Assuming we're talking about a legally sexually-active teen - then I'd rather he/she was doing it at home - or the partner's home - than in the bushes at the park, or on some disused land somewhere.
It is very uncomfortable especially when you can hear them at it. The alternative was not to have them not come home at night time and I know I prefered my daughters to be safe at home.
I was suprised at how neither of our daughters were embarrassed at all at making a lot of noise knowing that we, mum and dad were also in the house trying to sleep in the nextdoor bedroom.
We allowed boyfriends to stay over after the age of 17.
My son is 16 and a half(his girlfriend is same age). They've been dating for just over 2 years now. I'd say the last 7 months or so,they've been sleeping at eachother's houses. Previously my son would ask for his gf to sleep over and I always said no,but it gradually appeared that her mum was ok with son sleeping over so I gave in. He used to sleep on the sofa and gradually i'd wake up and find that they were sharing his bed. I guess i'm relaxed about things now. Its a serious relationship and if they're going to do anything,they would find ways to do so,even if you lay down the rules at home. You just have to pray they are keeping safe.
Both my sons had their girlfriends sleep over from the age of 16 . The eldest has had two relationships both lasting over 4 years, and the youngest has been with his current girlfriend for 3 years ( they've both left home now though)
I think that allowing them to start their sex lives/relationships in safety , comfort and a non judgemental environment was the right thing to do. They have a balanced attitude to sex and love and have respect for the women in their lives.
Well I suppose if you don't want to hear them shagging, you disallow it. Seems a bit hypocritical though given that they've had to put up with listening to you and yours do it for the best part of 15 years or so.
Hell no. Do you think I'm a monster? Sex with children over infancy next door is quiet. It is bad enough for children to realize that it has happened in the past. For their peace of mind, I think they should be allowed to believe that whatever mum and dad get up to at their advanced age, it can't be very exciting.
Is 15 not legally underage for sex. Having sex too young is implicated in cervical cancer along with Hpv.How many young single Mums are there on welfare about also, their youth gone raising kids instead of getting an education. and a future.The younger a couple is, the more irresponsible they will be; as they are immature. and not yet adults.
IMo sex is for adults in a serious relationship, not young teenagers, that are still kids emotionally.
I hope I have instilled morals into my 14 year old, if she was having sex at 15, I would be very disappointed in myself for failing her.Its too young and too much to handle emotionally for young girls.JMO
If they were over 18 at least and in a serious relationship, I would have no problems with them sleeping together in my house.I would not tolerate a parade of men or promiscuity under my roof.I would hope my sons and daughters have enough self respect , respect for me and respect for the opposite gender. to behave with dignity and decorum.
Better IMo to instill morals and common sense. in the first place rather than placating them with a convenient bed and your blessing for teenage sex.Teenagers need boundaries and limits and still need parental guidance.
Kids develop and mature at different ages though. Some, as you say, don't have the emotional maturity at 15 to handle sexual relationships but that's not always the case.
IMO, it's better to judge it on each individual situation rather than clinging too rigidly to an outright "No" that forces them to do it behind your back and in more dangerous circumstances. Unfortunately, if a kid's willing to ignore your advice to not have sex until they're at least 16 they're more likely to also ignore your advice about morals and sexual health and put themselves at higher risk of the exact issues you want to avoid.
I'm so glad I don't have to worry about all this for a while yet!;)
Was reading an article whilst at work today about different opinions regarding parents letting their children share a bed with their partners under their roof.
Was wondering what everyone's thoughts were.
What age or circumstances are acceptable?
My sister and brother are 8 and 10 years younger than me (respectively) so even though I had the same BF between ages of 15-18, he was never allowed to stay overnight. We were left to our own devices when he came round etc but to be honest it never even occured ot me to ask that he be allowed to stay the night?
I was 16 when I had my first boyfriend and my parents where fine with him staying over and me staying at his. My brother is now 17 and in the army and his girlfriend who is 15 stay at each others parent house when he is back.
I will be the same when my sons are older, I figure at least they are safe and warm not shagging in a park, behind a bush etc.
I sincerely hope that you're not serious about your brother? Is there still such a thing as statutory rape because, if there is, he's breaking the law. Both sets of parents are totally irresponsible in my humble opinion.
I sincerely hope that you're not serious about your brother? Is there still such a thing as statutory rape because, if there is, he's breaking the law. Both sets of parents are totally irresponsible in my humble opinion.
It would be unlawful sexual intercourse, not rape at that age. I think the police would only act if there was a complainant though, as the partners are close together in age.
