It wouldn't be right to show a reunion going wrong. They must do checks before they talk to the people and start filmimg. Last night was really touching. First the mum said about the matron being cruel to her in the mother and baby home. Later her son was taken ill after their first meeting. Hope he recovers and they can see more of eachother.
A reality check here about the bad old days. Both myself and a friend of mine were born of unmarried young mothers in the 40's and were both kept....despite coming from very poor families. Both of us were brought up a lot of the time by widowed grandmothers as our mothers had to go out to work to keep us.
My mum was initially thrown and went through hell to keep me staying where she wasn't welcome and returned home [forgiven] 2 years later with me.
Just saying, and certainly not judging anyone. Adoption wasn't always the only solution, even in the 40's, to what is a perennial issue.
However my life has not been easy by any account, perhaps I would have fared better if I had been adopted but I would rather not have gone through the torment of not knowing who my mother was as people in this programme have had to do for such long periods of time.
There's no right or wrong way, no solution that suits all, just different stories.
What amazes me is that this wasn't the dark ages when women were forced to give up their babies. It happened in the sixties anf into the seventies.
My grandmother had my mother when she was 16 at the beginning of WW1. My great grandfather refused to let her marry the father saying he was no good and she was brought up by my grandmother and her aunts. She subsuquently married him when she got pregnant again but they divorced in the twenties because my great grandfather was right, he was a womaniser.
I'm always struck that for some adoptees the finding of their birth mother or birth parents is of apocalyptic importance [ like the bloke last night, almost his health depended on a good outcome ] while others couldn't give a rat's ass who, why, or where their mother gave them up for adoption, or even if they have siblings.
They are happy that they were chosen, adopted and raised by loving and devoted parents and the reasons and details of their birth are minor details.
What amazes me is that this wasn't the dark ages when women were forced to give up their babies. It happened in the sixties anf into the seventies.
My grandmother had my mother when she was 16 at the beginning of WW1. My great grandfather refused to let her marry the father saying he was no good and she was brought up by my grandmother and her aunts. She subsuquently married him when she got pregnant again but they divorced in the twenties because my great grandfather was right, he was a womaniser.
It still was a stigma in the 60's/70s although nowhere near how it was when your grandmother had her baby. I have many friends (and relatives) who quietly got married and then said they had a 7 month baby, which everyone knew wasn't true. I had a friend in 1964 who was 16 when she got pregnant with no father around and I daren't tell my parents as I was sure they would stop me from seeing her.
When I had my first baby in 1970 there was an unmarried mother in the next bed. She was called 'Mrs' by all the staff, although everyone knew she was single. It just didn't do to acknowledge the fact, as if it was a dirty secret, they would pretend she was married. [Ridiculous even then].
When I had my second child in the same hospital, just over 3 years later in 1974, there was another single mother on the ward just like before. Incredibly no one pretended she was married, no secrecy went on, just a much more relaxed atmosphere altogether.
So in that short space of time the attitude towards unmarried mothers had seemed to have undergone a big change. And quite right too.
Both women kept their babies I believe.
I was agitated for years wanting to know about and meet my father, he died before I traced him. But I met a half brother. It wasn't like on the TV.....nice enough chap but not really interested, and he hasn't kept in touch. We hadn't bonded, had little in common and what he told me about my father was very disappointing to say the least.
A friend of mine got pregnant aged 16 in 1965 and was forced to have an abortion by her parents. I thought that was so cruel and wonder if she ever got over it. I wasn't allowed to see her outside of school afterwards as they deemed it was my fault! I'm female and I had no idea she was sexually active, as I certainly wasn't....
I remember my mum telling me years ago, that a few women she knew had got pregnant by American GIs just after the war. They all went back home to America, the women married local men who took them on, so to speak.
The children were never told that their real fathers were American, and grew up thinking that the man their mother was married to was their father.
What amazes me is that this wasn't the dark ages when women were forced to give up their babies. It happened in the sixties anf into the seventies.
My grandmother had my mother when she was 16 at the beginning of WW1. My great grandfather refused to let her marry the father saying he was no good and she was brought up by my grandmother and her aunts. She subsuquently married him when she got pregnant again but they divorced in the twenties because my great grandfather was right, he was a womaniser.
I just dont understand why so many women were forced to give up heir babies only a few years ago, my great grandmother had my grandad out of wedlock in 1919 and kept him and his brother unmarried for years until she later married when they were grown up.
I also knew another lady who had a child when she was single at around the same time and she kept the baby in the household, but baby was brought up as her little sister by her own mother.
How was this happening in the 60s and 70s when way back then she was able to keep both of her children quite happily?? how did women have so little rights over these decades when everything else was becoming easier for women?
