Someone For Everyone

JasonJason Posts: 76,557
Forum Member
✭✭✭
I was actually looking for a song of the same name by an artist called Nikka Costa (which i found, in case anyone wanted to ask :)) and found this rather interesting opinion piece which i thought i'd leave out there if anyone fancies a read ..
I’m afraid that would be a no – there isn’t actually someone out there for every individual. Ridiculous, say you? Think about it; how could the worst of the worst, the most screwed up and morally-deprived individuals in the world have soul mates out there just waiting for them?

http://elitedaily.com/dating/the-harsh-truth-about-whether-or-not-there-is-someone-for-everyone/608721/
«1

Comments

  • AsarualimAsarualim Posts: 3,884
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Seems logical to me, For there to be someone out there for everyone then that would have to be in some way guided by some force to make it so, to create the right combination of appearance and personality in a person to make them suitable for another. And that would have to happen several billion times across the world. Then factor in location so the match is within a reasonable diastance and it just looks even sillier to suggest there's someone out there for everyone.

    I suspect such words when given to someone are merely intended to comfort them in their loneliness, even though it is a kind of empty statement that doesn't stand up to even the slightest examination.

    Hi btw, long time no see. :)
  • James FrederickJames Frederick Posts: 53,184
    Forum Member
    I have always thought that.

    Everyone has the one for them

    Well given how many people are in the world
    Given how big the world is

    What is the chance of meeting that person let alone them living in your country let alone town or somewhere where you could meet them even if you factor in the internet the chance of happening to meet the one for you must be billions to one .

    Chances are someone living say in London their one could be in America -Australia -Japan.
  • JasonJason Posts: 76,557
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Asarualim wrote: »
    Seems logical to me, For there to be someone out there for everyone then that would have to be in some way guided by some force to make it so, to create the right combination of appearance and personality in a person to make them suitable for another. And that would have to happen several billion times across the world. Then factor in location so the match is within a reasonable diastance and it just looks even sillier to suggest there's someone out there for everyone.

    I suspect such words when given to someone are merely intended to comfort them in their loneliness, even though it is a kind of empty statement that doesn't stand up to even the slightest examination.

    Hi btw, long time no see. :)

    Hello again :)

    I agree with you actually, I do think it's more of a way of placating someone rather than a statement that actually holds any legitimacy.
    I have always thought that.

    Everyone has the one for them

    Well given how many people are in the world
    Given how big the world is

    What is the chance of meeting that person let alone them living in your country let alone town or somewhere where you could meet them even if you factor in the internet the chance of happening to meet the one for you must be billions to one .

    Chances are someone living say in London their one could be in America -Australia -Japan.

    Asa puts it far more eloquently than I ever could, but needless to say, as you probably well know, it's not a concept I believe in or will ever believe in. The last part of your post, for me, is where the argument falls over. What if your "someone" lives on the other side of the world ?

    The chances of actually meeting that person would be infinitesimal at best.
  • AsarualimAsarualim Posts: 3,884
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I have always thought that.

    Everyone has the one for them

    Well given how many people are in the world
    Given how big the world is

    What is the chance of meeting that person let alone them living in your country let alone town or somewhere where you could meet them even if you factor in the internet the chance of happening to meet the one for you must be billions to one .

    Chances are someone living say in London their one could be in America -Australia -Japan.

    What makes you think there is someone for everyone? Surely out there there must be at leat one person for whom nobody would be suitable - psychopaths, sociopaths, etc. Do they all have that someone out there?
  • James FrederickJames Frederick Posts: 53,184
    Forum Member
    Asarualim wrote: »
    What makes you think there is someone for everyone? Surely out there there must be at leat one person for whom nobody would be suitable - psychopaths, sociopaths, etc. Do they all have that someone out there?

    I don't believe that.

    Though look at how many murdering couples there have been Bonnie and Clyde-Ian Brady and Myra Hindley-Fred and Rose West so no matter how crazy you are maybe you can find another crazy person
  • AsarualimAsarualim Posts: 3,884
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I don't believe that.

    Though look at how many murdering couples there have been Bonnie and Clyde-Ian Brady and Myra Hindley-Fred and Rose West so no matter how crazy you are maybe you can find another crazy person

    Apologies, when you said "I have always thought that." I thought you were agreeing that "Everyone has the one for them ".

