Skinny dipped in Cyprus with two guys (my friend was there too and we only stripped down to our undies!!)
Reason it was the worst thing is that I am not a strong swimmer - had I been sober I'd never have swam out so far.
Ended up convinced I was going to drown but somehow managed to get back to shore as all the little old Cypriot ladies were going for thier 6am swim! The shame of having to dress under their watchful glare and then wait for my friend to reappear with 2 blokes :eek: :eek:
Same friend and I went to Kos together some years later, she took a shine to some guy and I left them together in a club one night. Next morning friend hadn't come home? Her mobile was off? Unsure what to do I headed for the pool (yep - I am all about 'safety' ). Friend eventually appeared late afternoon still dressed from night before with mud up to the knees of her white linen trousers and minus her shoes / bag / mobile etc.. She'd taken a short cut back with fella the night before, they'd got caught in some mud at some point and fallen asleep at the back of the hotel - low and behold all of her belongings were in the bushes behind the hotel where she'd slept! :eek: :eek:
I have vague hideous memories of being at a work party and sitting on the lap of my (very creepy, slimy middle aged) boss and simulating a sexual move.
Firstly, would like to appologise to Spain as most of it has happened there: I was absolutely paraletic during the below:
1. Went down the beach, ended up climbing vertical rocks like a cliff edge to get off the beach. How I didnt slip and die is beyond me.
2. Had to climb over a 12ft fence to get to where i was going because I couldn't be bothered to walk around. As above.
3. Me and a friend tried to break into a girls apartment because she was on her terrace crying.. We probably made her cry in the first place! But we thought we were helping! Police had to come and tell us off.
4. Cash machine stole mine and a friends card, so we proceeded to "try" and kick the crap out of it. (failed miserablly.. we moved on before the police came apparantly)
5. Walked down a motorway to get home in the dark.
6. Lost my friends, and ended up waking up in Aqualand. (Dont ask how i got in there I have no idea)
7. Stayed at the in-laws after a heavy new years night out and pissed the bed
Rode my bike into school. And then through the main doors and down the corridor. Altough not the worst thing I've done when drunk it does sort of mark the beggining of a fairly long career of drunken stupidity.
Rode my bike into school. And then through the main doors and down the corridor. Altough not the worst thing I've done when drunk it does sort of mark the beggining of a fairly long career of drunken stupidity.
Had sex with my English teacher in a pub loo.Woke up next to a guy my best mate had been after for 6 months. Neither of us knew what happened the night before, but my friend didn't speak to me for 2 weeks.
Had a drunken snog with a famous cricketer ..... the sort that you would have avoided like the plague if you had been sober.
This was in my heyday before I got entangled with Mr Button
Is it terribly bad that i didn't need to be drunk in order to do that (granted he wasn't my English teacher)?
There's been a few over the years, but here's some highlights:
Urinating in a Bus Lane and getting caught by 2 WPCs
Running from police in the centre of the City in London (basically the most CCTV'd area in the world) then inevitably getting stopped by 2 WPCs and on turning out my pockets revealing a stash of prostitute cards recently collected from the phone boxes in Kings Cross.
Punching my brother in the face because he was trying to stop me going into a party that had already been finished for about an hour .
Puking over the back of someone in a pub while they were wearing what looked like a brand new England shirt (it was the first game of the world cup that year). I don't know how i didn't get a kicking that day.
Puking on my own back at my sister's house.
Losing a fight with a bag of rubbish in Soho and ending up flat on my back in the gutter, unable to get back up with the bag wrapped round my feet.
Puking all over the table in a fairly posh mexican restaurant.
Dancing on the table in a pub singing Bohemian Rhapsody (badly) then trashing Burger King (a xmas tree was involved in this somehow) before getting home and puking from outside of the house, through net curtains down the back of my TV, then finally falling asleep on the toilet wih all the doors open in the house. Still made it to work the next day though, even if I did immeadiately book a half day.
