 24 hours a day and the brothers who run the takeaway i mentioned earlier have given me their number if i need any help and find him some easy books to read in pashtu.(he has had no formal schooling)
good. It's great that he's got people to help and look up to. You will learn so much from him, I wish it was me fostering!
I'll bet in a few weeks he'll be doing great and you'll be communicated so much more efficiently.
good. It's great that he's got people to help and look up to. You will learn so much from him, I wish it was me fostering!
I'll bet in a few weeks he'll be doing great and you'll be communicated so much more efficiently.
You should go for it.As for learning from him, he's already learn't loads (colours, days of the week and more) but I have only retained one pashtu word! I think he is brighter than me:D
I guess the best thing would be to keep communicating with him and trying to get him to speak English as soon as he can. Because thats the only way he can start to assimilate into our society. Good luck!
I guess the best thing would be to keep communicating with him and trying to get him to speak English as soon as he can. Because thats the only way he can start to assimilate into our society. Good luck!
Thanks.I feel a lot better than this morning because when I took him shopping for clothes this afternoon, he bumped into some teens he had been in the childrens detention centre with when he first arrived and their English was brilliant! One of them even interpreted for me.Apparently Afghan children are usually very bright and master English quite quickly.I bought him some trainers today and he stood for ages just examining them.It fair brought a lump to the throat.
Comments
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Yes i am female:D He does not speak any English but he expressed a desire to attend the local mosque through an interpreter.We have found the local mosque and a halal butchers/ grocery.We have also discovered that a local takeaway is run by afghans who know a friend of ours, so we took him there and introduced him.
He speaks a little urdu and the guy at the halal butchers is a friend of my social workers and has offered to introduce him to the mosque
I honestly commend you for being willing to be a foster parent, so please don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way.
Is this a very temporary situation? I realise that some foster placements are only for a few days especially in emergencies, in which case it might be excusable. But if he's going to be with you for several weeks, Social Services were wrong to put him in your care without properly preparing you for his arrival, especially if they had considerably more notice than you got that he would need to be placed somewhere, & especially when you are so new to fostering yourself. That's absolutely not a reflection on you in any way whatsoever, as you're clearly trying to do your best in a difficult situation, but you shouldn't have been put in this position in the first place. It's great that you felt able to come on here & ask for help, but provisions for children already in great need shouldn't be dependent on you getting useful information from DS & similar forums - Social Services should have done more for you & him. I feel very sorry for you and this child.
The problem is there are few foster carers willing to take on unaccompanied minors and a shortage of muslim carers. on top of that most of the carers I know only want young children.
thanks.The worst of it was that when he arrived here a month ago, he told them he was thirteen but they said they thought he was sixteen and put him in a lodging house with older males.When a proper assesment was done he was found to indeed be thirteen, hence the need to grt him out of there sharpish! He seems releived to be here at the moment and is getting on well with my children but is understandably very clingy.
Agreed. Not being funny but it doesnt sound like you're getting all the support you need from the social services.
good. It's great that he's got people to help and look up to. You will learn so much from him, I wish it was me fostering!
I'll bet in a few weeks he'll be doing great and you'll be communicated so much more efficiently.
You should go for it.As for learning from him, he's already learn't loads (colours, days of the week and more) but I have only retained one pashtu word! I think he is brighter than me:D
Thanks.I feel a lot better than this morning because when I took him shopping for clothes this afternoon, he bumped into some teens he had been in the childrens detention centre with when he first arrived and their English was brilliant! One of them even interpreted for me.Apparently Afghan children are usually very bright and master English quite quickly.I bought him some trainers today and he stood for ages just examining them.It fair brought a lump to the throat.