My friend spilt from her boyfriend last year and she had a similar problem with a dog he had given her as a present and although she had paid for all vet bills including microchipping, she had to return it to him after police intervened as the dog was registered at his home address.
Sadly she wasn't in a financial position to try and fight him in a custody battle and she was gutted when he gave the dog to his Mother as his new live in girlfriend didn't like it.
Couldn't your Mom make an exception and let them stay with you until you get yourself a new apartment?
Good luck and hopefully it will all work out for you.
My mum initially was willing to let the cats stay here temporary ( this is not the first time I've considered ending the relationship as emotionally it's quite abusive) but her husband won't allow it.
before you leave if you can afford to and they're not already have them chipped in your name! i wouldn't advise moving them from your current home to a friends and then again to were you'll end up living, cats aren't too good with moving and things changing to much! the chips is the best advice i can give. good luck. i know you must be worried i love my own cat to death and if anybody ever tried to take him from me they'd rue the day!
I don't want that. He is away on business, he will expect me to come and look after them as he won't be there. I do have keys and I always tell him if I'm planning to go.
But they aren't family pets as far as I'm concerned because he doesn't contribute to them or do all the looking after. I know what you are saying though. As I said I'm not sure what he can and cannot do to me, he can stop me going to the house as its in his name but in the event of a split he would have to let me collect my belongings anyway?
OK im a bit lost here, you say you always tell him? yet you say you only left yesterday ?
Dont matter if he does not pay anything for their keep he puts a roof over their head, also you said he wanted to give you money but you would not let him and gave it back as you didnt want him thinking they were his..
before you leave if you can afford to and they're not already have them chipped in your name! i wouldn't advise moving them from your current home to a friends and then again to were you'll end up living, cats aren't too good with moving and things changing to much! the chips is the best advice i can give. good luck. i know you must be worried i love my own cat to death and if anybody ever tried to take him from me they'd rue the day!
To be fair thew OP's partner hast tried to take them, the OP walked out and left them. seemingly knowing what they would be like.
OP reading through again ( and I can only go on what you say) You had a row , walked out left the kittens not for the first time and now he wont let you back in but is going away and will expect you to look after them while he is away , sounds to me like you have a volatile relationship and he is just smarting that you left again, Maybe dont get pets with people you are not that comfortable with as its hard enough when you are. Also dont think mine mine mine, think whats best for the cats.
To be fair thew OP's partner hast tried to take them, the OP walked out and left them. seemingly knowing what they would be like.
OP reading through again ( and I can only go on what you say) You had a row , walked out left the kittens not for the first time and now he wont let you back in but is going away and will expect you to look after them while he is away , sounds to me like you have a volatile relationship and he is just smarting that you left again, Maybe dont get pets with people you are not that comfortable with as its hard enough when you are. Also dont think mine mine mine, think whats best for the cats.
Yeah you're right, i didn't explain myself properly, i meant if he does try to keep them but i've since read through the whole thread properly (i should start doing that before commenting ) the kittens are the important things and if they will be better off staying where they class as home then that's what the op should seriously consider doing! you're also right about not getting pets with somebody if you're not sure about that person, so many people get pets too easily without considering everything first
Yeah you're right, i didn't explain myself properly, i meant if he does try to keep them but i've since read through the whole thread properly (i should start doing that before commenting ) the kittens are the important things and if they will be better off staying where they class as home then that's what the op should seriously consider doing! you're also right about not getting pets with somebody if you're not sure about that person, so many people get pets too easily without considering everything first
My daughter split up with her husband and she had three rabbits and four cats, she left them behind as it was in thier best interest, broke her heart but it wasn't whats best for her but whats best for them..
She came and lived with me for a few mths while looking for a place to rent I would have let her bring her pets but she said its not fair on them as they would have to leave when she finds another place and as its private rent then its not secure. Altho she doesn't love her husband as a husband anymore she is still friends with him and knows the pets will be just fine, if she didnt think that, she would have found them all new loving homes before leaving.
Sorry everyone to clarify: I have not left him I am considering ending the relationship. It is true that I'm not at the flat because he won't allow me there! Not because I don't want to be there.
OK im a bit lost here, you say you always tell him? yet you say you only left yesterday ?
Dont matter if he does not pay anything for their keep he puts a roof over their head, also you said he wanted to give you money but you would not let him and gave it back as you didnt want him thinking they were his..
