Well according to my 20 week scan i am having a boy i had to ask, not because i really cared about or had a preference apart from a healthy baby, but i am finding it helps to think of him as a little person and talk to him when he kicks and stuff where as before i was struggling to make the pregnancy seem real to me. (I am not very articulate atm so hope that makes sense)
I hope beyond everything else that he is born happy and healthy and if he comes out a she at the time i will not care a less.:D
I was desperate to find out with my first child, and was thrilled to find out we were having a girl, which we both wanted, but the birth was almost an anti climax as we knew what we were having.
When I fell pregnant the second time, we both decided we wanted to make it more special and weren't going to find out, even though we desperately wanted a boy tohave one of each. When I gave birth to a boy I was not only ecstatic that I had what I wanted but thrilled by the excitement of the anticipation adn the arrival. If I ever had any more children I certainly wouldn't ask what sex they were, it was much more magical finding out on the day.
I found out because it's easier you can buy clothes etc the right colour.
How would you feel if the scan had been misread.? Its not an exact science you know. Speaking personally, we bought a few white things then waited till after the birth. Relatives always then pop up to help. As a doting grandparents, my wife and I loved dashing about getting new born size clothes.
Never tempt fate. I am not a doom and gloom person but things can and do go wrong. Probably an old fashioned view. but read my other post for a reality check. and does colour matter?
When I fell pregnant the second time, we both decided we wanted to make it more special and weren't going to find out, even though we desperately wanted a boy tohave one of each. When I gave birth to a boy I was not only ecstatic that I had what I wanted but thrilled by the excitement of the anticipation adn the arrival. If I ever had any more children I certainly wouldn't ask what sex they were, it was much more magical finding out on the day.
That's what we wanted. The look on my husbands face when he seen he had a son is one of the very few memories I have of that day. It will stay with me forever. As will the joy he had in telling me.
I've just been to the hospital for an antenatal appointment. I'm 12 weeks pregnant tomorrow and have my scan booked for Monday. I've already got a 2 year old but was living somewhere else when I had him.
When I was pregnant last time, we found out the sex of the baby. It was something we wanted to know and when they offered to tell us we agreed. We had decided that we want to find out the sex of this baby as well.
When we were at the hospital today there was a notice on the board to say that as of 1st September they will no longer be telling people the sex of their baby.
I know it's stupid but I feel gutted. I have a boy already and if this one is also a boy I wanted to be able to get over not having a girl. I don't mean to sound ungrateful or anything because I'm really not. Perhaps its just the pregnancy hormones in overdrive.
Anyway, nothing I can do about it really. Except wait another 6 months ...
Go privately for one of those 3D scans. I'm sure they'll tell you! Good luck with the birth by the way!
i dont think it's tempting fate, at the end of the day having a baby is a bigdeal and you need to get prepared for it, bad things can and do happen but that should not mean you spend your pregnancy worrying or not planning as that is no good for the baby.
Yes the sex can be misinterpreted and i personally would not have found out just for a colour scheme but it is down to the individual couple to decide and cope, prepare in the best way they can.
I am sorry about your daughter butus pregnant women know all about the risks of miscarriage then followed by stillbirths and find it very hard not to worry and fret if finding out the sex, painting the nursery or going on shopping spree helps so be it cos at the end of the day if you lose it you lose it and it will destroy you no matter what.
How would you feel if the scan had been misread.? Its not an exact science you know. Speaking personally, we bought a few white things then waited till after the birth. Relatives always then pop up to help. As a doting grandparents, my wife and I loved dashing about getting new born size clothes.
Never tempt fate. I am not a doom and gloom person but things can and do go wrong. Probably an old fashioned view. but read my other post for a reality check. and does colour matter?
i dont think it's tempting fate, at the end of the day having a baby is a bigdeal and you need to get prepared for it, bad things can and do happen but that should not mean you spend your pregnancy worrying or not planning as that is no good for the baby.
Yes the sex can be misinterpreted and i personally would not have found out just for a colour scheme but it is down to the individual couple to decide and cope, prepare in the best way they can.
I am sorry about your daughter butus pregnant women know all about the risks of miscarriage then followed by stillbirths and find it very hard not to worry and fret if finding out the sex, painting the nursery or going on shopping spree helps so be it cos at the end of the day if you lose it you lose it and it will destroy you no matter what.
Name me a pregnant woman who doesn't worry. They would not be human, if they didn't.
Nobody knows more than me and my family what a big deal having a baby is. You say that as if it is only you pregnant women(To quote you) is rather insulting whether meant that way or not. It takes 2 and any decent potential father is (Or should be) as aware as his pregnant partner of the pitfalls in pregnancy. believe me fathers do get as worked up as mothers. It is or should be a joint thing.
I beg to differ about the tempting fate bit, but I think that is more a generation thing. I am sixty several.
Also Nursing/childcare has been in our family for generations and I suppose we have seen more of the reality when things go wrong. I am not a scaremonger just a realist.
Because of our general state my wording may be a bit strong, but put that down to raw emotion. No insults meant.
i am not at all saying partners do not have fears etc. but it is different to carrying it i had no idea how much realer it is to me than him and the responsibility i feel carrying it if i do the wrong thing or eat the wrong thing it is just different and from the mothers and fathers i have spoken to it does seem to be, i know when the baby is born my OH will dote on it and love it as much as i do but he does not have the same concerns that i do for 9 months.
