I had a sort of run in at school, I got singled out as I was very tall and was always being praised by teachers for my chess skills. I won a regional chess tournament (nottinghamshire under 15s, bossing it haha) and I think thats what kicked the bullying off. Although as well as being called smart (I never sat well with it), I also had a very nasty temper. I beat the snot out of two lads in my woodwork class and started to threaten the teacher when he tried to break it up, I didnt mean it as such I had just had enough and someone had tried to trip me up and it just sorted of tipped me. He was very under standing once I calmed down and explained why I was so angry.
Anyway, that sort of stopped that. Few months later I made some good friends and I just sort of slotted in with them and everything was fine. Your daughter should seek out those who she shares some common interests with like books or music etc, grouping up tends to help. I hope you and your kid are able to sort it out, its very disheartening for a young lady to be outcast like that, hope its sorted.
The same sort of thing happened to my daughter when she was about that age. Firstly I contacted the school, so thye could keep an eye on her, and also they have an anti-bullying policy that included extra classes with confidence building exercises etc.
I also took her to the GP, because she was showing signs of depression. He was also very good, he kept in touch with me and the school and could refer her to a child psychologist if we wanted. Luckily it wasn't needed.
Thanks for asking Fibromite. She still has a few wobbles with some of the more stronger characters in her class but we have talked them through and she seems OK. She has been made house captain by the teachers which has really helped her confidence in some ways, but also brought some worries with it too. She's not very sporty so feels she can't help her house team, but I asked about the vice-captain and he is sporty so I said to talk to him and ask him to take that side on - good old chat about strengths and weaknesses and how different skills complement each other :-)
She was also invited to a snowboarding party by one of the girls so I had to point out that she must get on with them to be invited! I'm hoping it'll help her change her perception, so rather than automatically assuming the worst that she'll take a step back and consider whether that is actually true or not.
Glad things have improved a lot. There will always be someone who spoils things for others, whether it is at school, work or a neighbour or relation. Unfortunately that is life these days.
Funnily enough I've just said the exact same thing in the car to both my kids on the way home from school. There's a girl in my daughters class who she says has "anger issues" and pinches, hits and kicks if anyone says no to them. And that if you're on the receiving end of this behaviour, if you tell the teacher you're a 'snitch" and get blamed by others because being a snitch is apparently worse that kicking someone. I remember this at school too and some things don't change!
Yes, it's so unfair isn't it. I remember being bullied at school and the teachers took no notice in those days. I can remember them saying things like "I never listen to tales" which gave all the bullies free reign to do just as they liked and carry on bullying. At least teachers do take it seriously now.
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Anyway, that sort of stopped that. Few months later I made some good friends and I just sort of slotted in with them and everything was fine. Your daughter should seek out those who she shares some common interests with like books or music etc, grouping up tends to help. I hope you and your kid are able to sort it out, its very disheartening for a young lady to be outcast like that, hope its sorted.
I also took her to the GP, because she was showing signs of depression. He was also very good, he kept in touch with me and the school and could refer her to a child psychologist if we wanted. Luckily it wasn't needed.
She was also invited to a snowboarding party by one of the girls so I had to point out that she must get on with them to be invited! I'm hoping it'll help her change her perception, so rather than automatically assuming the worst that she'll take a step back and consider whether that is actually true or not.