Patriot Forced to Eat Fake Cornetto whilst Immigrants Force Fed Foie Gras
by Special Daily Mail correspondent Iva Biggun
When 72 year old Patriot, 123Keithy123 asked for an ice cream from a traditional Ice Cream Man, little did he realise the trauma he would be put through. The van bearing British plates but of swarthy foreign appearance, possibly painted blue and white in a distinctly non stiff upper lip appearance appeared in his street one day playing a distinctly foreign sounding tune, one that had come over from Eastern Europe in the back of a lorry. The victim queued in the British fashion and once meeting his turn in line approached the counter and asked for a Cornetto, indicating this traditional British delicacy on the side of the van. What he was given will shock and appal most decent citizens of this country. Instead of a corneto, he was handed an imitation. It may possibly have had 'SS-300 Theatre Ballistic Missile' written on the side but so far this cannot be verified. In no way shape or form was this the real thing... The victim was in such a shock that he was unable to challenge this flagrant disregard for all that is decent and honest in this country that he was unable to remonstrate with the deceptive knave in the van until it was too late. He later observed the perpetrator of this heinous crime in a side street repeating this offence whilst at the same time roasting a Swan on the bonnet of the van.. Police have asked the public to be vigilant and report sightings of this merchant of death (possibly merchant of non branded ice-creams) to the closest branch of MI5, MI6, MFI or DFS.
Comments
Are you some sort of Screwball?
No, just a sad, tragic woman with a terrible fake tan and a foot impediment. An Orange Maid with Funny Feet, to be truthful...
Haha.
Lol@devil's custard in this thread.
Think you might benefit from a Zoom!
But we've only just met! But still, you could be Dark and Golden and just the... just the... heck. I can't think of any more ice-creams.
*and Devils custard is sadly dragged from this thread, weakly shouting 'Knickerbocker Glory' and 'Haunted House - I have to mention Haunted House*