My friend's girlfriend left him yesterday for another man. He was very much in love with her and he (and I) thought she felt the same way. He was about to propose to her, showing how serious he was and so he is really devastated now.
Any advice on what I should do to cheer him up?
Any and all help will be greatly appreciated .
Tell your friend the truth: he's had a narrow escape. His girlfriend has deceived him, and the person he was in love with didn't in reality exist.
Look at the ratio of misery to happiness that a huge number (if not most) people seem to experience as a result of the delusion of "romantic love" and do what you'd do if someone told you that if you regularly stuck pins in your eyes, once in a while you might get some pleasure from it.
Or alternatively learn to keep your emotions in check and never get carried away - however few people seem able to do this, bar the best Pick-Up Artists.
Look at the ratio of misery to happiness that a huge number (if not most) people seem to experience as a result of the delusion of "romantic love" and do what you'd do if someone told you that if you regularly stuck pins in your eyes, once in a while you might get some pleasure from it.
Or alternatively learn to keep your emotions in check and never get carried away - however few people seem able to do this, bar the best Pick-Up Artists.
Oh, that's good advice.
I thought you meant suicide ...but you were posting so I thought: .
I thought you meant suicide ...but you were posting so I thought: .
Steady on!
Then again, ironically some people have committed suicide - or murder - over disappointment in romantic love, which is perhaps another reason why it should be avoided.
Then again, ironically some people have committed suicide - or murder - over disappointment in romantic love, which is perhaps another reason why it should be avoided.
His world has changed overnight and will need to get over it in his own time. Be there if he wants to talk to someone but he will go out when he is ready.
I found I needed to rest when I was at home. I pampered myself and slept a lot. During the day I was busy at college. I felt really sick as well. The hardest bit was not having a partner to go out with but I worked out why the relationship broke up and it put everything into proportion after a while.
It took me a month to get over my break up from my ex, then I was out and about dating again.
His world has changed overnight and will need to get over it in his own time. Be there if he wants to talk to someone but he will go out when he is ready.
I found I needed to rest when I was at home. I pampered myself and slept a lot. During the day I was busy at college. I felt really sick as well. The hardest bit was not having a partner to go out with but I worked out why the relationship broke up and it put everything into proportion after a while.
It took me a month to get over my break up from my ex, then I was out and about dating again.
Thanks for your advice:).
I'm glad that you got over your ex...its their loss :)!
Look at the ratio of misery to happiness that a huge number (if not most) people seem to experience as a result of the delusion of "romantic love" and do what you'd do if someone told you that if you regularly stuck pins in your eyes, once in a while you might get some pleasure from it.
Or alternatively learn to keep your emotions in check and never get carried away - however few people seem able to do this, bar the best Pick-Up Artists.
I am starting to agree with all this. Unfortunately I'm not one of those people that can just be casual and not have feelings (probably because I'm female). I wish I could.:(
I am starting to agree with all this. Unfortunately I'm not one of those people that can just be casual and not have feelings (probably because I'm female). I wish I could.:(
Awww, don't worry. I'm sure you'll find happiness sooner rather than later !
I can't believe some of the replies that I'm reading here. He won't be the first that this has happened to and he won't be the last. It's happened to me and I sympathize. He will undoubtably be feeling utterly dreadful and that is an understatement, but the best thing that you can do is to be there for him and offer all the support that you can. You sound like a good friend, so don't encourage him to drink or take drugs - it doesn't work. Probably most importantly, monitor his situation very carefully and watch that he doesn't enter into a serious depression - if this happens he will probably need professional help. Ultimately, although this willl not be much comfort to him, he will get over it.
I can't believe some of the replies that I'm reading here. He won't be the first that this has happened to and he won't be the last. It's happened to me and I sympathize. He will undoubtably be feeling utterly dreadful and that is an understatement, but the best thing that you can do is to be there for him and offer all the support that you can. You sound like a good friend, so don't encourage him to drink or take drugs - it doesn't work. Probably most importantly, monitor his situation very carefully and watch that he doesn't enter into a serious depression - if this happens he will probably need professional help. Ultimately, although this willl not be much comfort to him, he will get over it.
