Dating advice required!
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OK, I’m going to launch straight into this as there’s no other way to do it really!
I’m in love. Absolutely head-over-heels, heartbeat-skipping, weak-at-the-kneels in love, with a girl in my economics class at University. Quite what such a person of outstanding natural beauty is doing taking economics I have no idea, but thankfully for me (if not my grades), she is.
“Great, what’s the problem, why not ask her out?” you may ask. Well, I’m afraid there are rather a few hurdles I need you lovely people to help me over.
Firstly, we’ve been in the same class since October, and I’m not sure she even knows I exist. My face may seem familiar to her, but that’s probably about as far as the connection goes. We’ve never chatted, or sat together for any length of time. The only link I have to her, and it’s quite a tenuous one, is a friend I made recently is quite friendly with her best friend.
Secondly, she is stunningly attractive. And we are talking top-of-the-table Premier League attractive. Whilst I wouldn’t consider myself a human eyesore by any means, to use the football analogy again, compared to her I’m fighting a relegation battle in the Championship. (For those less football inclined, put simply, she’s a 10/10, I’m about a 7). Quite how much of an impact this has on the (already minute) chance of me progressing anywhere depends on her degree of shallowness, and her eyesight.
Time could also be running out. I know she is planning on doing a year-long work placement next year as she was at a meeting at the stsrt of the year (I was going to do one, but elected not to). So that means I have around 2 months(!) before we break up for study/assessment leave.
There is also no getting away from the fact I am painfully shy. Whilst (without wanting to sound like I’m blowing my own trumpet) I think I have a good personality and a decent sense of humour, I find it quite hard to get this across when meeting people for the first time. I’m a bit of a slow burner in that sense, as I will gradually come out of my shell. Unfortunately, this means I can’t simply sidle up to her, with a glint in my eye and turn on the charm like 007.
The shyness has, perhaps unsurprisingly, left me vastly inexperienced with the fairer sex considering my age (19, 20 this year). I dated a girl in college (3 years ago) for around 2 months, but we never got beyond kissing (á la the French), so from that I’m fairly sure you’ve established my ‘V’ plates are still firmly attached. To make matters worse, I’ve never asked anyone out, the girl at college did that for me, which was nice at the time, but hasn’t done me many favours in the long run. Just thinking about approaching this girl is making me nervous right now!
So, where do I go from here? I am absolutely crazy about this girl, and can’t stop thinking about her (not in a stalker-ish way, more of a wistful daydream). The whole ‘being single and a virgin’ is also getting me down, which is not helping my confidence with the situation!
Please help me DS, and if you/I/we pull it off, I’ll buy you a hat/suit for the wedding!
I’m in love. Absolutely head-over-heels, heartbeat-skipping, weak-at-the-kneels in love, with a girl in my economics class at University. Quite what such a person of outstanding natural beauty is doing taking economics I have no idea, but thankfully for me (if not my grades), she is.
“Great, what’s the problem, why not ask her out?” you may ask. Well, I’m afraid there are rather a few hurdles I need you lovely people to help me over.
Firstly, we’ve been in the same class since October, and I’m not sure she even knows I exist. My face may seem familiar to her, but that’s probably about as far as the connection goes. We’ve never chatted, or sat together for any length of time. The only link I have to her, and it’s quite a tenuous one, is a friend I made recently is quite friendly with her best friend.
Secondly, she is stunningly attractive. And we are talking top-of-the-table Premier League attractive. Whilst I wouldn’t consider myself a human eyesore by any means, to use the football analogy again, compared to her I’m fighting a relegation battle in the Championship. (For those less football inclined, put simply, she’s a 10/10, I’m about a 7). Quite how much of an impact this has on the (already minute) chance of me progressing anywhere depends on her degree of shallowness, and her eyesight.
Time could also be running out. I know she is planning on doing a year-long work placement next year as she was at a meeting at the stsrt of the year (I was going to do one, but elected not to). So that means I have around 2 months(!) before we break up for study/assessment leave.