Going home with a randomner id just meet ,the taxi going miles and miles .Doing the business and then suddenly sobering up / realising he was total werido , running away from the house! 10 mins later finding myself standing in a field in the middle of nowhere in the pouring rain ,wearing nothing but a vest ,tutu and leg warmers! After what felt like eternity ,I eventually managed to flag down a lorry ,which eventually dumped me back in the centre of bristol ,where my flatmate was waiting for me ( a sobbing wreck ) with warm clothes!
Falling over someone garden wall into there bushes
Falling over and smashing my face up
Generally slagginess
Going to visit a friend from uni at home for the first time ,and throwing up all over her parents immuculate spare room!
There's been a few over the years, but here's some highlights:
Urinating in a Bus Lane and getting caught by 2 WPCs
Running from police in the centre of the City in London (basically the most CCTV'd area in the world) then inevitably getting stopped by 2 WPCs and on turning out my pockets revealing a stash of prostitute cards recently collected from the phone boxes in Kings Cross.
Punching my brother in the face because he was trying to stop me going into a party that had already been finished for about an hour .
Puking over the back of someone in a pub while they were wearing what looked like a brand new England shirt (it was the first game of the world cup that year). I don't know how i didn't get a kicking that day.
Puking on my own back at my sister's house.
Losing a fight with a bag of rubbish in Soho and ending up flat on my back in the gutter, unable to get back up with the bag wrapped round my feet.
Puking all over the table in a fairly posh mexican restaurant.
Dancing on the table in a pub singing Bohemian Rhapsody (badly) then trashing Burger King (a xmas tree was involved in this somehow) before getting home and puking from outside of the house, through net curtains down the back of my TV, then finally falling asleep on the toilet wih all the doors open in the house. Still made it to work the next day though, even if I did immeadiately book a half day.
these bits in bold really made me laugh. drunken logic eh.
Going home with a randomner id just meet ,the taxi going miles and miles .Doing the business and then suddenly sobering up / realising he was total werido , running away from the house! 10 mins later finding myself standing in a field in the middle of nowhere in the pouring rain ,wearing nothing but a vest ,tutu and leg warmers! After what felt like eternity ,I eventually managed to flag down a lorry ,which eventually dumped me back in the centre of bristol ,where my flatmate was waiting for me ( a sobbing wreck ) with warm clothes!
Falling over someone garden wall into there bushes
Falling over and smashing my face up
Generally slagginess
Going to visit a friend from uni at home for the first time ,and throwing up all over her parents immuculate spare room!
Yeah im a classy bird!
Now that is kinky! Were you wearing this before, during or after you done the 'business'?
I was working in London one weekend around The Bank area and after a hard day I went out for a few drinks with some colleagues. At about 11pm I went back to my hotel room, slightly tipsy but by no means off my trolley, and went to sleep. The next thing I knew I was in a smelly lift in just my pants and was basically bricking it as I had no idea how I had got there!! The lift turned out to be the hotel service lift that is only accessible from the rear of the hotel - I managed to get out and the problem now was trying to get myself back into the hotel in just my underpants without being seen. I made my way to the front of the hotel but unluckily I was spotted by several passers by and a couple of coppers in a police van. I'm glad they could see the funny side as they led me back into the hotel to the reception area where I was led back to my room (still in my underpants)!! It turned out that I had tried to sleepwalk to the toilet in my room but instead of going through the toilet door I went out of my room (the door locking behind me) and walked out of the Fire Exit, down 2 flights of stairs and into the Service Lift where I finally woke up.
I was working in London one weekend around The Bank area and after a hard day I went out for a few drinks with some colleagues. At about 11pm I went back to my hotel room, slightly tipsy but by no means off my trolley, and went to sleep. The next thing I knew I was in a smelly lift in just my pants and was basically bricking it as I had no idea how I had got there!! The lift turned out to be the hotel service lift that is only accessible from the rear of the hotel - I managed to get out and the problem now was trying to get myself back into the hotel in just my underpants without being seen. I made my way to the front of the hotel but unluckily I was spotted by several passers by and a couple of coppers in a police van. I'm glad they could see the funny side as they led me back into the hotel to the reception area where I was led back to my room (still in my underpants)!! It turned out that I had tried to sleepwalk to the toilet in my room but instead of going through the toilet door I went out of my room (the door locking behind me) and walked out of the Fire Exit, down 2 flights of stairs and into the Service Lift where I finally woke up.