OK. Thanks for your advice . I have to make sure he doesn't get depressed or does something stupid or dangerous.
OP, you can only let him grieve. I got dumped when was about 17 for someone else and it took me about 6 months to get over her.
There is very little you can do or say to make things better. He's lucky in that he has a supportive mate, but no matter how hard you try, you can't make him feel better about things. Be there for him if he wants to go for a beer. He'll get over it with some time.
OP, you can only let him grieve. I got dumped when was about 17 for someone else and it took me about 6 months to get over her.
There is very little you can do or say to make things better. He's lucky in that he has a supportive mate, but no matter how hard you try, you can't make him feel better about things. Be there for him if he wants to go for a beer. He'll get over it with some time.
My friend's ex has called me to pass on a message to him, it sounded really important. He doesn't answer her calls and she is too scared to go down there. I said that I would think it over and call her back.
My friend's ex has called me to pass on a message to him, it sounded really important. He doesn't answer her calls and she is too scared to go down there. I said that I would think it over and call her back.
Any thoughts?
Hmm, difficult position she is putting you in. Depending on how important (and genuine) you feel she is being, you should tell him. However, if you think she is just using you to get to him, tell her to F off!!!
Hmm, difficult position she is putting you in. Depending on how important (and genuine) you feel she is being, you should tell him. However, if you think she is just using you to get to him, tell her to F off!!!
OK, thanks .
I think she is being genuine. I'll call her tomorrow (I'm too tired right now).
Comments
Thanks for your advice
What do you mean?
Nothing too serious , just that she's unkind to puppies or worships satan.
I thought of telling him that. I'll suggest it in the next couple of days.
Tell your friend the truth: he's had a narrow escape. His girlfriend has deceived him, and the person he was in love with didn't in reality exist.
That's some good advice. Thanks
Look at the ratio of misery to happiness that a huge number (if not most) people seem to experience as a result of the delusion of "romantic love" and do what you'd do if someone told you that if you regularly stuck pins in your eyes, once in a while you might get some pleasure from it.
Or alternatively learn to keep your emotions in check and never get carried away - however few people seem able to do this, bar the best Pick-Up Artists.
Oh, that's good advice.
I thought you meant suicide
Steady on!
Then again, ironically some people have committed suicide - or murder - over disappointment in romantic love, which is perhaps another reason why it should be avoided.
I have to make sure that he doesn't hurt himself.
Yes, you can say that. Thank you
Well, I treasure all of my friends and if anything or anyone upsets them I feel obligated to try and help them sort it out.
His world has changed overnight and will need to get over it in his own time. Be there if he wants to talk to someone but he will go out when he is ready.
I found I needed to rest when I was at home. I pampered myself and slept a lot. During the day I was busy at college. I felt really sick as well. The hardest bit was not having a partner to go out with but I worked out why the relationship broke up and it put everything into proportion after a while.
It took me a month to get over my break up from my ex, then I was out and about dating again.
Thanks for your advice:).
I'm glad that you got over your ex...its their loss
I am starting to agree with all this. Unfortunately I'm not one of those people that can just be casual and not have feelings (probably because I'm female). I wish I could.:(
Awww, don't worry. I'm sure you'll find happiness sooner rather than later
Thanks but I don't hold out much hope as I'm already 36.
There is very little you can do or say to make things better. He's lucky in that he has a supportive mate, but no matter how hard you try, you can't make him feel better about things. Be there for him if he wants to go for a beer. He'll get over it with some time.
Thanks for your advice
I'll just look out for him.
My friend's ex has called me to pass on a message to him, it sounded really important. He doesn't answer her calls and she is too scared to go down there. I said that I would think it over and call her back.
Any thoughts?
Hmm, difficult position she is putting you in. Depending on how important (and genuine) you feel she is being, you should tell him. However, if you think she is just using you to get to him, tell her to F off!!!
OK, thanks
I think she is being genuine. I'll call her tomorrow (I'm too tired right now).