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Write your own James Bond Film
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If you could write a 007 film, what would you do?
Who would be Bond?
Who would be the Villain?
What locations would you use?
What would the plot be about?
Who would be Bond?
Who would be the Villain?
What locations would you use?
What would the plot be about?
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Mr Bond's latest regeneration now prefers ..... men. A new twist in the Neverending Bond Story ...........
With Victoria Coren as M cos I fancy her. Kirsty Walk as a mad scottish albino assassin. Benedict Cumberthingy as "miss moneypenny". And why not have roger moore playing a cameo role as Q ?
Who would be the Villain? Mark Strong
What locations would you use? Australia (some stunt action on top of Sydney Opera House - plus sharks and assorted poisonous beasties used to deter Bond), Bahamas, USA (Area51), Norway, an aircraft carrier in the North Sea and a remote island in the Arctic Circle where the baddie has his lair in an abandoned WW2 submarine pen.
What would the plot be about? Baddie holding the world to ransom with some device that would cause a global environmental disaster.
You are Barbara Broccoli AICMFP.
and that's all you're getting
First, a spectacular beginning pre credit sequence with Bond in a vehicle bashing into things and people being burned, splashed and crushed. Bond emerges and tidies his hair and says e.g. 'Hot wet and flat. That's how women should be'. Credits with song by a recent hit maker.
Bond enters office and has byplay with secretary and then is called in to see M. (black, it's time for that now). Some bigwig is with him (a woman to restore sexual balance). There is a problem in some part of the world Bond films have not previously visited, and Bond goes off and infiltrates it, has sex with a female with a double enterdre name and foils the plot with swinging on a rope. Ends with him on moon with six nubile women on phone to M and asking for an extension of leave.
Dont' people ever get fed up with it|? Apparently not, shows what I know.
Villain: Terence Stamp with Ralf Moeller as his bodyguard
Location: I always like the Bond snow / ski scenes, so somewhere like that, and the Middle East
Plot: Usual
I quite like Eddie's idea
*credits with catchy song..*
*spy stuff*
*bang* *bang*
*witty one liner*
*bang hench lady*
*no Mr Bond, I expect you to die*
*dramatic escape*
*bang* *bang* *bang*
*kill big bad guy*
*witty one liner*
*bed main girl*
*Bond will return in. ....*
script writing is easy!
Why don't you tell us what you might do instead of griping?
Bond: Shrek
Villians: Colonel Saunders and Ronald MacDonald
Location: Horneytown, North Carolina
Plot: Shrek wants Subway
Bond Car: Station Wagon
Bond Girls: Susan Boyle & Lizzie Valaquez
Well, at least he's Scottish...
Thanks - had a thought about a couple of the locations - Australia and Area 51 - Oz has the Woomera rocket range so they have a connection -maybe the bad guys have knicked something. If the Brocolli's are reading, I'm available and cheap
Plot: Bond (Craig) is told to behave himself as he's sent undercover in some foreign political hotbed. He blows it immediately by punching someone at the airport. He then punches anyone he comes across, including Felix, M, and even his nice expensive car, which, as per usual, he writes off after ten minutes.
Film ends with Bond being sectioned and bundled into a white van. 'I'll have the lot of you!' he bellows. Film makes $800m and a follow-up 'Want Some?' is quickly announced.
This has promise - "The Spy Who Spilled My Pint", "Kick The Living Daylights Out Of You", "The World Is Not Hard Enough" and "You Only Look At My Bird Once".
.....er ..... as if the plots of many existing Bond movies were not very surreal ........ wot with Fleming's weird sexual folklore and the impossible gadgets and the fact that Bond must be a time lord ............
Write.
Who would be Bond?
Daniel Craig. If he's busy, then Henry Cavill.
Who would be the Villain?
Vithaya Pansringarm.
What locations would you use?
Scotland, Wales, France, Fiji, Indonesia, Thailand and England.
What would the plot be about?