No no offence meant my mum almost dies when she was misdiagnosed she was having an ectopic pregnancy and i know the heartache of my friend who has doen round after round of IVF, and when i was having an emergancy scan i saw a girl i went to school with and she had just found out her baby was dead in the womb whilst i was ecstatic that mine was alive. I understand your feelings being raw and the older viewpoint but think you need to copw however you can cos i had no idea how hard it actually was until this baby was inside me.
i am not at all saying partners do not have fears etc. but it is different to carrying it i had no idea how much realer it is to me than him and the responsibility i feel carrying it if i do the wrong thing or eat the wrong thing it is just different and from the mothers and fathers i have spoken to it does seem to be, i know when the baby is born my OH will dote on it and love it as much as i do but he does not have the same concerns that i do for 9 months.
No no offence meant my mum almost dies when she was misdiagnosed she was having an ectopic pregnancy and i know the heartache of my friend who has doen round after round of IVF, and when i was having an emergancy scan i saw a girl i went to school with and she had just found out her baby was dead in the womb whilst i was ecstatic that mine was alive. I understand your feelings being raw and the older viewpoint but think you need to copw however you can cos i had no idea how hard it actually was until this baby was inside me.
Sorry I am not being obtuse(By the way my opinion has nothing to do with our loss) but believe me as a father of 3, I suffered(Not Physically)every, twinge,show,movement, false alarm, in my own way when my wife was carrying. I am sure your OH has the same . He probably just doesn't show it.This may sound Irish, you feel the pains etc, all he has is his imagination, and that can be worse in many ways. He will also feal responsible for you and your baby. Us men can be very intense about it all. It is also not nice seeing your beloved go through it. I Hope he will be with you at the birth I was for 2 of mine. the second one I disgraced myself and fainted.
I then did the same with my daughters(Not fainted). One gave me 2 wonderful grand daughters, the other you know about.
I know what you mean about coping , i wish it was that easy. We try and cope best we can, but its like anything, unless you have experienced it it is impossible to imagine.(That applies to pregnancy as well)
Comments
I hope beyond everything else that he is born happy and healthy and if he comes out a she at the time i will not care a less.:D
When I fell pregnant the second time, we both decided we wanted to make it more special and weren't going to find out, even though we desperately wanted a boy tohave one of each. When I gave birth to a boy I was not only ecstatic that I had what I wanted but thrilled by the excitement of the anticipation adn the arrival. If I ever had any more children I certainly wouldn't ask what sex they were, it was much more magical finding out on the day.
How would you feel if the scan had been misread.? Its not an exact science you know. Speaking personally, we bought a few white things then waited till after the birth. Relatives always then pop up to help. As a doting grandparents, my wife and I loved dashing about getting new born size clothes.
Never tempt fate. I am not a doom and gloom person but things can and do go wrong. Probably an old fashioned view. but read my other post for a reality check. and does colour matter?
That's what we wanted. The look on my husbands face when he seen he had a son is one of the very few memories I have of that day. It will stay with me forever. As will the joy he had in telling me.
Go privately for one of those 3D scans. I'm sure they'll tell you! Good luck with the birth by the way!
Yes the sex can be misinterpreted and i personally would not have found out just for a colour scheme but it is down to the individual couple to decide and cope, prepare in the best way they can.
I am sorry about your daughter butus pregnant women know all about the risks of miscarriage then followed by stillbirths and find it very hard not to worry and fret if finding out the sex, painting the nursery or going on shopping spree helps so be it cos at the end of the day if you lose it you lose it and it will destroy you no matter what.
Name me a pregnant woman who doesn't worry. They would not be human, if they didn't.
Nobody knows more than me and my family what a big deal having a baby is. You say that as if it is only you pregnant women(To quote you) is rather insulting whether meant that way or not. It takes 2 and any decent potential father is (Or should be) as aware as his pregnant partner of the pitfalls in pregnancy. believe me fathers do get as worked up as mothers. It is or should be a joint thing.
I beg to differ about the tempting fate bit, but I think that is more a generation thing. I am sixty several.
Also Nursing/childcare has been in our family for generations and I suppose we have seen more of the reality when things go wrong. I am not a scaremonger just a realist.
Because of our general state my wording may be a bit strong, but put that down to raw emotion. No insults meant.
No no offence meant my mum almost dies when she was misdiagnosed she was having an ectopic pregnancy and i know the heartache of my friend who has doen round after round of IVF, and when i was having an emergancy scan i saw a girl i went to school with and she had just found out her baby was dead in the womb whilst i was ecstatic that mine was alive. I understand your feelings being raw and the older viewpoint but think you need to copw however you can cos i had no idea how hard it actually was until this baby was inside me.
Sorry I am not being obtuse(By the way my opinion has nothing to do with our loss) but believe me as a father of 3, I suffered(Not Physically)every, twinge,show,movement, false alarm, in my own way when my wife was carrying. I am sure your OH has the same . He probably just doesn't show it.This may sound Irish, you feel the pains etc, all he has is his imagination, and that can be worse in many ways. He will also feal responsible for you and your baby. Us men can be very intense about it all. It is also not nice seeing your beloved go through it. I Hope he will be with you at the birth I was for 2 of mine. the second one I disgraced myself and fainted.
I then did the same with my daughters(Not fainted). One gave me 2 wonderful grand daughters, the other you know about.
I know what you mean about coping , i wish it was that easy. We try and cope best we can, but its like anything, unless you have experienced it it is impossible to imagine.(That applies to pregnancy as well)