Briefly--
Always been a loner.
Talking to mum before she passed I think she was too. Is this passed on?
Are there any sites where people like me can meet and chat? Friendship only, not looking for relationship.
Briefly--
Always been a loner.
Talking to mum before she passed I think she was too. Is this passed on?
Are there any sites where people like me can meet and chat? Friendship only, not looking for relationship.
After my divorce I hit the gym, pool and bought an MX 5
Meet up.com is great, but it is heavily location limited, for example, there would be a wider range of groups in say Manchester than there would be in Oldham, for example...
Does your village/town/city have any clubs that cater to your interests? Like book clubs, gardening clubs or photography clubs? Not only would you be getting out and meeting people, you'd also meet people with like minded interests.
Always been a loner.
Talking to mum before she passed I think she was too. Is this passed on?
I doubt it. I think it's a personal choice although it could well be "learned behaviour" - you learned it from your mum. Now you choose to avoid people.
Several "dating" sites allow you to select what you're looking for, i.e. friendship, casual hook-ups, long-term relationship etc. Make it clear on your profile that you just want to meet new people.
Away from the internet, find a hobby or some pastime that will help you connect with other people. Whether that's joining your local cycling club or attending a weekly pub quiz, there's no shortage of ways to find new pals.
And no, ability to make friends is not hereditary.
Thank you for all the tips. I will start looking into some of your suggestions.
As regards mum- it was amazing how my life mirrored hers even tho we never talked about it until almost the end. She felt isolated and victimised from childhood. Poss she wasn't but still FELT it.
N Mcr. I think Id be most comfortable online. Have read (loads) about ppl making great efforts to meet ppl only to be disappointed. I'm q articulate, gsoh, interested in loads of stuff from politics to TV. For what its worth I like this site. You can add comments, even 'chat' without being scammed (I think!)
N Mcr. I think Id be most comfortable online. Have read (loads) about ppl making great efforts to meet ppl only to be disappointed. I'm q articulate, gsoh, interested in loads of stuff from politics to TV. For what its worth I like this site. You can add comments, even 'chat' without being scammed (I think!)
This site is pretty good, but I'd still recommend Facebook as this is entirely faceless and people can do or say anything. There's still loads of that on Facebook but I generally chat to people I know quite well, having met through business.
I think I know how you feel. My parents didn't socialise and I was brought up in a non residential area and being an only child I only met other kids when I started school. But I was always the odd one out. My parents wouldn't allow me to join the brownies or anything so I was pretty lonely. So I've always been a loner. I find it difficult to join in conversations.
Unfortunately any relationships I've had in the past have never lasted. More recently I've suffered both mental and physical health problems, so find it difficult to talk to people in real life. I try to go out but I do tend to get down when I look around and see everyone else out with their friends or partners, wishing I could be like that.
I joined Mind when I first had mental problems but I couldn't face going to their classes. I've had CBT but that hasn't helped much. I tried an online site looking for friendship and thought I'd found someone but I found out just in time he was a conman and only after my money, which I haven't got much of anyway. I now find it very hard to trust people now and I've put the barriers up to protect myself, but I'd love to go out and have some company.
Maybe I'll try a pub quiz or something, if I can pluck up the courage to go.
Hope you find some friends, Kevin.
Thank you for your open and honest post. You know the best thing- now I don't feel I'm the only one in this posish. Keep an eye on this thread. I'll put up more details of my experience when I'm on the laptop.
I've found it difficult to have many friends due to moving around a lot and not keeping up with people in the past. Luckily I've always been able to go to things on my own; not that it's so easy for me just that otherwise I'd have had no life. I do have friends I've known for years but they don't live anywhere near me, we do meet up a few times a year and keep in touch mainly by text and/or Facebook. The problem when you move to a new place, especially when you're older, is that people already have their own group of friends. Also the last job I had before I retired I worked with 3 other girls, 2 in their early 20s and one who was about 18, so although we got on really well I wasn't going to be socialising with them.
I know you said you'd feel happier 'meeting' people online but you should try out U3A - University of the 3rd Age - in your local area. This is South Manchester for example: http://u3asites.org.uk/code/u3asite.php?site=409&page=2 (there's plenty of choice there) U3A is run for retired and semi-retired people over the age of 50. The tutors offer their services for free. If the nearest one to you isn't offering any classes that interest you, you can join in another area. At least this way you won't be disappointed meeting people as there will be all sorts of different people in these classes. I do tap dancing and have joined a small group to play Mahjong with the Wakefield U3A.
You could look for online Forums dedicated to stuff you are interested in. I do all sorts of crafts and have made 4 'real life' friends through craft forums. Good luck
meetup is pretty good, as is Spice
Then there are many walking/rambling groups, of all ages and abilities. Ramblers would be a good place to start, though you'll find others - your local outdoor shop will likely have a notice board. Decathlon will also have a board with sports based groups. There will be classes and clubs advertising in the local sports centre.