Sorry when I say I tell him I'm going to the flat in advance because whenever there is a row he won't let up to the flat so I have to go elsewhere. It isn't the best relationship hence why I'm seriously trying to get out of it because I have had enough.
We have been together a long time over 3 years.
I realise that in the event of a split it's hats best for the cats, my concern was/is what can he do if he decides he wants them.
Sorry everyone to clarify: I have not left him I am considering ending the relationship. It is true that I'm not at the flat because he won't allow me there! Not because I don't want to be there.
You said you walked out ?
Also if he wont let you back in maybe he ended the relationship? You talk like it happened before, do you walk out often?
Sorry when I say I tell him I'm going to the flat in advance because whenever there is a row he won't let up to the flat so I have to go elsewhere. It isn't the best relationship hence why I'm seriously trying to get out of it because I have had enough.
We have been together a long time over 3 years.
I realise that in the event of a split it's hats best for the cats, my concern was/is what can he do if he decides he wants them.
Sorry but do you have a row through windows or something? How can you row if he wont let you in.or did you walk out?
I dont mean to give you a hard time but really you should have thought about all this and not brought pets into a situation thats already gone downhill .
Sorry but do you have a row through threw windows or something? How can you row if he wont let you in.or did you walk out?
I dont mean to give you a hard time but really you should have thought about all this and not brought pets into a situation thats already gone downhill .
Why are people accusing me of walking out in my pets when I have done no such thing? Not have I stated I walked out and expected him to look after them. I said I was at my mothers and said that was because he wouldn't allow me to return there! Sorry I'm not having a go at you specifically.
To be fair the cats weren't introduced when we were like this. I say he wouldn't let me come back to the flat because we were in public when this happened.
Comments
My mum initially was willing to let the cats stay here temporary ( this is not the first time I've considered ending the relationship as emotionally it's quite abusive) but her husband won't allow it.
OK im a bit lost here, you say you always tell him? yet you say you only left yesterday ?
Dont matter if he does not pay anything for their keep he puts a roof over their head, also you said he wanted to give you money but you would not let him and gave it back as you didnt want him thinking they were his..
To be fair thew OP's partner hast tried to take them, the OP walked out and left them. seemingly knowing what they would be like.
OP reading through again ( and I can only go on what you say) You had a row , walked out left the kittens not for the first time and now he wont let you back in but is going away and will expect you to look after them while he is away , sounds to me like you have a volatile relationship and he is just smarting that you left again, Maybe dont get pets with people you are not that comfortable with as its hard enough when you are. Also dont think mine mine mine, think whats best for the cats.
Yeah you're right, i didn't explain myself properly, i meant if he does try to keep them but i've since read through the whole thread properly (i should start doing that before commenting
My daughter split up with her husband and she had three rabbits and four cats, she left them behind as it was in thier best interest, broke her heart but it wasn't whats best for her but whats best for them..
She came and lived with me for a few mths while looking for a place to rent I would have let her bring her pets but she said its not fair on them as they would have to leave when she finds another place and as its private rent then its not secure. Altho she doesn't love her husband as a husband anymore she is still friends with him and knows the pets will be just fine, if she didnt think that, she would have found them all new loving homes before leaving.
Sorry when I say I tell him I'm going to the flat in advance because whenever there is a row he won't let up to the flat so I have to go elsewhere. It isn't the best relationship hence why I'm seriously trying to get out of it because I have had enough.
We have been together a long time over 3 years.
I realise that in the event of a split it's hats best for the cats, my concern was/is what can he do if he decides he wants them.
You said you walked out ?
Also if he wont let you back in maybe he ended the relationship? You talk like it happened before, do you walk out often?
Sorry but do you have a row through windows or something? How can you row if he wont let you in.or did you walk out?
I dont mean to give you a hard time but really you should have thought about all this and not brought pets into a situation thats already gone downhill .
I have not walked out, I dont walk out often. We had a row, he left me and would not let me return to the flat!
You had a row outside the home? ahhh OK I see now. it did read like you have rows and you walk out and this time he wont let you back .
I just think find a place to rent (not that easy with pets) then take them, yes he can try to keep them but do you think he would want to?
Why are people accusing me of walking out in my pets when I have done no such thing? Not have I stated I walked out and expected him to look after them. I said I was at my mothers and said that was because he wouldn't allow me to return there! Sorry I'm not having a go at you specifically.
To be fair the cats weren't introduced when we were like this. I say he wouldn't let me come back to the flat because we were in public when this happened.
Deleted sorry typing on the iPhone!