There is also no getting away from the fact I am painfully shy. Whilst (without wanting to sound like I’m blowing my own trumpet) I think I have a good personality and a decent sense of humour, I find it quite hard to get this across when meeting people for the first time. I’m a bit of a slow burner in that sense, as I will gradually come out of my shell. Unfortunately, this means I can’t simply sidle up to her, with a glint in my eye and turn on the charm like 007.
The shyness has, perhaps unsurprisingly, left me vastly inexperienced with the fairer sex considering my age (19, 20 this year). I dated a girl in college (3 years ago) for around 2 months, but we never got beyond kissing (á la the French), so from that I’m fairly sure you’ve established my ‘V’ plates are still firmly attached. To make matters worse, I’ve never asked anyone out, the girl at college did that for me, which was nice at the time, but hasn’t done me many favours in the long run. Just thinking about approaching this girl is making me nervous right now!
So, where do I go from here? I am absolutely crazy about this girl, and can’t stop thinking about her (not in a stalker-ish way, more of a wistful daydream). The whole ‘being single and a virgin’ is also getting me down, which is not helping my confidence with the situation!
Please help me DS, and if you/I/we pull it off, I’ll buy you a hat/suit for the wedding!
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Comments
Edit: Just read paddy's post below, yes, it's highly unlikely it is 'love' when you don't know her.make sure she is single first....and build some sort of rapport with her...and then, providing those two things go well, ask her out...!
There's your answer. Get your friend to arrange with her mate for all four of you to go for a drink and see what happens. Its a way of sussing things out without being too blindingly obvious.
Even loving someone from afar you have to actually know them for it to be love. It can't be love without pain and you can't have pain without experiencing rejection. To experience that you would have to know them.
Also, are you a minger or do you have potential, as that will also affect the way you have to approach her?
he said he was a 7 out of 10 whilst she is apparently a 10
If you think she's a 10/10, then you must think you are an 11/10. If you go along thinking you are not good enough for her, she'll probably end up thinking the same thing, too.
As an example, don't say tihngs like this;
First, she'll roll her eyes at yet another pointless compliment about her looks. Then she'll be offended that you think she should get by on her beauty and not be interested in furthering her education and future career. It makes you sound like you think she's eye candy and shouldn't be intelligent or thoughtful. Instant turn-off for a girl.
Can't you just find out what local pub she tends to go to (come on, they're at uni. She must go to the pub!) and try and meet her on a social level? Or heck, just sit next to her in class and ask her some economics questions.
You say she doesn't even know you exist. That's because you don't talk to her! Go talk to her!
It was to be expected I guess, as girls like that aren't likely to stay single for too long. Obviously wasn't meant to be, but I might still try and befriend her now the pressure is off, at least it will get me used to talking to attractive girls.
Right, now to listen to some feel good songs!
I'm going to stop watching romantic comedies one of these days, I swear.
Loving your train of thought there, but I'm fairly sure she's not doing too bad for herself.
I guess you never know who's staring sideways at you, one of the great mysteries of life (well, of my life anyway).
I know this is all done with OP and I am sympathetic, but I hope you see the hypocrisy in hoping that she's not so shallow she'd judge you on your looks, when you have gushed in this post about how beautiful she is and made no mention of her personality whatsoever!
I know, I know. I never seem to come across particularly well whenever I write anything on DS.
I do genuinely consider people as a person rather than a face, and although I don't know she is a lovely person, simply from casual observation she just seems nice.
Fair enough - I feel bad now:o It is refreshing to read a post from a male who will actually admit to romantic feelings, and it's rare that you hear 'she's beautiful', it's usually 'she's sexy/fit/hot'. I'm sorry that I picked at you.
Anyway I think you have the right idea about how to progress. Work on becoming her friend and you will either pick up on some flaws that make your infatuation ease off, or you are there on the spot if her existing relationship doesn't work out:D
I loved a mixed-simile
Don't worry, I didn't take it personally!
See, now you say I'll admit to romantic feelings, and whilst on the anonymous world of DS I will, in the real world, I find it impossible to tell someone I like them.
I don't think I'd go for an obvious complement on looks anyway. As I said, I don't think I can pull off the James Bond smooth approach!
We'll have to see how things pan out, but I'm guessing I'll be chalking up another 'too scared to do anything' experience.