Is giving birth to a big baby a "badge of honour"?

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  • Miss XYZMiss XYZ Posts: 14,023
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    My eldest was just over 8lb and was born 2 weeks early. They told me my pelvis is quite small so they felt it would be safer for me to have a c section. That turned out to be for the best, as he was seriously ill when born. The fact he was a chunky little thing probably helped him too.

    I agree with those saying having a child isn't an achievement as such - like I said my eldest was very ill when born, so if giving birth is seen as an achievement then in that sense it would mean I failed because my body didn't produce a perfectly formed and healthy baby.
  • sweetpeanutsweetpeanut Posts: 4,805
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    If the child is so young to only just be able to roll over, I don't think it's quite ready to understand sarcasm!!
    Sheesh, you make one innocent comment on here and people are quick as a flash ready to hang you out to dry.

    Have you read that posters strange rants? If they do it all the time, they do it in front of their child as well and it wont stay young for long.
    I have heard amazing stuff said in front of kids. as some people have no understanding of how much a child can understand.

    You also dont know how old the child was. Maybe they thought there is nothing clever about it as it was a year old. ;-)
  • duckyluckyduckylucky Posts: 13,827
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    Right , I take back the word achievement .For some reason its causeing offence where non was intended .
    And now I bow out .
  • Jambo_cJambo_c Posts: 4,672
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    Have you read that posters strange rants? If they do it all the time, they do it in front of their child as well and it wont stay young for long.
    I have heard amazing stuff said in front of kids. as some people have no understanding of how much a child can understand.

    Can you please point me in the direction of a "strange rant" that I've made? I was quite unaware that I'd even been ranting, never mind in a strange manner.
  • sweetpeanutsweetpeanut Posts: 4,805
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    Jambo_c wrote: »
    Can you please point me in the direction of a "strange rant" that I've made? I was quite unaware that I'd even been ranting, never mind in a strange manner.

    It comes across to me and a few others on here as a strange rant. You seem to go out of your way to reply to the normal questions on birth, with a question on why they would want to know. You go out of your way to make people feel awkward when really its you. not them being awkward.

    Maybe its because you come over like someone I used to know, they were always a damp squid on everything and anything. So maybe its me, not you. :D
  • BlueEyedMrsPBlueEyedMrsP Posts: 12,178
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    I'd like to add that when people talk about a baby's weight, it's not (from my point of view) a bragging thing at all, it's more 'oh gosh, I know how you must feel, my baby was .... lbs'. When I've discussed my babies' weights in the past with other moms, that's kind of how I saw it anyway. Why do we talk about births? Maybe because for some women it was difficult. Sure, children are born every day, and in that regard it's nothing special, but for many of us, medical intervention was necessary and our babies might not have made it otherwise. For that reason I do see it as special.

    For the person who thinks women get loose vaginas from having large babies (or multiple children), I think they've been taking biology lessons from Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life". Slightly worrying.
  • Jambo_cJambo_c Posts: 4,672
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    It comes across to me and a few others on here as a strange rant. You seem to go out of your way to reply to the normal questions on birth, with a question on why they would want to know. You go out of your way to make people feel awkward when really its you. not them being awkward.

    Maybe its because you come over like someone I used to know, they were always a damp squid on everything and anything. So maybe its me, not you. :D

    OK, so explain to me why people ask how much a baby weighs? Nobody actually seems to know or have a valid answer beyond "it's tradition" or "it's just what you do" or "it's polite". When you actually think about it in a rational way it's a bizarre thing to ask and makes no sense. It's just something I've never even able to get my head around.

    I've certainly not ranted about anything though and I'm definitely not a damp sea creature. I'm not a damp squib either.
  • epicurianepicurian Posts: 19,291
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    Well, only speaking for myself, I do consider my healthy pregnancy a bit of an achievement. I was told at an early age that having children would shorten my life, or leave me blind or kill me. It was a struggle, and there was a lot of heartbreak but it finally happened, if only in part due to a lot of bloody hard work on my part. I understand most of it was out of my control but I don't mind taking some credit.
  • viertevierte Posts: 4,286
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    Jambo_c wrote: »
    OK, so explain to me why people ask how much a baby weighs? Nobody actually seems to know or have a valid answer beyond "it's tradition" or "it's just what you do" or "it's polite". When you actually think about it in a rational way it's a bizarre thing to ask and makes no sense. It's just something I've never even able to get my head around.

