My dad didn't even visit us this Christmas
ChibiCandi
Posts: 966 Forum Member
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He's seperated from my mum and this year is the first year he hasn't even bothered to come and visit. I got him a present and everything and .. nothing. I feel so dissapointed and my mum is upset espicially since I have a 10 year old brother. Was anyone else let down by family this year? 
Also, he lives 10 minutes away.
Also, he lives 10 minutes away.
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Because he lives with his girlfriend who we don't get along with.
I simply rolled my eyes, reminded myself that he is a class A prick, and moved on. You should do the same.
That would be so easy if it wasn't for my brother, honestly, if my brother didn't exist I doubt I would've seen him at all these past 10 years.
Your brother doesn't need him, either. He doesn't automatically need contact with his father just because society says so, especially if he'd be better off without him.
In cases like these, everyone tends to feel sorry for the youngest person, without questioning whether the youngest actually cares. My family are furious for what my dad has "done to me", but I haven't needed him for a single second in my life.
Except for a lift to Oxford when I was 17
Thank you for taking the time to say that
Needs some toughening up how? Is he upset by your dad's absence? actually upset, and has said so/implied so? Is he sensitive in general? Or is it his behaviour you mean/
Hes had trouble with some kids at school and can be a bit sensitive.
If he is sensitive, then its in his nature and no amount of you trying to 'toughen' him up will change the way he is. (I have a daughter like this).However, he will soon toughen up where his father is concerned on his own accord.
I know things can always get worse but that can be said only so many times.
Sorry for what you're going through, it maybe that he's just selfish or the situation with your mum keeps him away.
Don't give up though, i've not gone through the situation of parents splitting up but I have gone through a lot of messed up experiences over the past that have almost pushed me over the edge but things can turn around for the better eventually. I hope they work out for you and your family.
Thank you. I hope so too
I was wondering the same thing. If there is bad blood between your mum and his his g/f for example it could make things really awkward for him.
Did he visit/planning on visiting any other time during the holiday ?
She will never get on with her and that hasnt stopped him from seeing us and helping out with my mother is working. I dont know why if he couldn't come Christmas day he could've come on any of the days after. We've never expected him to stay for a day, maybe a couple of hours, is that so much to ask?
Also we havent even heard from him planning on coming over at all. He's supposed to come round tomorow to take my brother for the weekend but I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't show up.
Keep in mind he may be under pressure from his new GF not to visit. I know that is no excuse but it's a possibility.
I would tell him. If he visits tomorrow just say you were sad not to see him on Christmas Day. Can't do any harm to just let him know that. Doesn't have to turn into a row or a bust up. Just let him know.
Ultimately if he chooses not to see his children then it's him who is going to lose the most.
I feel for you and your brother, but if this has been the first year he hasn't come round perhaps there's an explanation for it. You say he sees you and he helps out when your mum is working, so it doesn't sound like this is a normal thing for him to do.
Has something happened that might cause him to think he wouldn't be welcome? Or perhaps he's ill or something as simple as that?
If he doesn't turn up tomorrow why not phone him up and ask him why he hasn't been round. I would ask him even if he does come for your brother. At the moment you have no idea why he didn't come - perhaps after all this time he got fed up always coming to you and having his children never visiting him and continuing to have big problems with his girlfriend.
The thing is you have no idea and the only way to find out is to ask.
Yeah, I'd love to see someone criticize him, he'd just either go into a rage or just say nothing and leave and not come back. He's always had this attitude and I've hated myself and my mum for standing for it but there's no other way.:mad:
He was ill but said he felt better the last time I saw him (22nd). He didn't even ring up to say he liked his presents that I bought for him. I had to ask my brother whether he liked them and that really hurt as I spent a while looking for what he might like (you know how hard men can be to buy for). I'm guessing his girlfriend was giving him grief but it hasnt stopped him before. Either way I'm really dissapointed and I won't be buying a present next year, just a card.
I misunderstood you and thought you hadn't had chance to give him his presents. Did you give them to him on the 22nd then? Presumably he said thank you - I got the impression from your first post that he hadn't come round to collect them. How come your brother saw him after that, did he go round to your dad's place?
In which case it sounds like you are better off without him visiting. You brother feels hurt right now but in the long run it is for the best if this is how your dad is going to treat you.