Internet dating?
![[Deleted User]](https://w4.vanillicon.com/v2/454bbff16c8027d94675f132bc42b899.svg)
[Deleted User]
Posts: 89 Forum Member
✭
I've been single for a while now. I've dated just one guy since me and my last boyfriend broke up a year ago. I want to try internet dating but I'm quite nervous and (I know it's stupid) strangely embarrassed about the idea of being 'found out' that I'm doing it. Also it involves coming out as bisexual and although most of my friends know, I'm anxious that people from my university course or a member of my family might come across my profile and I'd rather avoid that.
I only go out about once a month but I don't really like meeting potential dates at pubs/clubs anyway.
If anyone has any advice for me I'd really appreciate it. I hope I'm not the only weirdo suffering from social anxiety out there
I only go out about once a month but I don't really like meeting potential dates at pubs/clubs anyway.
If anyone has any advice for me I'd really appreciate it. I hope I'm not the only weirdo suffering from social anxiety out there
0
Comments
In terms of 'advertising' yourself and people finding out, if it's a paid site then the chances of that are a lot less. I was on a free site and saw 3 people I vaguely knew who had profiles on there, but it didn't really matter as they were relatively far removed from my personal life.
I think the issue is that you will now be addressing your sexuality publicly and internet dating is only a tiny part of this. I guess you need to decide whether you want people to find out that you are bi-sexual and if so, how. It's about what you are comfortable with I suppose. I'm sure someone will come along and give better advice on this side of things!
There are lots of dating websites and people will have varying advice about each one but I haven't ever had any negative experiences (I can only reference Match and PoF).
Your concern about people finding out about your sexual orientation is just something you have to deal with yourself because that seems to be your main road block, rather than being embarrassed about exploring the concept of online dating.
If you do give it a go, the advice I'd give you is to just be open and honest about yourself, otherwise it's pointless. It's very easy to give off the wrong impression when you're just exchanging messages, so I would advise meeting up within 10 days of being in contact. The longer it goes on with just texts and no formal contact, then you run the risk of building the person up to be something they're not and vice versa.
Personally I think online dating is great, it gives us all a chance to meet someone we otherwise wouldn't have crossed paths with. I met my girlfriend on Tinder and my mates did seem a little surprised and sent a few churlish comments my way, however 18 months later we're madly in love and I'm 99.9% sure this is the woman I'm going to marry. Now all of my mates are trying their luck with online platforms.
So I have nothing but positive sentiments towards online dating and I would encourage you to give it a go. Just remember there is no exact science to finding someone and you'll be fine.
Change your username perhaps
That's a great idea, I didn't even consider the paid ones. I imagine there would be a lot less time wasters on those sites compared to Tindr etc. The only problem would be subscribing and then not having that many people in your area. I'll check if any of them have trial months or anything like that.
Hi Robbie, thanks for your advice - I especially appreciate the BIB. I only recently came to terms with my bisexuality/bi-curiosity and it is something that I find really impossible to put out there (or figure out in other people). That was one thing that appealed to me about online dating - people knowing straight away what you're interested in without bringing it up awkwardly with someone in a bar or whatever when you don't know how they might react.
;-) What's wrong with it?
Yeah, I've had that impression. I'm not setting out with a long term relationship particularly in mind, just something to get me back into the dating scene after a very, very long hiatus.
First of all, I think you should try anyway. No one says that you had to fill your profile fully, I mean not to write that you bisexual. You can always say about it in private dialogue.
Are you doing something bad?
Look, I have only positive experience as for dating sites. Secondly, people from your university course or members of your family can't be on all websites. Maybe you should try http://kovla.com. “Walls don't fall without effort.”
Absolutely nothing love, you'll get loads of dates with a username like that!:D
Your situation is similar to mine. I split with my boyfriend last year, and now need to move on. I hardly go out places where I would meet someone new so I'm thinking about online dating.
Some of my friends know I'm bisexual but not all (tho I don't think most would care), however I'm bothered about family finding out ( if I find a nice girl to date then I would come out).
The other thing I worry about is if I but bisexual on a dating profile will people get the wrong impression of me. I just want a normal relationship with some one I could settle down with.
Well to be honest most regular guys who want a 'normal relationship' won't want a bisexual girl.... which is all the more reason for you to be honest about it.
I wouldn't say that. I used one for a 6 months and got a few dates out of it. Most of the time your message would just get deleted but this was on a free site and from what I've been told women can get upwards of 50+ messages a day.
Luckily I did get a few dates which weren't a waste of time. And the last girl I met online we ended up buying a house together and are happy still after 4 years
I saw 2 people from my team at work on the site, they were emailed to me as potential matches lol, they had the same thing with my profile (we all lived within a few miles of eachother and were a similar age), they couldnt say anything bad because they were on it too. one of them met her other half the same way.
you will probably have a few random/odd dates, there are some people that its obvious why they are single,
The thing is the amount of people who think bisexual means 3 somes is ridiculous.
I wish! Ha.