    Regardng murderous couples, I'd say they are the exception, when you look at the number of individual, lone murderers. The response to such murderers from neighbours is usually "they kept themslves to themselves", etc.
  • AndrueAndrue Posts: 23,351
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Taken literally, probably not. But taken as intended (anyone can find a long term partner) I'd agree. Not everyone wants a 'soul mate'. Some of us just want someone we can trust with our front door key, who sees the world more or less the same way and who is up for a bit of fun under the covers now and again.
  • Chilli DragonChilli Dragon Posts: 24,684
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    It could be possible, due to the sheer amount of people, that there is someone who would be ideal for us somewhere in the world, but they could be 4000 miles away, or 70 years older, or a Leeds Utd fan, or a mass murderer, or Jeremy Hunt.

    The idea that people have a "soul mate" who they just happen to meet in their immediate social group is a load of auld bollix.
  • James FrederickJames Frederick Posts: 53,184
    Forum Member
    Andrue wrote: »
    Taken literally, probably not. But taken as intended (anyone can find a long term partner) I'd agree. Not everyone wants a 'soul mate'. Some of us just want someone we can trust with our front door key, who sees the world more or less the same way and who is up for a bit of fun under the covers now and again.

    BIB

    No that's the last thing I would want

    I sometimes feel I would like someone for purely companionship purposes but that would be a relationship breaker fr me.
  • reglipreglip Posts: 5,268
    Forum Member
    I was actually looking for a song of the same name by an artist called Nikka Costa (which i found, in case anyone wanted to ask :)) and found this rather interesting opinion piece which i thought i'd leave out there if anyone fancies a read ..



    http://elitedaily.com/dating/the-harsh-truth-about-whether-or-not-there-is-someone-for-everyone/608721/

    There is always someone with low enough standards for everyone. The lowest of the low most screwed up people are often in prison on life terms, or in america on death row and those male inmates often have relationships with women who are attracted to the lowest of the low most screwed up people.
  • culturemancultureman Posts: 11,700
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    It isn't meant to be a literal truth. Doubt whether any 'truisms' are literally true.
  • James FrederickJames Frederick Posts: 53,184
    Forum Member
    cultureman wrote: »
    It isn't meant to be a literal truth.

    We know that.

    Maybe what should be said is

    "Sooner or later most people will find someone who will do for now"
  • radyagradyag Posts: 2,220
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    As an ugly gay man who has/will always be alone, I say folly to romantic nonsense. I want a big straight rugby player, and ain't gona take anything less. I'm still waiting in my 40s, but
  • RebelScumRebelScum Posts: 16,008
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    I was actually looking for a song of the same name by an artist called Nikka Costa (which i found, in case anyone wanted to ask :)) and found this rather interesting opinion piece which i thought i'd leave out there if anyone fancies a read ..

    "I’m afraid that would be a no – there isn’t actually someone out there for every individual. Ridiculous, say you? Think about it; how could the worst of the worst, the most screwed up and morally-deprived individuals in the world have soul mates out there just waiting for them?"

    http://elitedaily.com/dating/the-harsh-truth-about-whether-or-not-there-is-someone-for-everyone/608721/

    I haven't read the link, only the bit you quoted. I agree there isn't necessarily someone out there for everyone, but I would add that it has nothing to do with how good or bad the person is. Even the most ruthless killer could find someone who will share share enjoyment in their perverted practices, or you can be a perfectly nice person and never meet someone you feel a close enough connection with.
  • RubricalRubrical Posts: 2,715
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I've never really believed it. It makes me think of that song "You're nobody til somebody loves you" Well, then there's a lot of nobodies walking around!
  • feckitfeckit Posts: 4,303
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    "The world is too big for love to be real. There are too many people in the world to ever know, beyond everything, that you are with the right person. That your heart is as swollen as it can be. Think of all the people in China. It is unlikely anyone will ever meet all of them. How can we know for certain, that trapped inside a foreign language and thumping in a foreign heart there isn’t a love that is meant for us. The infinite possibility of existence, its limitless potential, is the proof that we need that love is nothing more than an imagination, a human folly, friendship swollen with self-importance, a final retreat from the storm of possibility. The love of our life could so easily have been someone else. It is random and accidental, haphazard and unsystematic. That which we feel for one person, clinging on to the delusion of destiny, could so easily be felt for a million people should the timing and the meetings and the mutual readiness have coalesced at some other time in some other place. Should someone else have accepted us or rejected us then everything would have been different. And once we know this, we know that all love is a lie. Not honesty but deception. Not heroism but cowardice. An unspoken agreement of mutual consolidation and compromise, a shield from possibility and a bed in which to sleep, nothing more than that. But I do still miss her."

