Who does the housework? And are you happy with that?
frisky python
Posts: 9,737 Forum Member
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When Mr Python and I decided to have kids, we agreed that I would be the stay at home parent. Mr Python's earning capacity was greater than mine so financially it made sense and we wanted one of us to raise them rather than childminders etc. As I was at home it was also agreed that I would do the majority of the housework.
Fast forward to 10yrs hence and I'm still the one doing the vast majority of the housework. I'm trying to run my own little business from home, but Mr Python still expects all washing, cooking, ironing and cleaning to be done by me. He walks the dog and puts the rubbish out. He occasionally runs the kids baths. He does do some DIY but then I do some decorating etc too. Mr Python's job has grown and he's been promoted etc so there is a lot more responsibility and stress on his shoulders too.
Now, I'm not happy with the status quo. I feel it should be a bit more equal share (ironing his own shirt for work for one) but he's reminding me he's the breadwinner and the agreement we made 10 yrs ago.....
So, is housework still seen as "womens work"? Or is it more equal in your house? Does who works/stays at home raising kids have any bearing on the share of housework?
Fast forward to 10yrs hence and I'm still the one doing the vast majority of the housework. I'm trying to run my own little business from home, but Mr Python still expects all washing, cooking, ironing and cleaning to be done by me. He walks the dog and puts the rubbish out. He occasionally runs the kids baths. He does do some DIY but then I do some decorating etc too. Mr Python's job has grown and he's been promoted etc so there is a lot more responsibility and stress on his shoulders too.
Now, I'm not happy with the status quo. I feel it should be a bit more equal share (ironing his own shirt for work for one) but he's reminding me he's the breadwinner and the agreement we made 10 yrs ago.....
So, is housework still seen as "womens work"? Or is it more equal in your house? Does who works/stays at home raising kids have any bearing on the share of housework?
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Comments
Is this a trick answer? Do you live on your own?
We both work full time in our house even though one of us earns about 60% more than the other it's still sharesies on the housework.
No I live with my Mum and Brothers but they are disabled
Not the point, IMO, if you are busy doing it and consider it a business and expect to turn a profit, he could at least support you by helping a little. Even if it's just washing the pots, drying them and putting them away each might. It's not much to ask is it?
Ok, well I guess that would explain your answer then.
Agreements can be changed you know!
My first OH, the one who I had our kids with let me do everything, he was very old school and yes it was women's work to do it ALL in his opinion including the garden.
To be honest I was better at doing a lot of stuff so that sort of suited me at one stage.
I then was working part time, running around after 3 kids like a blue arsed fly and doing all that comes with running a busy family home.
He went to work and was out for the house for 10 hours a day with travel, but when home did nothing at all ever.
My days were way longer than that.
We live in a different world now and to be honest I look at some younger people I know in their 20s/30s and see that the equal share thing now seems to happen.
Sometime we make our own beds so end up having to lie in them
I would ask for help now and do.
My new OH does bits and bobs around the house and tends to the garden as well.
I always go over stuff he does as I am fussy but at least he tries.
All of them are disabled in the same house?
So you didn't mind doing the housework when you had to rely on your partner's income? Now you have a bit of your own money coming in suddenly you want the agreement you made to change.
I can see why your husband would feel a bit used to be honest.
Yes..
Those fairies are called Domestic Cleaners and the minimum charge is £15 an hour for a minimum of two hours in my area.
£15 an hour? Nice work if you can get it.
I need a skip more than a cleaning fairy
We're just in the middle of one of those MASSIVE clean ups which also involves moving into the smaller bedroom.
I can't see an end to it at the mo as all the rooms are in chaos.
My fault for relying on OH to do everything, including the shopping, in between him working.
Once it's sorted I am gonna keep it clean though.
I am too fussy to employ a cleaner and do not need to anyway as I have time to do it now.
Some of my younger acquaintances who work a lot do have cleaners and gardeners though.
It is hard to get a good one so they pay top wack to get one who is reliable and trustworthy.
One lady I know was on a waiting list of a cleaning lady.
Fancy a cleaning job Jason?