I had a friend who fell pregnant in 1977 an although there was gossip, by then there was no mention of forcing anyone to do anything.
No neither do I. I would have thought that his experience would make him want to be even closer to his kids than to stay away from their key moments.
Its almost as if he was punishing his 'loved ones' for the mistakes of his own mother, strange man, cold man. didnt it say at the end that he was ill again and his mother hadnt seen him since? something along those lines that she hopes to see him soon . it all seemed very vague.
I just dont understand why so many women were forced to give up heir babies only a few years ago, my great grandmother had my grandad out of wedlock in 1919 and kept him and his brother unmarried for years until she later married when they were grown up.
I also knew another lady who had a child when she was single at around the same time and she kept the baby in the household, but baby was brought up as her little sister by her own mother.
How was this happening in the 60s and 70s when way back then she was able to keep both of her children quite happily?? how did women have so little rights over these decades when everything else was becoming easier for women?
I had a friend who fell pregnant in 1977 an although there was gossip, by then there was no mention of forcing anyone to do anything.
Both are more common than you think - in researching my family tree I can see a lot of women both keeping their babies and being forced into marriages or leaving their child with a sibling as 'part of a family' so as to keep it 'secret' etc. I am also adopted and was nearly a subject of a channel 4 documentary in 2006. I was the second child of my birth mother and my elder brother was kept and I was given up. At the time, my grandparents had told my birth mother that they would not help look after a second child so both my birth parents made a decision to have me adopted and unfortunately signed me away - even though when she came out of hospital my grandparents had set up a crib for me and everything... I don't regret being adopted and it causes problems at times etc but every case had its similarities and its differences etc
Tbh its all getting a bit samey I am losing interest they are rolling out the same story just with different people....
I agree, the more the series has gone on the less I have enjoyed it, as you say it's just the same back story all the time and after a while it starts to lose it's appeal.
I just dont understand why so many women were forced to give up heir babies only a few years ago, my great grandmother had my grandad out of wedlock in 1919 and kept him and his brother unmarried for years until she later married when they were grown up.
I also knew another lady who had a child when she was single at around the same time and she kept the baby in the household, but baby was brought up as her little sister by her own mother.
How was this happening in the 60s and 70s when way back then she was able to keep both of her children quite happily?? how did women have so little rights over these decades when everything else was becoming easier for women?
I had a friend who fell pregnant in 1977 an although there was gossip, by then there was no mention of forcing anyone to do anything.
Because in 1964 there was no benefit system. (That I was ever aware of).
You found yourself pregnant and you had to deal with it. It was doubtful that you could continue in your job so how would you pay your rent? Where would you and the baby live and how?
You were told without explanation from parents how to be a good girl but you'd done wrong and life looked black.
I felt sorry for the chap in the last episode especially as he was ill but it struck me odd that he took so long (affecting his family life) to find her as she seemed very easy to find.
I know the program does not always show the steps to trace someone, but he had her name , they found her marriage and she was living in this country. Even if you don't know how/where to find these records you can solicit some help (not from a tv prog) especially if it as important to you as it was to him.
It was not until I was an adult myself that I found out that a family member I had always thought of as my aunt, turned out to actually be my cousin as she was the daugther of the eldest girl in the family. I was so surprised that even as late as that it was kept a secret and I only found out through something another aunt said.
I remember reading a biography of Catherine Cookson the author. She was bought up to believe that her grandparents were her parents, as it was actually the one she thought was her sister that was her mother. She said that others must have known as she was once told by a little girl she went to school with, that she wasn't invited to her birthday party because she didn't have a father. How dreadful to take it out on a child, as if it was their fault.
I'm puzzled. The man who is looking for his Dad .... Nicky meets the siblings and the oldest girl says she asked her Dad if he had a son etc. Nicky asks her why she thought that and she answered another question instead.
Why would you ask your parent if they had another child?
I'm puzzled. The man who is looking for his Dad .... Nicky meets the siblings and the oldest girl says she asked her Dad if he had a son etc. Nicky asks her why she thought that and she answered another question instead.
Why would you ask your parent if they had another child?
I'm puzzled. The man who is looking for his Dad .... Nicky meets the siblings and the oldest girl says she asked her Dad if he had a son etc. Nicky asks her why she thought that and she answered another question instead.
Why would you ask your parent if they had another child?
I also thought that was a bit of an odd question too. The first thought the cynic in me came to was that the programme added that information to make it easier on the guy looking for his dad to take it all in. I hope I'm wrong.
Comments
My mum was initially thrown and went through hell to keep me staying where she wasn't welcome and returned home [forgiven] 2 years later with me.
