I will admit to, once or twice in my life, if a total stranger has told me to 'smile' or 'cheer up' - telling them my parents have just died, or something. Just to see the embarrassment on their faces.
Am I a bad person?
Yes, but good-bad!
Like your style!
FWIW...Worth remembering that some people are only truly happy when they're as miserable as sin!
Holy crap. That person has no business being involved with the Samaritans...if that's the sort of people who work there now I don't know if I'll want to ring them.
Thankfully, the one time I did need to call them I got someone who was absolutely brilliant.
my friend did also find a brilliant samaritan to talk to, who became a personal friend. But she and I, and other friends (and I hate to say this!), have had numerous devastating experiences with unsympathetic and apparently uncaring, and even hostile people on helplines. Which is one of the reasons I always try to be emotionally supportive if anyone mentions struggling with unhappiness to me; perhaps I'm the only person in their life, to seem to care and to be kind. I know from personal experience that just a few sympathetic or non-harsh, caring words can mean so much and be such an emotionally strengthening boost. I'm glad you had a good experience Lily Rose.
But you do get the right sour chops dont you. I dont like them, they drag you down
Yeah, it goes too far the other way too. I know someone who is so relentlessly NEGATIVE I would cross the street to avoid talking to them because I couldn't face being dragged down. Especially if I'm already having a bit of an off day.
my friend did also find a brilliant samaritan to talk to, who became a personal friend. But she and I, and other friends (and I hate to say this!), have had numerous devastating experiences with unsympathetic and apparently uncaring, and even hostile people on helplines. Which is one of the reasons I always try to be emotionally supportive if anyone mentions struggling with unhappiness to me; perhaps I'm the only person in their life, to seem to care and to be kind. I know from personal experience that just a few sympathetic or non-harsh, caring words can mean so much and be such an emotionally strengthening boost. I'm glad you had a good experience Lily Rose.
I had such a horrible experience with one person on a "helpline" I was put off the very concept of them for years. I was very young at the time and the bloke was a truly horrid little snit who had no business working there because he was so unprofessional in the way he tried to handle me.
I can't believe some of these people manage to get hired.
I also dislike overly-saccharine people and used to suspect they were false and ungenuine.
But we all have the ability to influence our own mood with conscious effort, and if our positivity is then 'reflected' off others it becomes progressively less of an effort, and progressively more real.
A couple of years ago I had barely any friends here in London; then I met a cool group of people and instantly 'decided' to make a huge effort to be as nice, friendly and positive as possible towards them - even though, this was not necessarily how I felt at the time.
Because these are good people they responded in kind, which confirmed my attitude and behaviour towards them: "wow, this really works". Over the years since I have been fortunate to make them all very close friends, and in the process make myself a genuinely more happy, friendly and positive person.
I've probably never been happier, infact, and I suppose the rambling point I'm making is that it started with a CONSCIOUS effort to GIVE to other people in the first place; but now its part of me, its second nature.
You DO only get back what you give out, its true, but it soon becomes a kind of self-perpetuating "positive feedback loop" until everybody involved - not just you - is actually a happier and more stable person.
Anyway, sorry for the long post... I know this all sounds like self-help nonsense but this is nevertheless my philosophy.
I also dislike overly-saccharine people and used to suspect they were false and ungenuine.
But we all have the ability to influence our own mood with conscious effort, and if our positivity is then 'reflected' off others it becomes progressively less of an effort, and progressively more real.
A couple of years ago I had barely any friends here in London; then I met a cool group of people and instantly 'decided' to make a huge effort to be as nice, friendly and positive as possible towards them - even though, this was not necessarily how I felt at the time.
Because these are good people they responded in kind, which confirmed my attitude and behaviour towards them: "wow, this really works". Over the years since I have been fortunate to make them all very close friends, and in the process make myself a genuinely more happy, friendly and positive person.
I've probably never been happier, infact, and I suppose the rambling point I'm making is that it started with a CONSCIOUS effort to GIVE to other people in the first place; but now its part of me, its second nature.
You DO only get back what you give out, its true, but it soon becomes a kind of self-perpetuating "positive feedback loop" until everybody involved - not just you - is actually a happier and more stable person.
Anyway, sorry for the long post... I know this all sounds like self-help nonsense but this is nevertheless my philosophy.
the thing is, in my experience, not only cheerful and sunny people are good people - if you mean not liking to see others feel pain. Two points; 1) not everyone can help feeling unhappy 2) a lot of people, (I should know cos I used to work as an alternative therapies practitioner, and, while being completely honest, I was very popular as a confidante!) - really find tremendously powerful comfort in sympathetic and empathetic words, including me, and even find great joy in them. Which is not to say anyone should be obliged to sympathise with anyone else, but I don't agree that our (people who like sympathy), feelings and theraeupeutic needs/habits are wrong. No, I don't think it's wrong to want to be cheerful either, and if anyone wants to be cheered up, I totally go along with that - but I believe in each to their own. Why are we bad people and why do people think it's okay for others to have a go at us because we don't look happy and aren't particularly into only having happy moods and cheery thoughts all the time?