A cross between the Cato Street Conspiracy and the Gunpowder Plot with a touch of the Toranomon Incident. In short, there's a conspiracy to use a global event in a not-yet-identified country as a platform of his demonstration to the world. The kind that will annihilate certain countries. It's down to Bond to track down the key conspirators around the world. Boring, but works for me.
My Bond - I'm torn on this. I could easily see Guy Pierce or Michael Fassbender or Paddy Considine or Eric Bana doing the role well but I'm not sure they would take it and they might be too well-known and unwilling to take on a franchise role at the stage of their career they are at. It might be better with a younger actor like Andrew Garfield or Eddie Redmayne if you want to get 4-5 movies out of them. I'm not even sure that the role really demands a great and lauded actor - maybe just a fairly unknown, dark, brooding sort who can play that kind of stoic role.
My villains - Charlotte Rampling as corrupt ex-MI5 head who secretly funded off-books missions. Tim Spall as accomplice and senior traitor still at MI5. Michael Pitt as young American financier of *dodgy missions*. Sean Harris as cold blooded assassin who tails Bond.
Big action set piece - How about a shootout at the Louvre with all the masterpieces getting shot up?
I'm struggling with the plot. Have so far thought of weaponised viruses, human trafficking but can't really get past the idea that I might be thinking of actual Bond movies! The parody would be easier for me to do.
Title: BlueDodge
Cast-
James Bond- Daniel Craig
M-Judi Dench
Bill Tanner- David Tennant
Ben Hardy( Villain)- Matt Lucas
Toby Baker- Benedict Cumberbatch
Faye Wilcox- Kirsten Dunst
Alec Mayhew- Michael Palin
Locations- London, Dublin, Trinidad & Tobago, San Francisco, Ibiza, Madrid, Austria and Cornwall.
Plot- to sum it up, the plot would basically be about Bond playing a game of Life & Death with a Criminal Mastermind called Ben Hardy ( Lucas); the film begins with a Royal Navy Battleship sink by a mysterious Alien-type Ship hidden in the depths of the Atlantic Ocean. MI6 are assigned by the Government to investigate what happened, and Hardy is later found responsible for a series of Violent Terrorist attacks round the World. Hardy is a Scientist, who runs a very successful Engineering business. He lives in a Huge mania ion on the snowy parts of Austria, and Bond is assigned to catch him.
Cumberbatch on the other hand, Plays Toby Baker, a corrupt member of the British Government, sort of similar to Sean Bean's character in Goldeneye. He meddles in the Government's business several times in the Film, attempting to bring them down, and it's later revealed that he's working for Hardy.
Dunst is the Bond Girl; her Character's name is Faye Wilcox. She is a Australian Federal Agent also assigned by her Government to take down Hardy. She & 007 strike up a good friendship, and she is one of those typical Butch/Hard women who don't take any BS from anybody, not even their friends. Anyway, she is killed off halfway through the Movie by Hardy's men, who beat her to death in her Hotel Room in Penzance. Bond is accused of her death, but is cleared with the help of Felix Leiter( Played by Adrain Lester).
Michael Palin plays Alec Mayhew, the Co-Conspirator of Hardy. Bond tracks him down to Ibiza in a attempt to find out more about Hardy, but when 007 catches him, it leads to a long chase sequence on which 007 chases Mayhew all round Ibiza, after tiring of Hardy's vile ways, he grasses up to MI6; he is killed by Hardy, who strangles him to death and blows up his Apartment in Ibiza.
And finally, Matt Lucas plays Ben Hardy, a Evil Scientist obsessed with wiping out the Human Race. He plots to trigger a Third World War between all of the Major Countries in a attempt to not only wipeout the Human Race, but build up a new Ocean World, a bit similar to Karl Stromberg from The Spy Who Loved me.
Hardy is Ruthless, Remorseless, Vile and Twisted. And will stop at absolutely nothing to get what he wants.
What do you guys think on this idea? Any suggestions?