Just saying, and certainly not judging anyone. Adoption wasn't always the only solution, even in the 40's, to what is a perennial issue.
However my life has not been easy by any account, perhaps I would have fared better if I had been adopted but I would rather not have gone through the torment of not knowing who my mother was as people in this programme have had to do for such long periods of time.
There's no right or wrong way, no solution that suits all, just different stories.
My grandmother had my mother when she was 16 at the beginning of WW1. My great grandfather refused to let her marry the father saying he was no good and she was brought up by my grandmother and her aunts. She subsuquently married him when she got pregnant again but they divorced in the twenties because my great grandfather was right, he was a womaniser.
They are happy that they were chosen, adopted and raised by loving and devoted parents and the reasons and details of their birth are minor details.
It still was a stigma in the 60's/70s although nowhere near how it was when your grandmother had her baby. I have many friends (and relatives) who quietly got married and then said they had a 7 month baby, which everyone knew wasn't true. I had a friend in 1964 who was 16 when she got pregnant with no father around and I daren't tell my parents as I was sure they would stop me from seeing her.
When I had my second child in the same hospital, just over 3 years later in 1974, there was another single mother on the ward just like before. Incredibly no one pretended she was married, no secrecy went on, just a much more relaxed atmosphere altogether.
So in that short space of time the attitude towards unmarried mothers had seemed to have undergone a big change. And quite right too.
Both women kept their babies I believe.
I was agitated for years wanting to know about and meet my father, he died before I traced him. But I met a half brother. It wasn't like on the TV.....nice enough chap but not really interested, and he hasn't kept in touch. We hadn't bonded, had little in common and what he told me about my father was very disappointing to say the least.
A friend of mine got pregnant aged 16 in 1965 and was forced to have an abortion by her parents. I thought that was so cruel and wonder if she ever got over it. I wasn't allowed to see her outside of school afterwards as they deemed it was my fault! I'm female and I had no idea she was sexually active, as I certainly wasn't....
The children were never told that their real fathers were American, and grew up thinking that the man their mother was married to was their father.
I just dont understand why so many women were forced to give up heir babies only a few years ago, my great grandmother had my grandad out of wedlock in 1919 and kept him and his brother unmarried for years until she later married when they were grown up.
I also knew another lady who had a child when she was single at around the same time and she kept the baby in the household, but baby was brought up as her little sister by her own mother.
How was this happening in the 60s and 70s when way back then she was able to keep both of her children quite happily?? how did women have so little rights over these decades when everything else was becoming easier for women?
I had a friend who fell pregnant in 1977 an although there was gossip, by then there was no mention of forcing anyone to do anything.
Its almost as if he was punishing his 'loved ones' for the mistakes of his own mother, strange man, cold man. didnt it say at the end that he was ill again and his mother hadnt seen him since? something along those lines that she hopes to see him soon . it all seemed very vague.
Both are more common than you think - in researching my family tree I can see a lot of women both keeping their babies and being forced into marriages or leaving their child with a sibling as 'part of a family' so as to keep it 'secret' etc. I am also adopted and was nearly a subject of a channel 4 documentary in 2006. I was the second child of my birth mother and my elder brother was kept and I was given up. At the time, my grandparents had told my birth mother that they would not help look after a second child so both my birth parents made a decision to have me adopted and unfortunately signed me away - even though when she came out of hospital my grandparents had set up a crib for me and everything... I don't regret being adopted and it causes problems at times etc but every case had its similarities and its differences etc
I agree, the more the series has gone on the less I have enjoyed it, as you say it's just the same back story all the time and after a while it starts to lose it's appeal.
Because in 1964 there was no benefit system. (That I was ever aware of).
You found yourself pregnant and you had to deal with it. It was doubtful that you could continue in your job so how would you pay your rent? Where would you and the baby live and how?
You were told without explanation from parents how to be a good girl but you'd done wrong and life looked black.
I could go on.
I aborted.
I know the program does not always show the steps to trace someone, but he had her name , they found her marriage and she was living in this country. Even if you don't know how/where to find these records you can solicit some help (not from a tv prog) especially if it as important to you as it was to him.
I remember reading a biography of Catherine Cookson the author. She was bought up to believe that her grandparents were her parents, as it was actually the one she thought was her sister that was her mother. She said that others must have known as she was once told by a little girl she went to school with, that she wasn't invited to her birthday party because she didn't have a father. How dreadful to take it out on a child, as if it was their fault.
Why would you ask your parent if they had another child?
That's why I said it seemed rehearsed. Very odd
She wouldn't look out of place on the Jeremy Kyle show!