    I've certainly not ranted about anything though and I'm definitely not a damp sea creature. I'm not a damp squib either.
    To get correctly sized clothing and women ask other women because like another poster said it's something to relate to. If someone else has a tiny baby or a big one and you did too it starts a conversation where you can ask about feeding and how their weight gain was and have a general conversation. I know I'm curious as to how my son is progressing along with other babies born at the same weight/time.
  • Jambo_cJambo_c Posts: 4,672
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    vierte wrote: »
    To get correctly sized clothing and women ask other women because like another poster said it's something to relate to. If someone else has a tiny baby or a big one and you did too it starts a conversation where you can ask about feeding and how their weight gain was and have a general conversation. I know I'm curious as to how my son is progressing along with other babies born at the same weight/time.

    I'm not buying the clothes thing as people just buy 0-3 months stuff, we got bought tonnes of stuff and it was nearly all 0-3 months.

    Could understand it's a female thing so they've got something to talk about although I had loads of people asking me and I'm pretty sure most of them didn't ask because they actually wanted to discuss baby weights.

    As I've said, to me it just always seems an odd thing to ask or announce. Whenever anyone announces a baby weight I just think "why the hell are you telling me this, I couldn't care less?"
  • SULLASULLA Posts: 149,789
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    My dad was 14 1/2 lbs and I was a mere 10 1/2 lbs
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,924
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    Jambo_c wrote: »
    I'm not buying the clothes thing as people just buy 0-3 months stuff, we got bought tonnes of stuff and it was nearly all 0-3 months.

    Could understand it's a female thing so they've got something to talk about although I had loads of people asking me and I'm pretty sure most of them didn't ask because they actually wanted to discuss baby weights.

    As I've said, to me it just always seems an odd thing to ask or announce. Whenever anyone announces a baby weight I just think "why the hell are you telling me this, I couldn't care less?"

    Sorry but I disagree. People don't just buy baby clothes in 0-3 months without consulting the parents or mum at least. If people are giving a baby present they like to think it will be of some use and 0-3 might be too big for many babies.
  • prgirl_cescaprgirl_cesca Posts: 477
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    vierte wrote: »
    To get correctly sized clothing and women ask other women because like another poster said it's something to relate to. If someone else has a tiny baby or a big one and you did too it starts a conversation where you can ask about feeding and how their weight gain was and have a general conversation. I know I'm curious as to how my son is progressing along with other babies born at the same weight/time.

    There is quite an obsession with weight at baby clubs etc and I found that women with heavier/larger babies were very proud and the health visitors always praising them.

    My son was a tiny 6lb 2oz when born and they were always obsessed with how much weight he was or wasn't gaining.

    It's strange as if you had a 8 year old on 99th centile or above you wouldn't be as proud perhaps.
  • Jambo_cJambo_c Posts: 4,672
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    avasgranny wrote: »
    Sorry but I disagree. People don't just buy baby clothes in 0-3 months without consulting the parents or mum at least. If people are giving a baby present they like to think it will be of some use and 0-3 might be too big for many babies.

    Well, for us and most of our mates people just bought 0-3. Sizes vary from make to make too and we found 0-3 from one shop would fit but from another shop would be slightly too big. Being slightly big isn't an issue and doesn't prevent the gift being useful as babies have this habit of growing and will grow into things.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,924
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    Jambo_c wrote: »
    Well, for us and most of our mates people just bought 0-3. Sizes vary from make to make too and we found 0-3 from one shop would fit but from another shop would be slightly too big. Being slightly big isn't an issue and doesn't prevent the gift being useful as babies have this habit of growing and will grow into things.

    Wow sarky! :D
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