Comments
Reason it was the worst thing is that I am not a strong swimmer - had I been sober I'd never have swam out so far.
Ended up convinced I was going to drown but somehow managed to get back to shore as all the little old Cypriot ladies were going for thier 6am swim! The shame of having to dress under their watchful glare and then wait for my friend to reappear with 2 blokes :eek: :eek:
Same friend and I went to Kos together some years later, she took a shine to some guy and I left them together in a club one night. Next morning friend hadn't come home? Her mobile was off? Unsure what to do I headed for the pool (yep - I am all about 'safety'
In front of my colleagues.
Surely it's not skinny dipping if you kept your undies on??
Indeed - see I am not that 'wild' :eek:
1. Went down the beach, ended up climbing vertical rocks like a cliff edge to get off the beach. How I didnt slip and die is beyond me.
2. Had to climb over a 12ft fence to get to where i was going because I couldn't be bothered to walk around. As above.
3. Me and a friend tried to break into a girls apartment because she was on her terrace crying.. We probably made her cry in the first place! But we thought we were helping! Police had to come and tell us off.
4. Cash machine stole mine and a friends card, so we proceeded to "try" and kick the crap out of it. (failed miserablly.. we moved on before the police came apparantly)
5. Walked down a motorway to get home in the dark.
6. Lost my friends, and ended up waking up in Aqualand. (Dont ask how i got in there I have no idea)
7. Stayed at the in-laws after a heavy new years night out and pissed the bed
aaaand theres more!
Or that drunk...
Yeah that is an absolutely great start!
Is it terribly bad that i didn't need to be drunk in order to do that (granted he wasn't my English teacher)?
Was it Geoffrey Boycott?
Urinating in a Bus Lane and getting caught by 2 WPCs
Running from police in the centre of the City in London (basically the most CCTV'd area in the world) then inevitably getting stopped by 2 WPCs and on turning out my pockets revealing a stash of prostitute cards recently collected from the phone boxes in Kings Cross.
Punching my brother in the face because he was trying to stop me going into a party that had already been finished for about an hour .
Puking over the back of someone in a pub while they were wearing what looked like a brand new England shirt (it was the first game of the world cup that year). I don't know how i didn't get a kicking that day.
Puking on my own back at my sister's house.
Losing a fight with a bag of rubbish in Soho and ending up flat on my back in the gutter, unable to get back up with the bag wrapped round my feet.
Puking all over the table in a fairly posh mexican restaurant.
Dancing on the table in a pub singing Bohemian Rhapsody (badly) then trashing Burger King (a xmas tree was involved in this somehow) before getting home and puking from outside of the house, through net curtains down the back of my TV, then finally falling asleep on the toilet wih all the doors open in the house. Still made it to work the next day though, even if I did immeadiately book a half day.
And shaved off my right eyebrow.
I was shouting and screaming while walking down the streets, yes people were watching and laughing at me. How embarrassing!!
I went to doctors while drunk once. That was stupid thing to do as I was getting checked out for my health. Never drink before you go to doctors!
I think I almost fell over in front of tons of people, I can't remember.
Singing 500 Miles by the Proclaimers at the top of my voice while on my college pub crawl through a busy city street
Falling over someone garden wall into there bushes
Falling over and smashing my face up
Generally slagginess
Going to visit a friend from uni at home for the first time ,and throwing up all over her parents immuculate spare room!
Yeah im a classy bird!
these bits in bold really made me laugh. drunken logic eh.
Now that is kinky! Were you wearing this before, during or after you done the 'business'?
I would be proud if it had been Geoffrey !
No, it was back in the 80s and he had a reputation of being a bit fast and loose. Not one of my finest moments.
Snogging any cricketer is surely the kiss of death.
hahaha
did u pee in the lift then?
I cannot confirm or deny that
You mean did he think he was in a tower block?