    Daniel Kitson
  • Bex_123Bex_123 Posts: 10,783
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    I was actually looking for a song of the same name by an artist called Nikka Costa (which i found, in case anyone wanted to ask :)) and found this rather interesting opinion piece which i thought i'd leave out there if anyone fancies a read ..



    http://elitedaily.com/dating/the-harsh-truth-about-whether-or-not-there-is-someone-for-everyone/608721/

    Of course there isn't one perfect person out there for everyone. But there are plenty of people who if you met them you would be able to form a connection with.

    I think the song 'If I didn't have you' by Tim Minchin says it nicely:

    Your love is one in a million
    You couldn't buy it at any price
    But of the 9.999 hundred thousand other possible loves
    Statistically, some of them would be equally nice

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gaid72fqzNE
  • TallywackerTallywacker Posts: 1,561
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Is this thread all about 'the one'? A ridiculous concept if ever there was one. You hear so many people say it and it gets more twee each time. To think that there's only 1 person in the world that you're meant to be with (oh, and they live locally!) is quite a myopic view.

    There are of course countless 'someones for everyone'.
  • DavonatorDavonator Posts: 4,406
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Just on statistics there are likely to be people out there who are amazingly good matches and who compliment people incredibly well. That's the good news
    Is this thread all about 'the one'? A ridiculous concept if ever there was one. You hear so many people say it and it gets more twee each time. To think that there's only 1 person in the world that you're meant to be with (oh, and they live locally!) is quite a myopic view.

    Yes, I agree. This is where it all gets worrying, when people genuinely start to think of 'the one' in some kind of Disney fairtytale kind of way. Where fate will bring them together and they will live happily every after. I am amazed how many people well into adulthood still believe this mystical nonsense.
  • SoundboxSoundbox Posts: 6,241
    Forum Member
    When someone walks up to me and smiles I used to smile back until I realised they were smiling at someone behind me...

    Anyway, I don't really think there is anyone for me despite what they say. But if someone does want me they should let me know.
  • Bex_123Bex_123 Posts: 10,783
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Soundbox wrote: »
    When someone walks up to me and smiles I used to smile back until I realised they were smiling at someone behind me...

    Anyway, I don't really think there is anyone for me despite what they say. But if someone does want me they should let me know.

    Well in my post I said statistically there is not just one compatible person for everyone, but plenty.

    Why do you feel there is no one out there that you would be compatible with?
  • DinkyDoobieDinkyDoobie Posts: 17,786
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Think about it; how could the worst of the worst, the most screwed up and morally-deprived individuals in the world have soul mates out there just waiting for them?

    john wayne gacey had a wife, fred west had a wife, charles manson just got married...
  • SoundboxSoundbox Posts: 6,241
    Forum Member
    Bex_123 wrote: »
    Well in my post I said statistically there is not just one compatible person for everyone, but plenty.

    Why do you feel there is no one out there that you would be compatible with?

    People are busy with their own lives and there is no reason why they should take time out to waste getting to know me. Maybe there is more than one, but they are probably too busy with life to see I am there. Anyway, I'm sure someone else will be just as good as me when they are ready.
  • KarlSomethingKarlSomething Posts: 3,529
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    feckit wrote: »
    "... There are too many people in the world to ever know, beyond everything, that you are with the right person. ...

    There are about 7.2 billion people in the world. And just over 3.15 billion seconds in a century. You couldn't even individually greet everyone currently alive within your lifetime.

    There are a ridiculous number of humans around, and humans aren't that varied that there aren't going to be multiple people that each could tolerate being around for a while. But that's not the same as actually finding them among the relatively few people out of everyone that you're going to meet, and out of those much fewer you're able to or allowed to take the time to mutually get to know.
  • SoundboxSoundbox Posts: 6,241
    Forum Member
    There are about 7.2 billion people in the world. And just over 3.15 billion seconds in a century. You couldn't even individually greet everyone currently alive within your lifetime.

    There are a ridiculous number of humans around, and humans aren't that varied that there aren't going to be multiple people that each could tolerate being around for a while. But that's not the same as actually finding them among the relatively few people out of everyone that you're going to meet, and out of those much fewer you're able to or allowed to take the time to mutually get to know.

    So no hope then:cry:
Sign In or Register to comment.