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Silly jokes that make you smile

LilyAnna80LilyAnna80 Posts: 3,560
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in General Discussion #1
Baby polar bear asks it mummy, "Am I a real polar bear?"

Mummy polar bear says "Yes darling. Why?"


"Because I am flaming freezing".
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    CaptainObvious_CaptainObvious_ Posts: 3,881
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    #2
    Why did the baker's hands smell? Because he was kneading a poo
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    Ancient IDTVAncient IDTV Posts: 10,189
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    #3
    Why was Hitler rubbish at golf?

    Because he kept going in the bunker.
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    Billy_ValueBilly_Value Posts: 22,924
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    #4
    that didn't make me smile
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,133
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    #5
    Corned beef sandwich walks into a Pub and asks for a pint.
    Barman says sorry we dont serve food :D
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    BerBer Posts: 24,562
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    #6
    Whats long brown and sticky.

    A long brown stick.
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    AddisonianAddisonian Posts: 16,377
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    #7
    Billy_Value wrote: »
    that didn't make me smile
    Judging by most of your posts, not a lot makes you smile.
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    JayHunterJayHunter Posts: 79
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    #8
    A reporter visits a Priory Clinic to gather info for an article about inpatient psychiatry. He sees all kinds of patients, one of whom is loudly claiming to be God.

    The reporter approaches him and says: "Since you're God - why don't you come here and put your hand over the fire?" The patient looks at him and replies: "Look buddy - just because I'm crazy doesn't mean that I'm an idiot too"
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    BerBer Posts: 24,562
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    #9
    Whats orange and sounds like a parrot.

    A carrot.
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    netcurtainsnetcurtains Posts: 23,494
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    #10
    I'm getting my stepladder out later.









    I don't get on with my real ladder.
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    meglosmurmursmeglosmurmurs Posts: 35,113
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    #11
    I always laugh at -

    Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

    Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.
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    CaptainObvious_CaptainObvious_ Posts: 3,881
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    #12
    Did you hear about the magic tractor?

    It turned into a field

    Why did the sand blush?

    Because the sea weed
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    Andy BirkenheadAndy Birkenhead Posts: 13,450
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    #13
    What's the difference between a duck ?
    One of it's legs is both the same.
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    QueenMaudeQueenMaude Posts: 536
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    #14
    two fish in a tank, one says to the other 'how do you drive this thing?'
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    Andy BirkenheadAndy Birkenhead Posts: 13,450
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    #15
    How deep is a frog pond ?
    Knee deep.
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    Billy_ValueBilly_Value Posts: 22,924
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    #16
    Addisonian wrote: »
    Judging by most of your posts, not a lot makes you smile.

    :sleep:
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    HMOHMO Posts: 42,313
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    #17
    meglosmurmurs wrote: »
    I always laugh at -

    Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

    Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.

    That is shockingly slightly funny.
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    JayHunterJayHunter Posts: 79
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    #18
    2 crazies are on the roof of a building in a town in a middle of the night with an electric torch. The other points the light beam to the roof of another building and says: "Could you now walk on the light beam to the other building?"

    "Of course I could...but I am afraid you turn the light off when I am in the middle!"*
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    CaptainObvious_CaptainObvious_ Posts: 3,881
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    #19
    Did you hear about the two TV aerials that got married?

    The ceremony was great but the reception was awful
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    roland ratroland rat Posts: 13,829
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    #20
    Walks into the gents toliets, there a notice on the board............Beware of homosexuals

    But when I got into the gents, there was notice on the mirror.....Beware of homosexuals



    As I was coming out, there was something written on the skirting board........You've been warned twice
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    OhWhenTheSaintsOhWhenTheSaints Posts: 12,531
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    #21
    Friend of mine texts me a silly joke every day. :D
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    ArcanaArcana Posts: 37,521
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    #22
    A grasshopper walks into a bar.
    The bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you."
    The grasshopper says "You have a drink named Steve?"
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    Billy_ValueBilly_Value Posts: 22,924
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    #23
    CaptainObvious_ wrote: »
    Did you hear about the two TV aerials that got married?

    The ceremony was great but the reception was awful

    you got it the wrong way round it should be

    CaptainObvious_ wrote: »
    Did you hear about the two TV aerials that got married?

    The ceremony was awful but the reception was great
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    LaceyLouelle3LaceyLouelle3 Posts: 9,682
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    #24
    netcurtains wrote: »
    I'm getting my stepladder out later.









    I don't get on with my real ladder.

    That was the only one I actually found funny :D
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    CaptainObvious_CaptainObvious_ Posts: 3,881
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    #25
    Billy_Value wrote: »
    you got it the wrong way round it should be

    I was just testing
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    sandman112sandman112 Posts: 348
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    #26
    Sure I've posted these before but here goes

    What do you do when you see a spaceman?
    Park in it .... Man

    What do you call a deer with no eyes?
    No eye deer

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no ears?
    Still no idea
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