Sorry if the original post was confusing, have ben at work so have only just seen responses.
You're right, I did mean parents allowing teenagers or young adults to bring their partners over to the house and share a bed. A lot of responses were saying no, which isn't the way I see things, so was curious as to other opinions.
Obviously it is a personal choice, and I agree that age isn't the best way to judge it, different people mature at different rates. My parents used to be quite strict and wouldn't even let me shut a door with a boy in my room, but they suddenly changed and let them stay over.
Bizarre.
I can say hand on heart though, the thought of 'doing it' with my parents even in the same house is the biggest passion killer of all. I don't want to hear them and I definitely don't want them to hear me!
My brother and I have both brought partners back to my parents house but I did notice he was allowed to do it at a younger age than me. Not that that mattered really because we both ended up marrying the partners we brought home. BTW my brother was 18 when he brought his now wife home to stay overnight and I wasn't allowed untill in my 20's.
My bf was allowed to stay when I was 17, he'd just turned 20. We'd only been together for about 2 weeks but we wanted to watch eurovision and he lives over the water so it would have been impossible for him to get back.
We have done it with my fam in, but we always try and keep as quiet as possible. Parents know it happens after the pregnancy scare!
I can say hand on heart though, the thought of 'doing it' with my parents even in the same house is the biggest passion killer of all. I don't want to hear them and I definitely don't want them to hear me!
:D:D
I'm sorry for laughing - but you do have a way of wording things that make me go :eek:
When I read the title I thought you meant 'Letting partners sleep with children'.. and your OP didn't help by saying "regarding parents letting their children share a bed with their partners" - I still read it as people letting their partners share a bed with their children.
And then the above about doing it with your parents.. :eek:
I get what you mean now - but when I first read this thread a 1am I was totally confused!!
Comments
I was suprised at how neither of our daughters were embarrassed at all at making a lot of noise knowing that we, mum and dad were also in the house trying to sleep in the nextdoor bedroom.
We allowed boyfriends to stay over after the age of 17.
I think that allowing them to start their sex lives/relationships in safety , comfort and a non judgemental environment was the right thing to do. They have a balanced attitude to sex and love and have respect for the women in their lives.
Hell no. Do you think I'm a monster? Sex with children over infancy next door is quiet. It is bad enough for children to realize that it has happened in the past. For their peace of mind, I think they should be allowed to believe that whatever mum and dad get up to at their advanced age, it can't be very exciting.
Kids develop and mature at different ages though. Some, as you say, don't have the emotional maturity at 15 to handle sexual relationships but that's not always the case.
IMO, it's better to judge it on each individual situation rather than clinging too rigidly to an outright "No" that forces them to do it behind your back and in more dangerous circumstances. Unfortunately, if a kid's willing to ignore your advice to not have sex until they're at least 16 they're more likely to also ignore your advice about morals and sexual health and put themselves at higher risk of the exact issues you want to avoid.
I'm so glad I don't have to worry about all this for a while yet!;)
My sister and brother are 8 and 10 years younger than me (respectively) so even though I had the same BF between ages of 15-18, he was never allowed to stay overnight. We were left to our own devices when he came round etc but to be honest it never even occured ot me to ask that he be allowed to stay the night?
I sincerely hope that you're not serious about your brother? Is there still such a thing as statutory rape because, if there is, he's breaking the law. Both sets of parents are totally irresponsible in my humble opinion.
It would be unlawful sexual intercourse, not rape at that age. I think the police would only act if there was a complainant though, as the partners are close together in age.
You're right, I did mean parents allowing teenagers or young adults to bring their partners over to the house and share a bed. A lot of responses were saying no, which isn't the way I see things, so was curious as to other opinions.
Obviously it is a personal choice, and I agree that age isn't the best way to judge it, different people mature at different rates. My parents used to be quite strict and wouldn't even let me shut a door with a boy in my room, but they suddenly changed and let them stay over.
Bizarre.
I can say hand on heart though, the thought of 'doing it' with my parents even in the same house is the biggest passion killer of all. I don't want to hear them and I definitely don't want them to hear me!
We have done it with my fam in, but we always try and keep as quiet as possible. Parents know it happens after the pregnancy scare!
I'm sorry for laughing - but you do have a way of wording things that make me go :eek:
When I read the title I thought you meant 'Letting partners sleep with children'.. and your OP didn't help by saying "regarding parents letting their children share a bed with their partners" - I still read it as people letting their partners share a bed with their children.
And then the above about doing it with your parents.. :eek:
I get what you mean now - but when I first read this thread a 1am I was totally confused!!