Weddings!!
beast1982
Posts: 5,350 Forum Member
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Has anybody else found wedding venue choosing extremely stressful?
My other half wants to get married but has made zero effort in researching venues/suits etc and has left it up to me to do it all and it is driving me insane. Coupled with, I find a venue I like and my mum picks fault with it and completely knocks the excitement out of it.
I thought being engaged was supposed to be exciting?! I am just completely stressed out by it, and feel inclined to cancel the whole thing. Has anyone else found this?
My other half wants to get married but has made zero effort in researching venues/suits etc and has left it up to me to do it all and it is driving me insane. Coupled with, I find a venue I like and my mum picks fault with it and completely knocks the excitement out of it.
I thought being engaged was supposed to be exciting?! I am just completely stressed out by it, and feel inclined to cancel the whole thing. Has anyone else found this?
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I have found in life that the more people you involve the more insane things start to get. Unfortunately it would be better if you do not involve your mother and consider getting advice from a professional. Moms and friends can drive you up the wall. It is your day so as long as you and your other half are good - bugger everyone else.
http://www.quirkyweddings.co.uk/
http://www.beforethebigday.co.uk/search/label/DIY
2) Screw what anyone else has to say about what you like, including your mum.
3) As with most things, it's only as stressful as you make it.
http://lovemydress.net/blog/2012/05/embroidered-vintage-tablecloth-dress.html
What sort of ideas did you have?
I've not been married, and will be unlikely to any time soon, so I can't really help, however the alarm bells are ringing at your mother veto'ing your suggestions. Unless she's paying for the venue, I'd be tactfully reminding her that it is your wedding and you will decide where you're getting married.
That sounds great. You can easily rent generators from one of those hire shops that hire out scaffolding etc. (HSS is one.) You might have to hire a couple of loos as well.
I like non-hotel weddings. Hotels always feel a wee bit corporate to me, as if they have done too many weddings and lost all their spark. I was once at one that had three receptions going at once. They were very professional, but professionalism isn't everything.
I think you are trying to be too independent.
If you have nerves of steel, you can hire a plain marquee, borrow the furniture from the local scouts or church hall for a modest fee, hire a couple of portaloos, hire a generator and heater (talk to the hire shop and they will advise) and get talented friends to do all the decorating.
Or for a much higher fee you can google 'wedding marquees' and find any number of companies who will do the lot: marquee, wooden flooring, furniture, bar fittings, generators, heating, loos, decorations etc. It is always easy to find people to arrange your wedding reception if you don't mind spending money.
Whoever hires them out would know.
I suggest you make a 'job sheet' of everything that needs doing, who will do it, and their contact details. Break the planning up into little chunks, and give yourself plenty of time to work. Farm out as much of the responsibility as you can afford to outside companies, and as much as you can to family members. (For example, if you went down the farm route, make sure the family member is the one to contact the marquee company / generator hire and tell them about access to the field, and to put up signs nearby directing people to the wedding. You don't want to spend the day before your wedding trying to explain where a gate is in a 20 acre field!)
Making a list of everything you have to do can seem daunting, but that's the best way to make sure you've covered everything. Delegate as much as you can to other people. I know Mums can be bossy (especially if they're contributing to the cost), but also remind yourself that as her daughter she wants to share your special day. Try and enjoy working with her - or failing that, give her a few jobs she can get stuck into to keep her occupied!
Your OH should also be helping out, or at least be a sounding-board for your ideas. After all, it's his day as well, isn't it?
I tried to do everything myself, and I managed 90% of it... but what really suprised me was that when I needed help with the last 10% people were so willing to help us out!
1 - No, blokes don't care, they will get married wherever. Besides can't be blamed if it's wrong.
2 - Yes, it's your day so it's your say.
3 - Very true.
The first one was very traditional, I sorted it all myself and was stressed to my eyeballs. I don't even remember enjoying the day.
When it came to planning the second one there was no way I was going to go through that again so we just went off on our own and got married. There was zero involvement from anyone else and no guests, also zero stress. We had a wonderful time and it was just about us, no one else.
It's guests who cause stress and problems at weddings. I found that not having any guests removed ALL the stress and worry. I know this approach is not for everyone but it worked for us
That sounds like a really nice idea. I'm about as far away from getting married as possible but whenever I think about it I always have an internal conflict, big fancy wedding or small casual wedding ^_^
Good luck with the planning and I hope the big day goes well ^_^
I would say keep it as simple as absolutely possible and avoid becoming a bridezilla.
Never lose focus ... the day is about your celebration of the love and commitment between you and your life partner.
All too often it turns into the best cake, the fabulous dress, the best in show flowers, and on and on .....
all the material things which just are extras and should not
really matter often seem to dominate and take over the day.
It's about 2 people and love.
Pare it down, keep it simple, preserve your sanity.
Most of these venues have varying packages depending on what you can afford. It takes a huge amount of stress out of it.
Keep it simple, concentrate on what matters and enjoy.
I suppose the closest i've ever been is when a cousin of mine got married and my mum got an invite that was something akin to "well he'd obviously be welcome if he wanted to come, but we assumed he wouldn't be interested"
Never mind about your mum, his mum, anyones mum, or anyone else.
The day is yours and his and about you so just please yourselves.
The farm sounds really lovely to me and I'm sure everyone will feel the love, as they say!
I'm not sure what it's got to do with your mum though. We didn't involve anyone else at all, everything got booked and the first thing anyone else knew about the venue etc was when we told them we'd booked it.
Lol, but most of us like having our friends round us.
I have two friends who had their reception in the local village hall and asked everyone to bring food to share in lieu of a present. It made for a very warm, simple, cheerful wedding (though there was far too much food).