I also found some social groups by asking in the library and your local newspaper may have some listings in the ads section.
Yes you will need to be brave, but most people are honest and friendly, don't let a few put you off.
N Mcr. I think Id be most comfortable online. Have read (loads) about ppl making great efforts to meet ppl only to be disappointed. I'm q articulate, gsoh interested in loads of stuff from politics to TV. For what its worth I like this site. You can add comments, even 'chat' without being scammed (I think!)
Man that's old school! I wonder if the lmfao,wtf generation would know what gsoh means?
It's alright, I seem to spend half my time googling things. I actually made a few friends on here asking what iirc meant lol I had no idea. Each site has it's own unique ones...
Streetlife is a good site, over 1 million subscribers nationwide and you can sign up for your local area. Very community minded and friendly, with lots of suggestions for meeting up if that is what you wish to do.
I doubt it. I think it's a personal choice although it could well be "learned behaviour" - you learned it from your mum. Now you choose to avoid people.
Comments
After my divorce I hit the gym, pool and bought an MX 5
It was a good start
I doubt it. I think it's a personal choice although it could well be "learned behaviour" - you learned it from your mum. Now you choose to avoid people.
Facebook?
Frankly, if you don't want to die young you should make an effort to get out and meet people. The best way is to help people in need.
https://startpage.com/do/search?q=lonely+people+die+young&lui=english
Away from the internet, find a hobby or some pastime that will help you connect with other people. Whether that's joining your local cycling club or attending a weekly pub quiz, there's no shortage of ways to find new pals.
And no, ability to make friends is not hereditary.
As regards mum- it was amazing how my life mirrored hers even tho we never talked about it until almost the end. She felt isolated and victimised from childhood. Poss she wasn't but still FELT it.
Are you looking for online chat or actually to physically meet people?
This site is pretty good, but I'd still recommend Facebook as this is entirely faceless and people can do or say anything. There's still loads of that on Facebook but I generally chat to people I know quite well, having met through business.
It's good to have related hobbies
Unfortunately any relationships I've had in the past have never lasted. More recently I've suffered both mental and physical health problems, so find it difficult to talk to people in real life. I try to go out but I do tend to get down when I look around and see everyone else out with their friends or partners, wishing I could be like that.
I joined Mind when I first had mental problems but I couldn't face going to their classes. I've had CBT but that hasn't helped much. I tried an online site looking for friendship and thought I'd found someone but I found out just in time he was a conman and only after my money, which I haven't got much of anyway. I now find it very hard to trust people now and I've put the barriers up to protect myself, but I'd love to go out and have some company.
Maybe I'll try a pub quiz or something, if I can pluck up the courage to go.
Hope you find some friends, Kevin.
I know you said you'd feel happier 'meeting' people online but you should try out U3A - University of the 3rd Age - in your local area. This is South Manchester for example:
http://u3asites.org.uk/code/u3asite.php?site=409&page=2 (there's plenty of choice there) U3A is run for retired and semi-retired people over the age of 50. The tutors offer their services for free. If the nearest one to you isn't offering any classes that interest you, you can join in another area. At least this way you won't be disappointed meeting people as there will be all sorts of different people in these classes. I do tap dancing and have joined a small group to play Mahjong with the Wakefield U3A.
You could look for online Forums dedicated to stuff you are interested in. I do all sorts of crafts and have made 4 'real life' friends through craft forums. Good luck
Then there are many walking/rambling groups, of all ages and abilities. Ramblers would be a good place to start, though you'll find others - your local outdoor shop will likely have a notice board. Decathlon will also have a board with sports based groups. There will be classes and clubs advertising in the local sports centre.
I also found some social groups by asking in the library and your local newspaper may have some listings in the ads section.
Yes you will need to be brave, but most people are honest and friendly, don't let a few put you off.
Man that's old school! I wonder if the lmfao,wtf generation would know what gsoh means?
Correct! Though I remember it from the days of lonely hearts adverts in the paper
Gsoh,likes taking walks in the rain, not into yoga,into champagne! N/s.
I must admit... I cheated and googled it
It's alright, I seem to spend half my time googling things. I actually made a few friends on here asking what iirc meant lol I had no idea. Each site has it's own unique ones...
There's something worrying about a person claiming they have "a great sense of humour".
The Pina Colada Song ;-) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVdhZwK7cS8
If you don't want to die young? Wtf?
Why would loneliness make someone die young? If you don't have health problems then you should live to be around 80.
Some of us like to keep to ourselves and I don't see why we should be made to feel bad.
or how about a/s/l?!