I remember when I was feeling down and I called my best friend and he was like "Do you want to make a baby?"
I think he was trying to get me to cheer up but it was odd. It reminded me of "That 70's show" when Donna was feeling crappy and Eric goes "Cheer up....Let's have Super Hot Sex Baby".
To this day he'll still ask me if I want to have his baby.
I also hate those who say 'Look on the bright side, there are others worse off than you'.
Saying that others are worse off may well be true, but (to me) it is the singular most irrelevant, unhelpful and dismissive thing to say to anybody - ever.
Really? I often find that reminding myself how fortunate I really am, as opposed to how fortunate I feel in the moment, does help.
Comments
lol yup
Like your style!
FWIW...Worth remembering that some people are only truly happy when they're as miserable as sin!
my friend did also find a brilliant samaritan to talk to, who became a personal friend. But she and I, and other friends (and I hate to say this!), have had numerous devastating experiences with unsympathetic and apparently uncaring, and even hostile people on helplines. Which is one of the reasons I always try to be emotionally supportive if anyone mentions struggling with unhappiness to me; perhaps I'm the only person in their life, to seem to care and to be kind. I know from personal experience that just a few sympathetic or non-harsh, caring words can mean so much and be such an emotionally strengthening boost. I'm glad you had a good experience Lily Rose.
Yeah, it goes too far the other way too. I know someone who is so relentlessly NEGATIVE I would cross the street to avoid talking to them because I couldn't face being dragged down. Especially if I'm already having a bit of an off day.
I had such a horrible experience with one person on a "helpline" I was put off the very concept of them for years. I was very young at the time and the bloke was a truly horrid little snit who had no business working there because he was so unprofessional in the way he tried to handle me.
I can't believe some of these people manage to get hired.
Perverted foreplay is off topic!
The irritating thing is when people have said that to me, I haven't even been miserable at the time. I just have one of those faces!:D
But we all have the ability to influence our own mood with conscious effort, and if our positivity is then 'reflected' off others it becomes progressively less of an effort, and progressively more real.
A couple of years ago I had barely any friends here in London; then I met a cool group of people and instantly 'decided' to make a huge effort to be as nice, friendly and positive as possible towards them - even though, this was not necessarily how I felt at the time.
Because these are good people they responded in kind, which confirmed my attitude and behaviour towards them: "wow, this really works". Over the years since I have been fortunate to make them all very close friends, and in the process make myself a genuinely more happy, friendly and positive person.
I've probably never been happier, infact, and I suppose the rambling point I'm making is that it started with a CONSCIOUS effort to GIVE to other people in the first place; but now its part of me, its second nature.
You DO only get back what you give out, its true, but it soon becomes a kind of self-perpetuating "positive feedback loop" until everybody involved - not just you - is actually a happier and more stable person.
Anyway, sorry for the long post... I know this all sounds like self-help nonsense but this is nevertheless my philosophy.
the thing is, in my experience, not only cheerful and sunny people are good people - if you mean not liking to see others feel pain. Two points; 1) not everyone can help feeling unhappy 2) a lot of people, (I should know cos I used to work as an alternative therapies practitioner, and, while being completely honest, I was very popular as a confidante!) - really find tremendously powerful comfort in sympathetic and empathetic words, including me, and even find great joy in them. Which is not to say anyone should be obliged to sympathise with anyone else, but I don't agree that our (people who like sympathy), feelings and theraeupeutic needs/habits are wrong. No, I don't think it's wrong to want to be cheerful either, and if anyone wants to be cheered up, I totally go along with that - but I believe in each to their own. Why are we bad people and why do people think it's okay for others to have a go at us because we don't look happy and aren't particularly into only having happy moods and cheery thoughts all the time?
I think he was trying to get me to cheer up but it was odd. It reminded me of "That 70's show" when Donna was feeling crappy and Eric goes "Cheer up....Let's have Super Hot Sex Baby".
To this day he'll still ask me if I want to have his baby.
Seriously, people like this scare me.
Also why the old thread??
Really? I often find that reminding myself how fortunate I really am, as opposed to how fortunate I feel in the moment, does help.
Why do you think lol, DS' relentless PBU is back (get a life) :yawn: