The Brilliant Corrie One Liners Thread

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  • OldnjadedOldnjaded Posts: 89,126
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    Gloria saying poor Aldi and Asda :D
    They soooooooooooo nicked that off DS. :D:D
  • OldnjadedOldnjaded Posts: 89,126
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    The AA meeting was brilliant.

    "You want to get out more - wait 'till you try bingo - you'll hyperventilate." :D:D

    Ken: Well it didn't make Tracy hit the bottle.

    Blanche: No, but it made her hit her boyfriend with a blunt instrument.

    ^_^

    Ken: Can we not have this in public?

    Deirdre: It's hardly the Rovers Return.

    Blanche: Just as well this lot would be foaming at the mouth. :D
    Blanche : I don't know about you lot but I need a drink.

    :D:D:D:D
  • MarcusjllMarcusjll Posts: 1,161
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    Can't remember the guy's name but:

    man: What's your poison?

    Blanche: Strychnine. Make your's a double.

    Blanche had all the best lines! The show really misses her!
  • 21stCenturyBoy21stCenturyBoy Posts: 44,493
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    The show needs to cast a snarky older woman soon- we've had one ever since Episode 1 and it misses a cantankerous old boot with a poisonous sense of humour.

    I think they tried to push the witticisms with Gloria but it just wasn't believable. Sylvia was funny when they wrote her well, but she never had the gleeful glint in her eye that Blanche did when she was troublemaking.
  • attitude99attitude99 Posts: 14,848
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    When Liz was hanging some of her knickers on Deirdre's clithes rail & Blanche said

    'Do you think Ken wants to stare at thongs all day, the mans sophisticated'
  • Lucy LouLucy Lou Posts: 8,574
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    Such a good thread Vodka_Drinka :D

    another one of Blanches un-pc remarks..............

    "He's a loony and she's a man" :D
  • Leanne_Blake1Leanne_Blake1 Posts: 1,773
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    The AA meeting was brilliant.

    "You want to get out more - wait 'till you try bingo - you'll hyperventilate." :D:D

    Ken: Well it didn't make Tracy hit the bottle.

    Blanche: No, but it made her hit her boyfriend with a blunt instrument.

    ^_^

    Ken: Can we not have this in public?

    Deirdre: It's hardly the Rovers Return.

    Blanche: Just as well this lot would be foaming at the mouth. :D

    Fantastic writing :D:D
  • bass55bass55 Posts: 18,319
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    When Blanche thought Ken was gay:

    "I've got nothing against the gays - I'd walk over hot coals for Paul O' Grady - I just don't want my daughter married to one. I'm old fashioned like that"

    Blanche was comedy gold :D
  • riverside 57riverside 57 Posts: 14,380
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    LOL Blanche without a doubt had all the best lines in her last few years on Corrie. Another one was when Liz was staying with them and asking Ken's opinion on an outfit for a job inter view. Ken asks what the job is and Blanch jumps in with "Prostitute" :D

    One of my favourites of recent times was from Sally Webster after throwing Maddie out and says "Try not to fight with yourself on the way home!" :D
  • attitude99attitude99 Posts: 14,848
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    Tina's last words: I was born gobby!

    Rob: Yeah & you're gonna die gobby an all :D
  • J-BJ-B Posts: 18,597
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    Anything Peter Barlow says in these last two episodes:

    "Are we cool?"
    "None of this is your fault, don't blame yourself"
  • annielouannielou Posts: 10,246
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    The AA meeting was brilliant.

    "You want to get out more - wait 'till you try bingo - you'll hyperventilate." :D:D

    Ken: Well it didn't make Tracy hit the bottle.

    Blanche: No, but it made her hit her boyfriend with a blunt instrument.

    ^_^

    Ken: Can we not have this in public?

    Deirdre: It's hardly the Rovers Return.

    Blanche: Just as well this lot would be foaming at the mouth. :D

    God those were the days.
  • patrick95patrick95 Posts: 416
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    This thread has made me realise my love for Tracy. She's a hoot ! :D
  • priscillapriscilla Posts: 34,370
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    Deirdre: 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.'
    Blanche: 'I think I'll go home then.'
  • riverside 57riverside 57 Posts: 14,380
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    Loads more older ones to read in this old thread of mine :)

    http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1245416&highlight=
  • coolercooler Posts: 13,024
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    I loved the one when Gail was in a prison cell with Tracy

    Gail: "I didn't kill my husband, the recession did"
    Tracy burst out laughing.

    That was quality.
  • BelligerenceBelligerence Posts: 40,613
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    Audrey: "Are you having an affair with Liam?"

    Carla: "No......are you?" :)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,348
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    Tracey to Tina- "You're about as good at this bar maid lark as your dad was at swimming"

    Great thread subject choice, OP.

    That was a good one - did laugh at that.

    Add to that one;

    Rob to Tina : "So this is where you come for your croissants and coffee of a morning?" (about the now infamous, builder's yard balcony).

    A good one - did smile at that, like all of them really.

    Even when the drama is sometimes poor (even though it wasn't on Wednesday) Corrie can still be counted on for their one-liners and occasionally subtle, black comedy.
  • Vodka_DrinkaVodka_Drinka Posts: 28,740
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    The show needs to cast a snarky older woman soon- we've had one ever since Episode 1 and it misses a cantankerous old boot with a poisonous sense of humour.

    I think they tried to push the witticisms with Gloria but it just wasn't believable. Sylvia was funny when they wrote her well, but she never had the gleeful glint in her eye that Blanche did when she was troublemaking.

    A new, older female character would be a great adition. Blanche is much missed.
  • 114114 Posts: 25
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    Not a one liner, but one classic piece of comedy was the argument in which Maddie claimed that Kevin and Sally didn't understand her problems because they led "Cosy middle class lives". Sally was transparently delighted by the fact that she had been described as middle class.
  • bass55bass55 Posts: 18,319
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    Gail: "right, I'd better go and make myself beautiful"
    Stella: "ooh, you've only got an hour!"

    Stella's face when she realised what she'd said was priceless :D
  • Sunny BSunny B Posts: 7,359
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    Richard: "You should have stayed at the party Maxine!"
  • flbkabflbkab Posts: 8,798
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    Blanche on Roy: "He looks like he should be sat in the corner crayoning something."

    Blanche on Roy and Hayley: "He's a loony and she's a man!"
  • patrick95patrick95 Posts: 416
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    * Tracy and Deirdre are discussing Peter's return from rehab *

    Tracy : We get it mum, you care. We all care about Peter.

    Deirdre: What time is he due back?

    Tracy: Oh, I don't know. Carla told me, but I wasn't listening.


    *Sally / Tim / Faye and Sophie are having lunch together *

    Sally : Tim, your incapable of cobbling any food together!

    Faye: Yeah, I saw the instant mash packet in the bin last night.

    Sally (appalled) : No! What if the neighbors had seen it in the rubbish?

    Sophie: I doubt Beth and Kirk are having coq un vin every night!

    Tim: You not being a snob isn't lasting long is it....


    Sally : Don't tell people you've been homeless Tim. The neighbors will judge!
  • Leanne_Blake1Leanne_Blake1 Posts: 1,773
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    I miss Blanche, she was superb.
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